FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Is it just me?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please? "

Hotlists not hoists. ( that's a whole new thread )

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please? "

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention "

I'm beginning to think so!! Screams insecurity to me if that's the case.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't notice any of this.

Are you stalking people?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So they might be attentions seeking. And...?

That's a problem why?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it happens a lot, nice profile btw op

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please? "

Why would you like a simple explanation about these things?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it's there profile and they can

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention

I'm beginning to think so!! Screams insecurity to me if that's the case.

"

Some people do need to have certain reassurances they get from social acceptance.. The "facebook" generation do get dopamine from likes on statuses....so they do one every ten mins... From that they get the security of being "accepted socially"

To some extent certain games on the forum work to the same extent.. Playing and you get a positive comment....dopamine fix...no comment and you ask why was i skipped?

Personally i prefer a more human connection...actually talking and interacting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I don't notice any of this.

Are you stalking people? "

When I was superramfan I changed ma name to superryanfan until he sussed me out (took him about 3 weeks though lol), then I changed it to superstalkerfan for a month or so

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm just curious that's all...... I'm just asking the question why? Why not is equally as valid? I wondered if there was valid reasons. Being relatively new to this whole thing and not really experiencing any difficulties myself I just wondered why.

No I don't stalk and this isn't directed at anyone person. It seems to just happen. I read forums and see interesting replies and as many do I click on profiles. That's my only experience of seeing a pattern in some people's behaviour on the site.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes it happens a lot, nice profile btw op"

Thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just curious that's all...... I'm just asking the question why? Why not is equally as valid? I wondered if there was valid reasons. Being relatively new to this whole thing and not really experiencing any difficulties myself I just wondered why.

No I don't stalk and this isn't directed at anyone person. It seems to just happen. I read forums and see interesting replies and as many do I click on profiles. That's my only experience of seeing a pattern in some people's behaviour on the site.

"

Ahh your attempting to psychologise people on here through their profile behaviour! Be careful, you could end up wearing a straight jacket!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you want my thoughts? do I have to lie down and pay you by the hour.

To quote a classic 80s track, my thought verge on dirty. And I don't really care what people do.

(The last bit wasn't in the song).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha this is interesting considering i chose hide mine earlier today. My reason, inundated with messages and can't be arsed to respond. Or have any more for now.

Is that still attention seeking?! Lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because i can't be bothered to socially interact with new men.

I hide my profile a lot, and it's usually because i'm not feeling sociable.

Nothing sinister or untoward and definately not attention seeking, if anything the opposite really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm just curious that's all...... I'm just asking the question why? Why not is equally as valid? I wondered if there was valid reasons. Being relatively new to this whole thing and not really experiencing any difficulties myself I just wondered why.

No I don't stalk and this isn't directed at anyone person. It seems to just happen. I read forums and see interesting replies and as many do I click on profiles. That's my only experience of seeing a pattern in some people's behaviour on the site.

Ahh your attempting to psychologise people on here through their profile behaviour! Be careful, you could end up wearing a straight jacket!! "

Perhaps a little....... just really curious but perhaps a little too much time on my hands to overthink it too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because i can't be bothered to socially interact with new men.

I hide my profile a lot, and it's usually because i'm not feeling sociable.

Nothing sinister or untoward and definately not attention seeking, if anything the opposite really. "

Yep

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Haha this is interesting considering i chose hide mine earlier today. My reason, inundated with messages and can't be arsed to respond. Or have any more for now.

Is that still attention seeking?! Lol "

No not at Salk attention seeking. I wasn't aware that hiding your profile stops messages. Is that just public messages. Can your friends still message?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just curious that's all...... I'm just asking the question why? Why not is equally as valid? I wondered if there was valid reasons. Being relatively new to this whole thing and not really experiencing any difficulties myself I just wondered why.

No I don't stalk and this isn't directed at anyone person. It seems to just happen. I read forums and see interesting replies and as many do I click on profiles. That's my only experience of seeing a pattern in some people's behaviour on the site.

Ahh your attempting to psychologise people on here through their profile behaviour! Be careful, you could end up wearing a straight jacket!!

Perhaps a little....... just really curious but perhaps a little too much time on my hands to overthink it too. "

I think deep down we're all a little guilty of doing the same in our early days here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm just curious that's all...... I'm just asking the question why? Why not is equally as valid? I wondered if there was valid reasons. Being relatively new to this whole thing and not really experiencing any difficulties myself I just wondered why.

