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A controversial question....sexless relationships

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am curious....and I do know/expect this topic to be somewhat controversial...

Would you say that a couple (married or not, but together a decade or so) both in their 30's with no medical issues or whatever to make sex difficult who have sex very infrequently (approx once a month, some months not at all) can say that they are still "in-love".

There is allegedly plenty of kissing and cuddles, but no sex which I find a little inc_edulous to be honest!!

To me if they are able to, but the desire is no longer there,for whatever reason, there is a massive, fundamental problem with the marriage/relationship?!

Your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes couples become to content and end up more friends but still in love it's not uncommon IMO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pep it up....experiment new things as the same old....or some would say same hole can become a little boring....just my view

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think relationships go through cycles. Affection, without sex, may be what they need right now.

Or, they have deep resentments that they're not discussing but still love each other and are holding on.

You never know as it's their relationship.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."

Absolutely.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"Sometimes couples become too content and end up more friends but still in love it's not uncommon IMO. "

I agree with this. Plus if there are children involved it can be tiring if they don't get help from family, so they can get a weekend away or whatever.

Could be loads of reasons but they would still love each other

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I was in a relationship where there was amazing sex but the love had gone...I look back and think I would of much rather the love than the sex

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

They might well be. Some people just don't have a great sex drive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me a relationship has to experience some sexual intercourse, the frequency of it is just about the needs of people, like tastes and colour i would say. But, myself, i know it would be very for to consider a relationship without sex, i gotta precise that i never met the love of my life yet, because who knows, very strong feelings may change the perception of a whole thing.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother? "

For some, they know they can get sex elsewhere but you can't get love that easily.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just wanted to add that the male in the scenario works abroad for long periods of time. Therefore you would expect that when he returns, that they would want to enjoy one another....but that isn't the case.

Allegedly the female doesn't want it anymore frequently now than when the male was home, but he does??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother? "

id agree but everyone's different,,i really cant be judging on this matter tbh,,not been there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a very common occurrence and this is why people end on here and end up having secret affairs.

Man and woman are not expected to stay together forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol,,loveless sex though,,hmmm on a swingers site,,pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably the wrong site for this for this statement but sex isn't everything in life. Personally speaking I do miss sex but no way as much as just the intimate pleasure of company, kissing, cuddling that aspect of intimacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication is the answer to every problem to avoid fights and disappointment in any relations.

Pe-fucking-riod

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother? "

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true."

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true."

They have children and he has had a vasectomy.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

"

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, maybe him being away for work actually means she needs the affection more than the sex. She might need it to reconnect to get to the point of wanting sex and then he's gone again. She's also left looking after the children on her own when he's working.

Why does it bother you so much?

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

They have children and he has had a vasectomy. "

well ignore my fertile people thing then.

and there you have it...kids. some people can't have a lot of sex when they have them. well you can but some people don't like to. she might even not want sex coz he can't fertilise her and doesn't see the point? honestly, all kinds of things can put people off sex. it's not always an issue and doesn't mean there's no love.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex."

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me"

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

They have children and he has had a vasectomy.

well ignore my fertile people thing then.

and there you have it...kids. some people can't have a lot of sex when they have them. well you can but some people don't like to. she might even not want sex coz he can't fertilise her and doesn't see the point? honestly, all kinds of things can put people off sex. it's not always an issue and doesn't mean there's no love.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves."

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

They have children and he has had a vasectomy.

well ignore my fertile people thing then.

and there you have it...kids. some people can't have a lot of sex when they have them. well you can but some people don't like to. she might even not want sex coz he can't fertilise her and doesn't see the point? honestly, all kinds of things can put people off sex. it's not always an issue and doesn't mean there's no love.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it."

And he's confiding in you? That's an issue in itself.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it."

that's a shame. it's good that he's not pushy and doesn't resent her for it. has he not brought it up at all? she might want more sex but thinks he doesn't or not sure how to approach him any more as it's so infrequent now.

ignore all the excuses i gave earlier as well, like i said i'm ti_ed and my brain is in automatic overdrive lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other."

lol,,its cool,,hey each to their own,,no one can judge

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it.

that's a shame. it's good that he's not pushy and doesn't resent her for it. has he not brought it up at all? she might want more sex but thinks he doesn't or not sure how to approach him any more as it's so infrequent now.

ignore all the excuses i gave earlier as well, like i said i'm ti_ed and my brain is in automatic overdrive lol."

I think that he has tried to communicate with her about it and she refuses to discuss it, Just simply says "I don't need/want it"

I also find it very strange that they appear not to have any sexual intimacy or variety, for example, she will rarely do oral (on him) because "she doesn't like it"??

