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You know you have been watching too much porn when...

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

You know the names of all the actresses

And the director

And the cameraman

Next?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your cock is swollen and hurting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U go blind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wank but nothing but sand appears....because you've wanked yourself dry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're watching repeats

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

You're sitting in a puddle

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

you get blisters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You ask a woman if she squirts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You ask a woman if she squirts. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your browser "favourites" the sites

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By *owdyboy 890Man
over a year ago

Country West

Your looking at yourself in them xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've maxed out your credit card on porn subscriptions!

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By *hekaiserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Try and re-enact "public pickups" only to get a slap on the face and NOT a bj...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think sex goes:

1) feel her boobs

2) get hot blow job

3) jackhammer her pussy

4) jackhammer her ass

5) jackhammer her ass and her pussy alternately

6) spaff on her norks

7) get paid.

Also... Her bum will be immaculate any time you jump her without prep time, she won't fart or get the giggles, she will orgasm uncontrollably from 30 seconds of fingerblasting and she LOVES getting baby batter in her eyes!

Then my son, you know you have watched too much porn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think sex goes:

1) feel her boobs

2) get hot blow job

3) jackhammer her pussy

4) jackhammer her ass

5) jackhammer her ass and her pussy alternately

6) spaff on her norks

7) get paid.

Also... Her bum will be immaculate any time you jump her without prep time, she won't fart or get the giggles, she will orgasm uncontrollably from 30 seconds of fingerblasting and she LOVES getting baby batter in her eyes!

Then my son, you know you have watched too much porn.

"

Like Mills n Boon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think sex goes:

1) feel her boobs

2) get hot blow job

3) jackhammer her pussy

4) jackhammer her ass

5) jackhammer her ass and her pussy alternately

6) spaff on her norks

7) get paid.

Also... Her bum will be immaculate any time you jump her without prep time, she won't fart or get the giggles, she will orgasm uncontrollably from 30 seconds of fingerblasting and she LOVES getting baby batter in her eyes!

Then my son, you know you have watched too much porn.

Like Mills n Boon "

I'm all about the romance darling.

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By *AA123Couple
over a year ago

Lichfield

You know more about the layout of California houses with swimming pools than you do your own house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've maxed out your credit card on porn subscriptions!"

Damn that would be bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have subscriptions to four sites and people who sell memberships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You expect girls to be very noisy and do lots of "oooh yeah, fuck my pussy" type comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.... everything you look at resembles genitalia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You recite the script perfectly as you watch, including every moan, groan, and breath. And at the end they stars wave and bid you farewell. By name.

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

You read all the end credits to see if you know the fluffer

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

You read all the end credits to see if you know the fluffer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you help a stranded woman at the side of the road and she doesn't have sex with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can only get an erection when watching it, real sex doesn't do it for you.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Your wanking arm and hand is much bigger than the other!

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

You don't take your shoes off!

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING


"If you think sex goes:

1) feel her boobs

2) get hot blow job

3) jackhammer her pussy

4) jackhammer her ass

5) jackhammer her ass and her pussy alternately

6) spaff on her norks

7) get paid.

Also... Her bum will be immaculate any time you jump her without prep time, she won't fart or get the giggles, she will orgasm uncontrollably from 30 seconds of fingerblasting and she LOVES getting baby batter in her eyes!

Then my son, you know you have watched too much porn.

"

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

You sign on at night school for a plumbing course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get disappointed when the masseuse doesn't use her naked oily body to rub you down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your housemate puts a lock on over 18 material...... awkward!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get the fear if someone uses your laptop. Did you remember to go incognito that last time?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to use 4G to even come on fabs!

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By *atsun xxxMan
over a year ago

Nr LOUTH Lincolnshire

When your typing and your fingers stick on the P_O_R_N Letters xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get the fear if someone uses your laptop. Did you remember to go incognito that last time?!? "

Whats Incognito mean?

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By *eodon48Man
over a year ago

Croydon

when you don't wanna watch anymore porn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You start criticising the drapes, bed sheets and saloon layout.

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By *addytMan
over a year ago

Downpatrick

You're wanking and realise it's your mum getting shat on lol

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By *4gnumprMan
over a year ago

telford

The pause button won't work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. When you check the pizza box for a hole

2. When you check the taxi for hidden cameras

3. When you get instantly horny whenever you hear a foreign voice

4. When you start humming dodgy music that you can't place, but the tune makes you horny

5. When you flick through the channels on the tv and see BBC, and your first thought isn't what station it's on.

6. You start ringing around for a pool cleaner and you don't own a pool

7. When you come out of a dressing room and are devastated that no one jumped in with you

8. when you search the dressing room for hidden camera's

To name a few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get a prune finger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You wank but nothing but sand appears....because you've wanked yourself dry! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you hope the taxi driver is female!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get a prune finger! "

or you get hairy palms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You recognize the actors without seeing their faces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get the fear if someone uses your laptop. Did you remember to go incognito that last time?!?

Whats Incognito mean?"

On chrome browser, private mode so your history isn't saved!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think sex goes:

1) feel her boobs

2) get hot blow job

3) jackhammer her pussy

4) jackhammer her ass

5) jackhammer her ass and her pussy alternately

6) spaff on her norks

7) get paid.

Also... Her bum will be immaculate any time you jump her without prep time, she won't fart or get the giggles, she will orgasm uncontrollably from 30 seconds of fingerblasting and she LOVES getting baby batter in her eyes!

Then my son, you know you have watched too much porn.

"

Lol this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You spit on your hotdog before you put it in your mouth

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

you see the same films over and over again and the actors look skanky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think sex goes:

1) feel her boobs

2) get hot blow job

3) jackhammer her pussy

4) jackhammer her ass

5) jackhammer her ass and her pussy alternately

6) spaff on her norks

7) get paid.

Also... Her bum will be immaculate any time you jump her without prep time, she won't fart or get the giggles, she will orgasm uncontrollably from 30 seconds of fingerblasting and she LOVES getting baby batter in her eyes!

Then my son, you know you have watched too much porn.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You type an x into Google and it auto fills with all the porn sites beginning with x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can tell what drugs they are on by their eye rolls when mr hung donkey splits them in two and they are wailing harder then you have seen too much

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By *lirty_dirtyCouple
over a year ago

Lingfield

When you start to believe a plumber can come to your house that quickly

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

No woman can suck cock like you think women do........

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By *olgate OP   Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

You can recognise the plastic surgeon by looking at the actresses plastic tits

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By *aaLaaWoman
over a year ago

Pontesbury

When you type F into google search bar you get fabswingers rather than Facebook as your first option.

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By *uddlytoy123Man
over a year ago

Preesall

Doctor diagnoses repetative strain injury

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

You see the letters ATM and automatically assume Ass To Mouth

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By *ubSirVient-DefinitionCouple
over a year ago

dukinfield

You get seriously pissed off when your fridge breaks and the engineer says he can fit you in on Friday next week and you're only on Tuesday...... damn you porn industry for making us have unrealistic expectations!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It auto logs you in.

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By *eachPreacherMan
over a year ago

Kent/London

You start sharing it on facebook or twitter (I mean honestly, who does that?)

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