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Funniest thing you heard today

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I asked my colleague does he know the population of London. He said he doesn't even have a rough idea.

I said it's around 11 million (metropolitan, it's actually 13).

The he said how can it be 11 million if UK has only 7 million population...

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

my next door neighbours arguing escalated to it's peak today. it's only funny coz it makes my shit life seem awesome in comparison.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I asked my colleague does he know the population of London. He said he doesn't even have a rough idea.

I said it's around 11 million (metropolitan, it's actually 13).

The he said how can it be 11 million if UK has only 7 million population... "

It's all those illegal immigrants!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I asked my colleague does he know the population of London. He said he doesn't even have a rough idea.

I said it's around 11 million (metropolitan, it's actually 13).

The he said how can it be 11 million if UK has only 7 million population...

It's all those illegal immigrants!! "

He's British

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm bit dumb is there really 11 million in London?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

The boy child told me there was less sugar in a smaller bottle of Coca Cola.

Made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm bit dumb is there really 11 million in London? "

11 million sounds right… if you've ever used the tube in the morning haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm bit dumb is there really 11 million in London? "

Greater London population is 8.5m

Urban is 9.7m

Metropolitan is 13.4m I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nine year old screaming that a tonne of water is heavier than a tonne of feathers! He got all worked up and told me the feathers must be lighter because birds fly and rain falls from the sky!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My nine year old screaming that a tonne of water is heavier than a tonne of feathers! He got all worked up and told me the feathers must be lighter because birds fly and rain falls from the sky! "

Haha old one but a good one

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By *aura66Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

My 11 year old daughter asked me .

" does it hurt when you have sex for the first time?"

"It will do" said I

" but after about 10 minutes you start to enjoy yourself?" She said ...

Errrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The boy child told me there was less sugar in a smaller bottle of Coca Cola.

Made me chuckle "

If the smaller bottle had less ml then technically he's correct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I asked my colleague does he know the population of London. He said he doesn't even have a rough idea.

I said it's around 11 million (metropolitan, it's actually 13).

The he said how can it be 11 million if UK has only 7 million population... "

You had a crap day then op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm bit dumb is there really 11 million in London?

Greater London population is 8.5m

Urban is 9.7m

Metropolitan is 13.4m I think."

Whoa that's a lot

Funniest thing I heard after spending couple hundred euro on kids was my little fella telling me I'd enough money spent when I went to but myself something

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"The boy child told me there was less sugar in a smaller bottle of Coca Cola.

Made me chuckle

If the smaller bottle had less ml then technically he's correct "

But it's the same recipe. The amount of sugar would still be the same. It's only the amount of fluid that changes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I asked my colleague does he know the population of London. He said he doesn't even have a rough idea.

I said it's around 11 million (metropolitan, it's actually 13).

The he said how can it be 11 million if UK has only 7 million population...

You had a crap day then op? "

It was lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Elderly lady let out a fart at the surgery, tried to cover up with "sorry that's just my arthritis back joint clicking"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The boy child told me there was less sugar in a smaller bottle of Coca Cola.

Made me chuckle

If the smaller bottle had less ml then technically he's correct

But it's the same recipe. The amount of sugar would still be the same. It's only the amount of fluid that changes. "

Yes but there would be less sugar if there is less fluid.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"The boy child told me there was less sugar in a smaller bottle of Coca Cola.

Made me chuckle

If the smaller bottle had less ml then technically he's correct

But it's the same recipe. The amount of sugar would still be the same. It's only the amount of fluid that changes.

Yes but there would be less sugar if there is less fluid. "

True

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"Elderly lady let out a fart at the surgery, tried to cover up with "sorry that's just my arthritis back joint clicking" "

*remembers this excuse for myself*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Elderly lady let out a fart at the surgery, tried to cover up with "sorry that's just my arthritis back joint clicking"

*remembers this excuse for myself*"

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Elderly lady let out a fart at the surgery, tried to cover up with "sorry that's just my arthritis back joint clicking" "

Some girl I work with never stops but blames it on the auld ones in the bed

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By *haverMan
over a year ago

bracknell


"My nine year old screaming that a tonne of water is heavier than a tonne of feathers! He got all worked up and told me the feathers must be lighter because birds fly and rain falls from the sky! "

Nothing is lighter than a ton of unicorn shit

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By *haverMan
over a year ago

bracknell


"Elderly lady let out a fart at the surgery, tried to cover up with "sorry that's just my arthritis back joint clicking" "

Since when was her backbone in her arse ,that old lady got some real shit going on , funny though ,my jaws been clicking latley

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Not today but about two days ago my son told me he had been bitten byba tick and now has lemons disease

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

yesterday- young boy in a shop to his father- it feels like I have been seven forever!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"yesterday- young boy in a shop to his father- it feels like I have been seven forever! "

I've literally just said to someone they've been 22 for forever

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"yesterday- young boy in a shop to his father- it feels like I have been seven forever!

I've literally just said to someone they've been 22 for forever "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was in B&Q and this bloke in a black uniform come up to me and said "hey you want decking?" Well I managed to get the first punch in, but others might not be so lucky. Be on your guard people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm bit dumb is there really 11 million in London?

11 million sounds right… if you've ever used the tube in the morning haha "

That made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My nine year old screaming that a tonne of water is heavier than a tonne of feathers! He got all worked up and told me the feathers must be lighter because birds fly and rain falls from the sky!

Nothing is lighter than a ton of unicorn shit "

Half would be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been talking to women I met else where , she's been married to another woman and not been with a man for over 10 years. Now she wants to go with a guy again, so I asked her how she sees herself, bi , gay, straight. And her reply was I'm greedy. Made me laugh ??.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An ex asked me how a train driver steered the train. (Essex bird!)

I was outside kfc in Exeter last weekend and a smartly dressed couple walked out with the male half saying 'that's the wedding meal done, now for the honeymoon'.

After I stopped laughing I thought, maybe he's taking her to a premier inn.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics


"Was in B&Q and this bloke in a black uniform come up to me and said "hey you want decking?" Well I managed to get the first punch in, but others might not be so lucky. Be on your guard people "

Let be that

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