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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

fae the cheating thread.

Can you ever retrust a cheater?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what they say ....

Once a cheat, always a cheat.

It they have the capacity to do it once, then I don't think they would think twice about doing it again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You know what they say ....

Once a cheat, always a cheat.

It they have the capacity to do it once, then I don't think they would think twice about doing it again. "

A leopard doesn't change its spots!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fae the cheating thread.

Can you ever retrust a cheater?

"

Can I ask, trust them with what? In a relationship you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who knows? But if you're having a relationship you need to trust. No point otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes finding out a partner has cheated gives the couple the chance to really look at their relationship and address any issues and could make them approach things differently maybe making them stronger as a result.

Im guessing its a case of forgive but not forget though, things will always have changed that wee bit on the trust side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah cheers m1cks! Today's cheaters thread!

I'll give it until about reply 20 until the thread reverts to type!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fae the cheating thread.

Can you ever retrust a cheater?

"

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations."

Not related to Fab but some will cheat even with the perfect partner. It's just in their DNA so I disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I don't know I generally don't give someone a second chance,once that trust has been broken it's dead for me.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

Not related to Fab but some will cheat even with the perfect partner. It's just in their DNA so I disagree. "

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

Not related to Fab but some will cheat even with the perfect partner. It's just in their DNA so I disagree. "

I agree with you. I have a friend who cheats on his wife for no other reason than he can!

She does everything for him, stood by him and supported him when he was in trouble yet still he cheats. She has no idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me personally, no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another."

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations."

Yeah they are sometimes.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

Not related to Fab but some will cheat even with the perfect partner. It's just in their DNA so I disagree. "

Exactly, it's in the heart.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

Yeah they are sometimes. "

And sometimes of course people totally deserve to get cheated on too! Quelle domage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me no I could never trust a cheater again. Once the trust is gone then that's it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did. I don't think he cheated on me again, but only because he realised he had no more chances, not because he didn't want to keep seeing the woman. The relationship was over by then though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

Yeah they are sometimes.

And sometimes of course people totally deserve to get cheated on too! Quelle domage!"

That was my husband's reasoning for cheating on me. It was revenge.

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

In my eyes no, once cheated on i can never fully trust them again. It takes a long time to build trust but only a moment to break it

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I wouldnt personally,it would be something I couldnt forgive

Miss

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Relationships can be rebuilt. However I've seen a man who cheated on his wife once have his nose rubbed in it for years afterwards, probably still going on now. It takes two to rebuild.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe the cheater has to learn to trust the partner again too.

Something has happened to make that person cheat, the other person is never 100% innocent in these situations.

Not related to Fab but some will cheat even with the perfect partner. It's just in their DNA so I disagree. "

See even saying "the perfect partner " says to me that they're not blameless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't, but then again how can anyone 100% trust anyone in life? You can't.

It's like people saying they've never been cheated on, they can't say that, as there are high chances they wouldn't even know if they had been cheated on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else."

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks."

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down."

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue? "

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?"

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fae the cheating thread.

Can you ever retrust a cheater?

"

I think it's possible to get addicted to the endorphin rush, kick, or whatever. So even with the best relationship, where there is permissive non monogomy- ie. swinging, some people (notice that word- people) will still want to do it without permission, because the forbidden carries more allure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage."

I can see where you're coming from now. I just wouldn't want to be the one being cheated on, I'd rather not be with him if we couldn't resolve the problem but thanks for explaining your way of thinking

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage."

This is a new one.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

I can see where you're coming from now. I just wouldn't want to be the one being cheated on, I'd rather not be with him if we couldn't resolve the problem but thanks for explaining your way of thinking "

Does this therefore mean that you wouldn't meet people who cheat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

This is a new one."

If you sit and think about it, you will hopefully understand it. A happy wife and Mum means a happy home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

I can see where you're coming from now. I just wouldn't want to be the one being cheated on, I'd rather not be with him if we couldn't resolve the problem but thanks for explaining your way of thinking "

But if love is still in the marriage, then surely that's worth staying for?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see .."

There's a huge difference between cheating and swinging though isn't there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see ..

There's a huge difference between cheating and swinging though isn't there."

Yes, indeed. But in very simplistic terms (and I accept that the following statement is very simplistic indeed and doesn't address the wider issues such as trust, honesty etc) isn't someone in a swinging couple just "lucky" (in inverted commas) that their partner shares their desire for casual sex with others, whereas a 'cheater' (whether male or female) might not. Isn't the base desire for meaningless, strictly NSA casual sex with others the same?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

For a guy cheat, No return imo. Bit different for women as some of them have hormone issues, pnd etc. I know of one couple where she cheated once six weeks after having their first kid. Pnd, "feeling" unloved etc. She told him immediately and they are still together 20 years later.

