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Millennials and poor relationships

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

So it turns out that each generation from 16-23 is having less sex than the generation before it (according to the BBC) although this depends on the study.

Yet this group is less likley to have a long lasting relationship (a relationship lasting more than 6 months-1year) yet even though with all the ICT to find dates they are likley to have less partners than their parents.

so my question is why is this?

[(of course their will be counter research out there contradicting these claims)]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm no psychologist (far from it) but I'm guessing it stems from the pace of things these days - everything is expected instantly, now, on demand .. it's all about upgrading, moving on, doing new things.. does that also apply to relationships? (I honestly don't know - I'm not a Millennial so my mindset is a lot different to a lot of the young 'uns today!)

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"I'm no psychologist (far from it) but I'm guessing it stems from the pace of things these days - everything is expected instantly, now, on demand .. it's all about upgrading, moving on, doing new things.. does that also apply to relationships? (I honestly don't know - I'm not a Millennial so my mindset is a lot different to a lot of the young 'uns today!)"

there was a Theory which is has not been tested but was shown in Tyga Drehunny's Documnetary on online dating and being a teenager in the 21st centuary, that instant messaging could mean that where in the past you had to wait for messages and the relationship developes as you communicate with your partner, now the process is quicker the relationship goes through its rough patches quicker, therfore the relathionships end quicker. althoguh this is speculation and highly dubiouse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other side is that they won't be stuck in unhappy relationships because it's expected that you stay with one person forever.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think relationships don't last as long because fewer people are prepared to put up with poor behaviour from their partner.

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Google "problem with millenials" and watch the video....its quite interesting

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I think relationships don't last as long because fewer people are prepared to put up with poor behaviour from their partner. "

I think that may well be it also. On the other hand, it could be due to the sheer availability on their fingertips. It's now far easier to meet another who fits your criteria if the previous partner doesn't quite match up.

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Google "problem with millenials" and watch the video....its quite interesting "

On it now.

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Also whats interesting to note why are we or they living in a world where sex is more widly talked about. It's not really a Taboo any more, easier avalability for porn yet they are getting less sex than the the generation before them?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think relationships don't last as long because fewer people are prepared to put up with poor behaviour from their partner.

I think that may well be it also. On the other hand, it could be due to the sheer availability on their fingertips. It's now far easier to meet another who fits your criteria if the previous partner doesn't quite match up. "

Based on the milennials I know they still want long term relationships but few expect them to be life long. They will attempt to make a relationship work but because it's increasingly acceptable for parents to live separately and children to have half siblings, step siblings etc don't feel as much pressure to tolerate things that mine and my parent's generation did. Even if no children are involved the pressure from society to remain loyal to a partner and try and work things out or as I see it put up with bad behaviour isn't as prevalent as it once was. In my opinion this has good and bad points.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I was out with my friends last night, we all have 15/16 year old so the younger end of the scale. None of them are interested in dating atm (phew!!),we all agreed it's because of the pressure of school. Exams looming etc. But also because they don't feel the need to explore anymore because everything they want to know is available on the Internet

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Also whats interesting to note why are we or they living in a world where sex is more widly talked about. It's not really a Taboo any more, easier avalability for porn yet they are getting less sex than the the generation before them? "

Or are they prepared to answer surveys about how much sex they're getting honestly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read theories that younger generations having been told for years not to speak to strangers on the net are more hesitant to engage with online dating, not sure how true that is

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Also whats interesting to note why are we or they living in a world where sex is more widly talked about. It's not really a Taboo any more, easier avalability for porn yet they are getting less sex than the the generation before them?

Or are they prepared to answer surveys about how much sex they're getting honestly?"

fair point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think relationships don't last as long because fewer people are prepared to put up with poor behaviour from their partner.

I think that may well be it also. On the other hand, it could be due to the sheer availability on their fingertips. It's now far easier to meet another who fits your criteria if the previous partner doesn't quite match up.

Based on the milennials I know they still want long term relationships but few expect them to be life long. They will attempt to make a relationship work but because it's increasingly acceptable for parents to live separately and children to have half siblings, step siblings etc don't feel as much pressure to tolerate things that mine and my parent's generation did. Even if no children are involved the pressure from society to remain loyal to a partner and try and work things out or as I see it put up with bad behaviour isn't as prevalent as it once was. In my opinion this has good and bad points."

Or is it that having been overindulged by their parents, they are too self-centered to compromise?

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Google "problem with millenials" and watch the video....its quite interesting "

Watched the video and for the most part it's evidence based, many of the things I can relate to Leaving Uni thinking and being told I should get good jobs so long as I work hard, oh am working to gain expereince of experinece to earn the minimum wage.

Not quite sure about the pairent thing, I thnk enviroment has greater impact.

But he did not expliane why Milenials are more cynacal than previuse generations.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've read theories that younger generations having been told for years not to speak to strangers on the net are more hesitant to engage with online dating, not sure how true that is"

Interesting.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think relationships don't last as long because fewer people are prepared to put up with poor behaviour from their partner.

I think that may well be it also. On the other hand, it could be due to the sheer availability on their fingertips. It's now far easier to meet another who fits your criteria if the previous partner doesn't quite match up.

