FabSwingers.com forum: Video shared?? Advice please.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Following on from a thread started yesterday by another member regarding photos shared at work.

I had a similar problem a couple of months back. I could do with some advice as my employer does not seem to be taking the issue as seriously as I would like.

It is a long story, but I had a disagreement with a colleague that I was very friendly with. Female and the same 'level' as me within the company.

(I am straight, she is Bi and when she came onto me and i brushed her off she did not like it....I believe that it may have started there?)

I reported her for inappropriate behaviour in work (related to something else) and when she found out about it, she shared a video of me and a mutual male friend/fb that we had both been with and made false allegations against me.The video was shared with HR and my area manager (The mutual male that we were with had shared the video with her via Whats'app)

The video shows just me and him at a hotel.

I have raised a grievance against her (took advice from ACAS and my Union) but I am so furious and I am thinking of going to the police but I don't know where I stand.

Anyone have any useful advice?

I am a bit concerned that this person is impulsive and reckless, does what the hell she wants and sod the consequences, and may have shared my video elsewhere or posted it online. I have looked, but I have not found anything, yet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry....I forgot to add that the male I was with took the recording on his mobile phone and then shared it with me via Whats'app afterwards.

I am a very private person. I take a lot of care to keep my personal life and work life separate.

I think that is professional and right. I was absolutely horrified to find out that a senior manager and HR had seen the video.

Embarrassed does not come close.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Send HR a quick email letting them know you've informed the police, just so they can be prepared and all that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Send HR a quick email letting them know you've informed the police, just so they can be prepared and all that."

I haven't informed the police.....yet.... I am unsure where I stand legally and I don't want to be laughed at, at the police station. I kind of hopes that my employer would take appropriate action, but they are not, or so it seems.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What has your private life got to do with HR and work!?! Unless she's alleging you've been doing this and bunking off on work time!?

If anyone reported me to my employer for having extra-marital sex on Fab I'd tell them, and the company, to sod off. None of their business as long as it doesn't impact my work performance x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 08/06/17 22:36:00]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What has your private life got to do with HR and work!?! Unless she's alleging you've been doing this and bunking off on work time!?

If anyone reported me to my employer for having extra-marital sex on Fab I'd tell them, and the company, to sod off. None of their business as long as it doesn't impact my work performance x "

In response to my report about her, she claimed that I "harassed" her and came onto her, causing anxiety and distress. She says that I sent the video to her to make her jealous and turn her on so she would want to be with me!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

From a quick google this is an offence:

Revenge porn – the distribution of a private sexual image of someone without their consent and with the intention of causing them distress

The above is copied from the yougov site.

If it were me, I would be reporting it to the Police

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What has your private life got to do with HR and work!?! Unless she's alleging you've been doing this and bunking off on work time!?

If anyone reported me to my employer for having extra-marital sex on Fab I'd tell them, and the company, to sod off. None of their business as long as it doesn't impact my work performance x

She conveniently 'forgot' to mention that she has at least 80 veris, a lot from females as well as a lot of photos of her on here 'with' females!!

Nothing wrong with that at all - I don't judge anyone, but don't make out that a person (me) is something I am not and make allegations which are clearly false

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be asking the question why hr and a member of staff watched a video of a sexual nature, of one of their members of staff.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I would be asking the question why hr and a member of staff watched a video of a sexual nature, of one of their members of staff. "

Me too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would be asking the question why hr and a member of staff watched a video of a sexual nature, of one of their members of staff. "

Apparently to 'substantiate' her claim of harrassment, but I am furious because she could have screenshot the 'image' or clip and not actually played the video and they did not have to watch it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You need a copy of your company's disciplinary procedure. If they have a decent one both parties and any witnesses will be interviewed by a neutral HR officer. If you have involved the police it will add weight to your evidence I imagine. Natural justice will ensue.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread