FabSwingers.com forum: Best insults

By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

Not sure if this is allowed

But lets see some mean insults

Please do not direct these at anybody no names.. Only reply with a quote if you're laughing at an insult... This is all in good fun and maybe help people get some bad energy out of their system without hurting someone's feelings.

If you're easily offended back out now...

Have fun. Be nice to other posters..

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

She opened her legs.. I swear I was looking at a sarlacc pit

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Come back when you've got less time

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Cunt

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Are you actually gay, or do you just like the look?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check out "Roast my Selfie" on Facebook. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come back when you've got less time"

Ha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How's ya belly for a lodger ..sorry looks like you've already got one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guy called me a "Rat with a fat girls attitude" once

Told him he looked like an 18th century criminal mug shot

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

I think fucking a bee hive would be more appealing

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

"Some guy called me a "Rat with a fat girls attitude" once

Told him he looked like an 18th century criminal mug shot"

Lol not seeing the rat face .. He must have gotten rejected

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

got more chins than a Chinese phone book!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God you nearly poked that dick in my eye ! Talk about overload of dick pics by a dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're dumber than snake mittens!

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By *on4funxxxMan
over a year ago

Great Barr North Birmingham

YOU SMELL OUT OF YOUR MOUTH LIKE A BEAR OUT OF ITS ASS its an Amsterdam slang saying and although it translates ok to English it's a classic in Dutch. For all of you Dutch speaking peeps........Errrr if any lol here it is in Dutch lol.

JE STINKT UIT JE BEK ALS EEN BEER UIT ZIJN REET

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

"You're dumber than snake mittens!"

Lol wow I about spit out my drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More useless than a marzipan dildo

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I think fucking a bee hive would be more appealing"

It is

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By *on4funxxxMan
over a year ago

Great Barr North Birmingham

She / he ( don't wanna upset anyone lol ) was that ugly that when she/ he fell out of the ugly tree they hit every branch on the way down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha thanks, I'm glad! We weregetting on but t became apparent he was a bit of a knob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i wanted to hear from an arsehole, I'd fart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love using the phrase.....

I've known a lot of pricks in my timr but you...you my friend are a fucking cactus!

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

"Haha thanks, I'm glad! We weregetting on but t became apparent he was a bit of a knob

Excuse me I am not a knob... More like a lever... Lol

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

"I love using the phrase.....

I've known a lot of pricks in my timr but you...you my friend are a fucking cactus!

I like that one

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

Fucking her was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"who's this clown?" Is the best insult because it works on two levels

1. You're a clown

And

2. You're not even one of the well known clowns

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By *lovebustyladiesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I needed a plank of wood to go across her legs so i didnt fall in

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By *oi_LucyCouple
over a year ago

Barbados

"Cunt"

A fantastic word. Did you see Miriam Margolyes on The Last Leg the other night?

-Matt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cockwomble

Thundercunt

Twatfaced Knobber

Shithead

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By *egWorshipperMan
over a year ago

Gods Country

He was that thick he couldn't pour piss out of his shoe even if the instructions how were written on the sole.

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By *lovebustyladiesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

You been round the track more times than sebastian coe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"YOU SMELL OUT OF YOUR MOUTH LIKE A BEAR OUT OF ITS ASS its an Amsterdam slang saying and although it translates ok to English it's a classic in Dutch. For all of you Dutch speaking peeps........Errrr if any lol here it is in Dutch lol.

JE STINKT UIT JE BEK ALS EEN BEER UIT ZIJN REET "

easier to just say , your breath smells

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By *aveandSue1Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

If I throw a stick will you fetch it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

JE STINKT UIT JE BEK ALS EEN BEER UIT ZIJN REET "

easier to just say , your breath smells

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are the penile wart on the body of mankind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mama was a snowblower

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By *lovebustyladiesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

To save time she took off the front door and put on a turnstyle

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By *oi_LucyCouple
over a year ago

Barbados

I still love Churchill's "I may be d*unk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly"

-Matt

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By *aveandSue1Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Does your head whistle in a crosswind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower "

Jonny five?

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By *lovebustyladiesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Shes a bit like a roll on roll off ferry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cunt"

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I like the one where you say "You appear to be suffering from delusions of adequacy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sad individuals with sad lives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh look its a penis.. only smaller

Sorry id love to watch you wank but there's some paint drying thats fascinating me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower "

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Jonny five?"

Yes! Never gets old!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

Haha I love him!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Cunt

A fantastic word. Did you see Miriam Margolyes on The Last Leg the other night?