No I don't stalk and this isn't directed at anyone person. It seems to just happen. I read forums and see interesting replies and as many do I click on profiles. That's my only experience of seeing a pattern in some people's behaviour on the site.

Ahh your attempting to psychologise people on here through their profile behaviour! Be careful, you could end up wearing a straight jacket!!

Perhaps a little....... just really curious but perhaps a little too much time on my hands to overthink it too.

I think deep down we're all a little guilty of doing the same in our early days here "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention

I'm beginning to think so!! Screams insecurity to me if that's the case.

Some people do need to have certain reassurances they get from social acceptance.. The "facebook" generation do get dopamine from likes on statuses....so they do one every ten mins... From that they get the security of being "accepted socially"

To some extent certain games on the forum work to the same extent.. Playing and you get a positive comment....dopamine fix...no comment and you ask why was i skipped?

Personally i prefer a more human connection...actually talking and interacting."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/05/17 17:59:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Haha this is interesting considering i chose hide mine earlier today. My reason, inundated with messages and can't be arsed to respond. Or have any more for now.

Is that still attention seeking?! Lol

No not at Salk attention seeking. I wasn't aware that hiding your profile stops messages. Is that just public messages. Can your friends still message? "

Well it doesn't stop messages but if they can't see your pics and info less likely to bother to message. Friends can still message x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention

I'm beginning to think so!! Screams insecurity to me if that's the case.

Some people do need to have certain reassurances they get from social acceptance.. The "facebook" generation do get dopamine from likes on statuses....so they do one every ten mins... From that they get the security of being "accepted socially"

To some extent certain games on the forum work to the same extent.. Playing and you get a positive comment....dopamine fix...no comment and you ask why was i skipped?

Personally i prefer a more human connection...actually talking and interacting."

What he said..nail and head spring to mind

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Auto carrots Removed by poster at 02/05/17 17:59:44]"

*clears throat*... (let's try that again)

There are folks trying to atract attention to themselves on here?!...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't notice any of this.

Are you stalking people?

When I was superramfan I changed ma name to superryanfan until he sussed me out (took him about 3 weeks though lol), then I changed it to superstalkerfan for a month or so "

Did he notice or was it pointed out to him?!

I miss him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cott89Man
over a year ago

prestatyn

i never attention seek...........LOOK AT ME!!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention

I'm beginning to think so!! Screams insecurity to me if that's the case.

Some people do need to have certain reassurances they get from social acceptance.. The "facebook" generation do get dopamine from likes on statuses....so they do one every ten mins... From that they get the security of being "accepted socially"

To some extent certain games on the forum work to the same extent.. Playing and you get a positive comment....dopamine fix...no comment and you ask why was i skipped?

Personally i prefer a more human connection...actually talking and interacting."

This.

And Drama.

I don't bother looking at local updates because I can't be arsed with all the shit you describe OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't say I have ever seen this. People run their profiles their way. Doesn't make them an attention seeker. And if they are so what?? Let them crack on. I'd say it's more a sign of insecurity being concerned about how total strangers run their profiles rather than anything listed in the OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't say I have ever seen this. People run their profiles their way. Doesn't make them an attention seeker. And if they are so what?? Let them crack on. I'd say it's more a sign of insecurity being concerned about how total strangers run their profiles rather than anything listed in the OP."

She's only asking a question. Don't you think it's interesting to find out why people do things in different ways?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can't say I have ever seen this. People run their profiles their way. Doesn't make them an attention seeker. And if they are so what?? Let them crack on. I'd say it's more a sign of insecurity being concerned about how total strangers run their profiles rather than anything listed in the OP."

There's no corrolation between insecurity and noticing patterns of behaviour. I'm just merely curious about why it may happen. There has been some pretty valid points already given which I fully accept and understand. Reading the forum threads and the way that people interact with one another. How they get their points of view across is really valuable in understanding how they are as a general person. I use this coupled with reading profiles to sense check if I would perhaps like to get to know that person better. So a profile like I described in my opening post I just don't understand. I fairly new to the site and the scene so any pointers are always good. I wasn't trying to be judgemental and I will think about how I phrase any further posts as not to antagonise. Thanks for your input though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

..... Although admittedly I rarely contribute anything of value....I do love seeing an " Is it just me?" thread..... It has to be one of the most enticing thread titles ever......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attention seeking via status updates? nah.

