FabSwingers.com forum: "No blacks"

By *andsome_Chef88 OP Man
over a year ago

London

I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Some of the profiles on here have things written on them that look similar to the signs you used to see hung in pubs back in the 70's.

What's wrong with saying no or not replying when you get a message if you are that way inclined.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Op, we are from an older generation and terminology for black people has changed over the years. Sometimes people don't know how to refer to black people in a sensitive and 'non racial' way. Thank you for bringing this up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is brexisism lol

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I agree with your sentiment, the word 'blacks' is mostly derogatory.

But isn't BBC normally used in 'looking for' rather than otherwise?

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By *andsome_Chef88 OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I agree with your sentiment, the word 'blacks' is mostly derogatory.

But isn't BBC normally used in 'looking for' rather than otherwise? "

Yes it is. But I personally find it degrading. That's me personally. Most of the black males on here find it as a compliment or reference to call themselves by. But it is not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"

Whereas I've gone for tall white men which I think is even better

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By *xpandmyhorizonsMan
over a year ago

Co. Antrim

I wish I was taller

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"I agree with your sentiment, the word 'blacks' is mostly derogatory.

But isn't BBC normally used in 'looking for' rather than otherwise?

Yes it is. But I personally find it degrading. That's me personally. Most of the black males on here find it as a compliment or reference to call themselves by. But it is not for me. "

I don't find it a compliment at all and people who under with no blacks on their profile I really have to restrain myself from messaging them and tearing them a new one. Simple just say. Only interested in caucasian people. Either their racist or just s@#t at English or maybe a bit of both. Either way there's a lot better ways to word it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Terminology is crucial I agree OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"

They shouldn't even have to mention it. All they need do is not reply or say no thanks. The only reason I can think why someone would say no blacks, men, women or couples is because they're trying to be offensive or just too thick to realise how damn racist they are.

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them. "

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree sometimes language can be used clumsily particularly when its context attempts to express disinterest in a certain demographics,,,,

But hey no-one can make you feel inferior without your own consent ....

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

I usually agree with most of your posts but sexual assault is hardly the same as what is being discussed here.

I'm in no way saying racism isn't awful because it is and it can't be tolerated in this day and age, however, I don't think sexual assault is a valid comparison in this situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I don't like being called 'a tranny' but that depends on the context in which it is used - just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op, we are from an older generation and terminology for black people has changed over the years. Sometimes people don't know how to refer to black people in a sensitive and 'non racial' way. Thank you for bringing this up.

"
Totally agree with this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs."
ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"

Unfortunately there are an awful lot of ignorant people on here, with room temperature IQ's to match.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

I usually agree with most of your posts but sexual assault is hardly the same as what is being discussed here.

I'm in no way saying racism isn't awful because it is and it can't be tolerated in this day and age, however, I don't think sexual assault is a valid comparison in this situation. "

What I'm getting at is you can't tell people what they should be feeling. If a woman came to me with a complaint of harassment I'd shut up and listen. Not least because it's almost impossible for me as a man to understand what she is feeling.

A black guy is offended and a white guy is telling him that he shouldn't be. Is it really that difficult to see how perverse this situation is?

Also, I don't post for people to like me. I try to learn from others opinions whilst providing my own. It may look like I deliberately kick off at people but if you use the green arrow, you'll see that I only "attack" when someone is obviously misguided.

I'm a nice guy really. Just don't say dumb stuff. x

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

I usually agree with most of your posts but sexual assault is hardly the same as what is being discussed here.

I'm in no way saying racism isn't awful because it is and it can't be tolerated in this day and age, however, I don't think sexual assault is a valid comparison in this situation.

A black guy is offended and a white guy is telling him that he shouldn't be. Is it really that difficult to see how perverse this situation is?

I'm a nice guy really. Just don't say dumb stuff. x

I very often think your 'attack' posts are well deserved lol.

I agree that you can't tell people what they should feel, I also agree with the OP that the term 'blacks' is far more offensive than simply saying Caucasian only'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

How do you know it's a white person? They may be mixed race with very light skin, and you've just judged them on the colour of that skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it"

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman
over a year ago

Telford

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

I don't put my preference for a certain type of man on my profile as far as race is concerned My veris should make it pretty clear lol

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

How do you know it's a white person? They may be mixed race with very light skin, and you've just judged them on the colour of that skin."

You got me. I'm racist.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

I think the general tip for ALL profiles is to say what you WANT rather than what you DON'T want. For example, I'd like to meet intelligent people who I can have a nice conversation as well as play with. I'm not going to have stupid fuckers need not apply or ask for someone's highest qualification or job description.

It's just as bad as "BBC chasers" asking you how long your cock is. Seriously, if you do this JUST...STOP!

If you REALLY appreciate and are sympathetic to "black issues", just Google "Sarah Baartman" to see where we're going with this.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"It is brexisism lol"

You really haven't got an effing clue and just like to stir the shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who cares if your "offended".

Really!.

Your legs won't fall off and you wont contract typhus nothing at all happens from being offended except you personally get in a strop over something!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently read a great article about the social implications of having statements like 'No blacks' on dating profiles. It was coming from the standpoint that as a society, we're not very progressive when it comes to race. People may put it down to preference, but I agree that it's insensitive and makes you look like you have some deep seeded issue.

I'll see if I can find it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I agree sometimes language can be used clumsily particularly when its context attempts to express disinterest in a certain demographics,,,,

But hey no-one can make you feel inferior without your own consent ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/05/17 21:09:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

How do you know it's a white person? They may be mixed race with very light skin, and you've just judged them on the colour of that skin.