So I think that on the rare occasion that they do get intimate, it's just boring, straightforward sex with no 'play' included.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/06/17 01:50:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other.

lol,,its cool,,hey each to their own,,no one can judge"

So I'll take it your not planning on getting pregnant at the moment Mikki

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it.

that's a shame. it's good that he's not pushy and doesn't resent her for it. has he not brought it up at all? she might want more sex but thinks he doesn't or not sure how to approach him any more as it's so infrequent now.

ignore all the excuses i gave earlier as well, like i said i'm ti_ed and my brain is in automatic overdrive lol.

I think that he has tried to communicate with her about it and she refuses to discuss it, Just simply says "I don't need/want it" I also find it very strange that they appear not to have any sexual intimacy or variety, for example, she will rarely do oral (on him) because "she doesn't like it"??

So I think that on the rare occasion that they do get intimate, it's just boring, straightforward sex with no 'play' included. "

I'll refer you back to my first post

thumb)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other.

lol,,its cool,,hey each to their own,,no one can judge

So I'll take it your not planning on getting pregnant at the moment Mikki "

lol,,nooooooooooooo fucking way,,and ruin this figure,,are ya mental

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other.

lol,,its cool,,hey each to their own,,no one can judge

So I'll take it your not planning on getting pregnant at the moment Mikki "

Was the pregnancy question aimed at me??!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other.

lol,,its cool,,hey each to their own,,no one can judge

So I'll take it your not planning on getting pregnant at the moment Mikki

Was the pregnancy question aimed at me??!!! Lol"

no,,im MIKKI,,,,not you I'm a size10 and intend staying that way

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it.

that's a shame. it's good that he's not pushy and doesn't resent her for it. has he not brought it up at all? she might want more sex but thinks he doesn't or not sure how to approach him any more as it's so infrequent now.

ignore all the excuses i gave earlier as well, like i said i'm ti_ed and my brain is in automatic overdrive lol.

I think that he has tried to communicate with her about it and she refuses to discuss it, Just simply says "I don't need/want it"

I also find it very strange that they appear not to have any sexual intimacy or variety, for example, she will rarely do oral (on him) because "she doesn't like it"??

So I think that on the rare occasion that they do get intimate, it's just boring, straightforward sex with no 'play' included. "

is he uses these as excuses to use other women for sex?

tbh i'm not into cheating, heard loads of excuses why people do it, seen the hurt it can cause, felt it myself, feel only immature people do it, they always have an excuse for it, they never have a good enough excuse though just some shit one that shows how incompetent they are at caring about someone other than themselves...i'm the worst person to validate anyones reason for cheating if you;re looking for that?

but i was interested in love and what you asked of that. and i believe love is not hurting someone else, it's putting someone else before yourself when able to. and if you can hurt people you claim to love then you're not a good prospect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

only to breed,,,are you really bein serious

i'm ti_ed and trying to conserve energy here. you know what i mean by that. if fertile people don't want kids/more kids they can go off having sex.

eh no I don't understand that in any shape or form,,lots of people fuck like rabbits with no intention or thought of ever having children.

SEX has never ever been about breeding,,lol,,for me

i know, i'm not catholic or anything but psychologically and physiologically there are some fundamental ideas about why we fuck and why our bodies and brains act around everything to do with sex.

doesn't even make sense i'm making excuses though coz it could be anything really. you'd have to ask the people involved why they don't wanna fuck each other.

lol,,its cool,,hey each to their own,,no one can judge

So I'll take it your not planning on getting pregnant at the moment Mikki

Was the pregnancy question aimed at me??!!! Lol

no,,im MIKKI,,,,not you I'm a size10 and intend staying that way "

Good for you....i am curvy and ok with that. Overall happy with my body given my age and a child.

I intend to stay this way as well and definitely no children, too old and I am unable to anyway!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it.

that's a shame. it's good that he's not pushy and doesn't resent her for it. has he not brought it up at all? she might want more sex but thinks he doesn't or not sure how to approach him any more as it's so infrequent now.

ignore all the excuses i gave earlier as well, like i said i'm ti_ed and my brain is in automatic overdrive lol.

I think that he has tried to communicate with her about it and she refuses to discuss it, Just simply says "I don't need/want it"

I also find it very strange that they appear not to have any sexual intimacy or variety, for example, she will rarely do oral (on him) because "she doesn't like it"??

