FabSwingers.com forum: Can swingers be

By *veragecple OP Couple
over a year ago

belfast

faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Yes some, not all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see why swingers would be any different to the general population in terms of cheating. In effect they may be less likely to cheat bearing in mind the variety they already have on offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Some obviously do

But I really can't see why you would want or need to when you have the chance to be sexually liberated and fulfill your fantasies with your partners blessing?

Its not something that has ever occured to me since we began this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have very little faith with the male of the species along with trust.(on a one to one basis)..but it dont matter if they swingers or not...some will and some wont play around.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right."

I dont agree at all. If you can have your cake and eat it why risk your cake? lol

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

some swingers cheat just same as some vanilla people cheat. there will also be those in both catigories who dont .

its the indervidual who decides to cheat nothing to do with sexual preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swingers in general take the act of being faithful as a lower priority issue otherwise they would not break their marriage vows or (civil partnership commitments). I guess swinging is another name for a collection of promiscuous people though. I am sure many couples will deny this till they are blue in their face to try and support their insecurities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right.

I dont agree at all. If you can have your cake and eat it why risk your cake? lol "

wow, well put indeed.

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

Would there be a need to cheat for sexual satisfaction? On the basis that the OH didn't stimulate in any other way, then probably.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right.

I dont agree at all. If you can have your cake and eat it why risk your cake? lol "

Quite simply because the act of being faithful is of low consequence. I have come across so many insecure couples who the male side is paranoid about not meeting the same guy more than once.

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By *andy muncherMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

its hard when your a cpl a swinging cpl temptaion is there and if you swing as singles as well you will stray it happens

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

We are all capable of cheating and swingers are no less susceptible. I like to think we have a better chance because we are more open minded of our needs and communicate a lot better with our partners but we are all falible.

Rhett always says I am my own person, he does not own me, I do what I will and would not think of keeping me all to himself.

But at the end of the day swinging doesn't make a relationship perfect and if the cracks are there.....

Our philosophy is jealousy is the root of most problems. Once the green eyed monster is dispelled life is so much easier. Because we accept each others freedom of expression we are less likely to cheat because there is no need to.

Coercion into swinging is never going to work (in most cases) because they will inevitably get jealous, penis envy, betrayed if they don't have the correct mindset.

But then again I am blissfully happy in our relationship and definitely am here of my own accord.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mentally im fiercely faithful, and have been in my past swinging relationships, and yes they were long term

Im deff a one woman man and the emotional and love aspect is paramount to me

But physically its a different matter xx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Mentally im fiercely faithful, and have been in my past swinging relationships, and yes they were long term

Im deff a one woman man and the emotional and love aspect is paramount to me

But physically its a different matter xx

I like this because its more or less how I feel too

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

"faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right.

I dont agree at all. If you can have your cake and eat it why risk your cake? lol "

Ahh...logically you are quite right..... but there are always some who will cheat. I believe some just get a huge kick out of doing something they shouldn't.....and always think they will never get caught.

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

"Mentally im fiercely faithful, and have been in my past swinging relationships, and yes they were long term

Im deff a one woman man and the emotional and love aspect is paramount to me

But physically its a different matter xx

Oh...me too!

I like this because its more or less how I feel too

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

The question here is what is the definition of 'faithful'?

I suspect for many here it could be similar but different, as every relationship is different on some level.

And lets be honest, if by unfaithful you mean having sex with someone else, then yes all of here are, or do you have a different rule?

I'm not, but I would have sex with you if we were both attracted.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"The question here is what is the definition of 'faithful'?

I suspect for many here it could be similar but different, as every relationship is different on some level.

And lets be honest, if by unfaithful you mean having sex with someone else, then yes all of here are, or do you have a different rule?

I'm not, but I would have sex with you if we were both attracted."

I presume they mean meeting someone for sex or romantic reasons or both behind their partners back.

Mistress x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right."

If you believe that why are you are on a swinging site, presumably you believe you will cheat on your partner?

A good relationship is based on honesty and trust,swinging for over 20 years here,never have either of us done anything behind each others back.

It seems your friend,and you, believe people are only faithful because of societal pressures ,not because they want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"faithfull.

I was chatting with a friend about swinging and she has it in her head that all swingers will cheat on their partners giving the chance. Im tend to think she is right."

