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Why ask if I'm ok after breakup

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was seeing a girl for a couple of months nothibg serious. A couple of weeks ago she then decided to try again with a guy who is very controlling. Since that point I have had minimal contact with her which is difficult considering we work reasonably close.

On Friday i heard through the rumour mill that he was displayi g the same behaviour that caused them to split. she text me asking if I was going to a meal with mutual friends for no reason other than to check If I was going and today she came over to ask if I was ok to which I said yes and she said she didn't feel like I was even though I have purposefully been acting like nothing happened. Why would she do this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She is also leaving the role at the end of the week so no real need to make an effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

making polite conversation as an ice breaker maybe before you all get together for your meal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hedging her bets.

Also by asking on here, i'd say you are hoping shes coming back.

Don't.

Walk away, stay away.

The other guy will be riding her anytime he wants as she clearly can't move on from him.

Next time she asks, just tell her -

I 'was' upset, but i've moved on now i realised it wasn't what i thought it was, which is why i'm keeping my distance now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not really a break up if it was nothing serious though huh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, just because you weren't what she wanted, doesn't mean she doesn't feel guilty about hurting you. Don't take it as a sign she wants you back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe checking that you won't get all emotional after a beer and cause a scene at the mutual friends party.

And maybe keeping you on the back burner when it goes tits up with the other fella.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wants to stay friends...

Doesnt want the dinner to be awkward...

Try not to read more into it than there really is, some people do actually care about exes for no reason other than theyre thoughtful people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The dinner has already happened and it was fine then today asked if I was ok today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was seeing a girl for a couple of months nothibg serious. A couple of weeks ago she then decided to try again with a guy who is very controlling. Since that point I have had minimal contact with her which is difficult considering we work reasonably close.

On Friday i heard through the rumour mill that he was displayi g the same behaviour that caused them to split. she text me asking if I was going to a meal with mutual friends for no reason other than to check If I was going and today she came over to ask if I was ok to which I said yes and she said she didn't feel like I was even though I have purposefully been acting like nothing happened. Why would she do this?"

This isn't the first time you've posted about this situation, it sounds as though your feelings about what happened are stronger than hers, maybe she can see through your "purposeful acting" and knows you're not okay?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was seeing a girl for a couple of months nothibg serious. A couple of weeks ago she then decided to try again with a guy who is very controlling. Since that point I have had minimal contact with her which is difficult considering we work reasonably close.

On Friday i heard through the rumour mill that he was displayi g the same behaviour that caused them to split. she text me asking if I was going to a meal with mutual friends for no reason other than to check If I was going and today she came over to ask if I was ok to which I said yes and she said she didn't feel like I was even though I have purposefully been acting like nothing happened. Why would she do this?

This isn't the first time you've posted about this situation, it sounds as though your feelings about what happened are stronger than hers, maybe she can see through your "purposeful acting" and knows you're not okay?

"

Maybe, maybe not. It's just a situation in trying to get through in the best way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She is also leaving the role at the end of the week so no real need to make an effort"
maybe she wants you as back up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The dinner has already happened and it was fine then today asked if I was ok today"

Just don't read anything into it. You are exes. Unless you have kids together or property or a dog, then there is no need to keep in contact. Move on. Best for her and definitely best for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"She is also leaving the role at the end of the week so no real need to make an effortmaybe she wants you as back up "

Haha personally I think she is gutted she hasn't got to me the way she has with other guys and that I've just got on with my life without any drama

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

could be a few reasons why.

she does actually care about you, as a friend.

maybe others in your circle of friends think she's a heartless bitch so she's trying to prove she isn't.

she just doesn't wanna cause drama amongst the circle of friends and wants to remain civil, or a friend..

maybe she's hoping you're not ok and wants to hear about that, yeah some people are that fucked up.

really you should ask her coz she is the only one who knows. then you gotta weigh up if she's telling the truth.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

At least you didn't go weird when she says hello I sw my ex last week I said hello he said we finished ages ago and I need to get over it after just saying hello haven't spoken to him in months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She is also leaving the role at the end of the week so no real need to make an effortmaybe she wants you as back up

Haha personally I think she is gutted she hasn't got to me the way she has with other guys and that I've just got on with my life without any drama"

If you're still thinking about this maybe she has gotten to you the way she has with other guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My soon to be ex husband informed me this morning that he's getting married in 12 months!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"She is also leaving the role at the end of the week so no real need to make an effortmaybe she wants you as back up

Haha personally I think she is gutted she hasn't got to me the way she has with other guys and that I've just got on with my life without any drama

If you're still thinking about this maybe she has gotten to you the way she has with other guys?"

No doubt dont want her to know that though

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

This may be difficult to understand but please try.

When she asked if you were okay, she was asking if you were okay.

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