So I think that on the rare occasion that they do get intimate, it's just boring, straightforward sex with no 'play' included.

is he uses these as excuses to use other women for sex?

tbh i'm not into cheating, heard loads of excuses why people do it, seen the hurt it can cause, felt it myself, feel only immature people do it, they always have an excuse for it, they never have a good enough excuse though just some shit one that shows how incompetent they are at caring about someone other than themselves...i'm the worst person to validate anyones reason for cheating if you;re looking for that?

but i was interested in love and what you asked of that. and i believe love is not hurting someone else, it's putting someone else before yourself when able to. and if you can hurt people you claim to love then you're not a good prospect."

Totally and absolutely agree 100% with the last sentence 3some

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it.

that's a shame. it's good that he's not pushy and doesn't resent her for it. has he not brought it up at all? she might want more sex but thinks he doesn't or not sure how to approach him any more as it's so infrequent now.

ignore all the excuses i gave earlier as well, like i said i'm ti_ed and my brain is in automatic overdrive lol.

I think that he has tried to communicate with her about it and she refuses to discuss it, Just simply says "I don't need/want it"

I also find it very strange that they appear not to have any sexual intimacy or variety, for example, she will rarely do oral (on him) because "she doesn't like it"??

So I think that on the rare occasion that they do get intimate, it's just boring, straightforward sex with no 'play' included.

is he uses these as excuses to use other women for sex?

tbh i'm not into cheating, heard loads of excuses why people do it, seen the hurt it can cause, felt it myself, feel only immature people do it, they always have an excuse for it, they never have a good enough excuse though just some shit one that shows how incompetent they are at caring about someone other than themselves...i'm the worst person to validate anyones reason for cheating if you;re looking for that?

but i was interested in love and what you asked of that. and i believe love is not hurting someone else, it's putting someone else before yourself when able to. and if you can hurt people you claim to love then you're not a good prospect.

Totally and absolutely agree 100% with the last sentence 3some

"

good luck with it all anyway.

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

OP I assume the male is cheating with said wife with you and justifying the reason? Now you are trying to justify it ? That's how it's come across to me.

Do you challenge him when he tells you he tries to talk about it but she won't by saying what type of talking is this? Why not face up to her and say we either talk about it or I'm leaving? How is he showing her that this is serious stuff??? I ask that of a lot of cheaters I come across..How much love is there if you can't face the person and say "I'm struggling, in unhappy, I'm having urges to cheat, we need to sort this somehow"..

Why does loving someone only have to happen when you are tied together by a paper or label? Why can't you have respect for the person, seperate, and still love them? Divorcing amicably and staying loving friends is not impossible!! It's all down to the unhappy party to really bring the issue to the forefront and DEAL with it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OP I assume the male is cheating with said wife with you and justifying the reason? Now you are trying to justify it ? That's how it's come across to me.

Do you challenge him when he tells you he tries to talk about it but she won't by saying what type of talking is this? Why not face up to her and say we either talk about it or I'm leaving? How is he showing her that this is serious stuff??? I ask that of a lot of cheaters I come across..How much love is there if you can't face the person and say "I'm struggling, in unhappy, I'm having urges to cheat, we need to sort this somehow"..

Why does loving someone only have to happen when you are tied together by a paper or label? Why can't you have respect for the person, seperate, and still love them? Divorcing amicably and staying loving friends is not impossible!! It's all down to the unhappy party to really bring the issue to the forefront and DEAL with it!

"

No I am not with him, nor have we really ever been. We talk/chat a lot and have met on previous occasions, but don't anymore for a variety of reasons.

It's very complicated.

He says that they are "in love" and kiss and cuddle regularly, but she doesn't want sex which he is dis-satisfied with.

On the occasion that he has tried to talk she merely says "I don't want it" and that is it.

He also says that he would never leave because apart from the sex, they are happy.

He has cheated with many people (some from fab, but other sites as well) over a period of 4 years before i even met him.

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham


"OP I assume the male is cheating with said wife with you and justifying the reason? Now you are trying to justify it ? That's how it's come across to me.

Do you challenge him when he tells you he tries to talk about it but she won't by saying what type of talking is this? Why not face up to her and say we either talk about it or I'm leaving? How is he showing her that this is serious stuff??? I ask that of a lot of cheaters I come across..How much love is there if you can't face the person and say "I'm struggling, in unhappy, I'm having urges to cheat, we need to sort this somehow"..

Why does loving someone only have to happen when you are tied together by a paper or label? Why can't you have respect for the person, seperate, and still love them? Divorcing amicably and staying loving friends is not impossible!! It's all down to the unhappy party to really bring the issue to the forefront and DEAL with it!

No I am not with him, nor have we really ever been. We talk/chat a lot and have met on previous occasions, but don't anymore for a variety of reasons.

It's very complicated.

He says that they are "in love" and kiss and cuddle regularly, but she doesn't want sex which he is dis-satisfied with.

