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Roll eye status updates.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You've all seen them. You've all done it. The status updates that do the rounds. Rather than roll eyes. Invent a witty retort like we do.

Hmmmm! (Just finished off the multipack of Doritos)

Hmmm Hmmm! (Was that not a song by the crash test dummies)

No pic no reply! (You go first?)

Read the profile! (I have but by sentence two I got bored, but hey you've got nice tits so I will over look that)

READ THE PROFILE!! (I have but got half way down the Do's and Dont's I got bored. Still got great tits though!)

I'm back! (Had you gone?)

Anyone miss me? (Had you gone? You've only been offline two days)

Well that was different! (So is playing canasta with an elephant but if you don't explain I can't tell the difference.

I shall let you lot continue. Have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When females post that's it's time of the month and looking for a female for the hubby.

( really do we need to know and can't he go without for a few days )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The - that was great, until next time....

You might have just eaten the best takeaway on a Friday like you do every week?

Or did you get shagged off someone off Fab? Amazing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones who can't resist a catty swipe at the physique of others on the hot pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bored.

Boring.

Bored.com

I am bored.

Someone come blow me.

I am bored I need someone to fuck.

Get a fecking life

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

You know who you are (yes i fucking do but if you don't actually name me in your status i'm ignoring your messages from now on).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The petty sad remarks about other fabbers.

Again. Get a fecking life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a guy's profile : wow! What a great evening! You know who you are! (No they don't, you've just made that up haven't you?)

Looking for a woman to satisfy my hubby while I'm at work! (Hubby wrote this - and he'll delete it before Mrs leaves work or if Mrs even exists)

From females : site supporter pass runs out in a week, don't know whether to renew (someone pay for me...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some ignorant people on here (I know you are but what am I)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've blocked most local people so I don't get any of that shit any more.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

This site is rubbish, i'm leaving (out the fact that i can't afford a prostitute so not going anywhere).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's fab.... it's up to each person to put what they want on their profile or status...

If you don't like what you read...

It's simples...just move on

or did I just fall I to the Thursday rant thread?

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"Some ignorant people on here (I know you are but what am I) "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anybody meet on this site? (yes, but they just don't meet you.)

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

My status is a gag from mock the week that made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't wait to see you.you know who you are

Hot pics are a fucking joke now

Fab my pics to fuck me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's fab.... it's up to each person to put what they want on their profile or status...

If you don't like what you read...

It's simples...just move on

or did I just fall I to the Thursday rant thread?"

I think it's just a light-hearted thread fella. You may be overthinking it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My pic just made page two in hot pics! Fab it if you like it! (Fab pic whore)

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

anybody fancy a social tonight? (and by social i mean sex)

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

never been sucked to completion before, anyone up for the challenge? (yes, i really do think women are that stupid)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are so up themselves. I wouldn't look at them twice on a night out (yet I'm totally incredulous that they've just turned ME down for sex!)

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

just blocked another ignorant fuck on here (i don't know they can't now see my statuses)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for a complete whore to destroy..........profile describes himself as a polite respectful gent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does anybody meet on this site? (yes, but they just don't meet you.) "

Hahaha I see this constantly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've all seen them. You've all done it. The status updates that do the rounds. Rather than roll eyes. Invent a witty retort like we do.

Hmmmm! (Just finished off the multipack of Doritos)

Hmmm Hmmm! (Was that not a song by the crash test dummies)

No pic no reply! (You go first?)

Read the profile! (I have but by sentence two I got bored, but hey you've got nice tits so I will over look that)

READ THE PROFILE!! (I have but got half way down the Do's and Dont's I got bored. Still got great tits though!)

I'm back! (Had you gone?)

Anyone miss me? (Had you gone? You've only been offline two days)

Well that was different! (So is playing canasta with an elephant but if you don't explain I can't tell the difference.

I shall let you lot continue. Have fun. "

So you didn't read my profile then - hurrumph and stampy feet

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"You know who you are (yes i fucking do but if you don't actually name me in your status i'm ignoring your messages from now on)."

Or you know who you are - yes a person you invented so we all think you're getting some

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"You've all seen them. You've all done it. The status updates that do the rounds. Rather than roll eyes. Invent a witty retort like we do.

Hmmmm! (Just finished off the multipack of Doritos)

Hmmm Hmmm! (Was that not a song by the crash test dummies)

No pic no reply! (You go first?)

Read the profile! (I have but by sentence two I got bored, but hey you've got nice tits so I will over look that)

READ THE PROFILE!! (I have but got half way down the Do's and Dont's I got bored. Still got great tits though!)

I'm back! (Had you gone?)

Anyone miss me? (Had you gone? You've only been offline two days)

Well that was different! (So is playing canasta with an elephant but if you don't explain I can't tell the difference.

I shall let you lot continue. Have fun.