You got me. I'm racist.

I thought as much. You immediately saw it as a white man "daring" to offer advice to a black man, rather than one fab forumite giving a bit of advice to another.

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By *ilthyDebaucheryWoman
over a year ago

Telford

"I agree with your sentiment, the word 'blacks' is mostly derogatory.

But isn't BBC normally used in 'looking for' rather than otherwise?

Yes it is. But I personally find it degrading. That's me personally. Most of the black males on here find it as a compliment or reference to call themselves by. But it is not for me. "

Yep totally agree! Hate the term BBC and never use it

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By *ptimusDMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I see the point of the OP but personally I don't worry about things I can't change.

Whilst the term might seem derogatory, you'll have to understand that racial sensitivity, or any sensitivities for that matter, isn't often front of mind for most people when they're composing their profile text.

They just want to put something down to attract the type of people they like. This is of course not to say that people can't be dicks about it. But they're never going to be a better version of their true selves on fab.

In fact, Fab is the ideal environment for people to be who they really are under cover of anonymity.

In other words, people can display whatever traits they choose without fear of scrutiny or condemnation.

So for me, I find it best to save my energy for more pleasurable things on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Language is really important. It influences as well as reflects thought, nevermind anything else. People can and do have preferences, but the casual acceptance here of bigoted language to let people know what those preferences are, is sadly not shocking for fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

"
because i state it on my profile.. and someone said why do people need to.

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By *andsome_Chef88 OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I think the general tip for ALL profiles is to say what you WANT rather than what you DON'T want. For example, I'd like to meet intelligent people who I can have a nice conversation as well as play with. I'm not going to have stupid fuckers need not apply or ask for someone's highest qualification or job description.

It's just as bad as "BBC chasers" asking you how long your cock is. Seriously, if you do this JUST...STOP!

If you REALLY appreciate and are sympathetic to "black issues", just Google "Sarah Baartman" to see where we're going with this. "

this post I appreciate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Dad and Grandad are BOTH Black.

I mean BLACCCKKKKKKK.

And you should hear how my grandad talks with my dad.

He uses the 'N' routinely and thinks nothing of it.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs."

I agree - why mention it unless you are racist, take each person on their individual merit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Dad and Grandad are BOTH Black.

I mean BLACCCKKKKKKK.

And you should hear how my grandad talks with my dad.

He uses the 'N' routinely and thinks nothing of it.

That's different...

You should try living here

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"

What does black mean anyway

I have never met anyone with black skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

What? Really ?? Damn. I missed this one.

I should have know better than to get involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Dad and Grandad are BOTH Black.

I mean BLACCCKKKKKKK.

And you should hear how my grandad talks with my dad.

He uses the 'N' routinely and thinks nothing of it.

And your point is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

because i state it on my profile.. and someone said why do people need to. "

OMG! It's like pulling teeth with you. You've stated non white not blacks as the original topic was about. Not much difference in your context but you don't come across as offensive or racist just maybe a little insensitive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BBC BBW are both terms intended to compliment and yet can cause members to grind their teeth and spit feathers, but context is everything.

Btw I'm NOT a BBW I'm a fat 14

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

"Who cares if your "offended".

Really!.

Your legs won't fall off and you wont contract typhus nothing at all happens from being offended except you personally get in a strop over something!.

Agree. It's called personal preference. Don't care if you're sky blue with pink dots, if I don't want that - jog on!

But awww, diddums you're offended... ffs!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Words are words. You can easily figure out who's a bigot/racist.

My mums in the older generation and still whispers when she refers to an black guy or woman. She means no harm it's how she was brought up.

It's attitudes not words.

We are all bigger than this rant. Let it go op. Ignore them.

Yet another white person instructing these uppity negroes to suck it up and move on.

So if a woman gets sexually assaulted she should get over it because "It's just a flesh wound"?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

because i state it on my profile.. and someone said why do people need to.

Chill your beans. Public forum and you asked a question. Then someone else said in this day and age there is no need to state a preference.. just say no when you get a message. And after 18 years swinging my personal experience is Not stating a preference leads to abuse when you politely reply not for you...

And dont see how its insensitive to state what you like or dont like.. people need to stop being so easily offended. Im a fat lass.. and never bothers me if I am not for someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wrote out a big long post about how hard it is to not offend anyone on here....then I deleted it because it would probably offend EVERYONE! So here is the politically correct, non confrontational version...

You are all right in your own way, I hear and understand your grievances but will not judge you on them, you all have the right to feel the way that you do on (insert subject here). If someone says something you find to be offensive/in bad taste/show a lack of tolerance then treat it as a filter, you wouldn't want to meet them anyway, block and move on, you never have to deal with that particular person again.

Namaste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

because i state it on my profile.. and someone said why do people need to.

And dont see how its insensitive to state what you like or dont like.. people need to stop being so easily offended. Im a fat lass.. and never bothers me if I am not for someone. "

What are you on about? I haven't asked any questions

You maybe fat but I'm not gonna say don't contact me because you're fat, I wouldn't judge you either on your appearance. If I had nothing positive to say I would just delete and block if you're not for me.

Like I said, you don't come across as racist you're just a bit insensitive or and really this topic has nothing to do with how you've worded your profile, even though you have changed the wording since your first post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wrote out a big long post about how hard it is to not offend anyone on here....then I deleted it because it would probably offend EVERYONE! So here is the politically correct, non confrontational version...

Namaste

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs. ive tried all ways. If I dont put who i am not interested when you say no thanks.. I found I got told I was Just being racist.