On the occasion that he has tried to talk she merely says "I don't want it" and that is it.

He also says that he would never leave because apart from the sex, they are happy.

He has cheated with many people (some from fab, but other sites as well) over a period of 4 years before i even met him. "

A couple of months a go I caught out a cheater- unfortunately on this occasion we had fucked a few times before I worked it out! The bastard had the audacity to bring me into their home while she popped to the gym- I found his partner and outed him to her. Over coffee, I asked her "how's your sex life?" She said it was not good and barely exists however HE doesn't want it. She has tried to talk to him about it and he says "I just don't want it", she said she has to beg for it and is lucky to get it once a month. Meanwhile he was on fab fucking left right and center. Point is, take what he says with a pinch of salt.. Cheaters are crafty.

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my lord the quoting thing's getting crazy lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP I assume the male is cheating with said wife with you and justifying the reason? Now you are trying to justify it ? That's how it's come across to me.

Do you challenge him when he tells you he tries to talk about it but she won't by saying what type of talking is this? Why not face up to her and say we either talk about it or I'm leaving? How is he showing her that this is serious stuff??? I ask that of a lot of cheaters I come across..How much love is there if you can't face the person and say "I'm struggling, in unhappy, I'm having urges to cheat, we need to sort this somehow"..

Why does loving someone only have to happen when you are tied together by a paper or label? Why can't you have respect for the person, seperate, and still love them? Divorcing amicably and staying loving friends is not impossible!! It's all down to the unhappy party to really bring the issue to the forefront and DEAL with it!

No I am not with him, nor have we really ever been. We talk/chat a lot and have met on previous occasions, but don't anymore for a variety of reasons.

It's very complicated.

He says that they are "in love" and kiss and cuddle regularly, but she doesn't want sex which he is dis-satisfied with.

On the occasion that he has tried to talk she merely says "I don't want it" and that is it.

He also says that he would never leave because apart from the sex, they are happy.

He has cheated with many people (some from fab, but other sites as well) over a period of 4 years before i even met him.

A couple of months a go I caught out a cheater- unfortunately on this occasion we had fucked a few times before I worked it out! The bastard had the audacity to bring me into their home while she popped to the gym- I found his partner and outed him to her. Over coffee, I asked her "how's your sex life?" She said it was not good and barely exists however HE doesn't want it. She has tried to talk to him about it and he says "I just don't want it", she said she has to beg for it and is lucky to get it once a month. Meanwhile he was on fab fucking left right and center. Point is, take what he says with a pinch of salt.. Cheaters are crafty. "

Sorry but how did you end up drinking coffee with her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a high sex drive. But he still loves me

But once in a while I go crazy; I think he loves me more then

I don't know about a completely sexless relationship but I do know that ours works even though there is a huge disparity in our sex drives

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. No. Maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some folk have differing sex drives.

Are you trying to find out why this man won't leave this woman? Who he claims to love but has no sex with?

When he could, if he did leave, have you? You have spoken of the connection you have had previously i recall.

You'll drive yourself mad wondering about that.

The man is not honourable. Leave him to his games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmm i wouldn't be torturing myself with this op. Leave him alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marriage isn't just about a healthy sexual relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes love and sex aren't the same thing. You can definitely have one without the other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."
Strongly agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are different types of sexless relationships.

There are those where one partner has lost their libido but is still a loving, caring partner. Sometimes people grow apart and lose their desire for each other, Monogamy is tough, hence the explosion of this type of site.

Life is far too short to not be able to do what you need to do in order to function as human being

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me personally, in the absence of medical issues, not wanting to have sex with my partner would indicate that there are relationship issues which need to be resolved.

I can't answer for others, but to me, a healthy sex life is part and parcel of a loving relationship, lying, cheating, and an inability to communicate aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes couples become too content and end up more friends but still in love it's not uncommon IMO.

I agree with this. Plus if there are children involved it can be tiring if they don't get help from family, so they can get a weekend away or whatever.

Could be loads of reasons but they would still love each other "
RESPECT... children should be paramount in such relationship especially if they're under 16. They look to their parents to provide stability and certainty in their lives. The sex can always be outsourced to a 3rd party .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother?

to you, and others, maybe for but intimacy and affection come in many other forms without a need for sex also.

i've been in mostly highly sexual relationships, it's ideal as i love sex.

but i've also been in a one relationship where we hardly had sex and i felt loved also without any problems.

desire is only needed to objectify a person. this is one of the reasons why sex often does peter out in relationships as they objectify each other less and get to know each other as a person and different types of intimacy creep in.

sex is really only needed to breed also, it's the main reason why we have urges for sex. if they don't want any kids or any more kids they've no need for sex either. i know that sounds a bit basic but sometimes it's true.

