FabSwingers.com forum: Any legal experts/solicitors on here please?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi,

I am not requesting free legal advice as such, but I would like some help if possible.

A friend/colleague shared an explicit video of me and a mutual male 'friend' (He is not employed by the company)

She did this without my knowledge and permission and with malicious intent.

She shared it with the area manager and other colleagues.

I have followed the entire grievance process and my employer has not been supportive at all.

They have said that because I did not tell her not to share the video, it was ok that she did?

I would like some info on what my options are? Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're serious about doing anything about this, I suggest you just go talk to a lawyer about it. Someone who specializes in the subject.

If you do progress with this on legal grounds, you discussing it here won't really do you any favors on the "privacy" front. Get a lawyer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a solicitor but we can't give away legal advice, free or otherwise, as we can still be held accountable for advice given even if it's outside of work. I'll be surprised if anyone would be willing to do so.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

As of 13th April 2015 a new revenge law came into effect, meaning those who share sexually explicit images without the subject's consent could find themselves in trouble and subject to criminal prosecution...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice would be to pay an employment law specialist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And speak to the police of course...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you're serious about doing anything about this, I suggest you just go talk to a lawyer about it. Someone who specializes in the subject.

If you do progress with this on legal grounds, you discussing it here won't really do you any favors on the "privacy" front. Get a lawyer. "

I can't afford to pay a solicitors/legal fees.

If this does go as far as employment tribunal, I am hoping that the legal cover provided by my Trade Union will be sufficient.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

This is now a criminal offence with offenders facing up to a 2 year jail sentence...

I think you need to make HR aware of this and see who they react when you say you plan to involve the police... As the CPS will prosecute depending on your employers stance they could possibly be held liable of aiding and abetting a criminal....

The law is on your side...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is now a criminal offence with offenders facing up to a 2 year jail sentence...

The law is on your side...

"
.

Not quite but yes.

As far as I'm aware its (revenge porn) if this lady has picked up this video from a website where it has been uploaded to I'm afraid I can't see how she would fall under that law.

If the male half of the video has passed this onto the lady who she works with then he has broken that law and the lady who shared it will also be culpable.

If she's shared it through works IT then I would imagine work would have culpability as well.

But I'm no expert so my advise is go to your trade union

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is now a criminal offence with offenders facing up to a 2 year jail sentence...

The law is on your side...

Not quite but yes.

As far as I'm aware its (revenge porn) if this lady has picked up this video from a website where it has been uploaded to I'm afraid I can't see how she would fall under that law.

If the male half of the video has passed this onto the lady who she works with then he has broken that law and the lady who shared it will also be culpable.

If she's shared it through works IT then I would imagine work would have culpability as well.

But I'm no expert so my advise is go to your trade union"

It was taken on the male's mobile phone and shared to a group WhatsApp page.

The colleague shared the video from WhatsApp.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

From what you are saying the Male is probably guilty and could face up to 2 years in jail.. And your colleague is probably culpable if you have proof of malicious intent.

I would expect HR to take a dim view of these matters considered a potential breach of criminal law has taken place...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police are your next port of call. Report the crime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is now a criminal offence with offenders facing up to a 2 year jail sentence...

The law is on your side...

Not quite but yes.

As far as I'm aware its (revenge porn) if this lady has picked up this video from a website where it has been uploaded to I'm afraid I can't see how she would fall under that law.

If the male half of the video has passed this onto the lady who she works with then he has broken that law and the lady who shared it will also be culpable.

If she's shared it through works IT then I would imagine work would have culpability as well.

But I'm no expert so my advise is go to your trade union

It was taken on the male's mobile phone and shared to a group WhatsApp page.

The colleague shared the video from WhatsApp. "
.

Oh id say they both are breaking the law then.

I'd go to your trade union first and see what they say maybe it could be resolved amicably before getting the police involved

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From what you are saying the Male is probably guilty and could face up to 2 years in jail.. And your colleague is probably culpable if you have proof of malicious intent.

I would expect HR to take a dim view of these matters considered a potential breach of criminal law has taken place...

Our HR department have been extremely poor.

I have followed the grievance procedure and they have not taken any action. I am extremely annoyed to say the least.

They have said that because I didn't tell her she could not share the video, it's ok that she did.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

"From what you are saying the Male is probably guilty and could face up to 2 years in jail.. And your colleague is probably culpable if you have proof of malicious intent.

I would expect HR to take a dim view of these matters considered a potential breach of criminal law has taken place...

Our HR department have been extremely poor.

I have followed the grievance procedure and they have not taken any action. I am extremely annoyed to say the least.

They have said that because I didn't tell her she could not share the video, it's ok that she did."

