FabSwingers.com forum: Trust

By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Estella's friendship post got me thinking and is partly to blame for the character traits thread. Silhouettes on this site arouse suspicion for obvious reasons. Humans are visual and we all have a face which is how we communicate a lot of our thoughts and feelings. That removed in this environment is another way that we would normally gain trust that has gone. However in daily life we trust in faceless ppl and establishments everyday. We trust the care of our children to teachers, our most precious gift. We trust the medical profession to make us well, our life in their hands. The list is endless but why do we trust, especially strangers or establishments? Is it trust or just acceptance? Are we gullible or do we need something to believe in? I rarely trust but I'm usually trusted. I have been surprised that for the most part my silhouette has been accepted and also trusted by some. Why do we accept and trust things when everything is telling us we shouldn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Black panther?

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Black panther? "

Behave Kermit

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I don't show my face instead of my silhouette so is it my quim that makes me trustworthy? I don't understand your train of thought and logic. I can understand the latter point but it's not like on this site you get lots of faces. So it's a confused idea at best.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I don't show my face instead of my silhouette so is it my quim that makes me trustworthy? I don't understand your train of thought and logic. I can understand the latter point but it's not like on this site you get lots of faces. So it's a confused idea at best."

I'm trying to understand what makes us trust and why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the words of Tony Montana - 'who do I trust? Me!'

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"In the words of Tony Montana - 'who do I trust? Me!'

And I think that's true for a lot of ppl, yet you have those at the other end of the spectrum

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We wouldnt trust many on here,except the people we have met and become friends with.

They have prooved reliable ,so i guess thats what we look for .

I take everything with a pinch of salt on fab

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really trust silhouette pictures because it only takes a few seconds to put picture onto here. If you've been here for months and maybe a year and you haven't got anything there, makes me think you have something to hide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really trust silhouette pictures because it only takes a few seconds to put picture onto here. If you've been here for months and maybe a year and you haven't got anything there, makes me think you have something to hide"

I can relate to this. Silloettes look shifty.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

That was kind of my point so why do we trust faceless things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the words of Tony Montana - 'who do I trust? Me!'

And I think that's true for a lot of ppl, yet you have those at the other end of the spectrum "

Its a tough one PP sometimes you just get a vibe for certain people and now what you can and can't divulge other times you know to keep things between the four walls and you.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I can relate to this. Silloettes look shifty. "

A bit like your cream, I hope you change it frequently

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"We wouldnt trust many on here,except the people we have met and become friends with.

They have prooved reliable ,so i guess thats what we look for .

I take everything with a pinch of salt on fab

Miss"

Very wise and what you'd expect to be the opinion of ppl on here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That was kind of my point so why do we trust faceless things?"

Because essentially, you're a faceless stranger, you could be anyone. How do I know your not actually my ex who's trying to cat fish me, or a serial killer trying to lure me in. If you can't trust me to see your face, I can't trust you.

Everyday life situations such as teachers or doctors you mentioned is irrelevant because I would speak with them face to face. Sure there are teachers and doctors not to be trusted, but you've just got trust your instincts. Here I do have a choice, if you can't spent a few seconds uploading a picture, My guts going to tell me not to trust you

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Schools aren't faceless. What an odd idea. You can easily go and meet all the teachers involved with your child's education and see their faces.

I guess medicine is faceless as far as being fed drugs through a canula won't resort in you seeing lots of smiling faces entering your bloodstream to reassure you they won't poison you. But you meet your surgeons, the consultants, the registrars. They provide the humanising element. So medicine isn't faceless.

Those two odd points aside, as far as this site goes, I take most of it with a pinch of salt. I don't distrust silhouettes but they evidently have something to hide. It doesn't mean I trust them. Just indifferent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate to this. Silloettes look shifty.

A bit like your cream, I hope you change it frequently

I just change the date with a sharpie. It seems to have an 8wk shelf life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Schools aren't faceless. What an odd idea. You can easily go and meet all the teachers involved with your child's education and see their faces.

