FabSwingers.com forum: Counselling does it really help

By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

Im currently thinking of going to councilling just want to know if anyone has been and did it help ? i don't want to go into why i think i need it or why you did

Just curious to know if it helps x

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

All depends hun

Did it help me, yes

Did it help my relationship, no

Did my husband ever benefit, never

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im currently thinking of going to councilling just want to know if anyone has been and did it help ? i don't want to go into why i think i need it or why you did

Just curious to know if it helps x"

I had counselling with a therapist arranged through my GP and it was the best thing i have ever done.

My counsellor helped me to see things more clearly, put things into perspective, make more sensible, thought out, informed decisions...

She also taught me some very effective coping strategies such as breathing techniques and mindfulness...... I would always recommend that someone facing issues, anxiety, trauma, stress, addictions or whatever the problems, they seek counselling.

It helped me enormously.

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

It isnt a marriage issue its trauma from an injury x thank you both x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years ago I saw a therapist privately for about a year.

Therapists or councillors tend to stay quiet and encourage you to talk!

I talked a lot, about all sorts of shit!

She didn't give any advice or judgement just let me talk.

At the time I had just been prescribed medication by my gp.

i was in a bad place in my life but pleased to same I'm in a good place now

I don't know if it was the therapy, medication or just the passage of time that got me through it or whether it was a combination!

You shouldn't worry about it, they are normally good, kind people if they are any good

Good luck! X

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By *cott89Man
over a year ago

prestatyn

I'm going through it at the moment, it helps if you take it serious and put the effort in but there's no such thing as a quick fix it's all about change g your way way of thinking and living so you need to be willing to make changes x

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

If you can afford it yes. If you are a teanager with parents on benefits you will never know.

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

I thought i was dealing quite well with it and then out the blue the nightmares and the fear comes back im quite a strong minded and willed person nothing really affects me but this seems to be really beatn me and getting me down

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I thought i was dealing quite well with it and then out the blue the nightmares and the fear comes back im quite a strong minded and willed person nothing really affects me but this seems to be really beatn me and getting me down"

Have you considered whether you might have PTSD? Have u asked your GP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me no, counciling/talking did nothing whatsoever.

For others some say it was brilliant and helped them.loads other said it didn't do anything for them.

It's going to be about you really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't expect it to be a magic fix that prevents intrusive thoughts and feelings.

The main idea is to help you cope with them when they happen

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By *cott89Man
over a year ago

prestatyn

Dealing with it can sometimes add to the problem as we get into a habit of suppressing things and letting them build up rather than focusing on getting over things and getting better, counselling doesn't work for everyone but if you are struggling anything is worth a try start off small by talking things through with a close friend and opening up more and see how that makes you feel

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

PTSD.

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

I had PTSD and it sorted me hun

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

PTSD. Try real PTSD. Try the first gulf war. Basra road out of Kuwait.Spent plutonium rounds at every vehicle. REME Soldiers told to get the vehicles off the road because the dozers and carriers are coming. So you push the man off the drivers seat. Behind you are children burnt black and busted like sausages .Move it 5 foot then onto the next.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PTSD. Try real PTSD. Try the first gulf war. Basra road out of Kuwait.Spent plutonium rounds at every vehicle. REME Soldiers told to get the vehicles off the road because the dozers and carriers are coming. So you push the man off the drivers seat. Behind you are children burnt black and busted like sausages .Move it 5 foot then onto the next. "

Alright Walter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see how it can hurt. Nothing wrong with talking to someone. Too much stigma attached to counselling. Go for it if it'll help you feel better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's good to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im currently thinking of going to councilling just want to know if anyone has been and did it help ? i don't want to go into why i think i need it or why you did

Just curious to know if it helps x

I had counselling with a therapist arranged through my GP and it was the best thing i have ever done.

My counsellor helped me to see things more clearly, put things into perspective, make more sensible, thought out, informed decisions...

It helped me enormously.

This. Saves me from posting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes ........... it really really does help, I know from experience, and it was the best thing I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All depends hun

Did it help me, yes

Did it help my relationship, no

Did my husband ever benefit, never

Sorry"

As this poster succinctly put, but from a males perspective.

It also had a very draining effect on my bank account, £60 per session, every Saturday for a whole year plus some odd weekdays on top.

In the end, the only one who truly benefited was the therapist...by more than £3120

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are the type of person that can talk openly then yes it does help.

For me I'm too closed for it to benefit me, I can talk but not about myself and my feelings. X

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

all PTSD is real. and it's not a competition.

OP i found online help really good. i don't tend to open up to people unless i wanna open up at that time, so could imagine appointments for therapy being useless to me as i'd probably be sat there not knowing what to say as i might not be feeling anything.

just getting advice about why you feel the way you do and understanding yourself more with a little push from someone elses ideas was helpful for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im currently thinking of going to councilling just want to know if anyone has been and did it help ? i don't want to go into why i think i need it or why you did

Just curious to know if it helps x"

In my opinion, talking about an issue always helps. It's hard, don't get me wrong, but keeping stuff bottled up can lead to future issues. I recommend seeing your GP and asking what's available to you.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

It can be easier to talk to someone independent and objective.

It wont feel like theyre doing very much . But saying what youre thinking out loud might bring up surprises for you.

Theyll be on hand to help you clarify your ideas, why they make you feel the way they do and the impact they have on your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a child I went to therapy. As an adult I went after my separation.

I think it helped to talk to a professional. I also think you need to have a good support of family and Friends. People you can go to when you need to vent. Off load.

Good luck

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It depends upon the person, issue and type of therapy. Counseling pe rt se should largely provide a safe place for you to explore issues. Other therapies will have elements within them to help you change.

I think it's important to get the right therapy and therapist for you and your issues, partly influenced by what you want to get from the service.

