FabSwingers.com forum: Stay at home mummas!

By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

So me and jake live a traditional life...he works and I watch our raise our beautiful children and look after the home...here's something I want your opinion on..

The other day phoning about a house viewing I was told I had a lot of children by the most patronising woman iv ever spoke too...I have 3 children..is that a lot? I had my first child at 18 so there is a gap! What I struggle with is this constant stigma against us stay at home mums...I'm surrounded by 'modern' women and I'll be honest it makes me feel like less of a woman...if I'm honest I can't say I agree with having a baby and leaving them after 6 weeks with a childminder 7am-7pm and it's something I'm not prepared to do now although I did work long hours with my first and missed out on so much and something I regret massively...as my children get older I will start working again but while they are young it's just not going to happen. Am I lazy for this even tho I work around the clock...I don't even pee alone! Lol how do u ladies feel? Are 'modern women' making us look lazy and unambitious? Also men how do u view things? Do u see a stay at home mum as less of a female? Less attractive? Jake tells me it's the opposite so I would like to know.....

(Ps this is in no way meant to be a competition..I understand some ladies need to work for financial commitments and I understand I'm lucky enough to have a husband who can look after us all...keep things nice please)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know how you do it. FairPlay it's tough to stay at home. I work full time but the hours are favourable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally take no notice.

When I was with my ex he worked and I stayed at home. If I could of I'd of returned to work. But I didn't have the support needed to be able to do that. My kids have learning disabilities so I didn't want to leave them with a stranger.

You do what feels right for you an your family. There's nothing wrong with having a traditional family. We live in a society where if you stay at home you're lazy, but if you work you're neglecting your children. So you won't win either way.

I think 3 kids is average tbh. It's not a lot, well not when I know someone who has 9 lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been a working mum and a stay at home mum and I much prefer the latter...

I wouldn't say 3 children is a lot either, I am one of 4 and my mum stayed at home to look after us..

I don't think it makes you any less of a woman if you aren't out there doing the earning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you are fortunate to be in the postion where you can financially afford to go down the traditional stay at home mom route. I do wonder how many comments you receive have an element of jealousy to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you sure these "modern women" aren't envious that you get to stay at home?

As you said you are in a position where your husband looks after his family and I assume you don't claim any benifits - so its fuck all to do with anyone else.

Enjoy your children while theyre little, enjoy not being in full time work and tell the condecending bitches to shut up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having done it both ways - stay at home Mum and working Mum I can honestly say the stay at home 24/7 was harder

My son's Dad worked away so I found it very isolating going from working full time to not working

Unfortunately we eventually split up so I was a single working parent

Would say I had a great balance when I term time only work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum did the same stayed at home until I being the youngest went to reception and then she did part time to fit in around school hours, my dad worked shifts and as a policeman wasnt guaranteed to finish on time or sometimes be made to do double shifts.

3 isnt too many its a perfectly average family, my mum was 1 of 9 now thats a lot!!

Aslong as you are both happy and your children are happy keep going on with life as you wish!

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By *inaryGuyMan
over a year ago

Near the River

Well done for doing what most of us see is a thankless, unpaid job. Aside from financial and own career aspirations,which are themselves enormous issues, I can only see positives to having someone stay at home to raise the family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a male perspective.

3 children is not alot. It's wrong that women should be stigmatised for wanting to be full time mums, they should be given more support, if not by their partner then by the state. I don't understand this drive that some women have to return to work so soon after childbirth. Surely the cost of childcare negates the extra income.

Hats off to all you stay at homers, you do a valuable job and should be rewarded, not vilified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years back I had quite an active discussion with my best friend, who is very political and much more feminist than me. She's always worked full time as a mother of 2. I have always worked part time to accommodate my family but took a few years off when my children were very young. I've had the benefit of things like childcare vouchers which makes it more affordable for women to return to work. Where my friend and I disagreed was that I don't expect the government to provide financial incentives to women returning to work. There is a culture for women to juggle a career and a family, and I admit I got sucked into that culture too. Sometimes I wonder if I could have done more for my children if I had sacrificed maintaining my career, albeit minimally and part time.

