FabSwingers.com forum: Long Hair

By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Whilst I appreciate that men with long hair is not everyones preference within a swinging set up (i.e. it may not be a look that appeals with someone for who they would wish to play with) it does disappoint that in "normal" everyday society there is still great prejudice against those that choose to wear their hair long.

Being one of those aformentioned types it saddens me that on entering shops or other establishments the people that work there often closely keep a close eye on you incase you are likely to steal something or cause trouble. I was actually asked to leave a shop (one like the Body Shop, although not this particular company) in Cardiff, purely due to the length of my hair. To me, this is discrimination, pure and simple, just as it would be if a foreign, disabled or gay person was asked to leave.

I work with people with disabilities and it makes me really sad that in this day and age people are still so uneducated or plain ignorant as to carry these views with them and force them upon others.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Move to York hun, its like hippy city up here.

I do like long haired men, although when they get to my age they tend to have lost it due to the 'Francis Rossi effect'. But one guy I meet regularly has very long hair, which is very ticklish in certain places.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Tarzan was forever being thrown out of the jungle for his long hair....and look at the fights Conan the Barbarian got into about his long locks!

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It's just such a shame that people aren't judged on their merits as a person and not on their hair or look.

I personally am not keen on the shaven headed or crew cut look but I would never judged someone on that if that's the way they choose to portray themselves and I certainly wouldn't consider them a potential criminal just due to that.

It would be a very dull world if we all looked as if we came off a conveyer belt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Siren used to have a thing about men with long hair until one of them crapped on our couch!

She'd rather take a pair of shears to them than shag them now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wear glasses and people treat me different too, get over it!

Get your hair cut if its an issue for you!!

It annoys me when people wear glasses purely as a fashion accessory! I have to wear them, can't wear contacts or have an eye op. So as I said, if it bothers you that much YOU can do something about it??!?!

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I would neither change how I look due to someones prejudices or should have to.

What worries me is that society is still so unaccepting of peoples choices...not my own choice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old hippie here who still loves men with long hair. Interestingly I work for a very respectable organisation and couple of our experts out in the field still sport long ponytails so, not all are prejudice against long hair.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Old hippie here who still loves men with long hair. Interestingly I work for a very respectable organisation and couple of our experts out in the field still sport long ponytails so, not all are prejudice against long hair.

I work for the MoD. Long hair, tats, piercings everywhere. And thats just me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...as long as they dont block up the plughole with their stray hair, we really dont mind!

Infact the missus has a bit of a thing for long haired biker type bad boys!

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By *S_LISAWoman
over a year ago

Croydon

You should have refused to leave the shop! they don't have the right to ask you to leave unless you've stolen something or your causing a disturbance. You should have asked why they wanted you to leave a public establishment, did they have a sign up saying "men with long hair, not welcome".

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Believe me, I did make a fuss...but to no avail.

In job situations I've been refused jobs and was told point blank it was due to my hair...even a part time position I tried to get at Dixons whilst putting myself through college. What annoyed me was they had 3 tests before they employed you and they told me I had scorecd the highest in that area since they had been there but wouldn't employ me unless my hair was cut. I offered to tie it back and be as smart as everyone else that worked there but they would never have told a woman they would have to get their hair cut or even have told a woman with short hair that she had to grow it inorder to work there. I even took legal advice and was going to prosecute but for the sake of stupid part time position it wasn't worth it for the hassle it would have caused to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish id got bloody hair lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/07/11 11:38:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should have refused to leave the shop! they don't have the right to ask you to leave unless you've stolen something or your causing a disturbance. You should have asked why they wanted you to leave a public establishment, did they have a sign up saying "men with long hair, not welcome".

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!"

They have every right to ask you to leave and they don't have to give you a reason. A shop is not a public establishment

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!

They have every right to ask you to leave and they don't have to give you a reason. A shop is not a public establishment"

Absolutely correct.....

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!

They have every right to ask you to leave and they don't have to give you a reason. A shop is not a public establishment

Absolutely correct....."

Whilst I appreciate that you are correct, I wonder if society would have been so accepting had a person been asked to leave purely because they had been in a wheelchair?