I've had counseling and found it really helpful, including grief counseling.

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

Thank you all for your veiws on the post I really appreciate it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As many of the above have already said, it benefits many people but a few might not be ready to open up about their inner feelings.

The relationship you create with your counsellor is key to enable this to happen.

From experience many give up after a couple of sessions as it's often the hardest thing to do, open up yourself and divulge all those inner feelings and issues which for the most part you never talk about.

I have to say, I found after a few sessions I began to feel so relaxed with my counsellor that I told her things that I have never told anyone ever.

Mine was part of my course, I had to take personal counselling as well as learning it. I started off thinking there was no point as I felt fine and by week 4, one hour just wasn't long enough!

Give it time with someone, you need to build a rapport and trust with them.

If it still doesn't work for you, try another counsellor.

Plus remember there are different styles of counselling. One type might suit you better.

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Counseling is great, providing it's the right style, presented correctly, managed correctly and is fit for purpose.

There are many types of counseling, and some may not be suitable, within my profession, I've worked with more people damaged by inappropriate or incorrect counseling than I have with whom it has helped.

A good counsellor will chat with you and talk about what you feel you need from it, their method, style and aimed for outcome, and if there really with their salt, if they feel they don't have the right skills they will refer you to someone they feel does.

Make sure the practitioner is registered.

Good luck OP, hope it works out for you.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Hi op

I had interpersonal therapy which really helped me .My counsellor was fantastic ,deffo give it a go and good luck.

Miss

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

I have had two lots of sessions with a counsellor over the years...the first was ok but he was a bit wet and i felt as if i wasn't actually getting anywhere...second was amazing and she really helped me get things sorted and back on track...each person needs different things and they are by no means a magic wand but i always recommend them to people.

I am quite open that i have black dog days and have had friends thank me as they did not realise they were falling ill until after listening to me, and they have said talking to someone was such a help.

Stay strong & big hugs OP

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By *azza80Woman
over a year ago

Your wildest Dreams

[Removed by poster at 29/06/17 09:37:46]

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By *azza80Woman
over a year ago

Your wildest Dreams

I had counselling with a therapist arranged through my GP and it was the best thing i have ever done.

My counsellor helped me to see things more clearly, put things into perspective, make more sensible, thought out, informed decisions...

It helped me enormously.

This.. Totally agree x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tell Wally...

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

THANK YOU ALL xxxx and to all that message me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can help - it didn't help for me, neither did medication, so I went down the route of expressing myself in writing, mindfulness including adult colouring, and the healing of time.

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't see any negatives in counselling so nothing ventured nothing gained x

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yes it helped.

It can bring other issues up that you never realised you had which you can also talk about.

Don't be afraid of going to a counsellor, it's a good thing to open up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know several people who have been helped enormously by it.

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By *oungladMan
over a year ago

Burnham

My experience was that it definitly helped. As it didn't feel I had anyone to confide in, just the talking aspect in a non judgemental environment helped quite a bit. The advice on coping mechanisms and how to relax was reassuring and.

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

Thanks xx

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By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield

I have received counciling after my best friend passed away on my arms, it was the best thing I've ever done!

Whilst sorting the issues I went for a few others came to the surface, needless to say it changes my life for the better.

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

haven't read through the thread so appologies if it has been mentioned before- its great for lots of people if its the right time. don't get frustrated if it is not. and make sure its a good one you go to- check qualifications. and decide if you want a counsellor or a therapist. best of luck!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Im currently thinking of going to councilling just want to know if anyone has been and did it help ? i don't want to go into why i think i need it or why you did

Just curious to know if it helps x"

( soft voice - tilted head ..... and what is it that makes you curious ?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"It can help - it didn't help for me, neither did medication, so I went down the route of expressing myself in writing, mindfulness including adult colouring, and the healing of time.

Good luck OP

Some therapists will incorporate more than just talking within their approach, including things such as you've mentioned.

The biggest point I'd make is that amongst all of the different approaches, it's worth considering that there is counselling and then there are all the other types of psychotherapy. Counselling will largely not aim to change you, whereas some of the others will include support to help you change, towards the goals that you may have.

There are books, for example, that explain the many therapies out there, allowing you to potentially feel which ones are more suited to you.

If I was going to have therapy again, I'd find the right therapy type and then the right therapist who uses that style.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It isnt a marriage issue its trauma from an injury x thank you both x"

I have had good and bad experiences of counselling/talking therapies. You have to be ready to engage and find one that suits you. It took a while for me to fully engage with psychodynamic therapy but that worked for me.

I have heard good results for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma. Two people I know swear by it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/17 22:18:33]

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By *rincessvenusCouple
over a year ago

Hull

all counciling is free at your gp just ask or you can self refer at your local councilits free for as long as it takes

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

If anyone wants to pm

Me id be grateful x

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"It isnt a marriage issue its trauma from an injury x thank you both x

I have heard good results for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma. Two people I know swear by it.

Yes I've had it and the difference just in one session was amazing. However I also know another lady who is supposedly having it but she's been going a year - hmmm, EMDR is a rapid therapy based on brain processing so shouldn't need much more than 6 sessions if that. Definitely worth trying, you'll know quickly if it's for you.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It isnt a marriage issue its trauma from an injury x thank you both x

I have heard good results for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) for trauma. Two people I know swear by it.

The two people I know were done within 6 sessions but one has mentioned that she is considering going for a top up session, which is about a year or so since she had EMDR.

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By *hispers-40 OP Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

Thought i was doing well with coping but after nighmares and today another panic attack out the blue think I really need to try something I really thought i was coping with it it was out the blue I panic stated shaking and burst into tears took me a good two hours to calm down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id suggest this is the last place for the op to mention this

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