FabSwingers.com forum: Self care on dark days

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get my colouring out to help my mind drift off, bulk watch a favourite show - currently mid-season five of Buffy - and go out to buy something nice to eat, which also serves the purpose of making sure I leave the house.

What do you do?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Walk the dog and bake but not bake same time.

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Visit the seaside and sit watching the waves for hours !

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Take my dog for a very long walk in the woods. All of life's stresses seem to disappear when I see his silly Staffy grin as he chases a big stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how dark the day is. If I can manage it I'll force myself to work or do some chores. The sense of achievement lifts my mood. If not then I tend to stay in bed and eat sweets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk my dog, stroke the cats, talk to friends. Cuddle my daughter, try and get good nutrition (although sometimes I just want junk).

Steer clear of alcohol.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Sleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk or talk to friends about their issues. Always makes mine seem less important.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Walk

Sleep

Listen to music

Drive

Lie in bed and read

Watch a boxset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't interact. I know it's not helpful as such but it means I have to make zero effort which helps me

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"Visit the seaside and sit watching the waves for hours ! "

This. And row. (The boat and blade kind not the shouty kind!)

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I head for the beach and cry it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get my colouring out to help my mind drift off, bulk watch a favourite show - currently mid-season five of Buffy - and go out to buy something nice to eat, which also serves the purpose of making sure I leave the house.

What do you do?

Wallow around doing nothing at all and making myself feel worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gym, go lift heavy weights. Works well for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to Music and try to speak to friends

Too many times I've isolated myself and ended up feeling so much worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sew. Watch some box sets. If im with the kids we get out for a walk in the fields by the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to listen to sad songs and have a good old cry. Then have a mega hot bath with bubbles and read a magazine like Cosmo or something. Then an early night.

These days i just walk the dog and resist the urge to walk off a cliff

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I get out of the house and go for a wander in the woods or a walk around the lake in my local park.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crying is great.

Need that sometimes.

Sometimes I just wallow in it. I don't beat myself up feeling bad for feeling bad. I know it will lift.

Great thread OP. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something quite boring really, I go to work, not only to better myself and family but also to be a net contributor to the country, but I do find that it does the trick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had one of those days today...

so I spent it watching day time TV

finished off with Ghostbusters...

I feel marginally better than I did this morning, but not much...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I throw darts at a picture of my former FWB,s cock and curse heartily xx

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By *on and TammyCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Vigorous exercise soundtracked by loud, fast, angry music then I'll take the dog for a walk soundtracked by loud, fast, angry music. That usually blows the cobwebs away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abuse my body in the gym, it's a kind of self loathing exercise.

Read

Think about my mum and sister battling breast cancer and how hard they are trying to live makes life seem precious

Most of all a nice message off someone beautiful seems to draw the veil away and life seems awesome again!

# aren't we a happy bunch on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go out some place if it's nice, or as i've recently discovered i seem to like gardening. i like fixing stuff, lawnmowers, small contraptions that smoke when they heat up, making stuff too, i can sit in my shed and build stuff for hours, i was up at two a.m the other day building a big fancy ferret hutch from old scrap wood, or part of one anyhow. i find i like to create or mend, give stuff new life. i have an old lawnmower in the shed as we speak waiting for a rainy day so i can sit and tinker with it

reading too sometimes but i really have to love what i'm reading so that comes and goes, it's more a winter thing too.

my ferrets too, love sitting watching them do their thing, we let em in the shed some nights and they play in here, well, the two little ones do, the old boy will find something soft to sleep on after about ten mins

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Double up on medication and stay with my cats

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

I put on my trainers and run...or if lousy weather go to the gym

Listen to music

Watch my favourite films

Talk to random strangers in the forums

Shower....for ages

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Luckily I hardly ever have the time to wallow in lowest darkest moments. On the rare occasions I do I go and chew the fat with some of my oldest closes freinds. Normally finding perspective and the way forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Luckily I hardly ever have the time to wallow in lowest darkest moments. On the rare occasions I do I go and chew the fat with some of my oldest closes freinds. Normally finding perspective and the way forward."

For a lot of people it isn't a case of having the time to 'wallow' or not. A dark day for some means debilitating anguish or despair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a walk somewhere nice a quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a very long time I didn't know anything about self care. I rode the emotional roller coaster and punished myself for whatever misdeed had set off the spiral.