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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!

They have every right to ask you to leave and they don't have to give you a reason. A shop is not a public establishment

Absolutely correct.....

Whilst I appreciate that you are correct, I wonder if society would have been so accepting had a person been asked to leave purely because they had been in a wheelchair?"
Aren't you confusing the issue slightly crazy horse? Society certainly has expectations, it also has biggots, I suspect you may have come across some of the small minority that we would label as biggoted if we used labels. Hahahahaha! trust me, disabled people experience far worse, I was told to leave a book shop with my guide dog many years ago, simply as I am blind and what use would books be to me, and the dog wasn't welcome either! O and by the way whilst we're on the subject, we're not people with disabilities, we're disabled people! Got that???

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!

They have every right to ask you to leave and they don't have to give you a reason. A shop is not a public establishment

Absolutely correct.....

Whilst I appreciate that you are correct, I wonder if society would have been so accepting had a person been asked to leave purely because they had been in a wheelchair?"

But people don't ask to be in a wheelchair....I think given the choice they would rather not be disabled.

However you made the choice to wear your hair long, so live with the possible consequences this may have for you....rightly or wrongly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just such a shame that people aren't judged on their merits as a person and not on their hair or look.

It would be a very dull world if we all looked as if we came off a conveyer belt."

people are judged for having crew cuts, having tattoos, having facial hair, being overweight, being ugly, being slightly left of centre

let's face it, we are all judged on a daily basis for the way we look, the way we dress, the way we act

not saying it is right, i'm just saying it's a fact of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u know this used to be a hellava good country ..........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHd6m_cirrU&feature=related

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

You should have made a stand that day for yourself and other men with long hair - stick up for yourself man!

They have every right to ask you to leave and they don't have to give you a reason. A shop is not a public establishment

Absolutely correct.....

Whilst I appreciate that you are correct, I wonder if society would have been so accepting had a person been asked to leave purely because they had been in a wheelchair?

But people don't ask to be in a wheelchair....I think given the choice they would rather not be disabled.

However you made the choice to wear your hair long, so live with the possible consequences this may have for you....rightly or wrongly."

i agree with Jane.

Wilst you of curse have the right to wear your hair as you wish you have to accept that with that right there comes certain issues of stereotyping and will encounter problems as you have above.

if you REALLY wanted that job at Dixons i am sure it would have been a small sacrifice to have cut your hair. no matter how hard you try i dont think you will be able to get a hair equality bill passed to help protect your rights in the way that disabled people have (tongue in cheek statement!!)

i am fat and also suffer because of my choice not to lose weight (well i am trying now

) i cant go on rides at theme parks because i am fat, i cant buy clothes in designer shops because i am fat, i get called names when i go out, get laughed at by groups of lads who think they are the dogs gonads, i can only buy clothes in 'specialist' shops or if in mainstream shops i am ushered to te back of the shop where the 'large' range is. is there anything i can do to stop this? yes - lose weight!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sadly we live in a very judgemental world

i have always stood out a bit for different reasons as in when younger i had a mohican (colour changed weekly) and wore heavey makeup and peircings making me "different from the norm", then i was a teen mum, although married and a home of our own, then i was fat not just a bit chubby but proper big bird that wobbles as i walk, all of these things got me judged harshly and discriminated against in many ways, often having to put up with abuse from numpties as i walked the street but yet i think these things have all helped to make me the person i am today so i am greatefull i always stood out from the "norm"

i feel it has made me a much more tolorant person i always try to see things from the other side before i make any judgement at all

and i've now completely lost where i was going with this so if i remember i'll come back and add some more

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Some of you maybe correct...I DO choose to wear my hair as I wish...but I will be damned if I will change myself due to tossers who say otherwise....and whilst as pointed out in an earlier post that cutting my hair for a job wouldn't have been too much of an inconvenience, it is my RIGHT to be myself, and not how a narrow minded society perceives I should be.

The point I was trying to make...as I am sure several have missed....is that in this day and age, it is a sad state of affairs that people in any group (whatever that maybe) are subject to mindless discrimination. As in my intial post, preference is one thing...discrimination of ANY kind is another thing altogether.

