FabSwingers.com forum: Pregnant? Maybe maybe not. Should you ask?

By *mber Gambler OP Couple
over a year ago

rugby

Have you ever been guilty of asking a lady if she's pregnant and she isn't. Why did you ask?

Have you been asked if you are pregnant, when you are not?. What did you say before you cried all night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend got asked 10 years ago and is still offended about it now

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I frequently get asked or just congratulated.

My usual response is thanks but I'm just Fat.

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By *cjoyCouple
over a year ago

Galway

I was all dressed up at a family occasion, thought I was looking well. Bumped into an old friend who nodded and winked knowingly as she eyed my belly up!!

Needless to say I didn't wear that dress again

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i usually was pregnant so

do look pregnant now despite my youngest being 13. nobody has asked if i am though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can honestly say, outside of actually being pregnant, I've never been asked...

think I'd be mortified if i was

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I work in womens health. Ive often addressed the accompanying woman of the two as the pregnant patient. Doh

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I never ask anyone if they're pregnant even if its obvious, just in case I was asked "are you pregnant or anything?" when I was about 38 weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wierdly some girls never show signs.. other girls start to 'pop' at 12 weeks or so.

Bigger bump the second baby onwards as well..?

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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"Wierdly some girls never show signs.. other girls start to 'pop' at 12 weeks or so.

Bigger bump the second baby onwards as well..? "

lower baby rather than bigger, usually coz everything's not as strong there if you didn't wait 18 months to fully recover from the last pregnancy.

my babies got smaller the more i had, first 3 were around 10lbs and my last 2 8 pounders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone watched Line of Duty t'other night

NEVER EVER ask if you're unsure unless it's absolutely 100% clear it's a baby bump! Page 1 of the manual!

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By *anda and CatCouple
over a year ago

I've often wanted to ask some men! But that's my devilish side!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I was at my friends party. Saw someone i hadnt seen for ages and said i didnt know you where having another. Im not she said

cue embarrasement all round.

Guess what. She had a little girl christmas eve so i was right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No and no.

I would never mention an apparent pregnancy unless I already knew the woman in question was definitely pregnant or she alluded to it herself.

And nobody has ever known I was pregnant until about 5 months in.

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By *l4yerMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Not me but a female collegue on a business meeting.

Met a female director who was plump and who we knew had become pregnant recently.

Us 'Many congratulations'

Her 'Thank you, really pleased, but not showing yet'

My collegue....'ooh, you are, a lot'.

Kind of bitchy methinks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had someone ask me at a party a few years ago and even some of my own family asked me how long to the babys due

Its not a nice feeling when your out trying to have a good time and someone just comes right out and asks you oh when you due. The look on my face must of said it all. Needless to say we didnt stay long at that party. Lol

It so easy to put weight on but even harder to get it off.

So for the last year and 3 months Ive gone back to doing slimming world at home on my own. I still have nights where I eat what I want but I mainly keep to the good stuff now. During the week I do my best to walk 5km everyday to.

Now to date Ive lost just over 2 stone. And guess what no more bump and no baby..... lol

Its made me so much more confident and I feel sexy again.

Id never ask someone who was out in a club or a party when they was due. Its up to them even if they was. Its a free world after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I frequently get asked or just congratulated.

My usual response is thanks but I'm just Fat."

you're not fat, you're gorgeous xx

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

I've been asked twice....got rid of those clothing items within minutes.

Then again, while pregnant with my 2nd, no one realized I was pregnant til the very end, then were shocked when I said due within weeks, they thought I was around 5 months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With all three of mine I was huge so it was obvious... never been asked in between the kiddos though..

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I had the opposite happen when a social worker imparting the news of a recently diagnosed hereditary life changing and life limiting condition in my ex's family cautioned us to consider the ramifications before starting a family.

I was actually 7 months pregnant at the time

and had to wait 5 years until genetic testing had moved on before thankfully finding out my ex and my child were clear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once asked a lady when's the baby due and she replied I had a little girl 4 weeks ago I have never been so embarrassed

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By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

I was in a further education class taught by a unhappy woman who was very unhappy about her age, her size and her life.

She made no secret of telling us she was seeing a therapist, had issues with her body image and that her favourite sexual position was doggy. She saw us as a captive audience that she could control. I've never seen so many students cringe and look at the clock within 15 minutes of her entering the room, wishing for the class to be over.

I was wearing a sleeveless vest and leggings at the time. It was at 'that time of the month' where one can be a bit more bloated due to water retention.

'Why,'says she,'you're looking a bit big, aren't you? Are you pregnant?'

She looked at me, laughing. I looked at her, and said nothing. You could hear a pin drop.