In that case I would suggested that you tell them you are planning to report this as a criminal matter and remind them of the law surrounding this and see how quickly they change their tune...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone for all your help. It is well appreciated I can assure you.

I have got all the information that I need together and will be making a visit to the police tomorrow first thing.

This is a nightmare situation, Thank you all for your support.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I'd say that you'd need to contact your trade union and see what they say. Take advice from them rather than a forum as then it has a documented date of contact and intervention date - potentially too what advice was given, say to take it to appeal.

Tell them the incident, the process you've followed at work and keep the info you have found out about your potential rights in hand, in case they try and pass it off. That you'll be contacting the police to report it. ACAS can also advise you of your work place rights.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

I feel for the embarrassment and humiliation you have been put through.

But it is an inspiration that you are prepared to use the law to make examples of people who commit these crimes and who feel it is ok to behave this way without understanding their impact and there consequences.

I hope that the perpetrators get the jail time they deserve.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd say that you'd need to contact your trade union and see what they say. Take advice from them rather than a forum as then it has a documented date of contact and intervention date - potentially too what advice was given, say to take it to appeal.

I have exhausted the entire grievance process (appeal) and no action has been taken against her.

I have also contacted my union and I am currently waiting on a call from my representative.

I am considering making a claim to employment tribunal (sexual harassment??)

I also think that it is wise to report to the police, out of principle, but also because it will strengthen any case that I bring to tribunal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From what you are saying the Male is probably guilty and could face up to 2 years in jail.. And your colleague is probably culpable if you have proof of malicious intent.

I would expect HR to take a dim view of these matters considered a potential breach of criminal law has taken place...

Our HR department have been extremely poor.

I have followed the grievance procedure and they have not taken any action. I am extremely annoyed to say the least.

They have said that because I didn't tell her she could not share the video, it's ok that she did."

surely that works both ways - you never gave permission either

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By *XHNHWoman
over a year ago

Stokeish...

Did this happen using work equipment in a work sanctioned social media group etc? It's hard to see what the grievance would achieve if not, as the workplace can't be responsible for everything adults do outside of work and share using their personal phones. There maybe a claim of bullying and harassment from the individual, but that's usually a separate process.

Others are right, distribution of porn etc without permission is a police matter, if the police take action then the workplace may have reason to sanction the individual based on them receiving a criminal conviction.

Personally I keep work well away from my sex life, seen far too many things like this happen.

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By *eedsandyMan
over a year ago

Leeds

The above post is correct.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It is a police matter. Once they get involved work may become more involved.

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By *rGenuineMan
over a year ago

Purley

"If you're serious about doing anything about this, I suggest you just go talk to a lawyer about it. Someone who specializes in the subject.

If you do progress with this on legal grounds, you discussing it here won't really do you any favors on the "privacy" front. Get a lawyer. "

Ridiculously hot photos guys x

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By *eedsandyMan
over a year ago

Leeds

But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

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By *XHNHWoman
over a year ago

Stokeish...

"But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

The limited involvement of these things that I've had, the police told the individual to remove the images (they posted stuff online of a woman who had an affair with their husband) and didn't take it further.

Personally I am sure this has been a horrible experience, but the fault lies with the male "friend" who shared it. We don't have the full facts here, so maybe at the time you said you were happy for him to share it with limited people, I don't know, but it's him I would be directing my anger at, as he allowed it to happen. I believe it will be him the police are most concerned about, not a third party who shared it from a group and "allegedly" didn't know it wasn't for wider distribution.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

Surely they could be a request for the non reporting of names due to the sensitive nature ?

Whether it is a work or trade union issue the police really do need to contact the individuals to stop them spreading the video

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi you do have goid legal grounds to start a lot of proceedings, as stated above their has been several new laws come in to effect. Firstly you would need to involve the local police, secondly your company's H,R department must be made aware if this happened at work. They also have a legal obligation to involve the police is such matters. They can not say that it's ok because you didn't say she couldn't. You can on me privately for any more help

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By *aughtycouple1008Couple
over a year ago

west london

Go to the police. Indecent pics were shown of you to the public this is a criminal matter. I hope you go to police. Theres a jail sentence for this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too late its out there now so not a lot of point doing much really.

For the future though just say no to guys wanting to film you sucking their cocks.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Is this the same incident that you asked about 4 weeks ago, and has now come to a conclusion, or a new incident?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this the same incident that you asked about 4 weeks ago, and has now come to a conclusion, or a new incident?"

Oh there are others. ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

The female colleague who shared the video claims that she only shared with the area manager and another colleague.

As far as I am aware, she has not shared it further or uploaded it to the internet.

However, she is inpulsive and volatile and i am not sure i believe a word she says.