So you didn't read my profile then - hurrumph and stampy feet "

Read what is this mystical thing....I just look at pics as they tell a thousand words

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Anyone genuine here that actually meets? (yes, lots, but seemingly not with *you*!)

In my hotel and horny, who wants to fuck? (for god's sake, at least put a meet up)

This place is crap (feeling sorry for myself - hoping my status will prompt a pity fuck (unlikely))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The statusses that read like Twitter updates. That's what Twitter is for. I don't need to know you've been shopping and now are cooking dinner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm back!! (With a new name, new profile and new pics so no one knows who the heck I am anyway)

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"

In my hotel and horny, who wants to fuck? (for god's sake, at least put a meet up)

"

Ive done that before.

I put it a bit better than that but it still didnt work lol

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

In xxxxxx (local town) - (thanks for the heads up, I know where to avoid)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Damn I was going to post saying I'm up the m5 tonight...

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It's fab.... it's up to each person to put what they want on their profile or status...

If you don't like what you read...

It's simples...just move on

or did I just fall I to the Thursday rant thread?"

Just as simple to ignore this read. Nobody says 'simples'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1at that say 'Unless it a Tom Hardy/Will Smith lookalike I'm not interested' really! Haha as if there are Tom Hardy lookalikes on every corner

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

There is a couple profile in my area that is all 420 this... 420 that.

"Any one drop off some 420. Cash or my tits...your choice."

"Anyone fancy a Meet. Bring 420"

Their last 7 statuses have been variations of this.

We know it's cannabis!!!!

You are not using some Top secret code. You know it is against site rules otherwise there is no need for the code.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo


"1at that say 'Unless it a Tom Hardy/Will Smith lookalike I'm not interested' really! Haha as if there are Tom Hardy lookalikes on every corner "

Unfortunately this is true - I've never seen one on any corner ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's fab.... it's up to each person to put what they want on their profile or status...

If you don't like what you read...

It's simples...just move on

or did I just fall I to the Thursday rant thread?

Just as simple to ignore this read. Nobody says 'simples'."

And yet you didn't

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By *earandmonkeyCouple
over a year ago

uxbridge


"On a guy's profile : wow! What a great evening! You know who you are! (No they don't, you've just made that up haven't you?)

Looking for a woman to satisfy my hubby while I'm at work! (Hubby wrote this - and he'll delete it before Mrs leaves work or if Mrs even exists)

From females : site supporter pass runs out in a week, don't know whether to renew (someone pay for me...)"

Mrs here and i am looking for a playmate for hubby as im off to america for three months. And i was willing to speak in person but im guessing my hubbys only good enough for me as only one woman wants him lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's fab.... it's up to each person to put what they want on their profile or status...

If you don't like what you read...

It's simples...just move on

or did I just fall I to the Thursday rant thread?

Just as simple to ignore this read. Nobody says 'simples'."

Our learned friended is either on rant Thursday, has put up some genius status updates or woe betide he is whiteknighting thus creating his own status update in this thread.

Anyway back to game.

What to do today? Hmmmm! (Eat another pack of multipack Doritos)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When females post that's it's time of the month and looking for a female for the hubby.

( really do we need to know and can't he go without for a few days ) "

I doubt it's the female posting

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

1 on my Local Updates this morning made me laugh...

"Going for a wee. Back in 3"

(I'm going to be charitable and assume he was poking fun at other facebook-type updates lol)

Another one read "Free house for an hour this morning if any lady wants to come fuck me and go". I dunno how I resisted rushing straight over...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1 on my Local Updates this morning made me laugh...

"Going for a wee. Back in 3"

(I'm going to be charitable and assume he was poking fun at other facebook-type updates lol)

Another one read "Free house for an hour this morning if any lady wants to come fuck me and go". I dunno how I resisted rushing straight over... "

Ha.must start looking at my local updates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those that say 'free between 2 and 3 for discreet cum and go' (when the wife is at her hairdressers appt)!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"1at that say 'Unless it a Tom Hardy/Will Smith lookalike I'm not interested' really! Haha as if there are Tom Hardy lookalikes on every corner

Unfortunately this is true - I've never seen one on any corner ..."

Haha thank you, was starting to think maybe there is 5 in every city except Essex haha

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

'Damn you mother nature'...

I presume the painters are in but I always hope for something else. My mind boggles.

Whatever. I'm printing out a certificate for you and I'm bringing it over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet?

(Rolls eyes)

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I said this a few years ago.

I'd remove the 'status' option as it inflates egos and way more often than not they are completely pointless.

People get ignored on Facebook so they say it here instead and due to certain features not being on here but on facey they have no idea how uninterested we are about it.

eg. Hungover or even daily diary often beginning with the word 'right'. 'Right best go and .....'

Yes I am fun at party's. I put the 'fun' into funeral. Thankfully we have a block button and I use it mostly for status ' s.