They have children and he has had a vasectomy.

well ignore my fertile people thing then.

and there you have it...kids. some people can't have a lot of sex when they have them. well you can but some people don't like to. she might even not want sex coz he can't fertilise her and doesn't see the point? honestly, all kinds of things can put people off sex. it's not always an issue and doesn't mean there's no love.

if he says he doesn't feel loved then there's a problem. and if either of them wants more sex then there's a problem. biggest problem if neither of them sort each it out between themselves.

He wants sex frequently, the female doesn't. I also get the feeling that she is pretty vanilla and he isn't so it's just straightforward sex which doesn't really satisfy him because he needs 'other' things and some more variety.

He seems to be dis-satisfied that she only wants sex once or so a month when he is home, but doesn't want to push the issue and just accepts it."

Maybe it's time for the sex to be outsourced to a 3rd party??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you can't judge someone until you've walked I their shoes? Not saying your judging but do you get what I mean? What's right for you is not right for me, if he has issues with it he needs to speak to the wife and try and resolve it that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."

I'd love a sexless relationship. Sex causes far too many resentments and issues.

As long as both people are happy it doesn't matter what other people think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this is the same man you've started posts on before?

There are usually three sides to a story, in this case his side, her side and the truth. He's an habitual cheater so will say what he feels necessary to get what he wants.

But assuming there is an element of truth to the story, all long term relationships will have their peaks and troughs of sexual activity, frequently leaving the country for work puts a huge burden on the one left behind, I don't think you are ever going to really understand what goes on in anyone else's relationship.

One thing I question (more generally), is why are there so many cheating spouses who claim that their other half have never been adventurous or had a high sex drive, if it was that important to them why get married in the first place. Would you really connect with someone so deeply, enough to marry them if you were such a mis-match sexually?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP I assume the male is cheating with said wife with you and justifying the reason? Now you are trying to justify it ? That's how it's come across to me.

Do you challenge him when he tells you he tries to talk about it but she won't by saying what type of talking is this? Why not face up to her and say we either talk about it or I'm leaving? How is he showing her that this is serious stuff??? I ask that of a lot of cheaters I come across..How much love is there if you can't face the person and say "I'm struggling, in unhappy, I'm having urges to cheat, we need to sort this somehow"..

Why does loving someone only have to happen when you are tied together by a paper or label? Why can't you have respect for the person, seperate, and still love them? Divorcing amicably and staying loving friends is not impossible!! It's all down to the unhappy party to really bring the issue to the forefront and DEAL with it!

No I am not with him, nor have we really ever been. We talk/chat a lot and have met on previous occasions, but don't anymore for a variety of reasons.

It's very complicated.

He says that they are "in love" and kiss and cuddle regularly, but she doesn't want sex which he is dis-satisfied with.

On the occasion that he has tried to talk she merely says "I don't want it" and that is it.

He also says that he would never leave because apart from the sex, they are happy.

He has cheated with many people (some from fab, but other sites as well) over a period of 4 years before i even met him. "

Sounds to work fine for them both. No need to fix anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this is the same man you've started posts on before?

There are usually three sides to a story, in this case his side, her side and the truth. He's an habitual cheater so will say what he feels necessary to get what he wants.

But assuming there is an element of truth to the story, all long term relationships will have their peaks and troughs of sexual activity, frequently leaving the country for work puts a huge burden on the one left behind, I don't think you are ever going to really understand what goes on in anyone else's relationship.

One thing I question (more generally), is why are there so many cheating spouses who claim that their other half have never been adventurous or had a high sex drive, if it was that important to them why get married in the first place. Would you really connect with someone so deeply, enough to marry them if you were such a mis-match sexually?"

Seems to me that it may not be sex itself they have lost interest in, but sex with their spouse....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

One thing I question (more generally), is why are there so many cheating spouses who claim that their other half have never been adventurous or had a high sex drive, if it was that important to them why get married in the first place. Would you really connect with someone so deeply, enough to marry them if you were such a mis-match sexually?"

I did a thread on this exact question a few weeks ago. I don't understand it either. Why would a very sexual person be with someone they know right from the start isn't open sexually.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"For me personally, in the absence of medical issues, not wanting to have sex with my partner would indicate that there are relationship issues which need to be resolved.

I can't answer for others, but to me, a healthy sex life is part and parcel of a loving relationship, lying, cheating, and an inability to communicate aren't."

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."

This.

If I may add too...

