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how to wash your cat

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By *lutandhubby OP   Couple
over a year ago

west midlands

How to wash a cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At this point the cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet – the cat is actually enjoying this!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash” and “rinse.”

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours sincerely,

The Dog

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im on a cat lovers site. Its hilerious the things people do.

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By *lutandhubby OP   Couple
over a year ago

west midlands

yep, we have three cats, two chinchilla,s and two skunks (and four babys). xx

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By *lutandhubby OP   Couple
over a year ago

west midlands


"yep, we have three cats, two chinchilla,s and two skunks (and four babys). xx"

(babys skunks that is). xx

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I'm calling bullshit on this... It's a little known fact but cats automatically levitate above water.

It's like trying to push together two magnets of the same polarity, it's never gonna happen..

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I had to bath my cat 2 weeks ago.

He came home covered in some sort of sticky plant sap and started foaming at the mouth when he tried to lick it off.

I expected to be scratched to ribbons but he actually enjoyed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bathed two ferrets a few weeks back. ain't doing that again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cats land on their feet. Bread always lands butter side.

So strap a piece of bread to the cats back butter side up.

Then drop the cat on the floor. The laws of physics will kick in and the cat will just spin in mid air

Spray with a hose pipe until cat is clean

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

With a firemans hose perhaps?

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I've found that washing a cat is a 2 person job, the one holding said moggy needs to wear thick gardening gloves. Then you have to prepare yourself for the aggressive looks, the cat strop and mouse entrails outside your bedroom door in the middle of the night when you get up for a pee and don't turn the light on.

Who said that cats aren't vindictive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With a firemans hose perhaps?"

but you need to nail the cat to the floor first or you'll blow it three streets away

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I had a cat as a child I put it in the washing mac_ine

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"I had a cat as a child I put it in the washing mac_ine "

Surely, the perfect solution...mess is contained. And, with a combined dryer, this has to be a winning combination?

*please note, that in the summer months, hanging your cat on the washing line is more ecconomical than using a dryer...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always wondered, if you strapped a slice of buttered toast to a cats back (butter facing upwards obviously) and dropped said cat from a reasonable height, on which side would it land?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

#Life Hack

Tie your cat to the roof of your car before using the car-wash. Saves time, and avoids those irritating scratches and minor injuries...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Washing mac_ine - woollens programme, no spin cycle and then cool, dry.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Washing mac_ine - woollens programme, no spin cycle and then cool, dry."

* a dishwasher, on a similar heat setting, is a handy alternative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Washing mac_ine - woollens programme, no spin cycle and then cool, dry."

Has the added advantage of exercising your cat whilst getting it clean. A 30 min cycle is probably about 10k steps. So, if you tie your Fitbit to the cat before washing it, thats you're steps done for the day.

Double win.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Washing mac_ine - woollens programme, no spin cycle and then cool, dry.

Has the added advantage of exercising your cat whilst getting it clean. A 30 min cycle is probably about 10k steps. So, if you tie your Fitbit to the cat before washing it, thats you're steps done for the day.

Double win."

...now that's joined-up thinking...my hat off to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a cat who I bathe in the bath he's not that keen but he let's me get on with it

There's no way that I would put him down the toilet

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"I have a cat who I bathe in the bath he's not that keen but he let's me hold him down under the water.

There's no way that I would put him down the toilet "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cats land on their feet. Bread always lands butter side.

So strap a piece of bread to the cats back butter side up.

Then drop the cat on the floor. The laws of physics will kick in and the cat will just spin in mid air

Spray with a hose pipe until cat is clean"

This right here is pure genius

On the other hand it is best not to meddle in the affairs of a cat, they will piss on your computer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you put your cat in a candy floss mac_ine you can then lick it clean.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

#Life Hack

Hedge Trimmers make quick work of clipping long-haired cats..

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

I regularly bathe cats. (rescue volunteer) gardening gloves stop the teeth breaking skin but bites still hurt. Worst is 10-16ish week old ferals, there's fuck all to get hold of. Mite try this trick next time!

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill


"With a firemans hose perhaps?

but you need to nail the cat to the floor first or you'll blow it three streets away "

And the problem with that is?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Friends get me to bathe their cats, never an issue for me - no force needed

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Last time i coughed up hair balls for a week

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Last time i coughed up hair balls for a week"

You obviously didn't use Duck tape to collect all of the loose hair...tut tut...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha. Perfect amd made me laugh.

Thank you

The Goldfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How to wash a cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At this point the cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet – the cat is actually enjoying this!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash” and “rinse.”

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours sincerely,

The Dog "

Laughed so hard I nearly shat meself

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby


"How to wash a cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At this point the cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet – the cat is actually enjoying this!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power-wash” and “rinse.”

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours sincerely,

The Dog

Laughed so hard I nearly shat meself "
How cruel can you get....

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land


"I had a cat as a child I put it in the washing mac_ine "

Oh don't! My cat got a spin in the tumble dryer several years ago! She was 19 years old at the time and I had long given up on checking there was a cat in the drum! Thankfully it did not see her off, but it was an experience neither of us wished to repeat. I still check the washing mac_ine and tumble dryer, even now (for the sake of my current cat)

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby


"I had a cat as a child I put it in the washing mac_ine

Oh don't! My cat got a spin in the tumble dryer several years ago! She was 19 years old at the time and I had long given up on checking there was a cat in the drum! Thankfully it did not see her off, but it was an experience neither of us wished to repeat. I still check the washing mac_ine and tumble dryer, even now (for the sake of my current cat)"
yes mine does 1400 rpm and has to finish its cycle before you can open the door so it would have to be all power off and engineer out to washer not sure how he would open the door probabily have to pay for any damage (the customer that is) save cat from suffocateing, with £80 pound call out charge.

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