Mrs

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We were lucky that we didn't need my wage so I packed up work at seven months pregnant with the first and didn't work again until my youngest was 9 and that was out of choice for me.

Saying that things were much different when our kids were young than they are now , the woman stayed at home more.

I would say sod anyone elses views, it is what you both want that matters.I just find it odd that people would actually say those things t someone they don't know.

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

My years as a stay at home dad were the most rewarding and productive work I've ever done. I couldn't care what anyone else thought about it. I know my kids loved it

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Thank you so much for your views... I think it's just the difference in stature that us stay at home mummy's have in society compared to working mums. I think the average sized family is going down..which is why I receive such comments when I say I have 3..a lot of my friends have had one and thought fuck that and gone back to work..I don't think that's their fault..we live in a very selfish society nowadays. Knew I could rely on some non judgy support and logic from u all! Thanks girls and guys! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My years as a stay at home dad were the most rewarding and productive work I've ever done. I couldn't care what anyone else thought about it. I know my kids loved it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, three children is alot. I was brought up an only child and I don't want any children.

I would suggest that the stigma in society against stay at home mums is far less than the stigma in society against women who choose not to have children. I have been asked quite a few times why I'm bothering with postgraduate education, because it will be too late for me to have children and look after them after I've finished...

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

It's sad that it's talked about like right or wrong thing. It's a personal choice either way with pro's and con's to both. Not all women are suited to be stay at home mums nor are all women suited to have serious careers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if you have the option to stay at home full time then you are fortunate. If you can dedicate all your time and effort to one thing then you are going to be better at it than having to devide your time and juggle resources.

This applies to your work life and home life.

This doesn't mean that you won't do a descent job of either, just that you will be asking more of yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's sad that it's talked about like right or wrong thing. It's a personal choice either way with pro's and con's to both. Not all women are suited to be stay at home mums nor are all women suited to have serious careers. "

Quite. Just like some men are not suited to serious careers, and some men would be better as stay at home dads.

(Some of my friends who are stay at home dads... they are treated the absolute worst. They are constantly emasculated by people.)

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Quite. Just like some men are not suited to serious careers, and some men would be better as stay at home dads.

(Some of my friends who are stay at home dads... they are treated the absolute worst. They are constantly emasculated by people.)"

I find it an odd point of view that fathering / raising children could be thought of as un-manly. Traditional definitions of masculinity are centered around being a leader, there's nothing manly about having children and subsequently having fuck all to do with them.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Hi op,i dont have or want children,but doesn't mean i can't appreciate thats it hard work raising them.

3 isnt too many at all and agree with others that some maybe jealous of your situation.

Just ignore the people making negative comments and know you are doing a worthwhile job .

Miss

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Do what makes you happy. Some people can be condescending on both sides of this. I don't think 3 is a big family. And I think people who are are able to choose to stay at home are lucky and I'm under no illusion that it's the easy option!

I have kids and have always worked full time out of necessity to provide for our family rather than drive for a career and not because we had an extravagant lifestyle.

It was tough leaving them when they were so little and in some ways I do wish things might have been different. I reconciled myself with the fact that my ex was a shift worker so the kids had one or both of us with them 4 days out of 7.

However, hindsight being the wonderful thing it is, I am glad I kept that independence, particularly my financial independence through working as I've no doubt I would have found the whole break up 2 years ago even more difficult had I been financially dependent on him. As it is I am able to support myself and my children on my own.

Horses for courses, everyone needs to find what works for them and their family (and mind their own business!)

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By *azza80Woman
over a year ago

Your wildest Dreams

Wel if people think 3 is alot then thats me fucked...in more ways than one..cuz ive had 6 and only 3 liv at home wiv me now.. 3 teens and 3 littluns! My kidz are my number one priority and come before anyone and anything

I dont work due to my youngest having health issues so alot of hospital appointments meaning I cant commit to a job. I used to be a model and a barmaid/silver service waitress but had to giv it up due to pregnancy.. I miss working but kidz come first ALWAYS.

Mrsmazza x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first became pregnant, we said there and then that we'd always have one of us at home with the children. Over the years we've both been stay at home parents, i can't say I've ever felt others were judging me for our decisions, but i tend to be oblivious to judgement anyway.

