FabSwingers.com forum: Anyone else on fab a carer for disabled parents?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I find myself in this very challenging role, havingnhad had my son go to university and now caring for.my disabled parents. This site certainly has given me some escapism! I have had to cut back on work hours too - all very stressful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a difficult time and situation.

Been there a while, happy to listen or help if needed

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By *hips n FursMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

I moved in with my elderly father (86). A promise I made to my mum before she past away. Got to keep a eye on the old boy. Hence I can't accommodate which some people don't seem to understand on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find myself in this very challenging role, havingnhad had my son go to university and now caring for.my disabled parents. This site certainly has given me some escapism! I have had to cut back on work hours too - all very stressful!"

Yes. Fab has given me a place to switch off and have some occasional fun.

I'm living with my olds for now as it's most practical then when you can't accommodate you get accused of being a cheater ect, People have no idea!

I don't mention it on here normally as "carer" brings up images of wiping bums ect and not exactly sexy.

For the record I've never wiped anyone's bum other than my own but respect to those who have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not parents but my 2 young adult sons. It does make life more complicated than I would like but I don't have a choice, fan is my escape and true that people don't understand that you can't accom x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not alone op.

I have my dad living with me. He has cerebral brain damage and peripheral nerve damage and is an alcoholic.

I hope you have a care package to assist you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't do personal care as yet but it may well come to that. However I do see fab as a means of escapism and agree that caring can be hard work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't do personal care as yet but it may well come to that. However I do see fab as a means of escapism and agree that caring can be hard work"

Doing personal care for your own parents requires a changing of mental attitude. Not sure if that's quite how I mean that.

It's not easy anyhow.

We have private careers as my dad has some savings post the sale of a low value house.

We did use agency initially but there is rarely consistency of the care received.

The visits are unpredictable and often he didn't get them at all. Different people all the time, which is confusing especially with the initial signs of dementia.

It's also very expensive. We were paying £18, for a half hour, I think. That often was only ten or fifteen minutes though.

Now we pay directly to self employed carers. They are pretty much always on time and he knows and likes them.

They charge ten pounds an hour and they stay for the time allocated as they aren't under crazy pressure to get to the next client.

Dad gets much better care now and much more of it.

I do the care every other weekend so the carers get a break and go in every evening to see him.

We are also there in an instant if he has an accident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not for parents but I am a full time carer for my son..

these days I must admit I use fab more as a means of escape rather than a place to meet people....

I'm just here for the craic

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Keeping an eye on old man...

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

There are quite a few of us on fab who are carers for elderly parents.

I moved back in with mine 3 1/2 years ago. My dad had heart and lung problems and my mum has MS. I care for both of them to some extent but mostly for my mum, helping with washing, dressing, catheters etc.

For me fab is sometimes a form of escapism but more often it is just a place to have fun. I would still be here whether i was a carer or not. The only difference being I might have more time to meet if I wasn't caring.

I do mention on my profile that I am a live in carer and can't accommodate. It helps stop people making assumptions about why.

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By *aterjetWoman
over a year ago

South West

Not for parents but I am a carer for a family member.

Totally get the need for escapism.

Fab is there when you need to release the huge pressures of emotions that comes with the responsibilities of being a carer.

Sending all the wonderful people a hug and just remember you are not alone. xxx

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

My mother has a mental illness and lives with me, she's not elderly and outwardly she looks fine, alot of people assume that she doesn't need care because she's physically OK, mostly.

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By *ild PhoenixMan
over a year ago

London

Hello, I am disabled from 9 years and I do feel with you because disabled people require alot of time.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

2 my sons require extra care & support.

One is now at residential school Mon to Fri, thought things would get easier, but youngest seems to have managed to fill the hours.

Life is never dull here!

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By *ild PhoenixMan
over a year ago

London

"2 my sons require extra care & support.

One is now at residential school Mon to Fri, thought things would get easier, but youngest seems to have managed to fill the hours.

Life is never dull here! "

Am sorry for what you are passing through but am sure that when you see their smile you forgot all your pain.

Maz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

back living with my mum as she needs me after what shes been through and with work i don't get much sleep, Will be here for my mum for as long as she needs me no matter how hard it becomes. As shes always been there for me and made me the person i am today, she's my wee bestie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carer for my daughter who is disabled with severe learning difficulties, one of the reasons I don't accommodate. Fab is an escape and I,'ve had fun whilst she's in school. XXX

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