So now prefer to have my sexual preference clear and its cut down the nasty messages and incidents. If someones offended by my sexual preference I lose no sleep over it

And no one would criticise you for doing so. Can't see how your sexual preferences relate to this topic

because i state it on my profile.. and someone said why do people need to.

And dont see how its insensitive to state what you like or dont like.. people need to stop being so easily offended. Im a fat lass.. and never bothers me if I am not for someone.

What are you on about? I haven't asked any questions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe der scured of the dark huh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs."

I would never say our personal preferences on our profile but would politely decline if I didn't think we matched. I think we should always be looking at the person as an individual rather than race,colour.

S x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *G CoupleCouple
over a year ago

kent

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"

Have not read the whole thread so sorry if it's been posted before

While we agree black men/ couples etc etc is the correct term, there are a lot of black guys describing themselves as BBC. So we guess a bit of give and take needed here?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs.

S x"

That's a common sense approach but unfortunately not everyone thinks that way.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs."

Surely in something as personal as sexual contact, expressing a choice as to what you will or won't do is a sensible thing, any words or terminology will be twisted by those who wish to make the poster appear racist just because they are being refused at the very first hurdle, we have no desire to have sexual contact with Black or Asian males or females,... it's a personal choice, call us racist all you like, it's not going to get you laid by us ...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs.

That's not the issue. Read the op it says the issue is with the no blacks statement, like they used to put in B&B windows back in the 70s. It's not right no matter how anyone dresses it up.

If I were a black male and I saw a sign, advert or post on here saying "no blacks" I'd feel hurt and offended. Surely you can see where he's coming from?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put."

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?"

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people? "

It's not about rights. It's about treating others with respect, valuing then equally and not dehumanising then with derogatory language. It's not difficult to use appropriate words to say who you don't want to meet, so why you'd choose to use offensive ones puts you in a pretty poor light.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

That's pretty much my point, if it's offensive abusive or derogatory language with the intent to cause harm, about a certain demographic, then yes I'd certainly understand and support any annoyance and upset.

However when someone gets all indignant when there's no such evidence that a person is intending to be rude or abusive, then I feel it says more about the character and attitude of those that get all indignant than the perceived perpetrator.

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

Or shall we just act maturely and understand that not everyone knows the correct wording to describe their sexual preference, and if not being obviously abusive or derivative about any given demographic within such a diverse collection of people, well just move on with the understanding they'd rather not fuck us?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I think the issue here is between people who feel they can safely disregard anyone from an entire race from being attractive. And those that don't.

Those who don't can't understand how a whole race of people can be prejudged against thier sexual preference.

And it's the language they use to convey this.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning. "

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"
too late ha but its better not to have it at all and allow the people concerned to message and just not reply

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Deliberately putting the cat amongst the pigeons here, but if someone said I can't be friends with black people we would all think them awful racists. Why do we not think that of swingers who have a blanket "no blacks" policy.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Deliberately putting the cat amongst the pigeons here, but if someone said I can't be friends with black people we would all think them awful racists. Why do we not think that of swingers who have a blanket "no blacks" policy. "

Because it's a completely different psychological base between sexual acceptance and social acceptance maybe?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Because it's a completely different psychological base between sexual acceptance and social acceptance maybe? "

Perhaps. I suppose you could argue that if you are straight you are sexist as you think a whole gender unattractive

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it's a completely different psychological base between sexual acceptance and social acceptance maybe?

Perhaps. I suppose you could argue that if you are straight you are sexist as you think a whole gender unattractive

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *andsome_Chef88 OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over

It's 2017 not the 1970s ffs.

That's not the issue. Read the op it says the issue is with the no blacks statement, like they used to put in B&B windows back in the 70s. It's not right no matter how anyone dresses it up.

If I were a black male and I saw a sign, advert or post on here saying "no blacks" I'd feel hurt and offended. Surely you can see where he's coming from?

Exactly this

, it's not about being rejected or that I want. It's the wording. Heck I don't mind if someone said not attracted to black people. But like this guy said earlier you're referring us a unwanted stigma. Not a human. I am sure if I said I don't want no "whites on my profile" I'd be called ignorant and the torches and pitchforks would be out

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people? "

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?"

Because it does t apply within this arena, and no law has been broken.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

If I say 'I don't fancy black/indian/asian people', then if someone wants to have a meltdown 'because I'm obviously racist', then they can get the hell on with it, cause I couldn't give 2 shits about that attempt at an argument

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Regardless of your intention you're still being offensive by saying "no blacks". No one has suggested you're a racist because of your sexual preferences have they? It's the wording ffs.

To be clear....there's no suggestion that you're a thick, ignorant, racist, but the suggestion is that your choice of words is. Can't be much clearer than that really.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

OMG! Read the op. It's not about not liking any race sexually or otherwise, that's your choice and your right and nothing wrong with that. It's about the use of the "NO BLACKS" statement. It's wrong, it's offensive and doesn't belong on here or in real life.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I think the original OP wasn't necessarily about people's preference, (though some people have turned it into that) it's about how they communicate such preference on their profiles.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Regardless of your intention you're still being offensive by saying "no blacks". No one has suggested you're a racist because of your sexual preferences have they? It's the wording ffs.

To be clear....there's no suggestion that you're a thick, ignorant, racist, but the suggestion is that your choice of words is. Can't be much clearer than that really."

If you could stop using the word "you" or "you're" when quoting me, I'd appreciate it, as I haven't at any point used the words you're linking me to

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?

Because it does t apply within this arena, and no law has been broken."

Still doesn't make it right mate. If it wasn't offensive there wouldn't be a law ato all.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands. "

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?

Because it does t apply within this arena, and no law has been broken.

