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Argh! Some men...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This isn't related to fab

Years ago, when I was in infant school, I was friends with a boy, and eight years ago we reconnected on Facebook, and throughout that time there's been attraction and flirting in between relationships, but he basically lives on the other side of the country so we haven't seen each other.

Now he's revealed that he's moving to Australia for at least a year early next year, so my initial reaction was wanting to see him before he goes, and his reaction was if he has the chance. Added to that, he's forever telling me he's always cared so much for me, more than he thinks I care for him, how beautiful he thinks I am and so on, but he later shrugs it off.

I don't know whether to be cynical or to take a chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't related to fab

Years ago, when I was in infant school, I was friends with a boy, and eight years ago we reconnected on Facebook, and throughout that time there's been attraction and flirting in between relationships, but he basically lives on the other side of the country so we haven't seen each other.

Now he's revealed that he's moving to Australia for at least a year early next year, so my initial reaction was wanting to see him before he goes, and his reaction was if he has the chance. Added to that, he's forever telling me he's always cared so much for me, more than he thinks I care for him, how beautiful he thinks I am and so on, but he later shrugs it off.

I don't know whether to be cynical or to take a chance. "

Sounds like he's keeping you on short leash, as it were, in case he's ever in the area. Now he's moving away, he doesn't need to bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is your gut telling you?

To me it sounds like the talk is there but when it comes to face to face he isn't sure.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think the key may be in the following sentence:

"Added to that, he's forever telling me he's always cared so much for me, more than he thinks I care for him, how beautiful he thinks I am and so on, but he later shrugs it off."

If he thinks he cares for you more than you do him, is he putting up a shield to protect himself in case his feelings aren't reciprocated? Just a thought.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I would have shrugged him off some time ago in all honesty.

Listen to what your head is telling you. Or write about it, that always helps me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm glad I have some cynical responses

When I first found out he was going I panicked because I thought he was going for good, but it'll only be a year or two - would we realistically meet in that time if he was staying here? Probably not.

GeminiMan - you have a point! He's self concious and he does shy away from emotions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would have shrugged him off some time ago in all honesty.

Listen to what your head is telling you. Or write about it, that always helps me."

My head is telling me to be VERY cynical and suspicious and to not give him a great amount of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would expect you to let it go and then run to the airport last second for a reconnecting kiss like they do in the movies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to your heart.....lol yeah find another dude !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he was that into you he'd put the effort into seeing you.

If be can afford to travel to Australia then be could afford the rail fare to see you and tell you how much he cares, in person.

Don't wait on him. Life tour life and if you do ever meet up then you do, but if not then there is plenty more men out there whomare a lot less complicated and more emotionally available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't related to fab

Years ago, when I was in infant school, I was friends with a boy, and eight years ago we reconnected on Facebook, and throughout that time there's been attraction and flirting in between relationships, but he basically lives on the other side of the country so we haven't seen each other.

Now he's revealed that he's moving to Australia for at least a year early next year, so my initial reaction was wanting to see him before he goes, and his reaction was if he has the chance. Added to that, he's forever telling me he's always cared so much for me, more than he thinks I care for him, how beautiful he thinks I am and so on, but he later shrugs it off.

I don't know whether to be cynical or to take a chance. "

He just wants a shag

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If he was that into you he'd put the effort into seeing you.

If be can afford to travel to Australia then be could afford the rail fare to see you and tell you how much he cares, in person.

Don't wait on him. Life tour life and if you do ever meet up then you do, but if not then there is plenty more men out there whomare a lot less complicated and more emotionally available."

You're entirely right about if he can afford to go to Australia he can afford to come to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I guy says "if I get the chance"...

He's kind of saying "you're nice but I'm not that into you".

I'd let it go.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"

GeminiMan - you have a point! He's self concious and he does shy away from emotions."

Maybe you need to lay it on the line for him then

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By *ensualguy101Man
over a year ago

Orpington

If he really wanted you, he'd have done something about it before now. It's easy to "slap on the love" but you have to look for proof. Going to Australia isn't a good start...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truth . He keep you as a rescue boat. Is better have something sure if I visit uk from nothing. If he have same feeling to you , then you will be not only one who's trying be together. He will do the same thing trying not go or take you with him . Compromise in the last scenario. But now u can loose everything and him nothing . Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did everything to be around someone who I was loved . Lost house cars bikes . Just to be close . But after when I did lost and was reject after what I go thru then I moved and start work what was waiting 2 years try to be for someone .

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Playing games. If he wanted you he would have come and got you. Don't waste your emotions or time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See him when he is back. Don't rush to see him before he goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally think that if he cares about you as much as he's letting on, he'll make the time and arrangements to see you, especially as he's going away for a year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be a fall back.

Although he could genuinely find it hard to convey what he wants.

Pick up the phone and speak to him.

Perhaps suggest meeting halfway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say..What's the worst that could happen

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"If he really wanted you, he'd have done something about it before now. It's easy to "slap on the love" but you have to look for proof. Going to Australia isn't a good start... "

Hehehe, I can just hear you say that last line.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You've all basically clarified what I already kinda knew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say keep it simple. Offer a day to get together, like you say if he can go down under he can get a train. If he says no, then fuck it you aren't missing out on much: how years have you gone without this guy, what's one more?

Secondly what do you really want out of this and with him? If you are thinking along the lines of love actually, then I say you need a slap - I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Ultimately it is down to you, but you have a fair few people here telling you what's up and I can tell you know what to do really.

All the best.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I say keep it simple. Offer a day to get together, like you say if he can go down under he can get a train. If he says no, then fuck it you aren't missing out on much: how years have you gone without this guy, what's one more?

Secondly what do you really want out of this and with him? If you are thinking along the lines of love actually, then I say you need a slap - I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Ultimately it is down to you, but you have a fair few people here telling you what's up and I can tell you know what to do really.

All the best."

I've made up my mind as previously mentioned.

Love?! Definitely NOT with him!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Judge by his actions, more than his words.

How much effort is he investing now into meeting you, whilst he's relatively close?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Judge by his actions, more than his words.

How much effort is he investing now into meeting you, whilst he's relatively close?"

He's not.

He's given me the whole 'oh I've even gone as far as looking at train tickets' spiel before. I was entirely unconvinced.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You already know what to do. Catch a train over to his town, pretend to him that you're in the area anyway, and secretly look into the possibility of going to Oz with him. I know I know I know. I'm incorrigibly and unrealistically romantic but... really... what is the point of not being like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Judge by his actions, more than his words.

How much effort is he investing now into meeting you, whilst he's relatively close?"

This. It's shit! Sorry OP.

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