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see ..

There's a huge difference between cheating and swinging though isn't there.

Yes, indeed. But in very simplistic terms (and I accept that the following statement is very simplistic indeed and doesn't address the wider issues such as trust, honesty etc) isn't someone in a swinging couple just "lucky" (in inverted commas) that their partner shares their desire for casual sex with others, whereas a 'cheater' (whether male or female) might not. Isn't the base desire for meaningless, strictly NSA casual sex with others the same? "

Yes, totally the same thing. Some couples on here are swinging together and cheating behind their partners back. That makes me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some could

I wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

"

Only if you truly believe that one person can completely satisfy another forever?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

This is a new one.

If you sit and think about it, you will hopefully understand it. A happy wife and Mum means a happy home."

Temporarily happy while she is getting what she wants, but when it all goes wrong then what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever the relationship is from friendship through to marriage. Once the trust is gone it'll break down

I don't think it can ever be the same again once that trust is broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

This is a new one.

If you sit and think about it, you will hopefully understand it. A happy wife and Mum means a happy home.

Temporarily happy while she is getting what she wants, but when it all goes wrong then what?"

Well hopefully it won't. People have cheated for years without any negative repurcussions. One of my friends is living proof of that. It's all about discretion.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

This is a new one.

If you sit and think about it, you will hopefully understand it. A happy wife and Mum means a happy home.

Temporarily happy while she is getting what she wants, but when it all goes wrong then what?

Well hopefully it won't. People have cheated for years without any negative repurcussions. One of my friends is living proof of that. It's all about discretion."

What works for one isn't necessarily what may for another

It's a valid for point though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you trust someone who has broken your trust once?

Why would you want to? Kick them to the kerb and find someone who talks about issues within a relationship rather than someone who goes and seeks solutions in the arms of another.

This

I do think there's often issues in the relationship resulting in one feeling the need to cheat but surely that person should talk and try to resolve things first so preventing the need to cheat. Unless of course, they're cheating just for the thrill of it. Anyway in answer to the question. . No I wouldn't trust someone who'd cheated. The relationship would be over the minute he mentally or physically got involved with someone else.

Talking doesn't always resolve the issues, no matter how much a person talks.

Completely agree but surely if the issues aren't resolved then the relationship is over even if it continues in the physical sense of being together. I would've thought that once one person feels the need to cheat for whatever reason then the relationship has broken down.

No, not at all. Why would you break up with someone you love just because of one issue?

But if the issue is unresolvable to the point of one person feeling the need to cheat, is that not a huge issue that will have alot of negative impact on the relationship?

Not at all. It doesn't need to have any negative impact. If cheating makes that person happier and fulfilled, then that it turn reflects on home life, making home a happier place. If they carry on without cheating, feeling rejected and unwanted, that would make them miserable and in turn make others miserable in the family. Cheating can in fact, save a marriage.

This is a new one.

If you sit and think about it, you will hopefully understand it. A happy wife and Mum means a happy home.

Temporarily happy while she is getting what she wants, but when it all goes wrong then what?

Well hopefully it won't. People have cheated for years without any negative repurcussions. One of my friends is living proof of that. It's all about discretion.

What works for one isn't necessarily what may for another

It's a valid for point though

"

That is true, everyone's individual circumstances are different. No one can predict the future so as long as people are happy now, that's what people should focus on

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see .."

For lots of people it isn't having sex with someone else that's the problem it's having sex with someone else behind their back...the deceit is what's hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see ..

For lots of people it isn't having sex with someone else that's the problem it's having sex with someone else behind their back...the deceit is what's hurtful.

"

Very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes- there is often something that made them cheat in the first place. I have cheated but my marriage was messed up and in all honestly I did it to make him take note and show he still wanted me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fae the cheating thread.

Can you ever retrust a cheater?

"
yes but it takes time. Seen many couples come back from this.. both here and when i worked with relate. It did take work and not everyone can but yes.. I believe you can

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ah cheers m1cks! Today's cheaters thread!

I'll give it until about reply 20 until the thread reverts to type!"

Your welcome DB, I agree, is swinging not just a form of cheating, with consent? I know folk who have tried swinging, couldn't handle seeing their partner play with others and subsequently split up I've also noticed women tend to cheat more than guys, why is that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally trust that we will both do whatever we want sexually so between us sexual 'cheating' isn't a thing.