That sex is only a piece of the relationship puzzle. Some relationships don't have sex at all and are very fufilling, many would say far more fulfilling. Testify many who have sex on here...It can be and is very shallow....its just an act and for most has no other meaning than self gratification. This can be said in some relationships that have sex but nothing else, less fulfilling than good love and companionship. There's a few people I love but don't have sex with them and I don't think if I did that it would enhance the present relationship one little bit. Some relationships are lucky to have all the components in it and they are very very special.

I think OP that your assumption leaves out far to many issues that many of us do not understand unless were walking in their shoes. Not everyone's needs are being met in sex or in a sex less relationship either.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"...

One thing I question (more generally), is why are there so many cheating spouses who claim that their other half have never been adventurous or had a high sex drive, if it was that important to them why get married in the first place. Would you really connect with someone so deeply, enough to marry them if you were such a mis-match sexually?

I did a thread on this exact question a few weeks ago. I don't understand it either. Why would a very sexual person be with someone they know right from the start isn't open sexually. "

As a man i would anecdotally tell you that from my circle of friends the most common reasons for getting married were #1 inertia and #2 the girl was well liked by his parents and they pressu_ed him to marry her. Neither of those reasons are going to lead to a great sex life. I've mentioned this to engaged friends and been told "sex isn't that important". 3 years later and they have the gold membership card at the local whore house.

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By *ecretEscapes2Woman
over a year ago

worcester

I'm only commenting so I can read all this later .

Sexless marriages can be damn frustrating!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone who is looking just for sex missing in his/her relationship would most likely try to find a regular play partner in the same situation (or not). I noticed many profiles say so, followed by a list of verifications, which is contradictive.

I've got the feeling that if you had a chance to question the female partner she would have a different version. Just my gut feeling (and experience).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes couples become to content and end up more friends but still in love it's not uncommon IMO. "
its very common I know a lot like this and happy. To them the sex is just a small part of life and they like other things better.

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham


"Sometimes couples become to content and end up more friends but still in love it's not uncommon IMO. its very common I know a lot like this and happy. To them the sex is just a small part of life and they like other things better."

That's fine. There is no rule about how much sex makes a good content relationship. However, when one ends up cheating it's clearly not working anymore..

And I still don't get how someone can just accept "I don't want to talk about it" from a partner?? Why not respond with "well if we don't I'm thinking of going elsewhere" and then see if discussion starts. You can't just make a small feeble attempt and then rush to cheat.

If the unsatisfied party doesn't make a genuine attempt to discuss this and work it out, I would

Suspect their intention was to cheat all along..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."
.

.

I nominate you as my official spokesperson

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem..

.

I nominate you as my official spokesperson "

lol, carry on reading. get to the rambling on parts, then decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem..

.

I nominate you as my official spokesperson

lol, carry on reading. get to the rambling on parts, then decide. "
.

I love rambling

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem..

.

I nominate you as my official spokesperson

lol, carry on reading. get to the rambling on parts, then decide. .

I love rambling "

sorted.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem.

I agree that sex isn't the be all and end all, but, to me it's a massively important part and an essential part of the 'cement' that helps to hold the relationship together....

In my opinion, If they don't desire one-another anymore or want to demonstrate their love/affection or whatever, why bother? "

Totally agree with you .

It's all very well to say there's more to love than sex , but one can love ones dog or cat , or ones friends and family without sex quite comfortably . But in a relationship , sex is the one thing that differentiates that relationship from all others .

May as well just be friends imo .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are asexual and have no sex at all yet still very much love their partner.

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral


"course they can be. love is more than sex, way more.

in fact, if sex is the only thing holding a relationship together i'd say that's a bigger problem."
Yes very true

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that if a marriage works and everyone in it is more or less happy its nobody elses business.

I don't think we should expect other people to conform to our idea of a good marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been in that situation - the (now ex) wife had no interest in sex. Tried everything to re-ignite things. But she just kept saying that it wasn't me, it was her issue. Ended up just being to people co-habiting in a house bringing up kids.

Then in the end she decided that I was no longer require.

No one was having an affair - but i disagree with some of the posts above as for me sex is very much part of being in a proper relationship - it's that level of intimacy that differentiates it from just being friends etc

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It must be very difficult if one person wants a relationship to continue to be sexual and the other doesn't.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Can still love each other for sure. Only they will know if they're satisfied and happy

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By *evonshireboyMan
over a year ago

North Devon


"

One thing I question (more generally), is why are there so many cheating spouses who claim that their other half have never been adventurous or had a high sex drive, if it was that important to them why get married in the first place. Would you really connect with someone so deeply, enough to marry them if you were such a mis-match sexually?"

