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"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford. Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans. For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose." Le sèsh  | |||
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"Oh was this the emmerdale story? Tbh people reading my profile and friend in rl know my situation and that im not working right now so money is non existent for me, even when i did have a lot of spare cash i would be careful with it just incase of emergencies... or i found something pretty at cheshire oaks and had to buy it there and then " no it was Denise Fox in Eastenders.. she ended a relationship because he asked what she was hiding ad she bottled up then just ended it with him, she is also avoiding family holidays saying 'she cant be around her sister for a whole week'.. its actually all just lack of money. | |||
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"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford. Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans. For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose. Le sèsh "I love lé sesh but when you see someone borrowing for wonga to pay another loan shark  | |||
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"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford. Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans. For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose." from personal experience i used to say 'im not feeling it' or 'im tired' etc.. but then i had a friend that took it all rather personal and asked me outright if it was her that i was avoiding.. felt awful that she was feeling that. I had a little cry and just said 'it was lack of funds'.. she called me a twat, gave me a hug and we just been honest ever since | |||
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"Oh was this the emmerdale story? Tbh people reading my profile and friend in rl know my situation and that im not working right now so money is non existent for me, even when i did have a lot of spare cash i would be careful with it just incase of emergencies... or i found something pretty at cheshire oaks and had to buy it there and then no it was Denise Fox in Eastenders.. she ended a relationship because he asked what she was hiding ad she bottled up then just ended it with him, she is also avoiding family holidays saying 'she cant be around her sister for a whole week'.. its actually all just lack of money. " Ah ok.. i caught a bit of emmerdale tonight and sam saying he couldnt take someone on a second date because he bought his son trainers instead and lost out on the relationship with her, common theme it seems at the moment | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. " Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think | |||
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"Better to make excuses or just be honest rather than try fund a lifestyle you can't afford. Unfortunately a lot of people do the latter. I've known a few lads who earn enough to live on but piss it all up the wall and rely on pay day loans. For some they'd rather borrow then miss a weekend out I suppose. Le sèsh
I love lé sesh but when you see someone borrowing for wonga to pay another loan shark "Agreed. Also what the hell are my diacritics up to this eve?!  | |||
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"Nah. ..I've always said that I don't have the money for stuff. I don't see the point in making excuses and things harder for yourself. " I like to think im like that now.. i used to be riddled with worry, guilt, anxiety. Now i just dont have the energy to hide behind a front. | |||
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" Ah ok.. i caught a bit of emmerdale tonight and sam saying he couldnt take someone on a second date because he bought his son trainers instead and lost out on the relationship with her, common theme it seems at the moment " Ah yeah i saw that too! Probably the combination of both story lines made me think more about money in general. | |||
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"It is still such a taboo isn't it? And so emotive, people often base their self worth on their salary or fear that others will determine their worth by it. It's stupid. But I understand it. " Its crazy but i agree.. i feel if i get paid more for a job i am worth more as a person. | |||
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"We've experienced some very tough times financially especially when our children were small. I used to avoid social events where things were being sold and if friends were going shopping and for lunch I'd be "busy". Daft really but I felt that if I said I couldn't afford it they would pity me and I didn't want that." My son was born when both his mother and I were very young and didn't have any money at all. It was tough not being able to buy him nice things and having to make do with a second hand pushchair, hand-me-down clothes, etc... We obviously couldn't afford to buy him lots of toys either, although it did mean we spent more time playing with him (which seems to have paid off in the long term as we both have an incredibly close relationship with him now). However, although at the time it was incredibly difficult to cope with having no money, looking back I do think it was character building. I'm a much more sensible person when it comes to money than most of my friends who didn't go through bringing up a child when they were young and penniless. They're learning the hard way how expensive having kids is... and it seems harder for them to handle than it did for me. Perhaps because we never had money to start with, whereas my friends had grown accustomed to having cash in their pockets and now find they no longer do. | |||
