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Advice from men..........ahem !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If men wrote advice columns

******************************

Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s a great time to clean the house, too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

love these

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

I'm fucked then because I can't cook lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like good advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genius lol

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

totally true!! so funny, im going to giggle over this alnight! but i havent got anyone to cook a nice meal for

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

ha ha haha ha

lovin it peaches.

i hope women take heed.this advice would make for happier relationships all round.

oh and some,right fat b*******.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know you love it saucy

the post was good as well

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

brilliant ... just have to make sure Mr A doesnt read this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you all finding this common sense post humorous?

Peaches is only stating the law according to my hubby... ya bloody bunch of piss takers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/08/11 21:30:37]

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees


"totally true!! so funny, im going to giggle over this alnight! but i havent got anyone to cook a nice meal for "

I am not surprised you have no one to cook for. You have your profile hidden and most of your photos locked away too. You are a bad, wicked girl! If I am going to drive all that way for a meal you seriously need to stop abusing us males with this hidden profile nonsense.

Now what's for tea? I'm bloody starving! And hurry up and get those pics on show. I want to knock one out before I have my grub so they'd better be smutty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"brilliant ... just have to make sure Mr A doesnt read this one "

I have to make sure Siren DOES read it!

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"brilliant ... just have to make sure Mr A doesnt read this one

I have to make sure Siren DOES read it! "

lol ... im gonna tell Siren its all lies

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

lol, u can make ur own bloody dinner now!!! will bring my profile back out soon

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