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Being "The other man/woman"

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Has anyone been in this position and how did it turn out?

Please don't post just to pass judgement. Its a genuine question.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The first guy i lived with was married when i met him. He left his wife for me then i endured nearly 5 years of hell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Badly. I believed everything I was told and felt immensely close.

When I questioned and wanted time,I eventually was met with hostility and told I was asking for too much. I get that people can't cope with a double life and have to choose and I was likely to get hurt. 8 years was a long time to not even get an I'm sorry but I can't do this message.

No matter the temptation it's not going to end well. Seek a simpler choice.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i didn't know he was married, he lived in bolton so it was no big deal that i didn't see him all the time and i thought it was due to him living so far away rather than anything else.

i got pregnant and found out then he was married, my mum went round the shop he owned and worked in and told him he needed to pay for maternity things, and he said to her it wasn't his. she also called him a perv coz i was only 16 at the time and he was twice my age. my mum is cool.

so, me and my mate went round to the same shop after he said that, my mate threw a load of fruit and veg at him then we went round the back and i smashed the back shop window.

a guy who worked at the shop asked wtf the was going on...we told him everything, he gave us his mums phone number to tell her coz little did i know this guy was the shop owners stepson and my married guy was living with his mum as partners.

my mate called her, told her everything and that was that.

i never heard from the police about the shop window for some reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm ok with it if she is. I've learnt that to a degree you have to be selfish in this world and am fine with compartmentalising certain elements of life.... that being one of them

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


" Badly. I believed everything I was told and felt immensely close.

When I questioned and wanted time,I eventually was met with hostility and told I was asking for too much. I get that people can't cope with a double life and have to choose and I was likely to get hurt. 8 years was a long time to not even get an I'm sorry but I can't do this message.

No matter the temptation it's not going to end well. Seek a simpler choice."

This sounds familiar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy that I spent last night and this morning with is in an open non monogamous relationship, he has other play partners as well as me. Suits me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Badly. I believed everything I was told and felt immensely close.

When I questioned and wanted time,I eventually was met with hostility and told I was asking for too much. I get that people can't cope with a double life and have to choose and I was likely to get hurt. 8 years was a long time to not even get an I'm sorry but I can't do this message.

No matter the temptation it's not going to end well. Seek a simpler choice.

This sounds familiar "

Sadly the odds are with it not ending well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had an affair years ago. It always ends badly and i would never recommend it. I am deeply ashamed of what happened and ultimately it caused the breakdown of my marriage

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


" Badly. I believed everything I was told and felt immensely close.

When I questioned and wanted time,I eventually was met with hostility and told I was asking for too much. I get that people can't cope with a double life and have to choose and I was likely to get hurt. 8 years was a long time to not even get an I'm sorry but I can't do this message.

No matter the temptation it's not going to end well. Seek a simpler choice.

This sounds familiar

Sadly the odds are with it not ending well "

I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Badly. I believed everything I was told and felt immensely close.

When I questioned and wanted time,I eventually was met with hostility and told I was asking for too much. I get that people can't cope with a double life and have to choose and I was likely to get hurt. 8 years was a long time to not even get an I'm sorry but I can't do this message.

No matter the temptation it's not going to end well. Seek a simpler choice.

This sounds familiar "

People do things without TRULLY thinking. I'm no angel. I did the anger and depression and bargaining. But in the end you need closure and it's cruel if even during the worst of deceit...you don't get honesty at the end. Ridiculous as that sounds.

Hiding yourself from the world for a few choice moments with another who promises nothing can cause a lot of damage to you.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Absolutely broke me! Broke my heart stupidly went against my own advice and got involved with someone in a relationship. Still hurts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i saw someone for 9 months that i really fell for, had no idea he was married...found out completely by chance that not only did he live practically on my doorstep, but that he'd got married to the partner he'd been with 15 years during the time we were seeing each other...taught me that i can't trust my own judgement as much as i thought i could. not a mistake i'll make again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i saw someone for 9 months that i really fell for, had no idea he was married...found out completely by chance that not only did he live practically on my doorstep, but that he'd got married to the partner he'd been with 15 years during the time we were seeing each other...taught me that i can't trust my own judgement as much as i thought i could. not a mistake i'll make again"

Learning to trust your own judgement again is very hard....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am married but also the women to a man.

I love both men they both have qualities that make me happy, if I could have it all in 1 package I would be a very happy women.

Yes I do feel a little bit guilty towards his wife and kids. We try to get together when we can and not to interrupt 'real life'.

My hubby is very happy with the situation as am I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the other woman, I didn't know the woman so it kinda didn't bother me because I fancied the arse off this man, we will be together 9 years next month!!

Sometimes the couple really just are not working but neither no how to get out, I guess I was the good reason to finish things!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been the other man, but never the other woman.

Most of the time it's just sort of fizzled out and just stopped. It's usually been women I've worked with and it's usually all ok afterwards.

All that being said, one other half did find out. The trouble it caused and the effort to sort it out really wasn't worth it.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I know someone who had an affair, she left her husband. They got married, had a child and lived happily for 20 years until she died

It was nice to see that person happy, she deserved it.

Everyone deserves happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the woman and the other woman as I was married and the person I had an affair with was in a relationship too.

We both left our partners and had a relationship that lasted about 12 years which ended amicably a few years ago.

Yes people got hurt and I regret certain things but I don't regret having the affair or getting together with him at that time.

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Thank you all for sharing. Both reassuring and sad to read I'm not alone in my situation.

If only I was cold and heartless, like people paint women like me out to be. It wouldn't hurt then.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Thank you all for sharing. Both reassuring and sad to read I'm not alone in my situation.

If only I was cold and heartless, like people paint women like me out to be. It wouldn't hurt then. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for sharing. Both reassuring and sad to read I'm not alone in my situation.

If only I was cold and heartless, like people paint women like me out to be. It wouldn't hurt then. "

It's difficult, I like to keep my feelings hidden away. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for sharing. Both reassuring and sad to read I'm not alone in my situation.

If only I was cold and heartless, like people paint women like me out to be. It wouldn't hurt then.

It's difficult, I like to keep my feelings hidden away. xx"

We can't help who we fall in love with ladies xx

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By *yldstyle OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"Thank you all for sharing. Both reassuring and sad to read I'm not alone in my situation.

If only I was cold and heartless, like people paint women like me out to be. It wouldn't hurt then.

It's difficult, I like to keep my feelings hidden away. xx

We can't help who we fall in love with ladies xx"

Never a truer word spoken

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Thank you all for sharing. Both reassuring and sad to read I'm not alone in my situation.

If only I was cold and heartless, like people paint women like me out to be. It wouldn't hurt then.

It's difficult, I like to keep my feelings hidden away. xx

We can't help who we fall in love with ladies xx"

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