It works for us and I think our children benefit from always having one of us about.

It is difficult at times, we need to choose between fancy holidays and home improvement, but it suits us so wouldn't have it any other way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iv 4 children. 17 16 12 & 7 im single & always worked iv worked both days & nights 12 hour shifts. its just something i had to do to pay my mortgage. if i had my time again or had a partner i would definitely stay at home with my children would encourage others to. as for 3 been a lot i wouldn't say so & its you that has to bring them up & pay for them xx

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Really respect all your opinions thank you...and I definatly agree it's a personal choice...I do think I am fortunate yes but it definitely is the harder option..no matter how good my husbands wage may or may not be to support 5 people off one wage is a massive ask in this country...we certainly aren't living in luxury but it's a price we pay for having me there for the kids at all times. I hate that this country means you have to choose between a big family or a career...but the state of our government is a whole other post ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that this country means you have to choose between a big family or a career...but the state of our government is a whole other post ????"

A big family *is* a career.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you are fortunate to be in the postion where you can financially afford to go down the traditional stay at home mom route. I do wonder how many comments you receive have an element of jealousy to them"

When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did.

I'd be careful about saying someone is fortunate to be able to afford to stay home with the kids. Sometimes going back to work isn't financially viable. If she'd have gone back to work, once child care was factored in, we'd have been about £100 worse off then if she stayed home. She was a career woman and found it really hard giving up part of her life to stay home and look after our daughter. It was really hard watching her be so torn, knowing what she wanted, but what our finances allowed.

I take my hat off to any woman that has a baby, whether you go back to work or become a stay at home mum. Both paths are hard and both come with some social stigma behind them.

Stay at home - lazy

Go back to work - uncaring

Women should do what is right for them and their child and anyone who has a gripe with how they chose to parent should do one in my opinion.

Oh, and just to finish, stay at home mums are hot! Nothing like a naughty rendezvous after dropping at the school gates in the morning, much more fun than the house work. And career women, you're hot too, but are saved for the evenings and weekends.

Either way, mummas, you're hot and you rock!

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

[Removed by poster at 12/04/17 12:22:56]

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"I hate that this country means you have to choose between a big family or a career...but the state of our government is a whole other post ????

A big family *is* a career."

Very true actually....x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go to work for a rest. As much as i love my children (and i really, really do!) they are hard work. Nobody ever tells you, honestly, how much work children are and can be, nor the impact they can have on relationships.

Being a stay at home mum is not an easy option by any means and i respect those who can do it, because i couldn't, even if i could have afforded to.

How many children you have, is really nobody elses business so tell the next nosey bint to wind her neck in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello OP,

Firstly, there is nothing lazy about being a stay at home mum! Being a mum is more work than doing a full time 9-5 job, because there are no set hours, and once you little ones stop having a nap during the day, you generally get no let up from the moment you wake up, until the moment they go to sleep, and even then there are generally things that need doing ready for the next day!

I couldn't afford not to work when my children were little, but I did manage to go from full time to part time work, and fit my hours around school, to minimise the effect of me working, on my children.

I'll freely admit that going to work was much easier than staying at home with my children. For the most part I was sat down all day (I'm an accountant) and although the work is mentally taxing (excuse the pun), I also got to mix with other adults, and have a lunch break which meant time to myself. I still had all the domestic stuff to do when I got home from work, but physically I had more energy to get it done.

People will always have an opinion on your life and how you live it, negative comments are generally borne out of jealousy, insecurity or a lack of understanding. There is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to having a family, as long as you (and your children) are happy with the way you live your life, and the way you raise your children, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