Because people's sex drives and preferences change over time. You may be happy with vanilla sex once a week when you marry at 18, doesn't mean you will still be happy with it 20 years later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

One thing I question (more generally), is why are there so many cheating spouses who claim that their other half have never been adventurous or had a high sex drive, if it was that important to them why get married in the first place. Would you really connect with someone so deeply, enough to marry them if you were such a mis-match sexually?

Because people's sex drives and preferences change over time. You may be happy with vanilla sex once a week when you marry at 18, doesn't mean you will still be happy with it 20 years later"

Compatibility and communication is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many comments....some bang on the money...many clearly have no clue what so ever....if they are lucky they may well stay that way...sexless relationships are not uncommon...and just sometimes no amount of talking....pills...potions will do any good what so ever..........but and it's a very big but you still love one another dearly....for the one still wanting sex it is both heartbreaking and soul destroying....is swinging the answer......no it isnt....does it help....yes it can....i expect very few will understand this....and as i say if your lucky you may never have to..........but don't bank on it...life has a habit of putting you in places situations you never thought in a million years you would end up.....as the saying goes "walk a mile in my shoes".....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am curious....and I do know/expect this topic to be somewhat controversial...

Would you say that a couple (married or not, but together a decade or so) both in their 30's with no medical issues or whatever to make sex difficult who have sex very infrequently (approx once a month, some months not at all) can say that they are still "in-love".

There is allegedly plenty of kissing and cuddles, but no sex which I find a little inc_edulous to be honest!!

To me if they are able to, but the desire is no longer there,for whatever reason, there is a massive, fundamental problem with the marriage/relationship?!

Your thoughts? "

Sex is not the bee all and end all in a relationship personally I think sex should take a strong part but others may be different but different people feel different things and express love differently.

So because I have not been in a relationship with no sex or little. Sex so I can't really say.

I can say out my relationships I have had I thought I loved each until I meet my ex and I never fealt this feelings before..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So many comments....some bang on the money...many clearly have no clue what so ever....if they are lucky they may well stay that way...sexless relationships are not uncommon...and just sometimes no amount of talking....pills...potions will do any good what so ever..........but and it's a very big but you still love one another dearly....for the one still wanting sex it is both heartbreaking and soul destroying....is swinging the answer......no it isnt....does it help....yes it can....i expect very few will understand this....and as i say if your lucky you may never have to..........but don't bank on it...life has a habit of putting you in places situations you never thought in a million years you would end up.....as the saying goes "walk a mile in my shoes"....."

Great answer this here especially about will swinging help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner and I had a great sex life and a very affectionate relationship. We were both full of love and we knew we were safe with eachother. After having our son it It is like someone flicked the switch and it is all gone. I've tried so hard to be how we were but with no interest on her part. Mental and physical health does have a part to play in it but she won't tell me her problems so I can understand them. It is a huge shock and I can't get used to it as it has become a completely different relationship, and one I don't particularly like.

Why am I still with her?

Because the love I have for her continues to get stronger and stronger despite all these problems. I'm not sure we would be able to cope being apart

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

I'm one of those that believe you can still be 'in love' in a sexless relationship. I believe that love and sex are different things and it's possible to have one without the other. Most married people or those in a relationship already on this site are looking for sex, not love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that if a marriage works and everyone in it is more or less happy its nobody elses business.

I don't think we should expect other people to conform to our idea of a good marriage."

Absolutely

People have a tendency to vocalise their own fears and try and project these on other's relationship. Each relationship is slightly different

It is like someone who is in an S&M relationship suggesting that unless the husband is able to flog his wife every night before sex, the relationship is doomed for failure

Now where is that flogger?

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationships go through cycles. Life happens, it gets hard, people grow and adapt and change. Needs / desires can fluctuate.

We didn't have sex for a good 2 years a while back, I was only 23 and with an extremely high sex drive! Didn't mean we weren't still in love.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think that if a marriage works and everyone in it is more or less happy its nobody elses business.

I don't think we should expect other people to conform to our idea of a good marriage.

Absolutely

People have a tendency to vocalise their own fears and try and project these on other's relationship. Each relationship is slightly different

It is like someone who is in an S&M relationship suggesting that unless the husband is able to flog his wife every night before sex, the relationship is doomed for failure

Now where is that flogger?

- Mrs. J -"

You should keep it by the bed...we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they can still be in love.

You do not need to love someone to have sex with them and you do not have to have sex with someone to love them. However in a loving relationship making love is a lovely part of being in love.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I am curious....and I do know/expect this topic to be somewhat controversial...

Would you say that a couple (married or not, but together a decade or so) both in their 30's with no medical issues or whatever to make sex difficult who have sex very infrequently (approx once a month, some months not at all) can say that they are still "in-love".