I think PP means is seeing a face what makes you trust someone? Most people confide more in complete strangers than they do people they know, the old adage of it being easier to talk to a stranger springs to mind.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Silhouette avatars are not trustfully at all, unless of course you can send me clear pictures of yourselves privately, then that is different.

Your argument re teachers/doctors etc does not stand as they have been fully vetted by the appropriate bodies.

Nobody is so easily identifiable that they can't out up some sort of picture of themselves whether it is semi naked or fully clothed.

So no is my answer I would never meet anyone of any sex without knowing what they look like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for me, trust is more an inner feeling than a visual one I like to think i can suss out a persons persona pretty quickly and 9/10 times pretty accurately.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I think for me, trust is more an inner feeling than a visual one I like to think i can suss out a persons persona pretty quickly and 9/10 times pretty accurately. "

Your gut

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Silhouette avatars are not trustfully at all, unless of course you can send me clear pictures of yourselves privately, then that is different.

Your argument re teachers/doctors etc does not stand as they have been fully vetted by the appropriate bodies.

Nobody is so easily identifiable that they can't out up some sort of picture of themselves whether it is semi naked or fully clothed.

So no is my answer I would never meet anyone of any sex without knowing what they look like "

I get that but what makes you trust?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Silhouette avatars are not trustfully at all, unless of course you can send me clear pictures of yourselves privately, then that is different.

Your argument re teachers/doctors etc does not stand as they have been fully vetted by the appropriate bodies.

Nobody is so easily identifiable that they can't out up some sort of picture of themselves whether it is semi naked or fully clothed.

So no is my answer I would never meet anyone of any sex without knowing what they look like "

Yet possibley 100% of the education and medical professionals who use fab will no doubt have their identies protected and faces hidden for obvious reasons.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Silhouette avatars are not trustfully at all, unless of course you can send me clear pictures of yourselves privately, then that is different.

Your argument re teachers/doctors etc does not stand as they have been fully vetted by the appropriate bodies.

Nobody is so easily identifiable that they can't out up some sort of picture of themselves whether it is semi naked or fully clothed.

So no is my answer I would never meet anyone of any sex without knowing what they look like

I get that but what makes you trust?"

Time and Communication, trust has to be earned, visual is only a starting point to see if that someone interests you initially, nothing more, nothing less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may very well be a doctor in the real world or a teacher or a police officer does this make people trust another more, although you've not seen my face does knowing my position is a trustworthy one in society give you more of a sense of trust and security?

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Estella's friendship post got me thinking and is partly to blame for the character traits thread. Silhouettes on this site arouse suspicion for obvious reasons. Humans are visual and we all have a face which is how we communicate a lot of our thoughts and feelings. That removed in this environment is another way that we would normally gain trust that has gone. However in daily life we trust in faceless ppl and establishments everyday. We trust the care of our children to teachers, our most precious gift. We trust the medical profession to make us well, our life in their hands. The list is endless but why do we trust, especially strangers or establishments? Is it trust or just acceptance? Are we gullible or do we need something to believe in? I rarely trust but I'm usually trusted. I have been surprised that for the most part my silhouette has been accepted and also trusted by some. Why do we accept and trust things when everything is telling us we shouldn't? "

Your not faceless to me,so I can trust you!!

It's a face I'd happily bury in my groin!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Silhouette avatars are not trustfully at all, unless of course you can send me clear pictures of yourselves privately, then that is different.

Your argument re teachers/doctors etc does not stand as they have been fully vetted by the appropriate bodies.

Nobody is so easily identifiable that they can't out up some sort of picture of themselves whether it is semi naked or fully clothed.

So no is my answer I would never meet anyone of any sex without knowing what they look like

Yet possibley 100% of the education and medical professionals who use fab will no doubt have their identies protected and faces hidden for obvious reasons."