-Matt"

No, I will scope it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Badgerwanking Pissweasel!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Cockwomble

Thundercunt

Twatfaced Knobber

Shithead

Shitcunt

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Badgerwanking Pissweasel! "

Oh I like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cockwomble

Thundercunt

Twatfaced Knobber

Shithead

Shitcunt

ok who blabbed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still love Churchill's "I may be d*unk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly"

-Matt"

brilliant

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By *ubSirVient-DefinitionCouple
over a year ago

dukinfield

"Hay Laser lips, Your mama was a snowblower

Jonny five?"

**corrected you should NEVER misquote Johnny Number 5**

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

People like you are the prime reason why inbreeding is illegal

Out of curiosity are you naturally that stupid or do you have some sort of diploma?

Fuck sake if you were to drop dead right now the IQ rating of the planet would increase 10 points

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

"Cockwomble

Thundercunt

Twatfaced Knobber

Shithead

Love Cockwomble and Thundercunt, even better as cockwombling thundercunt.

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

He is so stupid he could fuck up a wet dream

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By *utterflyandArtificeCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

"Cockwomble

Thundercunt

Twatfaced Knobber

Shithead

Shitcunt

Shitcunt can be improved by addi g proper as in proper shitcunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got asked would I like a 9" cock..I politely told him no thanks. I don't downsize.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People like you are the prime reason why inbreeding is illegal

Out of curiosity are you naturally that stupid or do you have some sort of diploma?

Fuck sake if you were to drop dead right now the IQ rating of the planet would increase 10 points "

ohave my goodness

My sides hurt ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go home, there's a village missing it's idiot.

So.....you crossed the road alll on your own?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cuntflap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are your mother and father actually brother and sister

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

Haha I love him! "

Need more input

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Face like you've run a marathon behind a gritter.

Face like she's been bobbing for apples in a deepfat fryer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She had a tattoo of a sea shell on her thigh.

I swear if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

Haha I love him! "

Me too

I need to watch them both again his innocence at times just makes me smile

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By *issVeryWoman
over a year ago

streatham

Lebanese popular insult:

Your sister/mother's (choose one) cunt is the same as that of a whore.

Kiss ekhtak/Emmk akhou sharmouta.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

You should have been swallowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd fuck a good cunt up

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

I'm not saying she is a whore. But I'm pretty sure I have seen her pussy on dirty jobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You there! Fuck Off. And when you get there, fuck off from there too. Then fuck off some more. Keep fucking off until you get back here. Then fuck off again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bobwfocw

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

[Removed by poster at 24/04/17 22:01:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should have been swallowed "

Ahahaha this is amazing!

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

"You there! Fuck Off. And when you get there, fuck off from there too. Then fuck off some more. Keep fucking off until you get back here. Then fuck off again.

That's great lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

Haha I love him!

Me too

I need to watch them both again his innocence at times just makes me smile"

I watched them at Christmas. Soooo good! Apart from the fact I'd never noticed that Benjamin isn't actually ethnic minority. They hired a white guy to play him!

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

I'm not saying you're a slut.... But you have taken more loads than a washing machine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to offend someone don't use insults, pick out the truths

Those are the ones that really get under people's skin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lend me your brain I'm building an idiot!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd have been a wank if your mum hadn't got in the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today I saw something that reminded me of you.... but don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jim's mum

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Your mind is like a Soup Bowl, wide and shallow!

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

Yes that dress makes you look fat

But that's because you're in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

Haha I love him!

Me too

I need to watch them both again his innocence at times just makes me smile

I watched them at Christmas. Soooo good! Apart from the fact I'd never noticed that Benjamin isn't actually ethnic minority. They hired a white guy to play him!

Oh god so it is!!! I saw him in law & order svu not long back and couldnt place where i knew him from!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a fan of insults. I find them, er, insulting.

Have had one or two rather rude insulting rejections in the past, which I found completely unnecessary.

Just because you might not find someone appealing really doesn't give you any justification to hurl personal insults at them.

Some may take them in good humour, but others may take them to heart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My current favourite is 'boring'

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

Sure ill give you 12 inches

Ill have to give it to you four times

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries...

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"My current favourite is 'boring'

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

I watched this last night on a whim. How coincidental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If shit were brains you wouldn't smell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jim's mum"

J0hnnys mum

Fuck everyone

You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will forever push doors that clearly states pull!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twunt..and..replying. I'd rather eat my own pubes to stupid requests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/04/17 23:27:07]

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

You're a few fries short of a happy meal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jim's mum

J0hnnys mum

Fuck everyone

You're welcome

So twisted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best part of you ran down your mums legs .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd call you a cunt, but cunts have a purpose!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oxygen thief!

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

I would insult you but it seem nature has done so well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You were born to satisfy the sarcasm of others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell you to go fuck yourself but even yourself has standards!

