FabSwingers.com forum: Cringiest unsexy message you have had

By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I had one today 'oh you'll squirt when I've done with you'!! Yuk.

Anyone else had a cringey message from a Fabber?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I encounte_ed the profile of a guy on FLife last night who had commented on a friends picture. I looked at his wall and the stuff he posted on womens pictures were just vile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always the 'you have an ass/cock/pussy/body to die for' messages that make me cringe.

Would you really die for it? Really?

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

You'd bit fit if it wasnt for your stomach. What happened to it??

Errr 3 babies?

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'm going to make you moist.

Really?

Is that the best you have?

Moist? Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got told today my ass was so hot hed let me fart on him

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I got one along the lines of (can't reproduce it exactly sadly) 'you're half decent' so I 'might' stand a chance with a bloke like him.

Like an arrogant twat presumably ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got told today my ass was so hot hed let me fart on him

I can sort of see what he means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got told today my ass was so hot hed let me fart on him

If you tell everyone on the forums what I've been sending you one more time, you're going to get a smacked bottom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had quite a few messages over the years where guys have offe_ed to be my toilet when I need a number 2.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

You are a fuck dream

What does that mean?

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Nothing major, but saying that they love a mature woman, when I'm 3 years older than them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst I have got is "do you fancy a shag" Feel I am missing out after reading some of the above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got told today my ass was so hot hed let me fart on him

If you tell everyone on the forums what I've been sending you one more time, you're going to get a smacked bottom"

That's what im hoping for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone keeps sending me "peng" and other weird words I don't know! Im not down with the kids yo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages from total strangers saying they're wanking and want to spunk over my arse.

Wasn't very impressed with the one that asked if I fancied a shag in the back of his van, either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get why men tell me, in a message, that they're a 'heavy cummer!' I don't want to know that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone keeps sending me "peng" and other weird words I don't know! Im not down with the kids yo!

I had to urban dictionary it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are these message things you speak of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one from a bloke simply saying 'phone wank mate'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone keeps sending me "peng" and other weird words I don't know! Im not down with the kids yo!

Loool you are peng though

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By *rmrseptemberCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

"peng"

The over-exaggerated description of a person with good looks or a nice body or both.

Look at her, she's well peng!!

Sorry I had to google it and find out what it meant - lol!

I'm not sure what;s wrong with 'gorgeous' call me old fashion and that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing major, but saying that they love a mature woman, when I'm 3 years older than them

4 years

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By *illerpinsMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I got told today my ass was so hot hed let me fart on him

If you tell everyone on the forums what I've been sending you one more time, you're going to get a smacked bottom

That's what im hoping for

Your ass is defo spankable though babe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want your hairy c..t grinding on my face ......dear god no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""peng"

The over-exaggerated description of a person with good looks or a nice body or both.

Look at her, she's well peng!!

Sorry I had to google it and find out what it meant - lol!

I'm not sure what;s wrong with 'gorgeous' call me old fashion and that

Id much rather I understood the message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've increased my knowledge no end, I now know 3 bits of 'text speak'

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By *yz666Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea

HERE'S SOME FOR YOU:

horny guy wants a gf or wife. msg me if let me Fuck you

Wana hear me wanking?

Fancy some dirty chat? I'm horny as fk with a massive hard on for you x

So you genuine, up for meets, dirty weekends away being explo_ed, used, fucked hard rough and brutal in all your holes?

Same author as above: message header:BRUTAL ROUGH SEX. (WTF?!?)

I don't mind your not experienced, as long as your honest, genuine, and looking to experiment, and adventurous sexually then I am willing to guide you, train you into the sub lifestyle. As your inexperienced and you mentioned your shy I would expect you to be open, I usually have a 5 strikes rule, meaning I expect you to try things 5 times before telling me if you dislike it and want that set as one of your sexual limits.

If you are genuine then message me if you want to take the next step? (I have never spoken to him and any man that needs to be told 'no' five times is a rapist!)

Fancy some dirty bare back sex I can cum in you in the back of my van x

Hi sexy how are your

Fancy letting me fuck you onver the bonnet of my car then lick your pussy while I play with your tits x

I will make you squirt then fuck you hard and deep then cum deep in side you bare back and hold it in till it goes soft while I lick and duck your nipples

Just wanking my horsecock...,U?

i want licking ur pussy

Are you a mother?x (creepy)

you're beautiful! No photo?