Then the class continued. I still said nothing, but boy was I fuming.

After the class, some students came up and said how disgusted they were. Before any of you say why didn't they say anything at the time, it was because the tutor would say nothing and get at them another time. And she'd be viscous about it too.

I simply said that I refuse to comment on the matter and that I would be lodging a complaint.

I sent an email to the office within the hour relating the incident that happened in front of witnesses. I also asked was it professional for a member of staff to ask about such things, and if it was appropriate to ask about personal family planning in such an environment.

The next week I went to the class, and she was gone. There was a replacement. They obviously had enough of her too. I had my hand shaken by many a student in my class. She was not popular. At all.

However, I still had the indignity of my stomach being stared at by students from other classes.....sigh... And yes, they did get the death stare.

Sorry about the novel, but I did want to mention this because most of other comments above were mostly mistakes. This was not and no one should take crap off someone who is trying to dump their issues on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been asked but, I may have been guilty of moving in a way that increased the potential of people mistaking me to be, in order to get a seat on the tube.

I'm sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never ask. The risk for getting it wrong is too high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never ask anyone if they're pregnant, for two reasons: (1) I genuinley don't care if they are and (2) when women are pregnant they'll inevitably end up talking about it anyway so there's no need to take the risk and ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was asked in a florists when was my baby due, and I replied that I'd had him 8 hours ago! She was more shocked that I was out and about, but I'd just popped in on the way home from hospital to get flowers for my friend - and I did still look pregnant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seen a lady at a party, clearly pregnant. She looked really well too. I said at a convenient time that she looked amazing. She was embarrassed and escaped the chat amongst a few people. Turned out she just lost a child, I was mortified, kind of like now saying it out loud.

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By *mber Gambler OP Couple
over a year ago

rugby

"I seen a lady at a party, clearly pregnant. She looked really well too. I said at a convenient time that she looked amazing. She was embarrassed and escaped the chat amongst a few people. Turned out she just lost a child, I was mortified, kind of like now saying it out loud.

Oh jeez. That's awful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you ever been guilty of asking a lady if she's pregnant and she isn't. Why did you ask?

Have you been asked if you are pregnant, when you are not?. What did you say before you cried all night?

I once congratulated a colleague on her pregnancy; she wasn't. I was so embarrassed that I wished the Earth would open up and swallow me. Thankfully, she saw it as an honest mistake. She had put on lots of weight around her belly

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The owner & colleagues where i work were in a restuarant recently & the owner asked the waitress if she was pregnant & tapped her stomach. This was in front of his wife too. The whole place was mortified. Hes an abnoxious twat but he stooped to a new low

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never ask anyone if they're pregnant, for two reasons: (1) I genuinley don't care if they are and (2) when women are pregnant they'll inevitably end up talking about it anyway so there's no need to take the risk and ask.

Very practical

- Mrs. J -

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Actually someone that I knew from swinging scene but never played with was at a mutual friends wedding, and looking like she had put weight on.

I didn't want to say anything, however her husband did tell me, and I then congratulatated her, she did say cheekily how do you know I am not fat....well your husband didn't tell me you were fat....cue laughter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I frequently get asked or just congratulated.

My usual response is thanks but I'm just Fat."

This. Gets annoying after a while and it's very satisfying watching then squirm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you work with children you get asked this a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I frequently get asked or just congratulated.

My usual response is thanks but I'm just Fat."

Moi aussi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been asked a couple of times and got very upset as a result. Not in front of the person who asked, afterwards...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember a few weeks after having my first child, a girl I knew came up to me and said omg is this your baby, I proudly said yes, she said I didn't realise you were pregnant, I thought you just got really fat !!

Didn't make me feel to good as I still had alot of baby weight to lose :-/

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By *mber Gambler OP Couple
over a year ago

rugby

"I remember a few weeks after having my first child, a girl I knew came up to me and said omg is this your baby, I proudly said yes, she said I didn't realise you were pregnant, I thought you just got really fat !!

Didn't make me feel to good as I still had alot of baby weight to lose :-/"

I had similar. After having my baby i went out on my own and saw a woman i knew. She said "are you ever going to have that baby?" So i had to then explain I'd had the baby. Several weeks ago.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

I would never comment as I see the result that asking that question has on people. My younger sister has lots of issues and her stomach is often swollen so badly. People have asked her. The irony is she would love to have children but is is not physically possible. She is a caring lady and would be a great mother but will never have the chance. She is devastated everytime some stranger asks her the question. It is heart wrenching to see the effects that seemly innocent question has. I would never wish to cause that pain to anyone. If they are pregnant and happy to tell people they will. If they are a stranger just say hello and don't stare. You never know what the ladies situation is.

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