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"Nah. ..I've always said that I don't have the money for stuff. I don't see the point in making excuses and things harder for yourself. I like to think im like that now.. i used to be riddled with worry, guilt, anxiety. Now i just dont have the energy to hide behind a front. " it's the easiest option. We live in a well to do area and the other patents at school are all well off . Theimpression I get is that the other other mums don't have to work they do it for fun. ..I constantly feel we are the poor relatives but really can't be arsed hiding it. They don't invite me to spa weekends anymore. | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think " Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. " I'm disappointed with waitrose. I can no longer get a free coffee without buying something and I have to go back to the entrance to get it!  | |||
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"We live in a well to do area and the other patents at school are all well off . Theimpression I get is that the other other mums don't have to work they do it for fun. ..I constantly feel we are the poor relatives but really can't be arsed hiding it. They don't invite me to spa weekends anymore. " This was my biggest gripe after i gave birth to my daughter.. all my friends would just presume id be busy and not be able to make a night out.. it may have been the case but sometimes its just nice to be given the invite then the chance to say no.. felt like a plonker kinda inviting myself along.. | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. " A lot of the time my parents shop at waitrose and when i have my own place again i probably will aswell mainly due to the diverse range of fruit & veg & fish they do, ive also found their own brand stuff is great quality and not that expensive | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. I'm disappointed with waitrose. I can no longer get a free coffee without buying something and I have to go back to the entrance to get it! "I did think of you when they sent that message. As you know, I think they should stop having the coffee machine at the entrance.
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. I'm disappointed with waitrose. I can no longer get a free coffee without buying something and I have to go back to the entrance to get it! "You can get it in the cafe if getting something which we always tend to do anyway when visiting it, there isnt a minimum spend though even a packet of chewing gum gets it | |||
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" Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. " like it was said above its about living within your budget. i try to do this as best i can, im only just returning back into work so the rainy day fund is non existant at the moment. my £700 shock MOT the other month was soul destroying to me and my daughter. Though it was a great lesson to her just how important money is. when she was 5 its 'go to the bank and get more'.. 'pay for it on your card'.. she isnt involved with my household finances, but understands aged 7 things are not always easy,, and sometimes we have to cut back on non essential items | |||
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"I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that. Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating " the word 'isolating' really stood out to me in that post.. so true!  | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. A lot of the time my parents shop at waitrose and when i have my own place again i probably will aswell mainly due to the diverse range of fruit & veg & fish they do, ive also found their own brand stuff is great quality and not that expensive " Although the M&S fridge pack mango is cheaper than either Waitrose or Sainsbury's. Sorry, OP, I'll stop hijacking on Waitrose now. | |||
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"I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that. Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating " That's like me last year I had to have the swimming pool at 10°c instead of 16, but this last year with my money growing tree blooming this year's coming up rosy! | |||
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"I don't know what soap or character you are talking about. People are uneasy discussing money, largely because people are very judgmental about how others spend their money. You just have to look at threads on here to see how judgmental people get. Thats true,, remember myself saying that id been to Marks & Spencers to buy some bread and had someone say 'oh to live the high life on benefits' I was on maternity leave at that point i think Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. A lot of the time my parents shop at waitrose and when i have my own place again i probably will aswell mainly due to the diverse range of fruit & veg & fish they do, ive also found their own brand stuff is great quality and not that expensive Although the M&S fridge pack mango is cheaper than either Waitrose or Sainsbury's. Sorry, OP, I'll stop hijacking on Waitrose now. " Hey I like m&s too mango you say  tbf when i lived in chester it was easier to do my shopping at m&s mainly because whenever i was on my crutches they would actually go round with me and do my shopping with me which was awesome!