Of course they do as well as do I, but I will send once someone has piqued my interest to the point we may want to meet. My point still stands that even those professions cannot put up some sort of visual picture, nobody has a neon arrow telling people what we do for a living

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Seriously though,I have done one blind non pic meet with a silhouette and she was very nice.just very shy.

I'd happily talk to anyone as long as they are respectable with their replies.

Meets are a different thing.

I'd need to have a good chat first before considering a silhouette

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Seriously though,I have done one blind non pic meet with a silhouette and she was very nice.just very shy.

I'd happily talk to anyone as long as they are respectable with their replies.

Meets are a different thing.

I'd need to have a good chat first before considering a silhouette "

FAF?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think for me, trust is more an inner feeling than a visual one I like to think i can suss out a persons persona pretty quickly and 9/10 times pretty accurately.

Your gut

Yes exactly right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found this which sums up my observation of building trust....

Scientifically, the key is to strike a balance between warmth and competence - so that you seem credible but also human. That combination of competence and warmth apparently makes people seem more trustworthy. So if a highly competent person can make themselves seem more approachable, and more trustworthy, by being a little clumsy or silly -- it makes them seem vulnerable and warm.

It would be important, however, to demonstrate credibility before you exhibit vulnerability -- and the demonstration of vulnerability cannot be in a way that undermines your competence -- so not linked to the credibility you've built up.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Uploading photos doesn't make you trustworthy nor can you trust what you see. Fake photos are uploaded all the time. Trust of strangers on a sex site is a strange concept to me. Once you get to know people you may feel differently but I would say treat it with caution. Your secrets are only safe if you keep them a secret

. As for people we have to deal with in general life, I would say I'm accepting of a need to rely on certain professionals whether that be medical, education etc but I don't blindly trust. We all make mistakes after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know as I automatically trust anyone, I hope that doctors and schools as such are trained enough to deal with their jobs professionally. But do question decisions, I've learned I've had to.

As for people on here, I do a lot of lurking and watch what people write. No one can completely hide their nature it does come out in telling ways. But I can't say I trust too much. A select few have proven that I can trust them but I'm not good at sharing my secrets.

I think we're all guarded on here because of the nature of this site and what we do is not seen as acceptable by society. So gut feelings play a big part for me though I've just learned the hard way that my gut feeling is faulty at best x

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here"

Yes but what makes you trust generally. Obviously you find a pic reassuring but what else in everyday life makes you trust?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here

Yes but what makes you trust generally. Obviously you find a pic reassuring but what else in everyday life makes you trust?"
everyday life i have all my senses and gut instinct

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here

Yes but what makes you trust generally. Obviously you find a pic reassuring but what else in everyday life makes you trust?everyday life i have all my senses and gut instinct"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here

Yes but what makes you trust generally. Obviously you find a pic reassuring but what else in everyday life makes you trust?everyday life i have all my senses and gut instinct

I think by getting to know you in the forum people get a very good idea of what kind of person you are. Your face pic never tells a story of the person behind the picture.

I've had a few good friends on here who I'd never seen their face for a long time. By that point it wouldn't have mattered to me what they looked like. I liked them as a person.

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Seriously though,I have done one blind non pic meet with a silhouette and she was very nice.just very shy.

I'd happily talk to anyone as long as they are respectable with their replies.

Meets are a different thing.

I'd need to have a good chat first before considering a silhouette

FAF?"

I'm in Devon, wanna join me!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here

Yes but what makes you trust generally. Obviously you find a pic reassuring but what else in everyday life makes you trust?everyday life i have all my senses and gut instinct

I think by getting to know you in the forum people get a very good idea of what kind of person you are. Your face pic never tells a story of the person behind the picture.

I've had a few good friends on here who I'd never seen their face for a long time. By that point it wouldn't have mattered to me what they looked like. I liked them as a person.