I would love to fuck you Bareback and cum inside your pussy...

James xxx (0750 *** 5442)

How are you doing, would you like to meet i would love to fuck and cum multiple times inside your pussy and impregnating you wile kissing and sucking your tongue grabbing your boobs sucking and licking your tits x. Seriously?!? Grabbing boobs and sucking tongues? Impregnating? Why?!?

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

"Nothing major, but saying that they love a mature woman, when I'm 3 years older than them

4 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello mummy

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Feel like ive missed out on some cringe worthy messages

Worst ive had was "i want you to sit on my dick and spin"... Like a helicopter???

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

"HERE'S SOME FOR YOU:

horny guy wants a gf or wife. msg me if let me Fuck you

Wana hear me wanking?

Fancy some dirty chat? I'm horny as fk with a massive hard on for you x

So you genuine, up for meets, dirty weekends away being explo_ed, used, fucked hard rough and brutal in all your holes?

Same author as above: message header:BRUTAL ROUGH SEX. (WTF?!?)

If you are genuine then message me if you want to take the next step? (I have never spoken to him and any man that needs to be told 'no' five times is a rapist!)

Fancy some dirty bare back sex I can cum in you in the back of my van x

Hi sexy how are your

Fancy letting me fuck you onver the bonnet of my car then lick your pussy while I play with your tits x

I will make you squirt then fuck you hard and deep then cum deep in side you bare back and hold it in till it goes soft while I lick and duck your nipples

Just wanking my horsecock...,U?

i want licking ur pussy

Are you a mother?x (creepy)

you're beautiful! No photo?

I would love to fuck you Bareback and cum inside your pussy...

James xxx (0750 *** 5442)

Ooh, there's some good ones there. The 5 strike rule is horrifying.

Horsecock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just this minute... Having posted that tributes aren't for me, received the message, "ur pics deserve my thick wad on them xx"

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By *yz666Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea

Little charmers! The spelling makes me laugh, some I receive are unreadable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little charmers! The spelling makes me laugh, some I receive are unreadable. "

How to impress, eh?

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By *lassactmilf1Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Yes today . He wanted me to fart on his tongue !!!!! What is that all about?

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

"I had one today 'oh you'll squirt when I've done with you'!! Yuk.

Anyone else had a cringey message from a Fabber?

Out of the blue random message:

"I want to see your arse fart."

My, I could barely contain myself.

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

"Had quite a few messages over the years where guys have offe_ed to be my toilet when I need a number 2.

Lol ewe you've got something stuck between your teeth mate.

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By *rrol.BMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

"I'm going to make you moist.

Really?

Is that the best you have?

Moist? Really?"

Never set yourself unachievable goals.

If the worst comes to the worst he could always just spritz you with a water spray bottle.

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By *andDeeCouple
over a year ago

Ashford

Lol I love this... We have soooo many messages telling me what they'd love to do to me.... And my lovely Husband has great fun answering them all..... Then when he says... What you want my arse and balls sitting on your face they strangely.. Disappear lmao xx

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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Some great responses Fabbers thank you.

I just had one from a couple saying they were gonna make my teeth chatter!! So funny....BLOCK!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember, on another site years ago, someone saying he wanted to tickle my pickle. It gave me the creeps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one off someone saying they 'loved mature women', fair enough if he'd been older than me but he wasn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one the other day asking if I had a good washing machine as he'd like to put his dirty load in me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had one the other day asking if I had a good washing machine as he'd like to put his dirty load in me

That's different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had one today 'oh you'll squirt when I've done with you'!! Yuk.

Anyone else had a cringey message from a Fabber?

"
nope although I had a message from a guy who suggested a mobile gloryhole toilet which I wasnt enamo_ed with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not cringy but got a message the other day that simply said 'hmmmmmmm'

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Are you up for getting brutally pumped?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will do I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You will do I suppose

"
haha awwwww

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By *brnowMan
over a year ago

middlewich

I'm always polite on my messages! Maybe that's where I'm going wrong!??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got one the other day that just said:

'Morning Isabella'

(think it was meant for someone else)

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By *nfinitylandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Referring to a deleted pic... "I would delete that pic if was you mate! Do you really want people to see you fuck a girl with a hairy pussy" sent him a polite reply of "well at least I'm getting some you virgin"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where to begin.....