It was initially shared with the male friend to a group WhatsApp page (I knew that he had done it afterwards, but I did not want it shared any further than the 3 people, which included me, on that page)

The female then took it upon herself to share the video with other parties when me and her had a major disagreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From what you are saying the Male is probably guilty and could face up to 2 years in jail.. And your colleague is probably culpable if you have proof of malicious intent.

I would expect HR to take a dim view of these matters considered a potential breach of criminal law has taken place...

Our HR department have been extremely poor.

I have followed the grievance procedure and they have not taken any action. I am extremely annoyed to say the least.

They have said that because I didn't tell her she could not share the video, it's ok that she did.

surely that works both ways - you never gave permission either"

No it only works one way, it's like me taking your car it would be theft, I couldn't get around it by saying be they never said I couldn't take it.

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"Too late its out there now so not a lot of point doing much really.

For the future though just say no to guys wanting to film you sucking their cocks.

"
very helpfull

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this the same incident that you asked about 4 weeks ago, and has now come to a conclusion, or a new incident?"

No not a new incident..... lesson learned from this ONE occasion I can assure you.

The grievance eye has been ongoing all this time and has come to a conclusion with no action being taken.

I was of the thought that I would let internal processes/HR deal with it first rather than involving the police, but it's now evident that I need to involve the police because my employer is not taking it seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/17 13:33:18]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this the same incident that you asked about 4 weeks ago, and has now come to a conclusion, or a new incident?

Oh there are others. ?

No NO others.....just the one. I am not completely stupid. Lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too late its out there now so not a lot of point doing much really.

For the future though just say no to guys wanting to film you sucking their cocks.

very helpfull

Just honest

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By *eedsandyMan
over a year ago

Leeds

But the police action and your employer's action are totally different things.

What did you expect your employers to do about it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

The female colleague who shared the video claims that she only shared with the area manager and another colleague.

As far as I am aware, she has not shared it further or uploaded it to the internet.

However, she is inpulsive and volatile and i am not sure i believe a word she says.

The female then took it upon herself to share the video with other parties when me and her had a major disagreement. "

Going by what you have just said here work has no reason to take any action, sorry to say but it has been done with private equipment and not works, unless it's a company phone then they are with in their rights to take no action. Your only option now is police and a civil lawsuit against all parties included

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go to the police. Indecent pics were shown of you to the public this is a criminal matter. I hope you go to police. Theres a jail sentence for this. "

Ohhh I can assure you that I am definitely going to make a complaint to the police tomorrow.

Will keep you all updated regarding the response etc.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

The female colleague who shared the video claims that she only shared with the area manager and another colleague.

As far as I am aware, she has not shared it further or uploaded it to the internet.

However, she is inpulsive and volatile and i am not sure i believe a word she says.

The female then took it upon herself to share the video with other parties when me and her had a major disagreement. "

Are there just you, the male and this female colleague in this whatsapp group?

She then showed it to your manager and HR?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this the same incident that you asked about 4 weeks ago, and has now come to a conclusion, or a new incident?

Oh there are others. ?

No NO others.....just the one. I am not completely stupid. Lesson learned. "

Well good to hear but seriously i'd leave it now it only probably only provoke her to spread your sex tape around even more.

It blow over so to speak and somebody else be ' news ' in a week or so.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

What an utterly foul cow to do that to you and him for sharing it in the first instance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But the police action and your employer's action are totally different things.

What did you expect your employers to do about it?"

The female in question was continually sending me ezplicit photos and videos of herself involved in various activities....including having anal sex and sex with mulpiple people.

I am 1000% straight, she is Bi....not that it makes any difference but they made me uncomfortable. She also tried to 'come-onto' me in the workplace once.

She was a friend as well as a colleague and this made the situation extremely difficult. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to complain because it would cause conflict.

But given all this, I am thinking that I have a claim of sexual harassment or something in a Tribunal??

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have exhausted the entire grievance process (appeal) and no action has been taken against her.

I have also contacted my union and I am currently waiting on a call from my representative.

I am considering making a claim to employment tribunal (sexual harassment??)

I also think that it is wise to report to the police, out of principle, but also because it will strengthen any case that I bring to tribunal. "

A Tribunal will cost you more than going to see a solicitor. As others have said this may be covered by the Revenge Porn laws. Go to the police, speak to your union and get a solicitor.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The female colleague who shared the video claims that she only shared with the area manager and another colleague.

As far as I am aware, she has not shared it further or uploaded it to the internet.

However, she is inpulsive and volatile and i am not sure i believe a word she says.

The female then took it upon herself to share the video with other parties when me and her had a major disagreement.

Are there just you, the male and this female colleague in this whatsapp group?