Still doesn't make it right mate. If it wasn't offensive there wouldn't be a law ato all."

With all due respect, you might need to understand the law in relation to this and what's it's purpose is and what it covers.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?

Because it does t apply within this arena, and no law has been broken.

Still doesn't make it right mate. If it wasn't offensive there wouldn't be a law ato all."

To add though, no, in my opinion it doesn't make it right.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have preferences, provided they're tactful about how they express them I suppose. I agree with the op though, "Blacks" does sound a bit archaic and unnecessarily pejorative.

Everyone has preferences whatever they may be, as long as they're respectful about how they articulate them I doubt anyone would raise an eyebrow. Some do seem deliberately inflammatory unfortunately.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People have preferences, provided they're tactful about how they express them I suppose. I agree with the op though, "Blacks" does sound a bit archaic and unnecessarily pejorative.

What I was trying to get across though was is it racism, bigotry, abusive or as you put deliberately inflammatory?

Or is it just pure ignorance, which often I suspect it is, but misinterpreted as something else.

And if one is so passionate about it and so personally slighted, then act within your powers to do something about it.

Personally, I pity their ignorance rather than get upset about it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then"

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?

Because it does t apply within this arena, and no law has been broken.

Still doesn't make it right mate. If it wasn't offensive there wouldn't be a law ato all.

With all due respect, you might need to understand the law in relation to this and what's it's purpose is and what it covers."

To be honest with you I don't care. I just know it's wrong. I might seem like I get on my high horse over things but anything racist, sexist, homophobic etc, where individuals are hurt or offended, singled out or excluded then I can't help but say something. If I'm wrong then I'll learn from it but I won't be researching the law regarding the use of the "no blacks" statement anytime soon as I know, as a decent person, that it's wrong.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding."

Actually, that's bollocks. And you know it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding.

Actually, that's bollocks. And you know it. "

Still trying to tell me I'm doing something I'm not?

No I don't know it at all.

What I do know however is that trying to make innocent (albeit ignorant) people out to be racist, bigoted etc etc out of some misguided sense of personal slight or indignation is far more dangerous and ridiculous than the actions of the perceived perpetrator.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding.

Actually, that's bollocks. And you know it.

Still trying to tell me I'm doing something I'm not?

No I don't know it at all.

It's when they don't learn that their ignorance is wrong and they try to defend their actions. That's dangerous my man. They wouldn't say it or behave that way in public now would they?

If they're just ignorant then I pitty them, but ignorance is no excuse in this day and age.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?"

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding.

Actually, that's bollocks. And you know it.

Still trying to tell me I'm doing something I'm not?

No I don't know it at all.

Rubbish. Language is extremely powerful, and a reflection of the thoughts and values of the person using it; not challenging bigoted language indicates a casual acceptance, not only of the words but the actions behind it. I'd rather the ignorant were educated.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly. "

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

My rights? I'm not a black male so none. So if it's not wrong then why have a law to govern it?

Because it does t apply within this arena, and no law has been broken.

Still doesn't make it right mate. If it wasn't offensive there wouldn't be a law ato all.

With all due respect, you might need to understand the law in relation to this and what's it's purpose is and what it covers."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please."

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets keep it peaceful , I do see where the op is coming from

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights."

Oh dear Kim. Deliberately trying to take the attention from the original topic speaks volumes.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please."

I'm quite happy posting where I am cheers.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding.

Actually, that's bollocks. And you know it.

Still trying to tell me I'm doing something I'm not?

No I don't know it at all.

Agreed there, except language is also powerful and a reflection of the receiver and how they interpret.

Of course in an arena such as this, without the paraverbal communication 70% of intent is lost, so interpretation can easily go astray.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lets keep it peaceful , I do see where the op is coming from "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And as I said, accept them as ignorant and educate the ignorant, if you feel so passionate about it, but don't call them something they are not based on your own wrongful interpretation.

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By *iavelmanMan
over a year ago

Worcester

It is up to individuals to set the criteria for who they will or won't meet. If somebody doesn't want to be contacted by someone who is black, white, asian, fat, short, hairy or has a beard they can say so. I have seen all those on profiles and it just lays it out in simple terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always found it offensive when people state no black men or Asians. Do people really have to put this? If you don't want black men or Asians and either message you, just delete the message. We all have types that are not our cup of tea but we don't list them all, we just check their profile and if they don't appeal to us we press delete and if they persist, block.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights.

Oh dear Kim. Deliberately trying to take the attention from the original topic speaks volumes. "

That poster was replying to a specific comment on the thread. She is as entitled as anyone to post as she wishes.

Threads often take subtle twists and turns. Telling posters to be quiet doesn't help anything.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

White people don't get to decide wether it "does no harm" or wether it's offensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always found it offensive when people state no black men or Asians. Do people really have to put this? If you don't want black men or Asians and either message you, just delete the message. We all have types that are not our cup of tea but we don't list them all, we just check their profile and if they don't appeal to us we press delete and if they persist, block."

On the flip side, what about those profiles that specifically state they want to meet a certain demographic, are they equally offensive?

I'd suggest not so much to those in that demographic that meet them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the flip side, what about those profiles that specifically state they want to meet a certain demographic, are they equally offensive?

I'd suggest not so much to those in that demographic that meet them? "

As I stated, it comes down to how you interpret it, and people, even those who are part of the targeted demographic will do so in different ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights.

Oh dear Kim. Deliberately trying to take the attention from the original topic speaks volumes.

That poster was replying to a specific comment on the thread. She is as entitled as anyone to post as she wishes.

