FabSwingers.com forum: Should I say something?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dilemma...

My best friend split up with her ex at the end of last month after being together for just over a year. Then at the start of this month she met someone new, they've been on a couple of dates. I see no issue in this as I've done similar.

However she's already introduced him to her two year old daughter - my god daughter. She adored my friend's ex (the dad isn't in the picture) and I think it's too soon to introduce her to someone new.

What's stopping me saying anything is the fact that I'm not a mother, and my friend hasn't let a load of boyfriends parade in and out of my god daughter's life. But I think my friend's rushed into it.

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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

Personally, I'd keep my nose out.

You do what you think is best.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Bit late now to say anything, it's been done.

I make it a cardinal rule to not comment on how others live their lives, unless someone is in danger. That doesn't mean I don't judge their decisions. I just don't say anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah her choice. Doesn't matter what you say now. It won't change the fact it's done

You can tell her you don't agree but it won't change anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't interfere in other's business. You can offer an opinion if asked but that is all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dilemma...

Honestly, it's none of your business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's to say you know better than she does?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it becomes a pattern then mention it. My ex used to introduce her new boyfriends to our children after a matter of weeks and they saw a revolving door of short term men. It wasn't good for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's too late now, but yes it's a bit early. It was over a year before I allowed mr into my home to meet my children and they're young adults.

But everyone to their own. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hear all , see all, say f**k all

old school values

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By *exmanMan
over a year ago

Stainforth

That's always a difficult one when you're messing around in other peoples lives but I would agree with you and that seems far too soon for someone to be introduced to the children also no matter what you say she's already done it now but maybe just a friendly word in her ear over a cuppa at some point wouldn't go amiss also I must say you've got the most phenomenal sensual eyes I have ever seen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she's your best friend I guess you could bring it up with her but it has already been done so I don't know if it will help much, I hope it works out well though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may have introduced him as 'mummy's freind', at two it's not a huge issue, I understand your concern, but I'd watch quietly for now.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's too late now, but yes it's a bit early. It was over a year before I allowed mr into my home to meet my children and they're young adults.

But everyone to their own. X "

How do you know it's too early? That's just your opinion and your own situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's too late now, but yes it's a bit early. It was over a year before I allowed mr into my home to meet my children and they're young adults.

But everyone to their own. X

How do you know it's too early? That's just your opinion and your own situation. "

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

I have a 3 year old and dating is a nightmare, but nobody meets my baby

Mainly for her sake and also cos I'm more than just a mummy

She might want to check out Clare's law xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You guys have (mainly) confirmed what I already thought... I'm going to watch quietly, then if and when it gets more serious she'll want me to meet him to see what I think of him, so I'm reserving any judgement until then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She may have introduced him as 'mummy's freind', at two it's not a huge issue, I understand your concern, but I'd watch quietly for now.x"

I'm with you on this one. She introduced her date to her child as what? I bet she didn't say "here's your new daddy". I don't see a problem tbh. Even single mums are allowed a social life.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm assuming that the daughter hasn't been introduced to her upcoming new parental figure, merely something lighter and more mundane. As such, kids can typically cope without trauma, so it's wise to let your friend manage her relationships with them both. She can best learn here from her experience.

It's great that you are watching out for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

No it's not for you to say anything,she knows best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's probably quite good for children to meet a variety of people. If this was just a friend of hers, would you still have an issue with her introducing them to each other!? Really, after just a couple of dates, that's all they are at the moment, friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had friends that have done similar. You have to let people make their own judgement call. We all do things differently which doesn't make it right or wrong.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's done, what are you going to say?

I would only say something if I felt either mum or daughter was in danger.

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By *ocketrocket80Man
over a year ago

Walsall

"She may have introduced him as 'mummy's freind', at two it's not a huge issue, I understand your concern, but I'd watch quietly for now.x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say anything.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Bit late now to say anything, it's been done.

I make it a cardinal rule to not comment on how others live their lives, unless someone is in danger. That doesn't mean I don't judge their decisions. I just don't say anything."

This for me too.

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