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By *oresexMan
over a year ago

South West coast

If brains were dynamite, you couldn't even blow your nose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont be a cunt all your life.. have a day off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We was in town other day and saw a homeless couple having a big domestic in the street. Anyway it ended with him saying to her " close your legs your breath stinks "

what hell does that mean never heard that said before

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By *oulja 100Man
over a year ago

Yorkshire

An old FB from here told me about an insult she had received when politely rejecting a man on fab (He didn't take it to well but his insult was about the best thing about him

)...

I quote: 'I hope you have your period in a shark tank, you Bitch'

A bit harsh but made for some entertainment.. Haha

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By *unmeisterMan
over a year ago

London & West Midlands

Love it.

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

So ugly even the tide wouldn't take you out

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By *rueone71Man
over a year ago

Hiding in the Barnes

Me: "are you enjoying this?"

Her: "can't you tell?"

Me: "actually not!!"

Honest..I couldn't tell..she was spooky silent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a face like a dropped trifle

your vagina looks like a busted couch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You were that ugly when you were born the midwife slapped ya mam x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sit at the window and bark at strangers or something....

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By *ire_thorn OP Man
over a year ago

no comment

You cum guzzling sperm gurgling bimbo gutter slut

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By *aveandSue1Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

When you were born, did the midwife slap tbe wrong end?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit at the window and bark at strangers or something....

Ooh that's just reminded me of the "you'd look cute with a Frisbee in your mouth" line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure if this is allowed

But lets see some mean insults

If you're easily offended back out now...

Lol i'll give this one a miss as i will offend to easily!

Have fun. Be nice to other posters.. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, new favourite insult... Fat and sloppy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you were born, did the midwife slap tbe wrong end?"
about chok#d on my coffee reading this

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

You failed to live up to your own low standards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just sit at the window and bark at strangers or something....

Ooh that's just reminded me of the "you'd look cute with a Frisbee in your mouth" line

I'm too ridiculously horny not to say this .....but you look cute with something else in your mouth.

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By *layfull pairingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

You glass licking retarded fuckwit....

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By *rueone71Man
over a year ago

Hiding in the Barnes

Looking at your tits makes me understand the law of gravity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You cum guzzling sperm gurgling bimbo gutter slut"

You been listening in on me having sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your mama was a snowblower

Oh ffs i have his voice in my head now

I watched this last night on a whim. How coincidental"

And you didnt invite me over how dare you!

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I just looked up grotesque in the dictionary..

There was a photo of you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You cum guzzling sperm gurgling bimbo gutter slut

You been listening in on me having sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You were beaten with the ugly stick as a child only after you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love using the phrase.....

I've known a lot of pricks in my timr but you...you my friend are a fucking cactus!

brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today I saw something that reminded me of you.... but don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother should have swallowed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me: "are you enjoying this?"

Her: "can't you tell?"

Me: "actually not!!"

Honest..I couldn't tell..she was spooky silent

Probably reflects more badly on you than her...

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By *ild-1Woman
over a year ago

york

Your that ugly the tide wouldn't take you out.

I wouldn't ride you into battle never mind bed

Both seen as statuses in here and amused me no end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not saying you are fat dear,but can you fart and give me us clue and my cock will follow the ripples back in to at least one hole.

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By *rueone71Man
over a year ago

Hiding in the Barnes

"Me: "are you enjoying this?"

Her: "can't you tell?"

Me: "actually not!!"

Honest..I couldn't tell..she was spooky silent

Probably reflects more badly on you than her..."

Is a split... unless you are like me that always think "it takes 2 to tango"!!!

(well... theres many type of dances...lol

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give me a clue love or am I going to have to roll you in flour and look for the wet patch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even Joseph fritzl wouldn't let you into his basement!

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By *cott73Man
over a year ago

brighton

When I want you I'll give you the sign. Which is me being sectioned under the mental health act.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She had a fanny like a welly top

You look like a bulldog chewing a wasp

It's a shame the milkman didn't use a condom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your as much use as tits on a fish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You melted welly head!

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By *ea_CoffeeCouple
over a year ago

Near Kettering

When talking to a friend in the pub one night

Me: Have you seen the new barcodes they are putting on condoms mate

Him: No?

Me: Sorry mate, I forgot you have to roll them all the way back to see them.

Joke went straight over his head but next week he told me he still couldn't find them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You couldn't figure out hot to pour water out of a bucket, if the instructions were underneath.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet your dad wishes he'd settled for a blowjob now.

I'd call you a cunt, but you lack the depth and capacity to provide pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From Full Metal Jacket - "Looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!"

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By *aveandSue1Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Do I detect a Scottish accent?

Whereabouts in Norfolk are you from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell your mum to stop changing her lipstick

My cock looks like a rainbow

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