There’s a lot of guilt involved in being a mum, we constantly feel under pressure to do better, to do more, but at the end of the day, as long as your children are well cared for, they feel happy, loved and supported, then you’re doing a good job as a mum, whether you’re a stay at home mum like you, or a working mum like me.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my goodness! You are no means lazy for staying at home with your young children, it is a full time job in itself. If mothers are fortunate enough to not have to go to work once giving birth then this is a blessing in my opinion. Some women feel going back to work makes them better mothers so this is right for them and if they can cope with the exhaustion of juggling both jobs then thats great. Never feel less of a person for being a home carer i as a working mom would love to have more time at home and have often felt guilty not being able to do so. Not leaving the house to go to a job other than the one you have at home does not make you less attractive or sexy, being happy and fulfilled in life and raising a happy familly is the most important job in the world and what is right for one familly may not always be right for another. There will always be people who think they know it all and its their way or no way. I work with people who act like this-stick their noses into other peoples job rolls and yet their own job doesn't get done. Stuff what anyone else thinks enjoy being a mother cos they grow up so quick, and never feel guilty about your choice as its a fantastic choice and you are fabulous xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try going one step further, I'm a stay at home *single* mum. I have a health condition that means I can't work (at the moment). I'm hoping it'll improve so I can work, but even if/when I get to that point, I have almost no support with my kids so I'd struggle with hours, school runs, after school activities etc because there's me or nothing. Their dad rocks up like a wet weekend when it suits him, which isn't often. When people I meet realise that I'm a single mum who doesn't work, their faces often give away their judgment of me. I'm not in this position because I choose to be.

Three kids isn't a lot at all. Lots of women would love to be in your position, you're actually really lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 children isn't a lot...I have more as do many of my friends. I've been both a full-time mum and had a career, and tbh women can't win - there's always someone with a condescending opinion on why we choose to raise a family/work.

I've managed to get the right balance for me and my family, with a great contract that allows flexible working. But it was incredibly difficult and I had to fight for it. And my employers always *assumed* I would be having another baby every couple of years

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

3 kids is average, i have 4.

thing is, with landlords, they don't really want their properties using and therefore contributing towards them having to maintain that property. so you being at home all day is one problem for them, you having kids means kids at home with you also. wear on tear on the house means possible costs for them in the near future, even if it's only the carpets cleaning/replacing, and redecorating when you move out.

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

I personally don't think 3 is a lot either...I'm not done myself actually..I love the thought of a big family but it's definitely becoming the rare thing...a lot of couples choose to have only one or two and the sad thing is a lot...not all...but a lot of it's because the pressure of living in the uk is ridiculous...the cost of living is massive. There is no thought for family life in this country. As for the landlord situation I understand I really do...but I do feel like it's some sort of discrimination..I'm actually a full time career for my eldest as he's registered disabled so technically me staying at home isn't just by choice..although if situations were different I'd still choose to be at home. But it's nice to know not everyone is so judgmental! Thank you for your kind words you are all doing a great job!

Ps I didn't see the bonus in posting this...lots of hot mummy's to perve on..don't mind me ladies...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"3 kids is average, i have 4.

3 is not the average think its 1.8 or something.

Its called the demographic timebomb the ratio of people at working age to pensioners.

Its an interesting subject im telling you thats why angie merkal is letting all those people into germany

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Pfft! Working was a holiday compared!

Even Bradley will admit that going to work is easier than staying at home looking after the kids.

We have two but our eldest is also disabled with Cerebral palsy and epilepsy and requiring 100% 24/7 care, so although it wasn't a choice to stay at home initially that is now the case and I work harder now than I ever have in any job.

As well as the usual kiddy stuff there are countless hours of therapy, physio, appointments, administration, reports, medication, cleaning and maintenance of medical equiptment and pureeing all of his meals, as well as physically having to feed and hydrate him throughout the day.

I'd invite anyone who thinks I sit on my arse all day, drinking tea and watching Jeremy Kyle to spend 24hrs in my shoes. They'd get the shock of their lives.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it

Personally... I am a single parent of 2 and work 50+ hours a week... yet I have to contribute my hard earned coin to the mums that can't be bothered to get dressed in a morning. I've never claimed a penny and nor would i.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it

Dole dossing*** (typing with fury)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the risk of a "mumsnet" style slating, isn't having children a lifestyle choice rather than a job? I brought up 4 kids and it was honestly much easier than any job I've ever done. No commute, no boss hassling for deadlines and productivity, always a cup of tea and a sit-down when I felt like it and lots of other mums with time on their hands to join me for a cuppa. I'd rather go back to that than work.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"3 kids is average, i have 4.

3 is not the average think its 1.8 or something.

Its called the demographic timebomb the ratio of people at working age to pensioners.