Threads often take subtle twists and turns. Telling posters to be quiet doesn't help anything."

And before you know it we're talking about tits and torso Tuesday. Now that's where I'm off to next as my work here is done.

Nice chatting everyone

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights.

Oh dear Kim. Deliberately trying to take the attention from the original topic speaks volumes.

That poster was replying to a specific comment on the thread. She is as entitled as anyone to post as she wishes.

Threads often take subtle twists and turns. Telling posters to be quiet doesn't help anything.

And before you know it we're talking about tits and torso Tuesday. Now that's where I'm off to next as my work here is done.

Nice chatting everyone

Except she was replying to an on-topic comment.

Thanks for keeping an eye on things for us though.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/05/17 18:48:54]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck me lord!

Half this thread has MASSIVELY misunderstood the question being asked.

The OP is not questioning nationality or even race, he's questioning context of description.

NOT what your sexual preferences are.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"Fuck me lord!

Half this thread has MASSIVELY misunderstood the question being asked.

The OP is not questioning nationality or even race, he's questioning context of description.

NOT what your sexual preferences are.

You do realise, the OP does not even contain a question, right??

*shrugs*

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights.

Oh dear Kim. Deliberately trying to take the attention from the original topic speaks volumes.

That poster was replying to a specific comment on the thread. She is as entitled as anyone to post as she wishes.

Threads often take subtle twists and turns. Telling posters to be quiet doesn't help anything.

And before you know it we're talking about tits and torso Tuesday. Now that's where I'm off to next as my work here is done.

Nice chatting everyone

Except she was replying to an on-topic comment.

Thanks for keeping an eye on things for us though."

Cheers! I couldn't be arsed to explain any further

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with the op, to say it in a way of "no blacks" is a hurtful way with words imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck me lord!

Half this thread has MASSIVELY misunderstood the question being asked.

The OP is not questioning nationality or even race, he's questioning context of description.

NOT what your sexual preferences are.

You do realise, the OP does not even contain a question, right??

*shrugs*

To "question" something, you DON'T have to be asking an actual question.

You can question something by implying.....

Fucking hell.

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By *asybbwCouple
over a year ago

bangor

Surely anyone dumb or insensitive enough to write those things isn't worth a moment of time more than it takes to discard them.

You won't change them, they won't change

Use these notes as a filter

Happy Fabbing x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Fuck me lord!

Half this thread has MASSIVELY misunderstood the question being asked.

The OP is not questioning nationality or even race, he's questioning context of description.

NOT what your sexual preferences are.

Correct, he was commenting on the use of the phrases 'blacks' and 'BBC' . He even made the effort of saying he would prefer to see something like ' No black guys' as it is less offensive in tone.

Ignoring the reasons behind people making that specific comment on their profile, there are always ways to say things.

One person might write 'We go to the gym and prefer toned people' , someone else might write 'no fat people'.

Some people are innocently unaware of causing offence, some don't care if they do and some relish it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck me lord!

Half this thread has MASSIVELY misunderstood the question being asked.

The OP is not questioning nationality or even race, he's questioning context of description.

NOT what your sexual preferences are.

Correct, he was commenting on the use of the phrases 'blacks' and 'BBC' . He even made the effort of saying he would prefer to see something like ' No black guys' as it is less offensive in tone.

Ignoring the reasons behind people making that specific comment on their profile, there are always ways to say things.

One person might write 'We go to the gym and prefer toned people' , someone else might write 'no fat people'.

Some people are innocently unaware of causing offence, some don't care if they do and some relish it."

Yeah..I mean personally I don't care.

As I said earlier in the thread my grandad is Black and my Dad is also Black. They both use the "N" and think nothing of it.

My uncle even calls me 2-tone.

I'm just baffled at the amount of people who misunderstood what the OP actually said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Skin colour on profile pics can be misleading though, especially when viewed on a small screen. In comparison, how offensive would it be for someone to say on a message - "are you black or Asian? Yes? I don't want to meet you then"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I completely understand what you mean. It is no different from a man's profile where he seeks women ans states, "NO Whites"; would be more polite if he stated,"No White women"

Even better would be not to use the word "No", but instead state ones preference. In the example above, he could easily state, "My preference is for Black or Asian women"

- Mrs. J -

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

Theres a whole difference between 'not allowed to be friends' and who the hell I choose to allow inside my body

I understood the OP quite well, thank you

Then why join in with something that has no relevance to the subject?

I was replying to a specific post.. not the OP. Clearly.

Again....not relevant to the topic. Start another thread if you want but try and stay on topic please.

Who made you forum king?

People can post exactly what they want, just because it's not going how the op intended, doesn't give anyone else censorship rights.

Oh dear Kim. Deliberately trying to take the attention from the original topic speaks volumes. "

Ha ha really! Pot, kettle, black darling.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

"White people don't get to decide wether it "does no harm" or wether it's offensive."

But everyone who has a profile on here gets to decide what to write on it. If any individual is offended by it, that's not the profile owner's problem.

Move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I fully understand. I feel that those who choose to use/defend this terminology in this day and age do so to offend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP I fully understand. I feel that those who choose to use/defend this terminology in this day and age do so to offend. "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP I fully understand. I feel that those who choose to use/defend this terminology in this day and age do so to offend. "
.

And it's working!

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

If a straight guys states in his profile he is not into bi guys, TV, TS etc does it mean he is homophopic ?

Or that he is simply not interested and not to waste there own valuable time mailing him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP I fully understand. I feel that those who choose to use/defend this terminology in this day and age do so to offend. .

And it's working!"