I'm only at the point where I am identifying the spiral and dealing with the over thinking.

Usually when I am at my lowest I retreat and it's hugs and cuddles that brings me out of it

Mr A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go for walks with my earphones in.

And at home listening to, or playing music. Music inspires me to get up and go.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Close the curtains and ignore the world.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

"I just don't interact. I know it's not helpful as such but it means I have to make zero effort which helps me"

I do this too, the closer you are to me, the less likely you are to hear from me, otherwise I'm good at smiling for everybody else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a lot of people it isn't a case of having the time to 'wallow' or not. A dark day for some means debilitating anguish or despair."

Yes. This. A 'dark day' is one where I can barely make myself sit upright on the sofa. I simply don't have the option to keep myself busy or see friends.

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By *RH and HRNCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthen

Depends

Work - I wallow, saying very little

Home - loud music, read or watch a favourite film.

Started meditating a lot lately and that helps s lot xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a lot of people it isn't a case of having the time to 'wallow' or not. A dark day for some means debilitating anguish or despair.

Yes. This. A 'dark day' is one where I can barely make myself sit upright on the sofa. I simply don't have the option to keep myself busy or see friends."

Unfortunately it's the same for me. My average day features many instances of intrusive thoughts triggered by all manner of unremarkable and pedestrian things. As long as I can still function, at work, as a parent, I'm ok with that as it's my 'normal'. A dark day is truly terrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walk my dog

Aromatherapy bath

Read/Listen to music

Sit in my massage chair and with my feet on a foot massager....soothes away the stress

Chat to my naughty friends on kik

Sit in the hot tub

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

For a lot of people it isn't a case of having the time to 'wallow' or not. A dark day for some means debilitating anguish or despair.

Yes. This. A 'dark day' is one where I can barely make myself sit upright on the sofa. I simply don't have the option to keep myself busy or see friends."

I know I have been there and come through the other side. Hopefully never again. Especially when you haven't got the time and too many people are relying on you. I have been so low and my world riped apart. It's fucking honking and wipes you out. But when you got two young kids relying on you all you can and must do plough on through it. You need to find that strength for them. Experience has taught me chewing it over with great mates really helps me to get it off my shoulders and work through it. I am lucky to have the great friends that I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I slumped a couple of hours ago. I've tried messaging a couple of friends to no avail so here I am and here's this post.

Its nice to not feel so alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to exercise but as that's a regular part of my self care it's not necessarily going to work on bad days. So sometimes I shut myself away, hide under the quilt and eat shit. Goes against all advice but it's so rare I do it these days and for years it was happening all the tome it's almost like a treat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take my medication and it goes away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I slumped a couple of hours ago. I've tried messaging a couple of friends to no avail so here I am and here's this post.

Its nice to not feel so alone. "

There's a lot of people on here who understand.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Online forums can be a good outlet and support when your low and no one else to chew things over. Personally speaking I think the key is to keep talking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a lot of people it isn't a case of having the time to 'wallow' or not. A dark day for some means debilitating anguish or despair.

Yes. This. A 'dark day' is one where I can barely make myself sit upright on the sofa. I simply don't have the option to keep myself busy or see friends.

You are very lucky. I cannot just 'plough on through' nor get out of the house to meet friends when it's dark.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Visit the seaside and sit watching the waves for hours ! "
ditto...my mantra...the waves of the sea bring me back to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm alone, I'll put certain music on.I've got a few 'dark day' CDs which would probably depress people more, but they help me to clear my head.

If I've got company i.e. family and I can't stand anymore, I'll have a 3 hour bath

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

A long quiet walk along the cost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I slumped a couple of hours ago. I've tried messaging a couple of friends to no avail so here I am and here's this post.

Its nice to not feel so alone.

There's a lot of people on here who understand."

Thank you. Feeling really low at the moment and away from my usual support network. Bath and bed will hopefully help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go shopping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many things.

I find flirting with erectjim really cheers me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have darks days in ways of mood.

But when the fatigue from Crohn's disease hits me it knocks me for six, pisses me right off that all I can do is sleep to very little relief unfortunately.

Mrs being there helps and lot and sausage dog snuggles while I pass out for hours are what makes me smile.

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