Its an interesting subject im telling you thats why angie merkal is letting all those people into germany "

it's gone down a fair bit, interesting to find out the actual number though, thanks.

to add to what you're saying science is progressing very nicely towards replacing parts and fixing cells. longevity of life should also come with physical quality of body improving/advancing very soon.

unfortunately automation of employers means a new problem we have to over come and should have overcome decaeds ago.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"3 kids is average, i have 4.

3 is not the average think its 1.8 or something.

Its called the demographic timebomb the ratio of people at working age to pensioners.

Its an interesting subject im telling you thats why angie merkal is letting all those people into germany "

1.8 is the european average yes, so pretty much everyones pension will be worth jack shit without either increased immigration or workplace automation (robots).

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it

Thanks for your comment hotness! Here's where I have to disagree a little...I think it's unfair when mums get the brunt of taking the decision to stay at home to raise their children if the dad hasn't been willing to step up...and here's where I may make some male enemies although it's not meant in disrespect...I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..I do understand that unfortunately this is sometimes hard if you already have huge financial responsibilities..and I myself had to work due to this but I'll be honest looking back I wish I had taken that few years and sat on benefits and been there to witness my sons first steps...having lost his twin I can say there's no price on them moments. it's a hard one but us females definatly get it tough xx

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By *khotcouple20 OP Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Us mummy's raise the future generation..to take a few years out to concentrate on this is not a crime..media don't help the stigma..all these 'benefit' programs...I'd like for them one day to announce how much tax goes into the benefit pot compared to the cost of travelling expenses used by the royal family..or war costs..I know I'd rather my tax money went to Mary struggling down the road with 4 kids coz daves done one..I think the old bat in her massive mansion and 20 thousand other places she can live will be alright....*rant over* haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't understand the stigma with stay at home moms, but I for sure would enjoy to be a stay at home dad!

Grab a camera, set up some scenarios and the possibilities are endless, upload the content on the internet too of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't pay any attention. As long as you're happy, who are they to tell you how to live your life. Tbh the woman you're talking about is probably just jealous of you.

P.s. (Little off topic) but you have an incredible body. Xxx

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Don't understand the stigma with stay at home moms, but I for sure would enjoy to be a stay at home dad!

I dont understand stigma against any sort of decision relating to ones family including women who don't want children, house wives or career ladies...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it

I'm glad you said this. Single mums get the brunt of it, when the problem often is the so-called father who buggered off leaving them in that position. The number of real life women who "get pregnant to get a council house" and then scrounge off the tax payer is actually tiny. The number of women struggling to get by because the father of their kids has left them in the lurch is much, much higher.

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By *he ODBMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I wouldn't say I'm traditional in my views. I don't see a woman's place as at home. Having said that I would've preferred my ex to be a stay at home mum . I asked and she refused. If she made more than I did I'd have wanted to stay at home. For me it's a matter of income nothing else. If you can afford one half to stay at home to raise the kids then I say it's preferable. Why let childminders experience the best years of the kids lives that should be for parents.

People get too hung up on occupation/career. I'm a qualified engineer done it all my life. It involved working away from home mostly. I dropped it like a hot potato when Jr was old enough to notice if I was away. It was an extremely comfortable wage I was giving up but I still have no regrets. I don't feel like less of a man anymore than I felt like more of a man over someone unemployed. Can go back to it when she's older. Your kids only grow up once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am at the moment a stay at home mum but I am self employed so taken so time off work. I have always stopped working for at least a year after I have had my children. I have breastfed, co-slept and carried them in a sling. To me the first year is almost a extension of pregnancy and have always really nurtured that time we have when they are little. It's a hugely important role to be a stay at home Mum and I think you should really value it. I think if your husband can financially support you and you enjoy it,then your doing the best thing. We should be supporting working mums and stay at home mums as all we are trying to do is our best..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not read the whole thread so forgive me if this has already been said..but...

1. Do what works for you and your family.

2. Fuck the detractors.

3. Repeat steps 1 and 2

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I have 3 children, I gave up working full time just before I had my first one. Then I starting working part time when my daughter (youngest) went to school. I wanted to be there for them when they were little and I wouldn't change that for the world. My job is pretty flexible so I'm quite lucky in that respect.

