FabSwingers.com forum: Would you rather

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Be told that you don't meet someone's requirements or would you rather be kept in an ignorant bliss (although you know full well what the answer is). Not just on here but general dating malarkey type things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for me/us is the perfect reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rather be told so I can cut my losses and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be told that you don't meet someone's requirements or would you rather be kept in an ignorant bliss (although you know full well what the answer is). Not just on here but general dating malarkey type things. "
Be told politely sorry its a no thanks.......sadly you dont get told this often so you are in a limbo ???.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can take a no for an answer but it kinda grinds my gears when I get blanked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I'd just piss them off and not need to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be told surely ,why waste each other's time and effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite no thanks is nice, but I can take a hunt as well. As long as they're not rude

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

" Not for me/us "Thank you" is the perfect reply."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If im not getting clear interested signals id back off anyway. I don't need to be told.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind if I'm blanked. It's not like I've formed an attachment with anyone I message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If im not getting clear interested signals id back off anyway. I don't need to be told. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite no is the best way to be turned down.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can't decide what I prefer!

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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'd like to know.

So I can handle the rejection like all the other times and cry into a tub of ice cream.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really good at taking the hint. I'm cool with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would rather be told, they don't cut the mustard & I'm too good for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard it so often I'm used to it by now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problem bring told 'no thanks' - I say it often enough myself - but equally I'm a grown up and can take a hint too

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i'd rather they didn't reply. it means i have to think about replying to say thanks for the rejection or ignoring the reply.

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

I dont mind either.. a case of what they dont say can be a good hint. Ie yes.. no... lol answers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A "not for me"/"not my type" is always nicer than just nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A "not for me"/"not my type" is always nicer than just nothing."

How is it nicer? I'm truly baffled by this.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"A "not for me"/"not my type" is always nicer than just nothing.

How is it nicer? I'm truly baffled by this. "

we pandered to the 'men are important' myth.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"A "not for me"/"not my type" is always nicer than just nothing.

How is it nicer? I'm truly baffled by this. "

It means that they have at least read it ??

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

To be told. Saves a lot of time and embarrassment. Not everyone can handle being told obviously, but my standard reply when someone starts getting nasty after being given a polite 'thanks, but you're not what I'm looking for' is as follows: Would you prefer that I wasted your time for the next few weeks/months with false flattery, stringing you along to boost my own ego?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A "not for me"/"not my type" is always nicer than just nothing.

How is it nicer? I'm truly baffled by this. "

I dunno, but I've had both and that's what I prefer. I know women can't reply to every message they recieve, and I would never expect a reply.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

To be told.. Thanks but no thanks works well.

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By *ussieMaxMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"I don't mind if I'm blanked. It's not like I've formed an attachment with anyone I message. "

Exactly!

This is about managing one's own expectations and not caring if there is no reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If im not getting clear interested signals id back off anyway. I don't need to be told. "

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't message anyone who's requirements I haven't met, doesn't make any difference mind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather be told than left wondering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to know, I'm not really bothered either way as it's the same difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here I don't really care what people think so I'd rather be told when I'm not what someone is looking for so I know how to act moving forward.

But when I was dating it hurt more when people were direct about not being interested. It felt more personal when it was a dating scenario than just a sex scenario. In those cases I'd rather have the 'let down gently' approach than the 'tell it like it is' approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can usually tell pretty fucking fast if someone is blowing cold on me / Not interested.

I move on pretty fucking fast too.

I don't need to be explicitly told.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not bothered either way. I know not everyone will like me. I'm sure there's loads of reasons. They can tell me all of them, that's fine. I can't compete so why would it hurt me that I'm not what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I commented earlier but I'm still disappointed this wasn't a 'horse sized duck' v 'duck sized horse' thing

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't need either, if there's no investment but fine hearing directly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're all adults, just take it on the chin and move on. No big deal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prefer to be told, don't care about the reason (too old, too ugly, too many veris) xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather be told, constructive criticism acceptable..

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By *arge Hardon ColliderMan
over a year ago

Not far away

I prefer a not for me/us, than no reply but understand all the reasons people have on here, for not replying.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't mind if I'm blanked. It's not like I've formed an attachment with anyone I message.

Exactly!

This is about managing one's own expectations and not caring if there is no reply."

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here I'm not bothered - in my 'important ' environment then I would like to know.

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