Had reverse snobbery then from friends 'oh i wish i could shop in m&s' erm well stop spending hundreds on getting d*unk and you can! | |||
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" Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. like it was said above its about living within your budget. i try to do this as best i can, im only just returning back into work so the rainy day fund is non existant at the moment. my £700 shock MOT the other month was soul destroying to me and my daughter. Though it was a great lesson to her just how important money is. when she was 5 its 'go to the bank and get more'.. 'pay for it on your card'.. she isnt involved with my household finances, but understands aged 7 things are not always easy,, and sometimes we have to cut back on non essential items" I grew up very poor and, as an adult, admired how my mother managed to keep us fed and clothed. The six months we were homeless, and living in hostel accommodation, must have been hell for my parents. Have you looked at getting a Credit Union account? That might help with those ad hoc shock bills. | |||
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" Exactly. The reverse snobbery on here can be breathtaking at times. People think it's ok to be snide and rude to you (or maybe just to me) for saying I shop in Waitrose. It's my money and I'll spend it where and how I like. like it was said above its about living within your budget. i try to do this as best i can, im only just returning back into work so the rainy day fund is non existant at the moment. my £700 shock MOT the other month was soul destroying to me and my daughter. Though it was a great lesson to her just how important money is. when she was 5 its 'go to the bank and get more'.. 'pay for it on your card'.. she isnt involved with my household finances, but understands aged 7 things are not always easy,, and sometimes we have to cut back on non essential items" My boys, also 7 have also said stuff like that. I recently started a new full time job, which has been tough on our time together as it's long days and one of my boys had a bit of a moment and decided that he didn't want me to work anymore. I had to point out that I either went back to working part time and not being able to have the option to do nice things or I worked full time and actually we could do stuff. It's a hard conversation to have with them and I think they have got used to me saying, nope, can't afford it, so he decided that actually treats were a good thing. Not even my family, who I'm close to, know how hard it's been the past few months, I've gone without meals, there have been no luxuries and things like that. | |||
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"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something. The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. " There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful. | |||
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"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something. The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful. " Indeed. Prepayment gas and electric meters are an example of this. It's more expensive to be on them. | |||
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"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something. The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. " It's the same with utility bills. Those that get into debt have to pay more by prepayment. It's wrong. | |||
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"Isn't it odd that when you're young and you don't have something you crave it more and promise yourself you'll use it but when you get it as you are older you won't let it go or use it!" and likewise when i started to give my child her own money how much stuff she would put back on the shelf when she knew she had to buy it herself | |||
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"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something. The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful. Indeed. Prepayment gas and electric meters are an example of this. It's more expensive to be on them. " They are horrible those prepayment things.. Im hoping the bungalow i get has solar panels on like most round here do now just to help some money on elec bills | |||
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"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something. The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful. " It is and I don't get it! I would have died and gone to heaven when I was younger and couldn't afford things if I could have bought the offers I now have the luxury of today. And as others have said, Pre-payment metres are an example that goes beyond my understanding, why are they more expensive if you are paying for there use before you have used them? It's not like your a threat because you have paid for the use in advance, some things are just so screwed up in my opinion  | |||
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" There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful. It is and I don't get it! I would have died and gone to heaven when I was younger and couldn't afford things if I could have bought the offers I now have the luxury of today. And as others have said, Pre-payment metres are an example that goes beyond my understanding, why are they more expensive if you are paying for there use before you have used them? It's not like your a threat because you have paid for the use in advance, some things are just so screwed up in my opinion "Every single rich person I know tells me about the freebies they get. Some get a little miffed if they aren't offered freebies or upgrades. It's like the Gregory Peck film, The Million Pound Note. Bonkers! | |||