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By *ooncat123Woman
over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 16/05/17 18:01:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much do you charge,is worst we've had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'd bit fit if it wasnt for your stomach. What happened to it??

Errr 3 babies?"
aww your still fit, well fit, oosh

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

just

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's hard to get half decent messages from the guys here. There are themes that are recurrent, usually involving much of the above, including the aggressive abuse of every hole and inch of my body and soul. That's when they're intelligible.

The late night ones usually entail visiting them as a just about shag - always leave me feeling so grateful for the attention.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'd be here all day if I if I backtracked some of the messages I have received over the years

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By *kmanMan
over a year ago

Letterkenny

"Feel like ive missed out on some cringe worthy messages

Worst ive had was "i want you to sit on my dick and spin"... Like a helicopter??? "

It did make me burst out laughing at work as I read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got one the other day that just said:

'Morning Isabella'

(think it was meant for someone else)

Oh yes! And followed by a full essay on how wonderful I am, how much they want to meet me, date me, marry me. Methinks they forgot to adjust the copy and paste

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I'd be here all day if I if I backtracked some of the messages I have received over the years

Oh just thought of a classic corker I received the other day:

have you ever thought about having your nice bum filled with a liquid, like water or milk for example? Have the pleasure to hold it in and when being able to release it squirt it out of your bum like a little fountain?

(Mods, I have tried to change it) But I bet you understand my natural reaction of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be here all day if I if I backtracked some of the messages I have received over the years

Oh just thought of a classic corker I received the other day:

(Mods, I have tried to change it) But I bet you understand my natural reaction of

Laughing!

Just a little fountain, mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How much do you charge,is worst we've had "

At least they offe_ed money..

I got offe_ed a Rick Astley "tape" and a plastic kettle.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I'd be here all day if I if I backtracked some of the messages I have received over the years

Oh just thought of a classic corker I received the other day:

(Mods, I have tried to change it) But I bet you understand my natural reaction of

Laughing!

Just a little fountain, mind

Bugger off you

That was strange even by my standards in the 8 years I've been here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs: I had one a while ago (a few actually from different guys) where the opening message read: "was are you on the pill?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am constantly swamped with crude unsexy messages from the fairer sex.

I weaker man would have gave in, but I am a man of unbreakable will and will not give up the goods to the first woman that shows an interest In using me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moaners gon moan

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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Just had one....."you're local can I bob over and lick your pussy?"

Erm....NO!

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

I'm not doing anything so I'll tongue fuck your pussy and ass, now

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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

There's certainly a pattern forming on this site! Members who think others will just drop lingerie at the drop of a hat!

Makes me wonder how they get through life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I learnt about filters on here I would often get this from one or two couples.

"I'll let you fuck my wife/gf if I can suck you and make you cum before, she'll be upstairs and you can go up after."

Two things:

A.) I'm not Bi.

B). Do I look like I was born yesterday.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Once had a guy ask if I would consider having sex with him and his dog.

Sad thing was, the dog was the better looking of the two!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cock pic!" Or " cock pic now" I get this regularly and usually from couples.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

"I got told today my ass was so hot hed let me fart on him

He contacted me too!

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

The ones offering money are the most cringeworthy

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By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire

Nothing to say...

I'm just checking none of them are mine!

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By *hooselifeMan
over a year ago

Coventry

""peng"

The over-exaggerated description of a person with good looks or a nice body or both.

Look at her, she's well peng!!

Sorry I had to google it and find out what it meant - lol!

I'm not sure what;s wrong with 'gorgeous' call me old fashion and that

One syllable too many for todays youth! Let's ignore the fact I fall into that demographic

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By *hooselifeMan
over a year ago

Coventry

The worst one so far was along the lines of "please I'll do anything let me suck your cock ill pay u"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got one asking me "how much to let me lick your leg"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got one asking me "how much to let me lick your leg"

Sounds like easy money...

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