You've been to the gym or for a run. Well done, have some cake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I said this a few years ago.

I'd remove the 'status' option as it inflates egos and way more often than not they are completely pointless.

People get ignored on Facebook so they say it here instead and due to certain features not being on here but on facey they have no idea how uninterested we are about it.

eg. Hungover or even daily diary often beginning with the word 'right'. 'Right best go and .....'

Yes I am fun at party's. I put the 'fun' into funeral. Thankfully we have a block button and I use it mostly for status ' s.

You've been to the gym or for a run. Well done, have some cake.

"

I think they're great, they often speak volumes about a person.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I said this a few years ago.

I'd remove the 'status' option as it inflates egos and way more often than not they are completely pointless.

People get ignored on Facebook so they say it here instead and due to certain features not being on here but on facey they have no idea how uninterested we are about it.

eg. Hungover or even daily diary often beginning with the word 'right'. 'Right best go and .....'

Yes I am fun at party's. I put the 'fun' into funeral. Thankfully we have a block button and I use it mostly for status ' s.

You've been to the gym or for a run. Well done, have some cake.

I think they're great, they often speak volumes about a person."

I'm the complete opposite of that as it's only the Internet and you can who you like to some extent

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

My status updates make me laugh, cringe or just

'Do lady's read messages or just delete' We do but delete lots, shame yours was one of them!!!

'Thursday fuck' Don't worry it's Friday tomorrow.

'Stopped on the 4th layby on the A43' And? No, I don't want to meet you in your lorry

'I love girls who play on their period' Really? Your wife doesn't mind a scene resembling the Chainsaw Massacre then?

'On holiday, will answer messages when I get back' I'm on my honeymoon but she's too vanilla for me, call you soon (true story!)

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Why do men .....

As if they genuinely want an answer. Lay off the lemons and dont be so bitter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people put words from a song up

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Need my balls draining. Hit me up

Which lucky slut wants to come suck my cock

Who's horny?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"When people put words from a song up "

Guilty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm updating mine right now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you'll like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Meet?

(Rolls eyes) "

Or even meat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up

Guilty "

Also guilty..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does anybody meet on this site? (yes, but they just don't meet you.) "

Hahaha

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"I think you'll like it. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/17 10:17:27]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you'll like it. "

Sorry about that. I opened the cage and they all escaped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got back from the gym (I'm the cleaner).

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"I'm back!! (With a new name, new profile and new pics so no one knows who the heck I am anyway) "

You forgot the younger age

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Feeling horny'. Congratulations. As are most of us otherwise we wouldn't be on the site...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Feeling horny'. Congratulations. As are most of us otherwise we wouldn't be on the site..."
most feel horny and still they don't meet lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good morning... Good evening... Good night... having lunch...

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"When people put words from a song up "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick discreet suck behind the manky bogs in town.

PTU xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't take much to say thanks but not thanks. (It takes even less to assume no reply means the same and move on.)

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By *xploringThisWorldMan
over a year ago

collier row

When people write 'Mmmmmmmmmmmm' in their status or profile even.

It's sounds so childish, these people shouldn't be on an adult site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up "

Je ne regrette rien!

But seriously, I think you'd enjoy this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhPzx2KLoUg

Had me in tears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mines full of " can anyone drop bud/ off" manchester has some classy birds. Not sure why anyone would need to go on a site to ask that, manchester is rife with it.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Really need a hug / Feeling devastated / Great, that's all I need and similar such attention seeking statuses - Faceache is *that* way if you're hoping for lots of 'Awww, whassup hun' type responses

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

I gess i got a good Status as i carnt see it on hear

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"Anyone genuine here that actually meets? (yes, lots, but seemingly not with *you*!)

In my hotel and horny, who wants to fuck? (for god's sake, at least put a meet up)

This place is crap (feeling sorry for myself - hoping my status will prompt a pity fuck (unlikely))"

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Going to xyz club on XXXXX day - come say hi if you see me"

...because of course I'm going to recognise you from your cock/boob pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst for me is 'I hate having no money' or 'who wants to spoil me?' (Basically who wants to pay me for sex)

Makes me cringe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The worst for me is 'I hate having no money' or 'who wants to spoil me?' (Basically who wants to pay me for sex)

Makes me cringe "

Don't forget the ones that use the status box as a gumtree ad to get the desperate blokes to run here there and bleedin' everywhere hoping to get some lol

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I've just seen this one:

'Hmmm what does portsmouth have to offer? Any one...'

and couldn't resist reading it as 'what does Portsmouth have to offer anyone?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The worst for me is 'I hate having no money' or 'who wants to spoil me?' (Basically who wants to pay me for sex)

Makes me cringe "

Haha! Must make a note. For me 'spoil me' means a good back stroke and a cup of tea in bed. Could have gone horribly wrong..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/17 12:03:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(What to do today)

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


""Going to xyz club on XXXXX day - come say hi if you see me"

...because of course I'm going to recognise you from your cock/boob pic "

And the daily countdown reminders you get. Same with holidays.