"
only a small percentage of the site use the forums and out of that few percent even less have blank avatars. It doesnt matter if im physically attracted to someone or not but i need to see a face. I have it on my profile send a face picture. They can see me so.i dont eant to chat to a blank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just dont get into any kind of conversation with faceless people on here

Yes but what makes you trust generally. Obviously you find a pic reassuring but what else in everyday life makes you trust?everyday life i have all my senses and gut instinct

I think by getting to know you in the forum people get a very good idea of what kind of person you are. Your face pic never tells a story of the person behind the picture.

I've had a few good friends on here who I'd never seen their face for a long time. By that point it wouldn't have mattered to me what they looked like. I liked them as a person.

only a small percentage of the site use the forums and out of that few percent even less have blank avatars. It doesnt matter if im physically attracted to someone or not but i need to see a face. I have it on my profile send a face picture. They can see me so.i dont eant to chat to a blank"

Maybe there's a reason they are blank.

I wouldn't hold that against them.

My thoughts on whether i want to continue to talk to someone depends very much on what they say to me.

Eventually yes, we'll exchange pictures but that's after i find out if we are mutually compatible.

I wouldn't take it personally if they didn't find me attractive though. There needs to be both for things to progress further.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Seriously though,I have done one blind non pic meet with a silhouette and she was very nice.just very shy.

I'd happily talk to anyone as long as they are respectable with their replies.

Meets are a different thing.

I'd need to have a good chat first before considering a silhouette

FAF?

I'm in Devon, wanna join me!

Wonderful I've never been either, afternoon tea would be amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't trust so pic or no pic makes no difference to me.

There's a person behind every profile. I don't really care if it's stolen pics or them.

Doctors and teachers etc- not sure if it's trust or acceptance.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I don't trust so pic or no pic makes no difference to me.

There's a person behind every profile. I don't really care if it's stolen pics or them.

Doctors and teachers etc- not sure if it's trust or acceptance. "

Ppl you do trust why is it you trust them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust people on what they say and what they do. Recently we had an example of a fella who had stolen some pics of a good looking Italian fella. There was some wet knicker elastic around until they realised it was fake.

So pictures are not everything.

With teachers and doctors, given time, we build up evidence based on interactions and feedback. But the initial handing over on a child is placing huge trust in the teacher

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you. "

Hmmmm why is that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well the obvious reason, on here, is that man are grossly out numbered by woman so any slim chance of a shag is pounced upon even though the alarm bells are loud enough to wake the dead.

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By *arahandmatCouple
over a year ago

Wrexham

For us, an initial meet isn't if we trust the people we are meeting but more if we trust that we can handle things if things go wrong. We have trust in ourselves.

For us, an exchange in face pics isn't to prove they are genuine, but more to see if there is an attraction. We use our instinct more, which is often confused as trust.

Trust is also given due to past experiences. For example, Doctors/Nurses. We trust them because their reputation precedes them and that they are also in employment for doing that job.

Sarah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust - huge thing - ive been let down by the big people in my life - parents - the ex who is the kids dad - and now friends arent all they seem so im loathe to trust any fucker - especially with my heart -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trusting people to simply turn up for a meet and treat you well is a different thing altogether

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We trust people and hope they don't prove us wrong generally. Maybe naive but otherwise it feel like life is always looking over your shoulder. Meeting hence takes a little time to sort those who let themselves down out.

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By *eistreMan
over a year ago

London/Norfolk

Not wishing to be overly negative on such a thread but I'd consider it foolhardy to apply any level of trust upon anyone on the internet without actually meeting them on several occasions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you. "

Was that Descartes or Cu, I mean Kant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Was that Descartes or Cu, I mean Kant?

I see the passive aggressiveness is catching.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Was that Descartes or Cu, I mean Kant?

I see the passive aggressiveness is catching. "

As opposed to overt aggressiveness you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Was that Descartes or Cu, I mean Kant?

I see the passive aggressiveness is catching.

As opposed to overt aggressiveness you mean?"