Bit 'sick ' really - oops!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"If a straight guys states in his profile he is not into bi guys, TV, TS etc does it mean he is homophopic ?

Or that he is simply not interested and not to waste there own valuable time mailing him."

There are ways of stating a preference. "No trannys" is stating a preference, so is "no fat women" and "no queers" These are as acceptable as "no blacks". Do you understand?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning.

I'm sorry, where does it say in anything I've written that I don't understand that?

More self perceived indignation?

I was writing from the point of view of those that might not understand, and trying to point out that whilst they may not, people are still seeing abuse where none is intended.

People are quick to get all huffy about something that isn't there.

A point well proven perhaps?

Nevertheless, regardless of the intent, it's divisive and dehumanising,and you are still downplaying the impact of that, so my point still stands.

In your opinion, in plenty of others opinions, it doesn't, so I'll stick with it thanks

Alrighty then

Thanks, because I'd prefer not to be made out to be doing something I'm not.

The only way something becomes dehumanising and have a negative impact is if you allow it to, particularly without understanding.

Actually, that's bollocks. And you know it. "

look I was right and you were all wrong just live with it

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Ok, here's a question, replace "no Blacks or Asians, not into cross dressed males or people who could do with losing a few stone" with a non offensive statement in your eyes, (still not interested in play with any of these btw, no matter how it's worded).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, here's a question, replace "no Blacks or Asians, not into cross dressed males or people who could do with losing a few stone" with a non offensive statement in your eyes, (still not interested in play with any of these btw, no matter how it's worded).

Simply state what you want not what you don't want. For example you might be only interested in tall, white, straight males with blonde hair and blue eyes with no exceptions.

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

So that just proves my point, you are not interested in terminology, just moaning because you are part of the group we exclude, your opinion is your opinion, don't try to convince us that yours is the only right way, our way works for us, this is a grown ups games, just block us and move on, saves us doing it to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We as a couple have been called rascist for saying to a couple not for us because we arent rascist just not into that just the same as not meeting tv's or ts's ect as hubby isnt into that neither am i.

We will still socialise just wont have fun with them.

You are always going to offend someone my advice be yourself have fun and if the worst comes to the worst theres always the block button!

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I think I'd prefer "No black (men or couples)" rather than "Blacks or No BBC" on a profile.

I understand most people may not mean any harm but correct wording can be key here, a slight word can make you seem/look like a bigot. And I don't want to be labled as a BBC either. Sorry rant over"

If it's offensive move on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So that just proves my point, you are not interested in terminology, just moaning because you are part of the group we exclude, your opinion is your opinion, don't try to convince us that yours is the only right way, our way works for us, this is a grown ups games, just block us and move on, saves us doing it to you.

Of course I'm interested in terminology as mentioned several times previously. Just to confirm it's the " NO blacks" statement that I don't think is right and for the record, looking at your profile, I'm not part of any group you exclude.

Just because I don't like offensive behaviour against a particular group doesn't mean I'm part of that group. You can exclude who you want and it's your absolute right to. Just don't assume it's only people from that group that'll be offended or find your terminology wrong and hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to get offended all day by shit like bad parking, wearing socks with sandals, bellies hanging out from t-shirts.

Offense is subjective, just stop being offended by it

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

This really isn't complicated. The OP wasn't complaining about people choosing not to meet certain races / colours. The discussion is supposed to be only about terminology.

Is it difficult to see the difference in these profile phrases:

1. If we don't reply take it as a polite 'no thanks'

2. We prefer to meet other white couples.

3. We prefer not to meet black or Asian guys.

4. NO BLACKS OR ASIANS.

5. No Ni***s or Pa**s

None actually offend me, but range from acceptable to deliberately offensive / illegal. Why is it hard to distinguish the differences between them?

If someone doesn't have the ability, or care, how they come across to others and be able to consider other peoples feelings, I would also be concerned how they were in a swinging scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This really isn't complicated. The OP wasn't complaining about people choosing not to meet certain races / colours. The discussion is supposed to be only about terminology.

Is it difficult to see the difference in these profile phrases:

1. If we don't reply take it as a polite 'no thanks'

2. We prefer to meet other white couples.

3. We prefer not to meet black or Asian guys.

4. NO BLACKS OR ASIANS.

5. No Ni***s or Pa**s

None actually offend me, but range from acceptable to deliberately offensive / illegal. Why is it hard to distinguish the differences between them?

If someone doesn't have the ability, or care, how they come across to others and be able to consider other peoples feelings, I would also be concerned how they were in a swinging scenario."

Spot on

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

Just because I don't like offensive behaviour against a particular group doesn't mean I'm part of that group. You can exclude who you want and it's your absolute right to.

Just don't assume it's only people from that group that'll be offended or find your terminology wrong and hurtful."

But is it anyone else's business if you're just not bothered about that? If someone is offended or offended on other people's behalf then just move on.

Why all this fuss?

I'm a large lady, I don't consider myself BBW, but would ignore profiles that use that terminology.

There are plenty more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because I don't like offensive behaviour against a particular group doesn't mean I'm part of that group. You can exclude who you want and it's your absolute right to.

Just don't assume it's only people from that group that'll be offended or find your terminology wrong and hurtful.

But is it anyone else's business if you're just not bothered about that? If someone is offended or offended on other people's behalf then just move on.

Why all this fuss?

I'm a large lady, I don't consider myself BBW, but would ignore profiles that use that terminology.

There are plenty more.

No one needs to be offended on anyone's behalf to feel that something's wrong. I'm not Jewish but care deeply that people where massacred in the holocaust.

I know it's probably an extreme analogy but you haven't seemed to grasp why someone who isn't black thinks it's wrong when a hurtful statement is used against that particular group.