I do think at 27 you are young to have 3 kids tbh but that's just my opinion. You sound like a great mum and that's what counts

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"The problem I have is dole dissing stay at home mums. If your husband is supporting you financially and you aren't a burden on the rest of us.. then you crack on and enjoy it

i enjoyed doing that, my ex walked away from his 2 kids and left me to it.

being on benefits was really hard, no money and i had no support from family either. i was quite fortunate to find a cash in hand job for 3 months where i could take my son with me as this meant i could buy furniture for my house and have the heating on, little things like that mean a lot when you're poor, after those few months i never found another job where i could take my kids with me and no way could i find one where the money was good enough to pay for someone to look after my sons. this is like 20 yrs ago and there was no support off the government other than measly benefits -but i had a home and my kids and was happy enough, stressed at times but mostly happy.

it was very fulfilling as a parental role and i never understood how my ex could just walk away from his kids like he did.

i'm now learning a lot more now i have the time and money to be fortunate enough to do that and i'm teaching my kids what i am learning because i want better for them that what i got dealt with. i also hope to get a brilliant job off this myself but will have to wait and see. so long as we're managing and i have the time to do what i want life is good anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a male perspective.

Hats off to all you stay at homers, you do a valuable job and should be rewarded, not vilified."

I hate the term full time mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young.."

The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better.

There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young.

And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason."

I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.

I don't get tax credits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.

I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.

I don't get tax credits"

So...who pays for you benefit then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I just like to say well done to all u mums who stay home and look after your children. Can't fault it. All mums are great and I sure miss mine and she always worked never spent much time with my parents growing up. All your children will be thank full when they are older that I have taken good care of them.

Well done ladies. (Mummy's)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.

I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.

I don't get tax credits

So...who pays for you benefit then?"

Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I just like to say well done to all u mums who stay home and look after your children. Can't fault it. All mums are great and I sure miss mine and she always worked never spent much time with my parents growing up. All your children will be thank full when they are older that I have taken good care of them.

Well done ladies. (Mummy's)"

Will they?

I look up to my mum and have the utmost respect for her for raising us and succeeding so far in her career. She is an inspiration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..

The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better.

There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young.

And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad."

Agree that there's no problem with a stay at home dad but there are biological and neurological differences between men and women that mean women are always more likely to be primary care givers and men are always more likely to be primary bread winners. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with a reversal of the roles since variation is a natural process.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.

I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.

I don't get tax credits"

you do have to choose to receive child benefits coz it's not available to everyone now, but fair enough you only receive that as it's not for you anyway and is for your kids.

most people i know who trot out what you say are usually claiming tax credits too so that's why i always ask them. thanks for replying.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?"

it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?"

I do do a lot for charity. Do i donate the ful £132 of it to charity.. No I do not. I spend it on my children

I wonder what money the 'stay at home mummys' use to pay their fab subscription and buy their sexy outfits....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having children is a choice. If you need support from tax payers to raise your own kids then don't have them!

If you got pregnant by accident and don't believe in abortion then keep your bloody legs shut.

I shall await the hate mail with pride of my own views

just wondering if you get working tax credits? for the obvious reason.

I get child benefit.. which you don't claim.. you get it by registering a child's birth.

I don't get tax credits

you do have to choose to receive child benefits coz it's not available to everyone now, but fair enough you only receive that as it's not for you anyway and is for your kids.

most people i know who trot out what you say are usually claiming tax credits too so that's why i always ask them. thanks for replying.

Because my childcare bill is so high.. I am entitled to a small amount but do not claim this. I chose to work therefore I will pay for the childcare I need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..

The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better.

There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young.

And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?

it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs."

I understand that. What I'm asking is, if she thinks you shouldn't have kids of she needs child benefits what she does with the child benefit which (by following her own logic) she doesn't even need.

Personally I'd prefer my tax payer money to go to parents who need support to raise their children than those who don't

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?

