FabSwingers.com forum: Honeys hotline

By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

Welcome to my hotline, how can I help you this evening?

I will try my best to advise you on all matters from diy to *well you know*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there'd be enough posts in this thread if I were to start, Honey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just want someone to cuddle me please and stroke my hair.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"I don't think there'd be enough posts in this thread if I were to start, Honey

Oh BG try me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im just popping in to say hi

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"I just want someone to cuddle me please and stroke my hair. "

smusher to bed 6 please.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"im just popping in to say hi

Hello

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

How do I cure a case of Forum Butthurt?

I'm asking for a friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just want someone to cuddle me please and stroke my hair. "

Sorry. I can't help you there.

Call me when you want ruined!

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By *aneAndTarzanCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"How do I cure a case of Forum Butthurt?

I'm asking for a friend"

You get it kissed better of course.

Tell your friend to bend over

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Honey I need help. How do I convince a stubborn poorly lady to take to her sick bed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My toilet cistern keeps overfilling fs any diy tits?

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Read my profile and pimp me out

Probably more of a visual then a hotline though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tips*

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just want someone to cuddle me please and stroke my hair.

Sorry. I can't help you there.

Call me when you want ruined!

Indeed I shall when I'm fixed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im just popping in to say hi

Hello

can i be cheeky and snog you as well - whilst im here would be a waste not to

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Honey I need help. How do I convince a stubborn poorly lady to take to her sick bed?

You would most certainly have to carry her there, cuddle her *restrain and stroke her hair until she falls asleep.

Or you know, drug her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Honey

Could you tell this taxi driver that he isn't Lewis Hamilton and I don't want whiplash.

Not that sort anyway

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"My toilet cistern keeps overfilling fs any diy tits? "

Call a plumber

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"im just popping in to say hi

Hello

can i be cheeky and snog you as well - whilst im here would be a waste not to

Ok. Pucker up

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?"

Tried that!

Failed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Welcome to my hotline, how can I help you this evening?

I will try my best to advise you on all matters from diy to *well you know*

"
I have a problem how do I install a flitch beam

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Hi Honey

Could you tell this taxi driver that he isn't Lewis Hamilton and I don't want whiplash.

Not that sort anyway

I'm not great at communicating with taxi drivers Kinger. I tend to offend them but ok sure.

"Oi drive, slow the fuck down in rattlin' around like a rogue Orange back here"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im just popping in to say hi

Hello

can i be cheeky and snog you as well - whilst im here would be a waste not to

Ok. Pucker up

thank you

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

Tried that!

Failed

Nail polish remover...

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"Honey I need help. How do I convince a stubborn poorly lady to take to her sick bed?

You would most certainly have to carry her there, cuddle her *restrain and stroke her hair until she falls asleep.

Or you know, drug her."

I am fairly certain that the latter solution is frowned upon. I will go for with the first.

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

I nearly pooped my shoulder out taking an arse pic, help needed so this doesn't happen again please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My toilet cistern keeps overfilling fs any diy tits?

Call a plumber

"
bend the ball cock lever so it doesn't over fill , reckon the lever could be faulty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Honey

Could you tell this taxi driver that he isn't Lewis Hamilton and I don't want whiplash.

Not that sort anyway

I'm not great at communicating with taxi drivers Kinger. I tend to offend them but ok sure.

"Oi drive, slow the fuck down in rattlin' around like a rogue Orange back here""

Thanks toots

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"Welcome to my hotline, how can I help you this evening?

I will try my best to advise you on all matters from diy to *well you know*

I have a problem how do I install a flitch beam "

That ain't no diy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a good excuse. My long term buddy wants Skype sex (not real sex) later, and I don't.

So I don't have to put out I need a good get out lie.

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Had a shit day tbh,and have that feeling I wouldn't be missed if I did a Reginald perrin.

Any advice for me?

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I need a good excuse. My long term buddy wants Skype sex (not real sex) later, and I don't.

So I don't have to put out I need a good get out lie. "

WiFi on the blink!

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"I nearly pooped my shoulder out taking an arse pic, help needed so this doesn't happen again please. "

You need someone to take photos

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

good evening hotline....is it going to be sunbath...sorry ..working hard in the sun weather tomorrow ?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I nearly pooped my shoulder out taking an arse pic, help needed so this doesn't happen again please. "

That would have been some weird shit

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"I need a good excuse. My long term buddy wants Skype sex (not real sex) later, and I don't.

So I don't have to put out I need a good get out lie. "

There is only one solution...upset stomach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honey it's only Wednesday but I want to drink ALL THE WINE already

Do I go to bed after one glass and be fresh for anotger boring day at work tomorrow?

Or shall I drink ALL OF IT and possibly shag someone completely inappropriate

???

