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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond

I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

snigger because I can still see your superman underwear lying around... but then check you over and pos call ambulance lol. after some more sniggering...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???"

Bring you round with rough buggery. I'd tie you and gag you first and video myself doing that ass.

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"snigger because I can still see your superman underwear lying around... but then check you over and pos call ambulance lol. after some more sniggering... "

Cruel but funny

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???

Bring you round with rough buggery. I'd tie you and gag you first and video myself doing that ass."

No lube then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it "

Not until I finish bumming him

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it "

See this is gonna be a comical thread lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???

Bring you round with rough buggery. I'd tie you and gag you first and video myself doing that ass.

No lube then? "

Lube ? Maybe

Rubber? Nah

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it

Not until I finish bumming him "

Have you ever watched Pulp Fiction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah stick an igel down your airway, a tourniquet on your todger and an OPA up your rear...you'll wake up quick I promise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it

Not until I finish bumming him

Have you ever watched Pulp Fiction? "

Yeh and scum and American history x

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Nah stick an igel down your airway, a tourniquet on your todger and an OPA up your rear...you'll wake up quick I promise "

Scared now

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Easy. Drag you naked onto the stairwell. Lock your apartment door, then leg it

Not until I finish bumming him

Have you ever watched Pulp Fiction? "

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment? "

It's an open invite to be cruel

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment? "

Yes you do actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id give you a bit of a slap... see what happens

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Id give you a bit of a slap... see what happens"

More like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!? "

Well I am leaving with his watches, rings, wallet and TV.

After bumming him

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!? "

Think getting burgled is best option seeing some of these answers lol

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!?

Well I am leaving with his watches, rings, wallet and TV.

After bumming him "

My ass is feeling abused right now

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?

Yes you do actually "

My alarm call usually brings you round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id wait til you come round then educate you on the importance of looking your doors. Are you looking to be burgled?!?

Well I am leaving with his watches, rings, wallet and TV.

After bumming him

My ass is feeling abused right now "

It's not like I rang around my mates to see who's free is it? I'm not harsh or anything

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?

Yes you do actually

My alarm call usually brings you round "

Not giving anything away I see

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath

Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"

Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go

Dax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What size TV have you got?

We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd check your vitals out, pop you in the recovery position and raid your biscuit barrel while the kettle boils

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath

Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"

Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go

Dax "

Jesus, 1 I think lol

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"What size TV have you got?

We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x"

55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"I'd check your vitals out, pop you in the recovery position and raid your biscuit barrel while the kettle boils "

Hobnobs ok?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd check your vitals out, pop you in the recovery position and raid your biscuit barrel while the kettle boils

Hobnobs ok?"

Perfect recovery biscuits. Not for you mind. After all, you're unconscious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What size TV have you got?

We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x

55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox"

Yeah I'm taxing that, after I ruin you for all other men

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"What size TV have you got?

We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x

55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox

Yeah I'm taxing that, after I ruin you for all other men "

Consider me ruined

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What size TV have you got?

We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x

55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox

Yeah I'm taxing that, after I ruin you for all other men

Consider me ruined "

You do realise if you come to while I'm there your sucking my dick clean after don't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???"

Something similar happened to my neighbour before I moved to Wales, only she tripped over a toy at the top of the stairs and fell whilst holding her baby ...

I dashed round, and looked through the letterbox to see her in a heap on the floor clutching baby..

Had to get a neighbour to shoulder her front door.. I went in and took baby who was screaming and called an ambulance .. she broke a leg and some fingers and a couple of ribs..

Baby was fine, just in shock

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?

Yes you do actually

My alarm call usually brings you round

Not giving anything away I see "

You mean by not saying about how good my mouth feels around your cock

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"I've slipped coming out of the shower, you've heard a thud from my apartment above, you come to check, doors unlocked, I'm wet, naked and out cold, do you try and bring me round, run or...???

Something similar happened to my neighbour before I moved to Wales, only she tripped over a toy at the top of the stairs and fell whilst holding her baby ...

I dashed round, and looked through the letterbox to see her in a heap on the floor clutching baby..

Had to get a neighbour to shoulder her front door.. I went in and took baby who was screaming and called an ambulance .. she broke a leg and some fingers and a couple of ribs..

Baby was fine, just in shock "

Spoiler, but sad and heroic, well done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What size TV have you got?

We need the important details before we decide what to do with you. x

55" curved UltraHD with all the bollox"

Hmmmmmmm, decisions, decisions.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

This seriously worries me lol, back problems and living alone can make you feel venerable at times

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"This seriously worries me lol, back problems and living alone can make you feel venerable at times "

Oh yes I'm vulnerable

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?

Yes you do actually

My alarm call usually brings you round

Not giving anything away I see

You mean by not saying about how good my mouth feels around your cock "

That's more like a wake up call

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath

Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"

Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go

Dax

Jesus, 1 I think lol"

Unfortunately for me it would be just another day at work walking in and seeing some messed up injuries hence the slightly twisted sense of humour.....

Why are you talking? It puts the lotion in the basket, it doesnt talk

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Hmmmmm do I really need to comment?

Yes you do actually

My alarm call usually brings you round

Not giving anything away I see

You mean by not saying about how good my mouth feels around your cock

That's more like a wake up call "

Woke you up

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Option 1) improvised defib....throw a toaster into the bath

Option 2) drag to basement walk around singing badly whilst screaming "it puts the lotion in the fucking basket"

Option 3) enter grand theft auto game mode shout "wasted" and walk out cleaning finger prints as i go

Dax

Jesus, 1 I think lol

Unfortunately for me it would be just another day at work walking in and seeing some messed up injuries hence the slightly twisted sense of humour.....

Why are you talking? It puts the lotion in the basket, it doesnt talk "

Argggggg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This seriously worries me lol, back problems and living alone can make you feel venerable at times "

Do you have a strategy in place?

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By *inkerbell67Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

Check to see if you were breathing then into the recovery position..and take naked pics of you and put them on internet lol

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By *norkster OP   Man
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond


"Check to see if you were breathing then into the recovery position..and take naked pics of you and put them on internet lol "

Hmmmm rings a bell

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