We are too quick to forget that if longer hair was good enough for gentry and the old kings of England in times gone by then why should it not be good enough for someone now!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

curious here ,can i just ask op ,when asked to leave the store did they actually clearly state they were asking you to leave the shop as you had long hair ? or did they just say they would rather you left the premises ?

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"curious here ,can i just ask op ,when asked to leave the store did they actually clearly state they were asking you to leave the shop as you had long hair ? or did they just say they would rather you left the premises ?"

It was clearly stated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately some people do judge by appearances, totally wrong. The cleanliness of someone's hair would be of far more importance to me than the length, love both. Particularly love the man who fronts the band the OP Is named after!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sadly we live in a very judgemental world

i feel it has made me a much more tolorant person i always try to see things from the other side before i make any judgement at all

and i've now completely lost where i was going with this so if i remember i'll come back and add some more

just remembered

my point was that despite the descrimination and abuse i recieved i would never change who i am to fit in with the "norm" to please any one, not a single soul, I am who I am and if someone doesn't like it well then they can kiss my wobbly, celulite ridden arse

we are all different and we should embrace that fact not discriminate against it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst I appreciate that men with long hair is not everyones preference within a swinging set up (i.e. it may not be a look that appeals with someone for who they would wish to play with) it does disappoint that in "normal" everyday society there is still great prejudice against those that choose to wear their hair long.

I work with people with disabilities and it makes me really sad that in this day and age people are still so uneducated or plain ignorant as to carry these views with them and force them upon others."

I've had long hair since 1972 and in those days, criticism was much more prevalent than it is now. I responded to such criticism by pointing out that serial killers, rapists, football hooligans and other mindless yobs invariably had short hair, not long hair (and still do). I also looked carefully to see whether the critic showed any sign of balding and if he did, suggested that he was envious that I had lots of hair when he was clearly losing his. That always got a laugh from those within hearing distance!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

if that was the reason given id diffinatly take this further then . they cant ask a guy to leave due to long hair ,but allow a woman .

as for people treating you different just due to way you look im afraid in ideal world it wouldnt be the case .sadly though its far from an ideal world and sometimes we have to "play ball " and conform to get jobs ect . plenty of professions have dress codes ect and if you want to work in that feild then thats what you have to do . is it right.... maybe not but thats the way things are . if you want to keep your long hair then there are jobs where its not an issue .

for record i love well kept long hair on a guy ... yum !!!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

because times and fashions change perhaps??

it used to be good enough to put arsenic on your face but dont see many people doing that now a days either do ya??

yes it is an unfortunate fact that people will judge others on the way look, maybe its a throw back to our cave man ancestors when they encountered different tribes?? however, nothing anyone does will effect such a change as to have a wholey inclusive society.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you cut your hair if you were continually turned down by the ladies on here?

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By *S_LISAWoman
over a year ago

Croydon

what is it then? You cannot be asked to leave a shop for no reason - a shop is open to the public which makes it a public place

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"what is it then? You cannot be asked to leave a shop for no reason - a shop is open to the public which makes it a public place"

its a private enterprise - the proprietor and their representatives have the right to refuse admittance to anyone the see fit

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Would you cut your hair if you were continually turned down by the ladies on here?

Hell no, people either take me or leave me as I am...If people are incapable of looking beyond the hair and into the person then they are not worth my time anyway.

Would you ask a woman if she would grow out her short hair if the same applied?

People have the right to be anyway they wish to be, not how others consider they should be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is it then? You cannot be asked to leave a shop for no reason - a shop is open to the public which makes it a public place"

Although we live in a "free society" the only place you have "a right" to be in, is your own property. Everywhere else, you are there by invitation. If, for any reason, you are asked to leave, you have every right to ask why, but they don't have to give you a reason.

A shop doesn't have to serve you, a pub doesn't have to serve you.

While these places are freely open to the public, they are not public establishments.

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By *S_LISAWoman
over a year ago

Croydon

shops are open to the public, if they want to pick and choose their customers based on appearance, they should fit a door bell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you cut your hair if you were continually turned down by the ladies on here?