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"Every single rich person I know tells me about the freebies they get. Some get a little miffed if they aren't offered freebies or upgrades. It's like the Gregory Peck film, The Million Pound Note. Bonkers!" It works though | |||
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"I've lived on my own since aged 17, I know both spectrums! Then I used to live on potnoodles, pasta choice and the likes, probably what caused my IBS today, bearing in mind I don't have kids, I am single, I smoke and drink, some people would be shocked at what I spend on my weekly shop! But it is my money so I like to enjoy my life, but then I also know I am lucky but I also know I have worked for what I have today, so yes, if I want something I can buy it if I so desire, but I am well aware that others can't, so I do not by any means, belittle others nor offer to pay as that can cause embarrassment but I have always been honest in the past if I couldn't afford something. The one thing that does grate me now in my situation, now I can afford to buy the bulk items and save money on the 2 for 1 or special deals, when I really needed them, I couldn't afford them, so in a way it is a bit of a backward society when these offers come about. There is a 'poverty premium' where the poorer you are, the more expensive it is to live. The deals are only available to those with more money. The poverty premium is estimated to cost the poor approximately £500 a year on costs that those with money don't have to pay out. It's shameful. It is and I don't get it! I would have died and gone to heaven when I was younger and couldn't afford things if I could have bought the offers I now have the luxury of today. And as others have said, Pre-payment metres are an example that goes beyond my understanding, why are they more expensive if you are paying for there use before you have used them? It's not like your a threat because you have paid for the use in advance, some things are just so screwed up in my opinion "Oh and when I mean luxuries, when I was 17/18 etc going into boots and buying tampons, when they were on buy one pack get one half price and I couldn't afford it and the shop assistant would point out a deal I could have had, that was the type of luxury I would have loved to afford, but alas I couldn't so yes these type of deals are the one's I am speaking about and are unfair  | |||
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"I've been so skint I've gobe hungry. I've been so skint I've walked miles to save a bus fare. And I once was hours away tom being homeless. It's not a fun way to live that's fir dress. I've sold valued possessions to survive but nothing worse than that. Thankfully these days I've got a secure and regular income as it's really not a fun way to exist. I can't remember whether I made excuses or was honest but it was certainly isolating " Oh, how I can relate to this particular post. I was "stupid" with credit when younger. I also refinanced my life years ago to help my father through his expected twelve months terminal cancer. Then, one job crisis after the other piled up. Like Depression, financial difficulties are seldom talked about. But I summoned up the courage and spoke to Pay Plan. They weren't judgemental, just offered plain commonsense and help beyond my expectations. They've kept me sane; I wept with relief after my first call with them. In recent months, I have survived thru illness and being on benefits. I'd a superb appointment with a Financial advisor at my local C.A.B. and his reaction was simple, "you talked to someone, you realised it was getting too much. Too many people just think it will get better if they ignore it, but they find to their cost, it doesn't work that way. They stick their heads in the sand almost". Be honest with others, but be honest with yourself too. Cut back where you can. I don't have a TV, Car, expensive goods and so on. I can't afford nights out, so I do not go out. It does get me down at times, but I still have my house, and will be Mortgage free by 65. | |||
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"The hardest thing is to ask for help x" very hard to but sometimes people are willing to help so don't be afraid to within limit. | |||
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"The hardest thing is to ask for help x" That is do true. Ironically, the companies like Pay Plan and Step Change were once charities with limited budgets, but with Pay Plan for instance, they are now funded by Financial Sector including banks, credit card and loan companies. That way, they've been able to employ dozens more staff to cope with the increased demand in their services. People are beginning to talk! | |||
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"Isn't it odd that when you're young and you don't have something you crave it more and promise yourself you'll use it but when you get it as you are older you won't let it go or use it! and likewise when i started to give my child her own money how much stuff she would put back on the shelf when she knew she had to buy it herself " Took the boy once to buy three of those sticker books with his birthday money but he'd forgotten to take his money so I paid. When we got home he disappeared into his room, I called him down reminding him he needed to pay for his books. He slowly came down, held out his hand and said he didn't have enough change, what's in the other hand I asked. £20 note he said but didn't have anything less. That's okay I can change that was my response. The look from him and the abuse from his mother was incredible! | |||
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