Time and time again people have commented on here trying to respectfully explain this and you just don't get it and miss the point by a country mile.

You're a large woman who has preferences and I wouldn't expect anyone to criticise you for it. I'd actually be just as quick to defend you and others like you if I saw a sign or statement saying no fatties etc.

A profile that states their preferred body type is slim, athletic or toned isn't being hurtful to fat or large people, it's just a preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a fine line between "preferences" and "isms"

I'm not into telling people what to think and feel - so I just have my own set of rules for myself and let everyone get on with theirs.

I think to state your "preferences" on a sex site is a way of filtering out the ones you don't want.

I don't on my profile because I don't feel the need to offend people as it clearly does!

Im not going to change my preferences I'm simply not going to answer the ones I don't want.

I fit into a lot of minority groups I don't expect everyone to find me attractive - but I'd rather not have it shived in my face with a profile saying no fat black old women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shoved *

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By *im_66Woman
over a year ago

Bradford

Just because I don't like offensive behaviour against a particular group doesn't mean I'm part of that group. You can exclude who you want and it's your absolute right to.

Just don't assume it's only people from that group that'll be offended or find your terminology wrong and hurtful.

But is it anyone else's business if you're just not bothered about that? If someone is offended or offended on other people's behalf then just move on.

Why all this fuss?

I'm a large lady, I don't consider myself BBW, but would ignore profiles that use that terminology.

There are plenty more.

No one needs to be offended on anyone's behalf to feel that something's wrong. I'm not Jewish but care deeply that people where massacred in the holocaust.

I know it's probably an extreme analogy but you haven't seemed to grasp why someone who isn't black thinks it's wrong when a hurtful statement is used against that particular group.

Time and time again people have commented on here trying to respectfully explain this and you just don't get it and miss the point by a country mile.

A profile that states their preferred body type is slim, athletic or toned isn't being hurtful to fat or large people, it's just a preference. "

But it's not your job to be the judge of what a "hurtful statement" on someone else's profile is.

It's all personal and therefore subjective, as are people's preferences AND use of terminology. I haven't missed the point at all.

This is a swingers site, not UNESCO, one last time - if you don't like it- move on.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

If I see a profile "no blacks" I move onto the next one. Am I upset or offended? Am I fuck!

I really don't care if I'm not someone I'll never meet cup of tea. I could care less what terminology they use...perhaps at 56 years of age born in this country hearing every derogatory term I just can't muster the energy to be offended by nonentities...who knows, that's me.

Some people will be offended, not my place to tell them they shouldn't be, I would concentrate on those interested in me...but hey...what do I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got no honkys written on mine but in these pc days I may change it to no crackpots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because I don't like offensive behaviour against a particular group doesn't mean I'm part of that group. You can exclude who you want and it's your absolute right to.

Just don't assume it's only people from that group that'll be offended or find your terminology wrong and hurtful.

But is it anyone else's business if you're just not bothered about that? If someone is offended or offended on other people's behalf then just move on.

Why all this fuss?

I'm a large lady, I don't consider myself BBW, but would ignore profiles that use that terminology.

There are plenty more.

No one needs to be offended on anyone's behalf to feel that something's wrong. I'm not Jewish but care deeply that people where massacred in the holocaust.

I know it's probably an extreme analogy but you haven't seemed to grasp why someone who isn't black thinks it's wrong when a hurtful statement is used against that particular group.

Time and time again people have commented on here trying to respectfully explain this and you just don't get it and miss the point by a country mile.

A profile that states their preferred body type is slim, athletic or toned isn't being hurtful to fat or large people, it's just a preference.

But it's not your job to be the judge of what a "hurtful statement" on someone else's profile is.

It's all personal and therefore subjective, as are people's preferences AND use of terminology. I haven't missed the point at all.

This is a swingers site, not UNESCO, one last time - if you don't like it- move on. "

Yes you're right that it's not my job to be the judge of what's hurtful, just as people shouldn't have to point out to a grown woman what's hurtful and what isn't in this day and age.

Again and again I've reiterated that it's not about preference but you keep bringing it up as if to move away from what the op was about.

Now as for this being a swingers site, it certainly doesn't mean you can be offensive towards others and you telling me to put up or shut up won't ever make you right.

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

You are part of a group we would exclude, scousers, don't much fancy having our wheels nicked while you are dogging us ...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the issue here is between people who feel they can safely disregard anyone from an entire race from being attractive. And those that don't.

Those who don't can't understand how a whole race of people can be prejudged against thier sexual preference.

And it's the language they use to convey this. "

I am most attracted to Caucasians but in the hope that a person from an ethnic minority group is attractive (in my eyes), I won't put "whites only". However, I do understand why members in my position do put that as a filter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We actually run holiday lets, and wouldn't dream of putting up a sign "no blacks", but as a sexual preference it's exactly what we put.

So what's the difference. Do you understand why it's wrong to put something like that up in your holiday let's?

Because they're providing a public service/business which is governed by laws?

As swingers, they are not.

I'm trying to understand exactly which of your "rights" you feel have been abused, by a profile stating they don't wish to meet a certain group of people?

Some words will offend some and not others within any given demographic that describes them.

Shall we all get indignant, shall we all fill our profiles with every pervievable word so as not to offend the over sensitive, or those looking to jump aboard a morale horse?

The fact you don't realise 'blacks' is derogatory and dehumanising is... not surprising, given your reasoning. "

Tbh I think it's more likely to be lazy english than having ill-intent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are part of a group we would exclude, scousers, don't much fancy having our wheels nicked while you are dogging us ...lol

Ha ha I like it. You're safe though because I don't do dogging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will write on their profile what they feel is for them.