I trust him to always communicate with me and respect the few boundaries we do have in place. I trust that he will watch out for me and have my back. I trust that he loves me and has a lot of respect for me.

I'm he has all the same trusts in me.

It all depends on what youd class as cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So everybody who gets married again, perhaps to the person they cheated with is doomed? Plenty of examples to the contrary.

Does this mean if you stole as a child that now you're always a thief? And so on and so on.

People do change. Usually if the want and try to.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


" So everybody who gets married again, perhaps to the person they cheated with is doomed? Plenty of examples to the contrary.

Does this mean if you stole as a child that now you're always a thief? And so on and so on.

People do change. Usually if the want and try to. "

I have to agree with this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ah cheers m1cks! Today's cheaters thread!

I'll give it until about reply 20 until the thread reverts to type!

Your welcome DB, I agree, is swinging not just a form of cheating, with consent? I know folk who have tried swinging, couldn't handle seeing their partner play with others and subsequently split up I've also noticed women tend to cheat more than guys, why is that?"

On here or in your real life?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Why do Swinging Couples swing?

I mean if they were happy with each other sexually they wouldn't need to have sex with other people would they?

Why don't they divorce instead of swing?

Ah, but it enhances their sex lives and makes their relationship stronger? It's strictly no strings attached and there's no emotional attachment with the people they swing with? At the end of the day they still absolutely love their partner to bits despite desiring sex with others?

Ah, I see ..

For lots of people it isn't having sex with someone else that's the problem it's having sex with someone else behind their back...the deceit is what's hurtful.

"

I agree with this. I tried to tell myself it was just sex when my ex husband cheated and it was (hopefully),but my heart told me it was a lot more than that,it was the sneaking around behind our back's when he should have been concentrating on our new family. To a degree he switched off from us and put us to one side.

I just thought it was his work at the time as he was having problems there,anyway you live and learn don't you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ah cheers m1cks! Today's cheaters thread!

I'll give it until about reply 20 until the thread reverts to type!

Your welcome DB, I agree, is swinging not just a form of cheating, with consent? I know folk who have tried swinging, couldn't handle seeing their partner play with others and subsequently split up I've also noticed women tend to cheat more than guys, why is that?

On here or in your real life?"

In general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" So everybody who gets married again, perhaps to the person they cheated with is doomed? Plenty of examples to the contrary.

Does this mean if you stole as a child that now you're always a thief? And so on and so on.

People do change. Usually if the want and try to.

I have to agree with this.

"

I think people can change. If one relationship isn't right and leads to cheating then it doesn't mean another relationship with someone different will have the same issues but I think if that person is cheating because that's who he/she is and what they enjoy then it's a whole different thing.

I also don't believe swinging is cheating. Doing anything with the other persons knowledge and consent is entirely different to fucking someone else behind their back.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


" So everybody who gets married again, perhaps to the person they cheated with is doomed? Plenty of examples to the contrary.

Does this mean if you stole as a child that now you're always a thief? And so on and so on.

People do change. Usually if the want and try to.

I have to agree with this.

I think people can change. If one relationship isn't right and leads to cheating then it doesn't mean another relationship with someone different will have the same issues but I think if that person is cheating because that's who he/she is and what they enjoy then it's a whole different thing.

I also don't believe swinging is cheating. Doing anything with the other persons knowledge and consent is entirely different to fucking someone else behind their back. "

Cheating is a circumstantial thing isn't it?

If you were happy and getting the attention you desired/craved/deserved you wouldn't need to find that in the arms of another surely?

If you don't feel wanted by someone surely it is natural to seek that elsewhere.

I've been cheated on in the past and I can see why it happened.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think situations change, people do not. Once bitten twice shy an all that.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I think situations change, people do not. Once bitten twice shy an all that. "

No people can change

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I think situations change, people do not. Once bitten twice shy an all that. "

Cheating isn't genetic, it is a behaviour

Behaviour can change

Situations can change

Just because someone cheats now it doesn't mean they will forever

If they find someone who can give them what they need/desire on all levels why would they need more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would going out for a meal or drink with a work colleague behind your partners back be classed as cheating?

Would it make a difference if it was with a person of the same sex or only if it was with someone of the opposite sex?

Or is it only classed as cheating if sex is involved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" So everybody who gets married again, perhaps to the person they cheated with is doomed? Plenty of examples to the contrary.

Does this mean if you stole as a child that now you're always a thief? And so on and so on.

People do change. Usually if the want and try to.