I just add song lyrics of anything that's memorable, either humorous, or just a song that makes me smile.

If people like it, great, if not, meh.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can't say I have ever seen this. People run their profiles their way. Doesn't make them an attention seeker. And if they are so what?? Let them crack on. I'd say it's more a sign of insecurity being concerned about how total strangers run their profiles rather than anything listed in the OP.

She's only asking a question. Don't you think it's interesting to find out why people do things in different ways? "

Thank you Bluecarrot. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please? "

There probably isn't one simple explanation.

I suspect that different people have different motivation for actions.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're all attention seakers on here wether we admit to it or not.

PTU xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone on here seeks attention. Bit pointless joining otherwise.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We're all attention seakers on here wether we admit to it or not.

PTU xxx"

Simples

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I hide my profile because I'm not meeting. Its nothing to do with attention seeking. In fact its more the complete opposite.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ill do with my profile as I want to do just as other should do as they wish too after all if we all thought the same and did the same then jeeze what a boring world it would be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've just explained me! Spooky....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people can run their profiles how they want too. If it's attention seeking then that's fine. I would have thought that people are here to get the attention of others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hide my so I do not yet to many message and iam very insecure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely the primary objective of any profile based contact site is to provide a platform of exposer for each individual or couple ....

Attracting attention is an intrinsic product of public membership ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please? "

I,m dithering about wether I want to do meets still or not. I hide my profile, then think I,ll give it another go, unhide it, get mainly messages from men miles away or men who can't host. So I get pissed off and hide it again. I have only done the not meeting status once. Not sure this is for me anymore, too many disrespectful men on these sites.

I,m not attention seeking, I just can't make my mind up at present. XXX

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can someone hiding their profile be attention seeking? Nobody can view them. I would have thought it would have been the opposite of attention seeking. As for status updates, I'm not sure. Though to be honest, I don't look at them .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/05/17 18:33:36]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

We all run our profiles the way we see fit, why should it matter to anyone else?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely the primary objective of any profile based contact site is to provide a platform of exposer for each individual or couple ....

Attracting attention is an intrinsic product of public membership .... "

There you go!! You did add value to the thread. Thank you Soxy...... fab legs btw xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the primary objective of any profile based contact site is to provide a platform of exposer for each individual or couple ....

Attracting attention is an intrinsic product of public membership ....

There you go!! You did add value to the thread. Thank you Soxy...... fab legs btw xx"

Aww shuck you've got me blushing ...X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Surely the primary objective of any profile based contact site is to provide a platform of exposer for each individual or couple ....

Attracting attention is an intrinsic product of public membership ....

There you go!! You did add value to the thread. Thank you Soxy...... fab legs btw xx

Well jel soxy mwah xx

Aww shuck you've got me blushing ...X "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't say I have ever seen this. People run their profiles their way. Doesn't make them an attention seeker. And if they are so what?? Let them crack on. I'd say it's more a sign of insecurity being concerned about how total strangers run their profiles rather than anything listed in the OP.

She's only asking a question. Don't you think it's interesting to find out why people do things in different ways? "

Not really. If someone has hidden their profile it could be for 101 different reasons. The only thing that matters is it's hidden...so I wouldnt see it to begin with.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why? Time and time again I see profiles hidden, statuses updated, cryptic clues, verifications hidden only to reappear, messages of " I'm meeting" "I'm not meeting"............. I'd love a simple explanation. Is it because it highlights them in friends, hoists and updates for local areas? Far be it for me to say "attention seeking"........... thoughts please?

To be fair it did use to puzzle me a lot....some people just like to be indecisive or they are keeping themselves in local updates for attention

I'm beginning to think so!! Screams insecurity to me if that's the case.

Mines hidden at moment. Not attention seeking or iinsecure. Just not much free time and face d up of 'how are you ' messages

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And this make me feel uncomfortable and ugly so 4 reasons

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... Although admittedly I rarely contribute anything of value....I do love seeing an " Is it just me?" thread..... It has to be one of the most enticing thread titles ever......

"

I made one just for you and you weren't enticed in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I don't really get the need for question to be honest.... shit happens, real life comes first, people are dealing with health issues, offspring issues, and a variety of other 'stuff' ....all of which means that finding a shag on a sex site has to be put on and off the back burner on a regular basis!! So, they let people know if it's on or off with their status', and if they feel like hell they run away and hide!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do need to hide

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top