If people get offended that's what the block button is for.

I have read some horrific written profiles on Fab regarding whites / black / Asians / gays / trans / cd / fat / thin / hairy etc. You get the picture. just block them then you don't see them again

People are free to use the site as they wish within the rules laid out .

I really couldn't give zero fucks about strangers views thoughts beliefs wording on an online sex based site that I will never meet anyway .

Not here to change the world here to mingle and get laid / have fun etc not waste limited time mulling over profiles with wanky text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Racist speech is a form of offensive speech. Offensive speech is deliberate public or private language intended to ridicule, pose a threat, or belittle a person or persons because of cultural or racial origin, religious practice, political beliefs, or sexual orientation. Use of such language is usually intended to create discomfort in the person or persons to whom the language is directed. It may reflect gross insensitivity to cultural difference. - Dr Molefe Kete Asante

So with that in mind, by definition, are the users of such wording being offensive?

"It may reflect gross insensitivity to cultural difference" is, I believe much closer to what is actually going on, rather than intent to offend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Racist speech is a form of offensive speech. Offensive speech is deliberate public or private language intended to ridicule, pose a threat, or belittle a person or persons because of cultural or racial origin, religious practice, political beliefs, or sexual orientation. Use of such language is usually intended to create discomfort in the person or persons to whom the language is directed. It may reflect gross insensitivity to cultural difference. - Dr Molefe Kete Asante

So with that in mind, by definition, are the users of such wording being offensive?

"It may reflect gross insensitivity to cultural difference" is, I believe much closer to what is actually going on, rather than intent to offend."

But to call such users of the words bigoted, racist or whatever else you wish to label them otherwise, I believe puts the accuser closer to that definition than the accused.

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By *irceWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

Maybe those bad bad pink/brown/black/white/yellow folk should just shut up and put up...

In this day and age if you state your preferred area of enjoyment yall be a troll, sooo what would be the right protocol to address this now...

I get a no thanks not my thing with some choice words at times,like so what....Seems peeps wish to stir the hate pot all the dam time...we are all one under any skin....but you like what you like....and to offend via meeting preference is not done on purpose all the time im sure...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omfg.

None so blind etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always found the race thing a tricky one to deal with, personally creed is not an issue we are all one race.

"human"

Although I admit some knobs on here barely reach the criteria.

Ihad a black girlfriend once, and I asked after going for a bloody coffee if she was offended by me describing her as black. She replied "are you offended by lilly white arse" I replied no and she said "then shut the fuck up"

Ah so long ago but it still makes me smile.

Fuck race, fuck creed, fuck colour.

Everyone's beautiful some of you just need to look a little closer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When meeting single men, we prefer straight, fit, Caucasian men. And that is what we say. We find that there is no reason to state who we do not wish to meet as anyone with an ounce of intelligence knows whether they are Caucasian and fit and heterosexual, or not

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When meeting single men, we prefer straight, fit, Caucasian men. And that is what we say. We find that there is no reason to state who we do not wish to meet as anyone with an ounce of intelligence knows whether they are Caucasian and fit and heterosexual, or not

- Mrs. J -"

And ability to read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- Mrs. J -

And ability to read

We'll add to to our profile

Oh, that won't work

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg.

None so blind etc. "

I know. I'm reduced to just shaking my head now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- Mrs. J -

And ability to read

We'll add to to our profile

Oh, that won't work

- Mrs. J -"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg.

None so blind etc.

I know. I'm reduced to just shaking my head now. "

I'm not even sure why I came back. I'm clearly kinkier than I realised

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

on the bright side... only another 15-20 or so posts to go, and the white knights can gallop off into the sunset til the next thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg.

None so blind etc.

I know. I'm reduced to just shaking my head now.

I'm not even sure why I came back. I'm clearly kinkier than I realised "

Really? And you look so innocent!!

Ish lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg.

None so blind etc.

I know. I'm reduced to just shaking my head now.

I'm not even sure why I came back. I'm clearly kinkier than I realised

Really? And you look so innocent!!

Ish lol

I clearly have a masochistic leaning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg.

None so blind etc.

I know. I'm reduced to just shaking my head now.

I'm not even sure why I came back. I'm clearly kinkier than I realised

Really? And you look so innocent!!

Ish lol

I clearly have a masochistic leaning "

I don't, by the way!

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Black

Coloured

PoC

All have one thing in common, someone somewhere will always find which one you use, while someone else will demand you use said term when referring to them.

You can't please everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"on the bright side... only another 15-20 or so posts to go, and the white knights can gallop off into the sunset til the next thread

Four?

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"on the bright side... only another 15-20 or so posts to go, and the white knights can gallop off into the sunset til the next thread

Four?"

maybe 8 for the sneaky buggers??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"on the bright side... only another 15-20 or so posts to go, and the white knights can gallop off into the sunset til the next thread

Four?

maybe 8 for the sneaky buggers??"

Only if they start composing their posts before the 175 is up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that escalated quickly... not sure who in 2017 thinks writing, saying, thinking 'No blacks' is acceptable.. ignorant, racist or some deep sub conscious bias, anyone trying to defend that sort of language is guilty of the same.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

When I see 'No blacks' I change it to 'nob lacks' and then it makes perfect sense.

On a smaller point of interest, in the last poster on this thread so thanks to everyone on here who has sent me a message saying what delicious looking feet I have. Your sole will go to heaven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sneaky

but nothing useful to add except that it is always better to ask those who are affected how they wish to be addressed

- Mrs. J -

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