I do do a lot for charity. Do i donate the ful £132 of it to charity.. No I do not. I spend it on my children

I wonder what money the 'stay at home mummys' use to pay their fab subscription and buy their sexy outfits.... "

i didn't have enough money for outfits or subscriptions to anything when i was an on benefits mum.

but they're legally entitled to claim whatever money they're getting so they can buy whatever they can afford and don't have to feel guilty about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should do what's right for them . No one should be judged stay at home or working mums

I find it interesting that you've made a comment about someone having one child and returning to work being part of a selfish society

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should do what's right for them . No one should be judged stay at home or working mums

I find it interesting that you've made a comment about someone having one child and returning to work being part of a selfish society "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?

it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs.

I understand that. What I'm asking is, if she thinks you shouldn't have kids of she needs child benefits what she does with the child benefit which (by following her own logic) she doesn't even need.

Personally I'd prefer my tax payer money to go to parents who need support to raise their children than those who don't "

But what if they had the choice of working or just claiming instead. Don't you think that money could go to a better use?

Feeding and clothing the homeless. Medical research. Cancer patient support. Better hospitals. Better schools.....

These days parents are still claiming when kids are school age. The government have been forced to offer free nursery places to tots because when they get to school age they are so far behind they can't keep up. Parents are getting ( in some cases) up to 30 hours a week free childcare whilst they watch day time tv!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..

The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better.

There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young.

And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad.

Actually... there have been multiple studies which largely debunk what you just said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did.

100% this. Frankly I am surprised at how many posts say staying at home is a luxury, or that people are lucky to be able to afford to live on one salary. Many mothers cannot afford to work as their pay would barely cover childcare costs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?

I do do a lot for charity. Do i donate the ful £132 of it to charity.. No I do not. I spend it on my children

I wonder what money the 'stay at home mummys' use to pay their fab subscription and buy their sexy outfits....

i didn't have enough money for outfits or subscriptions to anything when i was an on benefits mum.

but they're legally entitled to claim whatever money they're getting so they can buy whatever they can afford and don't have to feel guilty about that."

Yes I know.. It's a shame really.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"Child benefit is not a claimable benefit and if I could cancel it and ensure it went somewhere else I would.

I can only assume it is immediately donated to charity the moment it comes into your account then?

it's not a benefit for herself, that benefit is directly for the child and it's needs.

I understand that. What I'm asking is, if she thinks you shouldn't have kids of she needs child benefits what she does with the child benefit which (by following her own logic) she doesn't even need.

Personally I'd prefer my tax payer money to go to parents who need support to raise their children than those who don't "

but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing.

there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away.

i suppose it's good to pick and choose what you'd like to happen with anything, and of course you should have a say in this stuff as well (although you'll need a lot of back up before the government will listen), just there's a lot more involved than expecting 'big brother' to take up the slack.

do you honestly wanna see women go hungry because they cannot afford to feed themselves and their kids/ i've been there, it sucks so much. not just coz you can't eat but you're teaching your kids it's ok, as a parent, to go without because you cannot afford something necessary to survive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did.

1. Go to college and get free childcare then when your kids are older you will be qualified in someone useful and can contribute back

2. Take the 15 free hours (30 in some areas)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive ine more thing to say.. before i return to work this evening..

No one gets given a good job on a plate. It's effort and time and commitment from day one. It takes years to get into a position where you can support growing children.

But guess what.... its not luck of the draw.. ANYONE can do it.

I do believe our sole purpose in this life is to reproduce.. but the world is being destroyed by people who think they are owed the world because they made a human.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

We are forever bleating on in these forums about choices and preferences and my feeling is that stay at home mum's and /or dad's should be free to make that choice if they can afford it..

I also think the children can benefit and feel more secure when this happens.

I worked for a while and was paying a child minder that I hardly knew, so decided to quit work and raise (2) kids ..no regrets.

Well done and carry on doing whatever feels right for you.

Well

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

When I was with my partner and had our daughter, it worked out that we were better off with her not going back to work then if she did.

1. Go to college and get free childcare then when your kids are older you will be qualified in someone useful and can contribute back

2. Take the 15 free hours (30 in some areas)

unless you wanna do basic english and maths then college costs money.

i'm learning online, using free courses, and then using PrtScr to 'take pics' of my exam results. it costs me nothing and i can do a 6 week course in several hours, they're easy enough to do. but when my kids were younger we didn't even have the money for the internet so i couldn't do this then either.

society is basically money driven, and something needs to change here because we still haven't got anything in place where all people could have a better life and it wouldn't cost so much if things that improve society were more charitable and everyone had access to them.

i'm very fortunate to have an excess of wealth at this time and acknowledge this but i also am realistic about what is achievable when you are poor because i've been there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing.

there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away.