There is allegedly plenty of kissing and cuddles, but no sex which I find a little inc_edulous to be honest!!

To me if they are able to, but the desire is no longer there,for whatever reason, there is a massive, fundamental problem with the marriage/relationship?!

Your thoughts? "

Definitely possible, I know friends in similar situations.

To be fair in there cases they want it more but the wife doesn't

The danger is that all but one of them say they are still in love but would play away just for the sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am curious....and I do know/expect this topic to be somewhat controversial...

Would you say that a couple (married or not, but together a decade or so) both in their 30's with no medical issues or whatever to make sex difficult who have sex very infrequently (approx once a month, some months not at all) can say that they are still "in-love".

There is allegedly plenty of kissing and cuddles, but no sex which I find a little inc_edulous to be honest!!

To me if they are able to, but the desire is no longer there,for whatever reason, there is a massive, fundamental problem with the marriage/relationship?!

Your thoughts?

Definitely possible, I know friends in similar situations.

To be fair in there cases they want it more but the wife doesn't

The danger is that all but one of them say they are still in love but would play away just for the sex.

"

Your friends, several of them, I presume, tell you such intimate details about their relationship and about their sex-life with their partners?

- Mrs. J -

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"I am curious....and I do know/expect this topic to be somewhat controversial...

Would you say that a couple (married or not, but together a decade or so) both in their 30's with no medical issues or whatever to make sex difficult who have sex very infrequently (approx once a month, some months not at all) can say that they are still "in-love".

There is allegedly plenty of kissing and cuddles, but no sex which I find a little inc_edulous to be honest!!

To me if they are able to, but the desire is no longer there,for whatever reason, there is a massive, fundamental problem with the marriage/relationship?!

Your thoughts? "

Interesting article on the same topic in the mails you magazine.

Although it is heavily going down the older people route for the majority of it

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie."

I think the true test is how often you fuck on holiday. Day to day some people have busier lives than others, but if you don't fuck on holiday when you aren't busy then i'd say it's a warning sign.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie.

I think the true test is how often you fuck on holiday. Day to day some people have busier lives than others, but if you don't fuck on holiday when you aren't busy then i'd say it's a warning sign. "

We go sightseeing

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm one of those that believe you can still be 'in love' in a sexless relationship. I believe that love and sex are different things and it's possible to have one without the other. Most married people or those in a relationship already on this site are looking for sex, not love. "
Your right in saying this .

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By *ndecidedMan
over a year ago

London

Want to write a meaningful response to this but the lady above has, with her amazing eyes and stunning body, caused all the blood to go down south....so I'll just say "no-sex marriage bad"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Want to write a meaningful response to this but the lady above has, with her amazing eyes and stunning body, caused all the blood to go down south....so I'll just say "no-sex marriage bad"! "
Maybe be its bad but some still love each other and sex is not everything they have together. x And kisses xx Why site like this have loads on playing away as get there sex from here not there love.

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By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire


"We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie.

I think the true test is how often you fuck on holiday. Day to day some people have busier lives than others, but if you don't fuck on holiday when you aren't busy then i'd say it's a warning sign. "

I was going to try and be funny saying 'remind me what sex is..'

but now I feel like saying 'remind me what a holiday is' lol

I'm doomed doomed I tell ya

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie.

I think the true test is how often you fuck on holiday. Day to day some people have busier lives than others, but if you don't fuck on holiday when you aren't busy then i'd say it's a warning sign.

I was going to try and be funny saying 'remind me what sex is..'

but now I feel like saying 'remind me what a holiday is' lol

I'm doomed doomed I tell ya "

Holidays are where you go to have sex with your wife

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie."

And that's fine , as it's your life and that makes you happy .

The minute housework , hobbies , kids and work stops us having sex , we would take a look at our priorities and do something about it . Once a month would be a nightmare ! We don't go more than a day , and haven't done in the seven years we have been together .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm one of those that believe you can still be 'in love' in a sexless relationship. I believe that love and sex are different things and it's possible to have one without the other. Most married people or those in a relationship already on this site are looking for sex, not love. Your right in saying this ."

100% with this...

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"We sometimes go a month or so without sex. We don't fret over it. We have busy lives with us both working full time, kids, hobbies, housework etc. I think I'd only get concerned if we went without for a few months.

Katie.

And that's fine , as it's your life and that makes you happy .

The minute housework , hobbies , kids and work stops us having sex , we would take a look at our priorities and do something about it . Once a month would be a nightmare ! We don't go more than a day , and haven't done in the seven years we have been together ."

You're right, we're both very happy. Sex isn't high on our list of priorities at the moment but it makes no difference to how we feel about each other.

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