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Footballers mental health crisis

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I heard about the footballers story on the radio today, who has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act. His manager and football team sent him the message to 'be strong'.

This has made me ponder all day. Having a mental health crisis is not about being weak, or not strong. And actually, by promoting people to 'be strong' what we are doing is perpetuating this myth that men have to be strong.

Let's just accept that mental health difficulties happen, and stop the 'be strong' message

Anyone else agree?

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By *andeCouple
over a year ago

Bognor area

Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Totally...I lost a lovely male friend a few weeks ago, he killed himself. Very very sad, he struggled for months and we couldn't help him

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones"

Exactly this!! It's just the same as a physical illness but as a society we don't see it that way? It makes me feel very sad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally...I lost a lovely male friend a few weeks ago, he killed himself. Very very sad, he struggled for months and we couldn't help him "

I am so so sorry to hear this I've worked with lots of people who've both tried to commit suicide and have been there when they've been successful unfortunately. It is so tragic. Take it easy, it's early days and you might need some help too cxx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Be strong is just a turn of phrase though. We say it often in different situations not just mental health. Illness, bereavement. I also dont think his gender matter as its said to both sexes.

Ive not seen the story or know the player involved but i will look for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fully agree. There's a stigma about MH and despite some great work by campaigners and MH organisations it still exists.

I think gender does play a part because there is a bigger stigma around mental health in men and particularly young men.

I hope Aaron pulls through

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I found it. I read frank brunos tweet. Stay strong and positive.

What else is someone supposed to say in such situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True it's a shame and it's a very bad illness. But hundreds maybe thousands of people in the UK alone suffer from this illness but we hear very little about it. Until someone famous suffers. More needs to be done for the hard working people that suffer in silence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally...I lost a lovely male friend a few weeks ago, he killed himself. Very very sad, he struggled for months and we couldn't help him "

I know that pain. You think if only I did something, returned his calls that day, thinking why didn't in help sooner. It still hurts I couldn't do anything and it does dull. But he was a great chap and I remember the good times when I can, just a really sad situation. It doesn't help maybe but good to share. The main thing is no one should feel alone, wish he didn't have those feelings but I guess he's at peace now but I'll always miss him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be strong is just a turn of phrase though. We say it often in different situations not just mental health. Illness, bereavement. I also dont think his gender matter as its said to both sexes.

Ive not seen the story or know the player involved but i will look for it.

"

But it's not just a turn of phrase. It is an injunction that is instilled in many men from a young age. Be strong, big boys don't cry, don't show your hurting, don't show emotions and so on.

Be strong often drives behaviour of both men (and women) where that message was a strong one during childhood, to put a brave face on and repress the need to express emotion in a healthy way.

It's not necessarily a helpful message no matter the intention behind it and on certain circumstances has the potential to encourage dysfunctional approaches to handling emotions.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Also its taking away the issues of why he wasnt recieving the adequate care and why it hadnt been picked up until it got to the point of him being sectioned.

I dont know the back story so cant really comment on whether due to cutbacks or him not seeking help

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Be strong is just a turn of phrase though. We say it often in different situations not just mental health. Illness, bereavement. I also dont think his gender matter as its said to both sexes.

Ive not seen the story or know the player involved but i will look for it.

But it's not just a turn of phrase. It is an injunction that is instilled in many men from a young age. Be strong, big boys don't cry, don't show your hurting, don't show emotions and so on.

Be strong often drives behaviour of both men (and women) where that message was a strong one during childhood, to put a brave face on and repress the need to express emotion in a healthy way.

It's not necessarily a helpful message no matter the intention behind it and on certain circumstances has the potential to encourage dysfunctional approaches to handling emotions."
i do agree but in crisis situations women are told to be strong as well. Im just answering the thread about his football team saying be strong.

Just a question what message would you have sent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Be strong is just a turn of phrase though. We say it often in different situations not just mental health. Illness, bereavement. I also dont think his gender matter as its said to both sexes.

Ive not seen the story or know the player involved but i will look for it.

But it's not just a turn of phrase. It is an injunction that is instilled in many men from a young age. Be strong, big boys don't cry, don't show your hurting, don't show emotions and so on.

Be strong often drives behaviour of both men (and women) where that message was a strong one during childhood, to put a brave face on and repress the need to express emotion in a healthy way.

It's not necessarily a helpful message no matter the intention behind it and on certain circumstances has the potential to encourage dysfunctional approaches to handling emotions."

This is my thoughts on the matter too, it's the way we hide mental health issues, they are brushed aside and men are made to feel they must be 'strong'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be strong is just a turn of phrase though. We say it often in different situations not just mental health. Illness, bereavement. I also dont think his gender matter as its said to both sexes.