Hell no, people either take me or leave me as I am...If people are incapable of looking beyond the hair and into the person then they are not worth my time anyway.

Would you ask a woman if she would grow out her short hair if the same applied?

People have the right to be anyway they wish to be, not how others consider they should be!"

While I admire your convictions, if you've made your choice "to be different" why are you posting a moan in a forum?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"what is it then? You cannot be asked to leave a shop for no reason - a shop is open to the public which makes it a public place"

Sorry but you are way off here.....a shopkeeper has every right to refuse to serve someone or even give them the right to stay in their shop....which is not a public place, it's private property.

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Would you cut your hair if you were continually turned down by the ladies on here?

Hell no, people either take me or leave me as I am...If people are incapable of looking beyond the hair and into the person then they are not worth my time anyway.

Would you ask a woman if she would grow out her short hair if the same applied?

People have the right to be anyway they wish to be, not how others consider they should be!

While I admire your convictions, if you've made your choice "to be different" why are you posting a moan in a forum?"

If you had read the post correctly in the first instance, it was not a "moan"...it was a comment on the sad reflection of the society we still live in!

And as I can tell from reading other forum posts on this site, there is a wide variety of topics that are discussed/mentioned...So why then would I not be entitled to put a post on here about something that is meaningful to me?

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By *S_LISAWoman
over a year ago

Croydon

Im sorry but I cant agree with you on this. You cannot be asked to leave anywhere because the lease holder of the Shop doesnt like the look of you. If asked to leave and you refuse all they could do is phone the Police. They would have to give a reason to the Police - you cant say he cant come in because you dont like the length of his hair!

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By *roquois OP Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Im sorry but I cant agree with you on this. You cannot be asked to leave anywhere because the lease holder of the Shop doesnt like the look of you. If asked to leave and you refuse all they could do is phone the Police. They would have to give a reason to the Police - you cant say he cant come in because you dont like the length of his hair! "

In actual fact they do have the right...but the post is not aboout whether or not they have the right...it is about the mentality behind the thinking that caused them to ask someone to leave for something as trival and blatently prejudicial as that.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

You are completely wrong on that....speaking as an ex shop owner....and current owner of a shop lease.

The management of any private premises witholds the right to refuse to serve, or have an individual on the premises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had read the post correctly in the first instance, it was not a "moan"...it was a comment on the sad reflection of the society we still live in!

You have every entitlement to post whatever topic you want, as long as it doesnt't break site rules.

You will get replies from different people who, although they will read the same words, they might not necessarily take it in, in the way you intended it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are completely wrong on that....speaking as

an ex shop owner....and current owner of a shop lease.

The management of any private premises witholds the right to refuse to serve, or have an

individual on the premises.

Yep Jane ya deffo right on that as per xx

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By *S_LISAWoman
over a year ago

Croydon

Shocking!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Shocking!"

What is?

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By *in4sumMan
over a year ago

sheffield

It's nice to wear your hair long, as long as it's looked-after. I frequently get complimented on my hair, even though it's mostly grey. But i'll shear it as soon as it starts to thin.

Never had too much prejudice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really go for men with long hair. I prefer a man who gets a good cut that looks masculine. But that's me and it is different for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should have insisted that all the women with long hair left the shop too under the equal rights act and protested very loudly to all and sundry - may still have resulted in you leaving the shop but at least you'd have given anyone present an insight of the bigotry of the owners - nothing like a bit of negative publicity to make owners think twice about losing customers....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you cut your hair if you were continually turned down by the ladies on here?

Hell no, people either take me or leave me as I am...If people are incapable of looking beyond the hair and into the person then they are not worth my time anyway.

Would you ask a woman if she would grow out her short hair if the same applied?

People have the right to be anyway they wish to be, not how others consider they should be!

While I admire your convictions, if you've made your choice "to be different" why are you posting a moan in a forum?

If you had read the post correctly in the first instance, it was not a "moan"...it was a comment on the sad reflection of the society we still live in!

+1 love ya xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to love my long hair , but reckon i broke it !

Now i shave my bonce to look as if i'm deliberately bald !

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