Snide remarks are designed to provoke and are denied. They're not clever, they're just dishonest

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

trusting pics is stupid as well. they could be fake pics.

people need to be honest and open to be trustworthy. on the internet people can even fake that.

i don't post much but i very much enjoy observing and analysing and i have enjoyed seeing people projecting their own illusions onto others here. i have enjoyed seeing how people interact in the forums. it's quite interesting.

yes, it seems we are quite gullible as a species especially when someone is manipulative.

and no i will not elaborate.

ignorance is bliss.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Trust ?! What is that exactly ?!!

I trust no one !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Was that Descartes or Cu, I mean Kant?

I see the passive aggressiveness is catching.

As opposed to overt aggressiveness you mean?

Snide remarks are designed to provoke and are denied. They're not clever, they're just dishonest "

No you seem to have missed the question. Twice in one thread as well. A bit careless that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust ?! What is that exactly ?!!

I trust no one !

Sometimes I don't even trust myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Was that Descartes or Cu, I mean Kant?

I see the passive aggressiveness is catching.

As opposed to overt aggressiveness you mean?

Snide remarks are designed to provoke and are denied. They're not clever, they're just dishonest

No you seem to have missed the question. Twice in one thread as well. A bit careless that "

No, as *you* have missed, I can't be bothered with the snide, oblique and petty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you. "

Would you elaborate on that? Seems a very odd remark without explanation. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Would you elaborate on that? Seems a very odd remark without explanation. X "

Being on this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate to this. Silloettes look shifty. "

Maybe I'm shadey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you.

Would you elaborate on that? Seems a very odd remark without explanation. X

Being on this site. "

But you're on here as well, does that mean you're not trustworthy neither?

I don't believe that as a community any of us are untrustworthy, yes there is an element of that but we all share what we are comfortable with on the open forums. The stuff that decides if we trust someone is done in private. But also you can tell by other people's reaction to forumites if they're not worth trusting.

I don't know you well enough to have an opinion either way about you so would never make such a remark. X

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I can relate to this. Silloettes look shifty.

Maybe I'm shadey

No I said you're controversial

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't trust so pic or no pic makes no difference to me.

There's a person behind every profile. I don't really care if it's stolen pics or them.

Doctors and teachers etc- not sure if it's trust or acceptance.

Ppl you do trust why is it you trust them? "

Because I know them. There are levels of trust- not many get to my top level.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot to get into my 'circle'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot to get into my 'circle'

I'd say that cuts both ways young lady, I'm still waiting for my bloody breakfast, last time I trust you my order!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot of lube and a fair amount of elbow grease to get into my 'hoop'

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot to get into my 'circle'

I'd say that cuts both ways young lady, I'm still waiting for my bloody breakfast, last time I trust you my order!

I like to keep people waiting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot to get into my 'circle'

I'd say that cuts both ways young lady, I'm still waiting for my bloody breakfast, last time I trust you my order!

I like to keep people waiting

I'd say you worth it!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot to get into my 'circle'

I'd say that cuts both ways young lady, I'm still waiting for my bloody breakfast, last time I trust you my order!

I like to keep people waiting

I'd say you worth it!

I really dislike it when I have to wait though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always begun from a position of being willing to trust another person until I get an indication I cannot trust them. That does mean there have been times when that trust has been misplaced but in the whole it works. However I am wary of revealing much about myself in here now as I have disclosed too much personal information to people I really didn't know well enough to trust them with the information.

Whilst mutual disclosure does forge trust in a relationship, that doesn't mean that further disclosure will continue to do that. Each disclosure risks a judgement being made, that can damage or end the relationship. A degree of mutual vulnerability, disclosure and acceptance of each other combined with some shared values are in my view the only things that can sustain friendship of any depth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There aren't many I trust, I'm very wary of the concept.

Been shit on too many times.

It takes a lot to get into my 'circle'

I'd say that cuts both ways young lady, I'm still waiting for my bloody breakfast, last time I trust you my order!

I like to keep people waiting

I'd say you worth it!

I really dislike it when I have to wait though

You'd want me to be quick then?

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