FabSwingers.com forum: I feel......

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A bit more like my old self so watch out!!

Gimme some cheer!!

I would like to hear your cheesiest jokes. Make me groan baby!!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

What's E.T. short for? Because he has little legs.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Shakespeare walks into a pub and the landlord shouts, "Oi you! You're Bard"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you catch a pair of tits?

With a booby trap!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

Who's there?

Cows go

Cows go who?

No,cows go moo silly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

Wipe his bottom

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Oh Puck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do card sharks never play poker in the jungle?

Way too many Cheetahs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call bees that produce milk?

BOO-BEES

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a poo on her head?

Because William Shatner ..

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

One for the scousers!

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?

An egg!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Young lady goes to docs and says " doctor doctor my vagina smells of coconut" doc replies " aye it's bounty"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: What do you call a bunny in a kilt? A: Hopscotch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can't you get any pain relief in the jungle...

Because - parrots eat'em all!

I'll leave...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Young Timmy pricked his finger on a drawing pin at school.

"Teacher teacher I need to put my finger in some Cider" said Timmy.

"Some Cider Timmy?? Why an earth would you need to do that?" Enquired the Teacher.

"Well my sister always says when she gets a prick in her hand, she always puts it in cider"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how do you give a duck some soul?

put it in the oven til it's bill withers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crime in multi storey car parks is wrong on so many levels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A bit more like my old self so watch out!!

Gimme some cheer!!

I would like to hear your cheesiest jokes. Make me groan baby!!

Three cheers for Bunnyhop.

What did the left ball say to the right ball?

Don't talk to the guy in the middle he's a dick.

Boom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One for the scousers!

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?

An egg!

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the zoo yesterday... it only had a dog!

It was a shitzu

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went to the zoo yesterday... it only had a dog!

It was a shitzu

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Q: What do you call a bunny in a kilt? A: Hopscotch"

You just won the award for most relevant joke!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why did the scarecrow win an award?

because he was outstanding in his field

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman walks into a bar and orders an innuendo so the barman gives her one.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I was in a Chinese restaurant the other night when a duck walked over to my table and said "you have the most beautiful eyes and your smile lights up a room"

I called the waiter over and says to him "No, I asked for the AROMATIC duck"

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a poo on her head?

Because William Shatner .. "

What does William Shatner see when he looks in the toilet?

The Captain's Log

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some of these have actually made me laugh out loud

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

knock knock

who's there?

Knock Knock

Who's There?

KNOCK KNOCK

WHO'S THERE?

Arnsar the bludey dor and find out !

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Y wos the chef upset with his kitchen assistant ?

Cos he came back with a horce and a radish arfter being asked to make sum horce radish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/17 10:41:24]

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"I was in a Chinese restaurant the other night when a duck walked over to my table and said "you have the most beautiful eyes and your smile lights up a room"

I called the waiter over and says to him "No, I asked for the AROMATIC duck""

Love this one!

I'm stealing it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Q: What do you call a bunny in a kilt? A: Hopscotch

You just won the award for most relevant joke!!

I'm here all week; try the fish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man walks into a bar and orders six seperate shots of whisky. As the barman is pouring them the man is necking them, sharpish.

Barman; "you're drinking a bit quick aren't you mate"

Man; "you'd drink quickly if you had what I've got"

Barman; "why what have you got?"

Man; "fifty pence"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polar bear walks into a bar "two pints of.................... bitter please barman"

Barman given the polar bear his drinks saying "there you are sir. But if I may ask, what the big pause"

Polar bear looks at his paws and says "dunno... I was born with them"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Polar bear walks into a bar "two pints of.................... bitter please barman"

Barman given the polar bear his drinks saying "there you are sir. But if I may ask, what the big pause"

Polar bear looks at his paws and says "dunno... I was born with them""

I was you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a bowl of fruit?

Bowl Appetite!

...I'll see myself out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's worse than a cardboard box ????

Paper tits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Snow White's dwarves were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left....

----------

What's better than Grease on Olivia Newton John?

Come On Eileen....

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

My favourite joke;

Two snowmen in a field. One says to the other; "Can you smell carrots?"

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

My second favourite joke;

My wife thinks I have commitment issues.

Well, I say 'wife'........

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By *rednwilma1Couple
over a year ago

york

Man walks into a bar .....

says ' OUCH '

it was an iron bar !!!

i'll get mi coat !!

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By *hocolatefountainCouple
over a year ago

Blackburn

Just bought Cluedo: Swingers Edition.

Turns out they all did it........in every room!

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By *arge Hardon ColliderMan
over a year ago

Not far away

[Removed by admin at 02/06/17 12:30:26 as post deemed way too cheesy, even for this thread]

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk ....

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

The new kitchen assistant had a cracking job.........

All he did wos crak eggs all day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you go on a cheese diet?

To cheddar few pounds

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

What's the most common owl in the UK?

The teat owl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the finger say to the thumb?

I'm in glove with you.

PTU xxx

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By *arge Hardon ColliderMan
over a year ago

Not far away

A guy saw a couple of swingers in a bar.

He said "put your bra back on love"

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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've got two wives.

Isn't that big of me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police are on the lookout for 2 mints, public warned not to approach as they are considered menthol!

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By *ourHotSpotMan
over a year ago

Horny Hornchurch

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.

What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You guys are so terribly funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You guys are so terribly funny

I sent you a face pic what more do you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw the mother in law getting mugged by a gang the other day.

'Shall I go and help?' I thought.

Nah,6 of them should be enough.

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By *rowleyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Two friends, Peter and Tom, share their love of tractor watching until, tragically, Peter dies after being run over by a tractor.

Tom, swears of tractors and for many years drifts about. One day he's in a pub and it catches fire. Smoke everywhere and people panicking how they'll get out.

Tom steps up and starts sucking up the smoke and blowing it away, allowing everyone to get to safety.

Outside, Tom is praised and interviewed by the newspaper where they ask how he was able to do what he did.

"It's easy", he said. "I'm an ex-tractor fan"

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