I am totally faithful to my Husband... I never even think about cheating.. it isnt something I would do.. faithful and monogamy are not the same... or not in my book..

Cheating would be doing something behind his back.. something I know I would never ever do... or have the desire to do.

SO yes.. swingers can be faithful..

Cali x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/11 00:37:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im very surprised that infidelity features so highly as a reason to destroy an otherwise fantastic relationship."

Shhhh keeps Jezza in a job xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who are not content will cheat, be that whilst swinging or in their vanilla world.

For many couples it is not sex which is the main thrill of swinging. I don't need other guys to satisfy me cos sexually I'm always satisfied. In most situations when we're swinging, ill be having a brill time sexually but when the OH touches me I orgasm fairly quickly because he knows my body. Swinging is the thrill of doing something taboo and its why I love the clubs and parties, it feels decadent and that's the pull for me.

For some couples they will never be content essentially with one person. Even if they are a swinging couple and have regular meets, it won't be enough. They will be the guys who message saying that the wife is ill and doesn't mind them meeting without her, or the guys at parties who will follow a woman into the kitchen when the wife is in another room and start fondling someone away from wifeys prying eyes, or the guy who will go into chat or msn and start talking to others and make their own personal arrangements, or the woman who on a meet is all over the other guy of a couple, inappropriately so, overstepping the invisible line that's set, often wanting the romantic touches like sensual kissing, sitting on laps, touching thighs or hands when play is not in progress.

Most of us know the traits as we've all experienced it in some degree. For the couples who do those kind of things, being allowed sexual freedom will never be enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some obviously do

But I really can't see why you would want or need to when you have the chance to be sexually liberated and fulfill your fantasies with your partners blessing?

Its not something that has ever occured to me since we began this

I have a friend that always cheated on his wife. I said, rather tongue in cheek, that he should discuss fantasies with his wife and join a swinging site: he did! To his surprise and delight she agreed and they had great meets...but he got bored!

The bottom line is he missed the deception, that added to his excitement. I'm sure there are couples here that just want to meet others without their OH for similar reasons!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reply to the OP, from our point of _iew the answer is a simple YES.

We have neither the wish or need to be unfaithful - simple as

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Sassy makes a really valid point in that it isn't just the sex that's the driving force, its the illicit, the deception

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people will never cheat. Some will cheat whether swingers or vanillas. My ex cheated on me and we were swingers. I also know of someone who had a vanilla relationship, but he is a swinger and cheated on his girlfriend many times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have very little faith with the male of the species along with trust"

I'm the same with women. I think it's just a human condition. Everyone finds the grass greener the other side. Until the other side becomes this side that is.

For swingers the definition of 'cheating' is slightly different. In a truly open relationship should it be a problem? Also why would any swinger 'cheat' when they'r not getting anything much different to normal except that they're not telling about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think Sassy makes a really valid point in that it isn't just the sex that's the driving force, its the illicit, the deception

It is.. I have an ex... and we had our relationship on and off for many years.. thing is.. he kept choosing to be with really nice girls.. that wouldnt let him have others.. but was swinging and had me.

Why didnt he have me as the g/f and get to go have a nice time with other girls..

Because it would have a) meant sharing me with other men..

but b) He would have had my blessing and consent..and where was the fun in that..

He actually told me that..

So I think as Sassy pointed out.. its not just the sex bit..

Cali

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By *odka n CokeCouple
over a year ago

Greater London

A friend of mine has actually told me that I'm cheating, even though I don't do ANYTHING without my husbands knowledge and consent. In fact, we don't do anything on our own, not even reply to messages.

Apparently, because I'm having 3-somes and 4-somes, I'm a cheat, plain and simple!?!

He himself had an affair whilst being married and I pointed out that cheating is doing something sexual with another person BEHIND your partners back, but he won't have it!!! I'm still a cheat too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

personally i think swingers are less likely to cheat as

you need quite a high degree of trust in a relationship to start swinging and your probably fulfilling most of the reasons that people cheat to get.

I have happily sent my other half off to a gangbang i wasnt attending, not cheating cos i arranged it for him!

Un faithfulness is defined by each couple individually i think , for us its not sex but secrecy/dishonesty that would be wrongx

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