She then showed it to your manager and HR?"

Yes that is correct.

Apparently because it was placed on a group WhatsApp page with her, me and the male, it implies consent to share it with others?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

The female colleague who shared the video claims that she only shared with the area manager and another colleague.

As far as I am aware, she has not shared it further or uploaded it to the internet.

However, she is inpulsive and volatile and i am not sure i believe a word she says.

The female then took it upon herself to share the video with other parties when me and her had a major disagreement. "

She was part of the group you agreed to have the video? You were ok with her sharing it with the area manager? Then you had a disagreement? I can see why HR might struggle.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

"Is this the same incident that you asked about 4 weeks ago, and has now come to a conclusion, or a new incident?

Oh there are others. ?

No NO others.....just the one. I am not completely stupid. Lesson learned.

Well good to hear but seriously i'd leave it now it only probably only provoke her to spread your sex tape around even more."

And that is a criminal offence....

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Are there just you, the male and this female colleague in this whatsapp group?

She then showed it to your manager and HR?

Yes that is correct.

Apparently because it was placed on a group WhatsApp page with her, me and the male, it implies consent to share it with others?"

Have I got this right?

On the other thread, you say the guy is a mutual fb of you and your female colleage, he's not working at your firm. The video gets put on a whatsapp group by him, that just the 3 of you are members of.

Separately, you report her at work to HR for some other issue completely. She then shows the video to HR and your boss in vengeance or as 'evidence' of something?? Is that a fair summary?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Go to the police. Indecent pics were shown of you to the public this is a criminal matter. I hope you go to police. Theres a jail sentence for this.

Ohhh I can assure you that I am definitely going to make a complaint to the police tomorrow.

Will keep you all updated regarding the response etc."

Really, DON'T. You might prejudice your case further than you already have.

This is a public forum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But do you really want to involve them? Having to show that video to them and in Court? Will the CPS even prosecute?

Will the local paper report the case? Won't that be even more humiliating?

The female colleague who shared the video claims that she only shared with the area manager and another colleague.

As far as I am aware, she has not shared it further or uploaded it to the internet.

However, she is inpulsive and volatile and i am not sure i believe a word she says.

The female then took it upon herself to share the video with other parties when me and her had a major disagreement.

She was part of the group you agreed to have the video? You were ok with her sharing it with the area manager? Then you had a disagreement? I can see why HR might struggle.

No that is not correct.... a group WhatsApp page was set up to enable us all to communicate effectively.

The male (not employed by the company) and met up outside work and he took the video.

The male friend (mutual) then shared video to WA.

I was ok with that because it was only the 3 of us on the page.

Me and female then fall out and she shared the video with colleagues and area manager to get me into trouble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

I am not requesting free legal advice as such, but I would like some help if possible.

A friend/colleague shared an explicit video of me and a mutual male 'friend' (He is not employed by the company)

She did this without my knowledge and permission and with malicious intent.

She shared it with the area manager and other colleagues.

I have followed the entire grievance process and my employer has not been supportive at all.

They have said that because I did not tell her not to share the video, it was ok that she did?

I would like some info on what my options are? Any help would be appreciated.

Thank you. "

Does this fall under the new laws around revenge porn etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are there just you, the male and this female colleague in this whatsapp group?

She then showed it to your manager and HR?

Yes that is correct.

Apparently because it was placed on a group WhatsApp page with her, me and the male, it implies consent to share it with others?

Have I got this right?

Separately, you report her at work to HR for some other issue completely. She then shows the video to HR and your boss in vengeance or as 'evidence' of something?? Is that a fair summary?"

Absolutely spot on yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id jack the job in and sack the so called friends

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"But the police action and your employer's action are totally different things.

What did you expect your employers to do about it?

The female in question was continually sending me ezplicit photos and videos of herself involved in various activities....including having anal sex and sex with mulpiple people.

I am 1000% straight, she is Bi....not that it makes any difference but they made me uncomfortable. She also tried to 'come-onto' me in the workplace once.

She was a friend as well as a colleague and this made the situation extremely difficult. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to complain because it would cause conflict.

But given all this, I am thinking that I have a claim of sexual harassment or something in a Tribunal?? "

Your complaint to HR wasn't about the sexual harassment was it? You cannot go to a Tribunal until you have exhausted internal policies and procedures and pay the Tribunal fees.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go to the police. Indecent pics were shown of you to the public this is a criminal matter. I hope you go to police. Theres a jail sentence for this.

Ohhh I can assure you that I am definitely going to make a complaint to the police tomorrow.

Will keep you all updated regarding the response etc.

Really, DON'T. You might prejudice your case further than you already have.

This is a public forum."

Ok....point taken, Thank you.