Ive not seen the story or know the player involved but i will look for it.

But it's not just a turn of phrase. It is an injunction that is instilled in many men from a young age. Be strong, big boys don't cry, don't show your hurting, don't show emotions and so on.

Be strong often drives behaviour of both men (and women) where that message was a strong one during childhood, to put a brave face on and repress the need to express emotion in a healthy way.

It's not necessarily a helpful message no matter the intention behind it and on certain circumstances has the potential to encourage dysfunctional approaches to handling emotions.i do agree but in crisis situations women are told to be strong as well. Im just answering the thread about his football team saying be strong.

Just a question what message would you have sent."

You're in our thoughts and we hope you get the help you need to feel ok again soon. Or words to that effect. They would be more personal than that, because, if I was on his team I would know more about him.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

There has always been a stigma to mental health. Although we are along way from perfect people talj about mental health far more than they ever have. Cutbacks to the mental health services are a bastard.

But ive seen many many changes over the last 40 years towards mental health.

I know people will disagree with me but we have come along way in talking about mental illness. There is a lot still to be done but it has improved so much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There has always been a stigma to mental health. Although we are along way from perfect people talj about mental health far more than they ever have. Cutbacks to the mental health services are a bastard.

But ive seen many many changes over the last 40 years towards mental health.

I know people will disagree with me but we have come along way in talking about mental illness. There is a lot still to be done but it has improved so much.

"

I do also agree with you, but I think the problem is much deeper in the norms of our society. In what we expect of our boy children, when they are young and growing up, in how we talk about things with them. It's inherent in society that boys and men should be the stronger ones. When was the last time you saw a man cry? On tv or in real life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's good that mental illness is now being treated with the appropriate level of respect. This is a widespread illness that can impact anyone at any time. I have never suffered but have been close to people who have. It doesn't discriminate at all, and you can bet there's plenty more Aaron Lennons out there I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel desperately sorry for him that his mental health issues have been outed so publicly and with no consent from hum. There is no need for this to be in the public domain and I truly hope it doesn't have a negative impact on him.

This is a world away from someone choosing to delare their problems to raise awareness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There has always been a stigma to mental health. Although we are along way from perfect people talj about mental health far more than they ever have. Cutbacks to the mental health services are a bastard.

But ive seen many many changes over the last 40 years towards mental health.

I know people will disagree with me but we have come along way in talking about mental illness. There is a lot still to be done but it has improved so much.

"

Younger generations seem far more aware and appear to stigmatse mental health issues far less than older benerations.

I agree that while there is a long way to go, it is worth remembering how far as a society we;ve come

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"There has always been a stigma to mental health. Although we are along way from perfect people talj about mental health far more than they ever have. Cutbacks to the mental health services are a bastard.

But ive seen many many changes over the last 40 years towards mental health.

I know people will disagree with me but we have come along way in talking about mental illness. There is a lot still to be done but it has improved so much.

I do also agree with you, but I think the problem is much deeper in the norms of our society. In what we expect of our boy children, when they are young and growing up, in how we talk about things with them. It's inherent in society that boys and men should be the stronger ones. When was the last time you saw a man cry? On tv or in real life? "
but do you believe thats true. From the older generation yes. But up and coming men born from a younger generation of parent im not sure if thats true or not.

I have a son whose 26 he has always been open with his emotions i never treated him differently than i would have a girl.

The young men i know (say under 30) seem to be able to show their emotions. I really think the stigma of men having to be strong is deminiting with the younger generations.

Nothing happens over night but it might be to late for older generations but can change younger ones views

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

On a positive side now he has been sectioned he will be fully assessed and treated accordingly.

Being "sectioned" does still have a stigma but when someone is in crisis they are in a safe enviroment getting treated

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"but do you believe thats true. From the older generation yes. But up and coming men born from a younger generation of parent im not sure if thats true or not.

I have a son whose 26 he has always been open with his emotions i never treated him differently than i would have a girl.

The young men i know (say under 30) seem to be able to show their emotions. I really think the stigma of men having to be strong is deminiting with the younger generations.

Nothing happens over night but it might be to late for older generations but can change younger ones views"

I can honestly say not every young man is bought up in the same way as your son. They should be, but it's not always happening. And it's perpetuated in schools as well.

I think the make suicide statistics speak for themselves around how much more we can do to help men suffering

I am glad he has been sectioned, as you say, he can now get the help and support he clearly needs. I just hope the media can leave him alone x

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By *entle giraffeMan
over a year ago

Minehead


"I heard about the footballers story on the radio today, who has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act. His manager and football team sent him the message to 'be strong'.

This has made me ponder all day. Having a mental health crisis is not about being weak, or not strong. And actually, by promoting people to 'be strong' what we are doing is perpetuating this myth that men have to be strong.