I can't myself and always send a message asking of they are going there, only you haven't mentioned it much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

KIK message us on.......

We or I are just fantasists and won't meet

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

This twist on the 'truck' meet just appeared on my timeline:

"Free about 12.15 once i find a place to park if you wanna meet in my truck?"

So now we've got to wait to find out the mystery location (which could be miles away) too...and as of right now have 6 minutes to get there!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/17 12:21:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My feed is full of guys whining that 'this site is sh*t', 'no one meets', 'all talk on here' etc etc.

On closer inspection, none of them have a profile, nevermind photos.

What goes through these people's heads at all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Feeling horny'. Congratulations. As are most of us otherwise we wouldn't be on the site...most feel horny and still they don't meet lol "

Disagree completely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"'Feeling horny'. Congratulations. As are most of us otherwise we wouldn't be on the site...most feel horny and still they don't meet lol

Disagree completely."

The obligatory roll eye answer to your statement.

"What's up hun?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Feeling horny'. Congratulations. As are most of us otherwise we wouldn't be on the site...most feel horny and still they don't meet lol

Disagree completely.

The obligatory roll eye answer to your statement.

"What's up hun?"

"

Nothing wrong with me, I'm having fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The worst for me is 'I hate having no money' or 'who wants to spoil me?' (Basically who wants to pay me for sex)

Makes me cringe "

HIT the nail on the head myself think they shld be banned, you right its literally saying 'spoil me with gifts for sex'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up

Guilty "

Same here, what's wrong with putting up song lyrics?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up

Guilty

Same here, what's wrong with putting up song lyrics? "

"It's not unusual"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up

Guilty

Same here, what's wrong with putting up song lyrics? "

Totally guilty of song lyrics and film quotes when the mood takes me. Heh ho. Tomorrow is another day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hold my jolly hand up to song lyrics too and odd random status messages

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By *xploringThisWorldMan
over a year ago

collier row


"When people put words from a song up

Guilty

Same here, what's wrong with putting up song lyrics?

Totally guilty of song lyrics and film quotes when the mood takes me. Heh ho. Tomorrow is another day. "

I'm sure there's many men that overlook any status failings for you my lady

Talk about scorching hot ! Wowzer haha

. . Some people can get away with anything due to being very alluring.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

*fab my photo*

Sweetheart it's the same one you uploaded last week.

*my inbox is so full I will get back to you*

Needy twat

Anyway, I like a lyrical or literary quote on a status.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I hold my jolly hand up to song lyrics too and odd random status messages "

I did have 'wild wild farts' as my status, taken from Rihanna ' s latest song.

At least I think that's what she says

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please feel free to fab mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When women talk about being ruined. That sounds disturbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up "

Oh no.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had amazing meet and sex, when was your last time?"

Meaning: Really hope you still haven't had a meet and if you have hope you don't post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm off to work now speak to you all later" 30 mins later and they are still online and putting new pics up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha loving this thread

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up

Oh no..... "

It's ok they don't mean us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread"

Meaning: Wish I was bright enough to make witty comment as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a status that says "not looking to sleep with all of fab" yet they have over 100 verifications from 97 different men and 5 this week already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When people put words from a song up

Oh no.....

It's ok they don't mean us "

Good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who name and shame....despicable behavior that...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

One for the ladies

"I've had forty seven messages today already"

(Try two hundred and fifty seven. Welcome to the club love)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/17 18:11:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's fab.... it's up to each person to put what they want on their profile or status...

If you don't like what you read...

It's simples...just move on

or did I just fall I to the Thursday rant thread?"

Bravo. Well said.

Oh dear read mine you will all love pulling mine to pieces. Do I care. Nah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who name and shame....despicable behavior that..."

Nah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who name and shame....despicable behavior that..."

Stealth barebacking they deserve to be name and shamed. Anyone who does something which is unforgiveable should be named and shamed

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"People who name and shame....despicable behavior that...

Stealth barebacking they deserve to be name and shamed. Anyone who does something which is unforgiveable should be named and shamed "

Does this not constitute the 'R' word we're not allowed to say, as it is done without consent?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People who name and shame....despicable behavior that...

Stealth barebacking they deserve to be name and shamed. Anyone who does something which is unforgiveable should be named and shamed

Does this not constitute the 'R' word we're not allowed to say, as it is done without consent? "

In my eyes yes it does and I'd dearly love to name and shame that person thst did it to me so he never does it again. Thankfully all is good.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire


"When females post that's it's time of the month and looking for a female for the hubby.

( really do we need to know and can't he go without for a few days ) "

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