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Miss.Honey how long will I be poorly for?

#yesiwantsympathy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

Tried that!

Failed

try hand sanitiser - the type with alcohol in

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"good evening hotline....is it going to be sunbath...sorry ..working hard in the sun weather tomorrow ?

The met predicts showers nationwide

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"Honey it's only Wednesday but I want to drink ALL THE WINE already

Do I go to bed after one glass and be fresh for anotger boring day at work tomorrow?

Or shall I drink ALL OF IT and possibly shag someone completely inappropriate

???"

You know the answer.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Miss.Honey how long will I be poorly for?

#yesiwantsympathy"

As long as I am poorly.

Me too, plus cuddles

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Honey it's only Wednesday but I want to drink ALL THE WINE already

Do I go to bed after one glass and be fresh for anotger boring day at work tomorrow?

Or shall I drink ALL OF IT and possibly shag someone completely inappropriate

???"

Work is boring so a hangover will mix it up a bit.

Have the bottle and get some sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need a good excuse. My long term buddy wants Skype sex (not real sex) later, and I don't.

So I don't have to put out I need a good get out lie.

WiFi on the blink!

He's WhatsApping me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kind of want sex but kind of don't and can't be arsed finding a victim either.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Had a shit day tbh,and have that feeling I wouldn't be missed if I did a Reginald perrin.

Any advice for me?

If I ignore you will it help? Liike a trial run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need a good excuse. My long term buddy wants Skype sex (not real sex) later, and I don't.

So I don't have to put out I need a good get out lie.

There is only one solution...upset stomach "

He's already asked me how I am.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"I kind of want sex but kind of don't and can't be arsed finding a victim either."

Your wife...or mistress surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My toilet cistern keeps overfilling fs any diy tits?

Call a plumber

Aye no shit sherlock fs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Welcome to my hotline, how can I help you this evening?

I will try my best to advise you on all matters from diy to *well you know*

I have a problem how do I install a flitch beam

That ain't no diy! "
I have to do it myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My toilet cistern keeps overfilling fs any diy tits?

Call a plumber

bend the ball cock lever so it doesn't over fill , reckon the lever could be faulty "

Am not touching no ball cock fs

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

Tried that!

Failed

Make up remover xx

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"My toilet cistern keeps overfilling fs any diy tits?

Call a plumber

Aye no shit sherlock fs

I know one, he's useless. Let me touch his ball cock though and he does like nipples

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

"I nearly pooped my shoulder out taking an arse pic, help needed so this doesn't happen again please.

That would have been some weird shit

popped ffs

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Honey I need your advice about *you know* Do I tell my boss I want him to bend me over his desk?

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"Welcome to my hotline, how can I help you this evening?

I will try my best to advise you on all matters from diy to *well you know*

I have a problem how do I install a flitch beam

That ain't no diy! I have to do it myself "

Google is your friend. I like RSJs better...

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

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"Honey I need your advice about *you know* Do I tell my boss I want him to bend me over his desk?

Send him a note with with picture of you bent over his desk

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Miss.Honey how long will I be poorly for?

#yesiwantsympathy

As long as I am poorly.

Me too, plus cuddles "

Still? Oh no I hope this isn't a long drawn out poorliness

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

Tried that!

Failed

Make up remover xx"

Nail varnish remover or bleach

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Oh I have a dilemma... a man I hardly know has leant me his car for two days. Its not just any car! I thought it was a genuine act of kindness however now I wonder if its stolen or there's a dead body in the back lol

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"Miss.Honey how long will I be poorly for?

#yesiwantsympathy

As long as I am poorly.

Me too, plus cuddles

Still? Oh no I hope this isn't a long drawn out poorliness

Yep. Bed rest needs to happen instead of a day in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

Tried that!

Failed

Make up remover xx

Nail varnish remover or bleach

sand paper - last resort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a way to make money by doing absolutely nothing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Welcome to my hotline, how can I help you this evening?

I will try my best to advise you on all matters from diy to *well you know*

I have a problem how do I install a flitch beam

That ain't no diy! I have to do it myself

Google is your friend. I like RSJs better..."
ha a piece of metal not easy to adjust

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"Honey! I need help! My hair dye has stained my neck pink!!

Now come on Pinky, this isn't your first rodeo.

Baby wipes?

Tried that!

Failed

Make up remover xx

Nail varnish remover or bleach

sand paper - last resort

Mix up a paste of ash and shampoo. Rub that on the stain and rinse. It really works. Unfortunately I haven't smoked in nearly a year so ash is hard to come by.

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By *iss.Honey OP Woman
over a year ago

...

"Is there a way to make money by doing absolutely nothing?"

Sign on?

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