FabSwingers.com forum: Shit jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I got myself a new suit of amour the other day. Asked my girl to polish it for me while i went out with the lads. She said "ive always wanted a night in, shining amour"

Tell me your shit jokes please

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

What type of monkey explodes

A ba-boom (baboon)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What worse than nailing a baby to a tree? Ripping it off again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

Why did the dead baby cross the road...

Because it was stapled to the chicken...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What worse than finding a dead hooker in a bin bag?

Finding a dead hooker in four bin bags.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I said shit not sick lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My neice who is 3 told me this .What do you call a sheep with no legs ?

A cloud .

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

Snowman asks,Can you smell carrots?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”

I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

PTU xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

These are all great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What type of monkey explodes

A ba-boom (baboon)

So shit you had to explain it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There"s a hell of a lot of gang r@pe jokes about just now.Who"d be fucking crazy enough to try and r@pe a gang in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”

I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

PTU xxx "

That's not shit

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Two fish in a tank .

One turns to the other and asks

"You have any idea how to drive this ?"

How do you get Pikachu on the bus

You poke him on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nearly shat myself in the airport bar, bloke ran in shouting

'ALLA ALLA ALLA ALLLA ALLLLLA A LAGER AND A BAG OF NUTS PLEASE'

Loud mouthed stuttering prick

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By *azzzz777Man
over a year ago

chesterfield

What happened when my front two tooth had a argument....

They fell out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lady goes to the doctors with bad wind.

"Doctor, I feel really bloated and when I fart, I can feel it but they are silent and don't smell"

Take 2 of these daily and see me next week says the doc.

So the lady goes back...

Doctor, those pills have made things worse, I'm just as gassy and now my farts are like rolling thunder!

Excellent, says the doc, that's your hearing sorted, now to deal with your sinus problem.

I'm here all week, try the chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems.

He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”

I said “Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair”

PTU xxx

That's not shit

Sorry I'll try harder next time.

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By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Hear the one about the blind skunk... It fell in love with a fart.

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By *ebedee2009Man
over a year ago

South Croydon

Velcro...what a rip off.

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By *aughty_boy_2012Man
over a year ago

Burntwood

Statistically on 1 in 7 dwarves are happy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Two fish in a tank .

One turns to the other and asks

"You have any idea how to drive this ?"

How do you get Pikachu on the bus

You poke him on

Why did the pokemon hide under your bed?

So he could pikachu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't stay on here all day reading these.

I've the world facial hair championships to get to.

I'm running late so moustache

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's white and blue and really hard?

A fridge in a denim jacket!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time flies like an arrow,

Fruit flies like a banana.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you get hanging from banana trees?

Sore arms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snowman asks,Can you smell carrots?"

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

What type of monkey explodes

A ba-boom (baboon)

So shit you had to explain it

That's the point lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mickey Mouse is in the divorce court but the judge tells him, "You can't divorce your wife just because she has crooked teeth".

"I never said that. I said she is fucking Goofy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's green and smells like yellow paint?

Green paint.

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By *omez42Man
over a year ago

gloucester

Scientists have found a cure for dyslexia.

That's music to my arse

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By *omez42Man
over a year ago

gloucester

The Norwegian navy have barcodes on the sides of each ship.

When they return to port, they Scandinavian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and stick?

A stick ?

No....... Anal sex!

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By *lueWonderMan
over a year ago

Preston.....ish

My dogs got no nose....

How does he smell??

Awful!!

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By *lueWonderMan
over a year ago

Preston.....ish

What's the difference between jam and marmalade......

You can't marmalade your cock up a girls arse!!

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

What's E.T. short for?

Cos he's got little legs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One good thing about getting older is that multi-tasking becomes easier.

You can sneeze, piss and shit yourself all at the same time.

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