I have to agree with this.

I think people can change. If one relationship isn't right and leads to cheating then it doesn't mean another relationship with someone different will have the same issues but I think if that person is cheating because that's who he/she is and what they enjoy then it's a whole different thing.

I also don't believe swinging is cheating. Doing anything with the other persons knowledge and consent is entirely different to fucking someone else behind their back.

Cheating is a circumstantial thing isn't it?

If you were happy and getting the attention you desired/craved/deserved you wouldn't need to find that in the arms of another surely?

If you don't feel wanted by someone surely it is natural to seek that elsewhere.

I've been cheated on in the past and I can see why it happened."

Yes I do totally agree but I knew someone who had several different relationships and cheated on each one, it was as though he couldn't help himself. He was really good looking and woman would be all over him when he went out and I don't think he could say no despite saying he was totally happy with his wife/gf at the time? Maybe he had some deep rooted issues or maybe his relationships were never quite right for him but he was a serial cheater which makes me think some men/woman are just that way inclined and can't help themselves?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Would going out for a meal or drink with a work colleague behind your partners back be classed as cheating?

Would it make a difference if it was with a person of the same sex or only if it was with someone of the opposite sex?

Or is it only classed as cheating if sex is involved?"

Such a minefield

Do what makes you smile I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you just keep cheating on partners until you find one you don't feel the need to cheat on anymore??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think situations change, people do not. Once bitten twice shy an all that.

Cheating isn't genetic, it is a behaviour

Behaviour can change

Situations can change

Just because someone cheats now it doesn't mean they will forever

If they find someone who can give them what they need/desire on all levels why would they need more? "

Because they're inherently greedy. A lot of men cheat because they're not getting enough sex at home. A lot of men cheat because they can and they want to. They like the thrill of the chase, the passion and the excitement. The illicit and sometimes sordid encounters with women who want sex and want them.

For someone to change they really want to have to. And usually once they've gotten a whiff of easy to come by sex why would they want to change?

Very few men cheat because they are misunderstood. They cheat because other committments, kids for example, take higher priority with their missus than their cock.

How many men actually leave their wife? Not many, most are kicked out. Given the opportunity they'd try and have their cake and eat it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think situations change, people do not. Once bitten twice shy an all that.

Cheating isn't genetic, it is a behaviour

Behaviour can change

Situations can change

Just because someone cheats now it doesn't mean they will forever

If they find someone who can give them what they need/desire on all levels why would they need more?

Because they're inherently greedy. A lot of men cheat because they're not getting enough sex at home. A lot of men cheat because they can and they want to. They like the thrill of the chase, the passion and the excitement. The illicit and sometimes sordid encounters with women who want sex and want them.

For someone to change they really want to have to. And usually once they've gotten a whiff of easy to come by sex why would they want to change?

Very few men cheat because they are misunderstood. They cheat because other committments, kids for example, take higher priority with their missus than their cock.

How many men actually leave their wife? Not many, most are kicked out. Given the opportunity they'd try and have their cake and eat it."

The same can be said for chicks too, cheating is a unisex issue!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think situations change, people do not. Once bitten twice shy an all that.

Cheating isn't genetic, it is a behaviour

Behaviour can change

Situations can change

Just because someone cheats now it doesn't mean they will forever

If they find someone who can give them what they need/desire on all levels why would they need more?

Because they're inherently greedy. A lot of men cheat because they're not getting enough sex at home. A lot of men cheat because they can and they want to. They like the thrill of the chase, the passion and the excitement. The illicit and sometimes sordid encounters with women who want sex and want them.

For someone to change they really want to have to. And usually once they've gotten a whiff of easy to come by sex why would they want to change?

Very few men cheat because they are misunderstood. They cheat because other committments, kids for example, take higher priority with their missus than their cock.

How many men actually leave their wife? Not many, most are kicked out. Given the opportunity they'd try and have their cake and eat it.

The same can be said for chicks too, cheating is a unisex issue! "

I know.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"So you just keep cheating on partners until you find one you don't feel the need to cheat on anymore?? "

That's grim.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who is this 'they' we hear so much about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you do wrong and are truly sorry yes people can never repeat (lesson learnt and all that) - those who apologise but carry on - well their apology counts for nothing and doubt they will ever change

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I cheated on my ex husband because I didn't love him. I don't think that means I'll do it in a future relationship if its the right relationship. However I do worry that perhaps the saying of once a cheat always a cheat might be true.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If someone can cheat with you, they can cheat on you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone can cheat with you, they can cheat on you!"

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