I think child benefit should be universal.

What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her.

What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes.

I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing.

there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away.

I think child benefit should be universal.

What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her.

What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes.

I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid.

The beauty of a forum is everyone can have and share their own opinion

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing.

there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away.

I think child benefit should be universal.

What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her.

What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes.

I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid.

it's ok. i'm just soft about this stuff coz i've lived it and wouldn't wish what i've been through on anyone, kids don't seem to care much and adapt pretty well to poverty. which is part of the problem i think.

nobody should ever have to do that.

it's all good and well saying don't have kids if you don't want them but mostly everyone wants a family to love and care for. there are worse things to be, as a parent, than poor and dependent on others for money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing.

there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away.

I think child benefit should be universal.

What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her.

What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes.

I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid.

The beauty of a forum is everyone can have and share their own opinion

Absolutely. No matter how cynical, prejudiced and hypocritical that opinion may be.

And I wouldn't have it any other way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but everyone is allowed to claim what they're entitled to and that is a good thing.

there was a lot more poverty when i first had my kids. pressure from poverty groups and charities rectified this somewhat but this government is taking a lot away.

I think child benefit should be universal.

What I'm trying to say to Banshee was that the cynicism she levelled at other parents could do easily be levelled at her.

What she spends on childcare. Other parents spend on food, clothes.

I think demonising people on benefits while receiving a benefit is stupid.

The beauty of a forum is everyone can have and share their own opinion

Absolutely. No matter how cynical, prejudiced and hypocritical that opinion may be.

And I wouldn't have it any other way"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe it is a mans purpose to support his family while it's young..

The sooner we can get rid of these outdated views of gender the better.

There's no reason why it can't be a woman's purpose to support her family while it's young.

And there's no reason why a Dad shouldn't be a stay at home Dad.

Actually... there have been multiple studies which largely debunk what you just said."

I am with you re. moving away from traditional gender roles and reading such phrases as you quoted above make my skin crawl. However I will disagree with denying the biological reality of female reproduction. Pregnancy and especially breastfeeding introduce phenomenal hormonal (and subsequently psychological) changes! They are as monumental as puberty, albeit in a shorter period of time and reversible. Personally I felt the full force of primary maternal preoccupation, it is not something I anticipated as i was never broody, maternal, or raised to believe mothering was my call in life. Not every mother gets this of course, and for those that choose to bottle-feed this disposition can be curtailed. However if you let the hormones do their work, separating mums from babies in the early months is misery (for the mum, the baby mostly needs a reliable cuddle carer!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think anyone who can afford to stay at home is lucky, most women don't have that choice. I run 2 businesses and look after 3 children, it's tough juggling it all and I'm often on guilt trips but I know I'm doing the best that I can for my family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a lone single parent..

Im greatful for the extra financial help from the government.. but i did work while my daughter was young.

If i was with a partner and between us worked out if it was financially viable to stay at home id have loved that option.

With me as her only active parent im glad she has seen me struggle and she now appreciates that money isnt readily available.. fingers crossed she will have a good work ethic also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a stay at home mum as financially it didnt make sense for me to work. Its tough on one salary and a husband who leaves at 5.30 and doesnt get back until any time between 7.30 and 10. I cant honestly say i love being at home. I had a job i loved which i have now completely deskilled at

but there are moments staying at home that i love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 3 under 5.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started work again when my eldest was around 9 months old I believe, then I took time out when I had my youngest and I think she was around 3 when I went back to work. It wasn't worth the childcare at the time.

I take my girls to school and pick them up, my hours are flexible and we have plenty of time together.

I am self employed and love my job and helping to provide for my family. It means Adam can be home more too as he doesn't need to do overtime etc.

Each to their own. I don't really care what others do for their families, I care about what I do for mine.

Not in a horrid way, just a..mind your own business way ha ha.

Eve. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have 3 under 5."

How do you have the energy for Fab? Well done girl

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