Let's just accept that mental health difficulties happen, and stop the 'be strong' message

Anyone else agree?"

I agree completely.

If the footballer had broken his leg, colleagues, coaches etc would be encouraging him to rest and allow time for the break to heal before slowly going through rehabilitation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As one of the sufferers in the 'younger generation', the whole stigma around mental health has dwindled, and the help available has come on leaps and bounds even in the last few years.

I wasn't necessarily brought up thinking boys don't cry or anything, but always felt it that way.

Its only recently that I've been able to accept that it's okay to not be okay.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"As one of the sufferers in the 'younger generation', the whole stigma around mental health has dwindled, and the help available has come on leaps and bounds even in the last few years.

I wasn't necessarily brought up thinking boys don't cry or anything, but always felt it that way.

Its only recently that I've been able to accept that it's okay to not be okay. "
thats really good to here and you are of the generation im talking about

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

First time i was sectioned i was actually put in a lunatic asylum. Just like you see in the horror stories

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

25 years ago the government werent even publishing statistics on mental health

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones"

I could not agree more. An old friend was recently diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. He too has been detained under the MHA. If you think that physical health care is under resourced in the UK then the paucity of mental health care provision is truly scandalous. We don't like to talk about crazy though. It doesn't tug at the heart strings...and let's face it, those with severe mental health problems are by the very nature of their illness pretty poor at advocating for better services.

I will now step off my soapbox and wish this young man well.

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"First time i was sectioned i was actually put in a lunatic asylum. Just like you see in the horror stories"

I am really saddened and angered to read that.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones

I could not agree more. An old friend was recently diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. He too has been detained under the MHA. If you think that physical health care is under resourced in the UK then the paucity of mental health care provision is truly scandalous. We don't like to talk about crazy though. It doesn't tug at the heart strings...and let's face it, those with severe mental health problems are by the very nature of their illness pretty poor at advocating for better services.

I will now step off my soapbox and wish this young man well.

"
i think im pretty good at advocating for better health services. Or do people think mental illness means you cant have intelligence or articulate yourself. Another stigma

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones

I could not agree more. An old friend was recently diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. He too has been detained under the MHA. If you think that physical health care is under resourced in the UK then the paucity of mental health care provision is truly scandalous. We don't like to talk about crazy though. It doesn't tug at the heart strings...and let's face it, those with severe mental health problems are by the very nature of their illness pretty poor at advocating for better services.

I will now step off my soapbox and wish this young man well.

i think im pretty good at advocating for better health services. Or do people think mental illness means you cant have intelligence or articulate yourself. Another stigma"

Not at all and this absolutely wasn't meant as a sleight or insult. Please accept my apologies if it came across that way.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones

I could not agree more. An old friend was recently diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. He too has been detained under the MHA. If you think that physical health care is under resourced in the UK then the paucity of mental health care provision is truly scandalous. We don't like to talk about crazy though. It doesn't tug at the heart strings...and let's face it, those with severe mental health problems are by the very nature of their illness pretty poor at advocating for better services.

I will now step off my soapbox and wish this young man well.

i think im pretty good at advocating for better health services. Or do people think mental illness means you cant have intelligence or articulate yourself. Another stigma

Not at all and this absolutely wasn't meant as a sleight or insult. Please accept my apologies if it came across that way. "
i wasnt insulted but i saw it as a false statement.

Service users are used a lot to help get better services. They even sit in on interviews sometimes.

Myself, ive been round mental health units to assess them for safety from a users point of view.

Ive also had input with our local crisis team and helped to get us 24 hour cover in my area which we didnt have

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"Yes definitely. It is not a weakness its an illness - no more a choice than broken bones

I could not agree more. An old friend was recently diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. He too has been detained under the MHA. If you think that physical health care is under resourced in the UK then the paucity of mental health care provision is truly scandalous. We don't like to talk about crazy though. It doesn't tug at the heart strings...and let's face it, those with severe mental health problems are by the very nature of their illness pretty poor at advocating for better services.

I will now step off my soapbox and wish this young man well.

i think im pretty good at advocating for better health services. Or do people think mental illness means you cant have intelligence or articulate yourself. Another stigma

Not at all and this absolutely wasn't meant as a sleight or insult. Please accept my apologies if it came across that way. i wasnt insulted but i saw it as a false statement.

Service users are used a lot to help get better services. They even sit in on interviews sometimes.

Myself, ive been round mental health units to assess them for safety from a users point of view.

Ive also had input with our local crisis team and helped to get us 24 hour cover in my area which we didnt have"

I am encouraged to read that. I can say that isn't the uniformly the case unfortunately.

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