Based on the milennials I know they still want long term relationships but few expect them to be life long. They will attempt to make a relationship work but because it's increasingly acceptable for parents to live separately and children to have half siblings, step siblings etc don't feel as much pressure to tolerate things that mine and my parent's generation did. Even if no children are involved the pressure from society to remain loyal to a partner and try and work things out or as I see it put up with bad behaviour isn't as prevalent as it once was. In my opinion this has good and bad points.

Or is it that having been overindulged by their parents, they are too self-centered to compromise?"

Possibly but that isn't my experience. Probably its a combination of all the points raised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First I would like to say interesting read so far and surprisingly I'm shocked that there wasn't that much negativity towards my generation

I would agree with most of th above comments but there so many factors that contribute and with myself being a black sheep I don't believe I should be commenting

But the likes of "swipe right" on applications such as tinder only fuels this. For example a girl would of normally rejected a guy once or twice a day face to face now she's rejecting 50 people a day by swiping right and with such social media platforms being available experience and knowledge are being gained far more quickly

This subject is so good that It can ignite conversation on other aspects of my generation

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More porn, easier to reject a male or female based off a bad photo or one flaw and the fact that it's easy to get taken to the cleaners by a woman or your name dragged through the dirt. The only women I really have time for now are fellow swingers or mates I've had for a long time, plus the social situations in swinging are more laid back and conversation flows and isn't forced IMO, not so in general public, people like to keep to themselves, are reserved and don't actually know how to react to someone talking to them.

It's fucking weird.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

no need to partner up really, i think not.

most people only tend to do that to have kids. it's why older women aren't as valuable in the dating 'market' too.

my son is 20 and just come out of a 5 year relationship last year, had a little break and is seeing someone else now. not even for kids, he just likes being in a relationship, although i know his now gf wants kids asap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ICT has killed the art of face to face communication. A bit like this place it has it's advantages but the younger generations have always done it that way so when it actually comes to having a real person in front of them, many can't cope.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"ICT has killed the art of face to face communication. A bit like this place it has it's advantages but the younger generations have always done it that way so when it actually comes to having a real person in front of them, many can't cope."

what do you base that on? These people work in shops, offices, go to school, college, university. The majority can cope very well with face to face communication.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ICT has killed the art of face to face communication. A bit like this place it has it's advantages but the younger generations have always done it that way so when it actually comes to having a real person in front of them, many can't cope.

what do you base that on? These people work in shops, offices, go to school, college, university. The majority can cope very well with face to face communication."

Many are used to relying on their mobile devices to communicate and find it hard to do otherwise. Most will grow out of it but it seems to take longer than to be just teenager awkwardness. Some adults are the same..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Google "problem with millenials" and watch the video....its quite interesting

Watched the video and for the most part it's evidence based, many of the things I can relate to Leaving Uni thinking and being told I should get good jobs so long as I work hard, oh am working to gain expereince of experinece to earn the minimum wage.

Not quite sure about the pairent thing, I thnk enviroment has greater impact.

But he did not expliane why Milenials are more cynacal than previuse generations. "

I don't millennial are near cynical enough. They seem to all be the exact same... Same fashion (globally), same shit pop music and same internet group think opinions.

They are lemmings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will be a backlash I hope. Quitting the internet will be the next step in mindfullness and the Nokia 3210 will have a 2018 resurgence

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By *eachPreacherMan
over a year ago

Kent/London

As a millennial, I can tell you that I've never had a proper relationship with anyone, as I have always been rather cynical of relationships in general and have just lost interest in even trying.

From what I've seen though, most of my generation just seem to get together either to cope with loneliness, for financial stability, or just for sex, and when it gets too difficult they just give up as there was never much of a spark between them.

I guess technology and media may have something to do with it, as it does make it easier to be selective and meet people with little effort, but it also makes it much easier to cheat or lose interest in who you already have.

I'd also like to point out that, obviously, most of us millennials are rather inexperienced and unprepared for most aspects of adult life (as with most generations), and should rarely be trusted to make good decisions about anything at our age, myself included

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'd also like to point out that, obviously, most of us millennials are rather inexperienced and unprepared for most aspects of adult life (as with most generations), and should rarely be trusted to make good decisions about anything at our age, myself included "

That's tremendous foresight to realise that.

Most just have the arrogance of youth...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"As a millennial, I can tell you that I've never had a proper relationship with anyone, as I have always been rather cynical of relationships in general and have just lost interest in even trying.

From what I've seen though, most of my generation just seem to get together either to cope with loneliness, for financial stability, or just for sex, and when it gets too difficult they just give up as there was never much of a spark between them.

I guess technology and media may have something to do with it, as it does make it easier to be selective and meet people with little effort, but it also makes it much easier to cheat or lose interest in who you already have.

I'd also like to point out that, obviously, most of us millennials are rather inexperienced and unprepared for most aspects of adult life (as with most generations), and should rarely be trusted to make good decisions about anything at our age, myself included "

interesting to hear from an actual millennial. Our kids are 4 and 6 years older than you and their experience and that of their friends is different to yours, doesn't mean I doubt what you're saying though.

Your last paragraph made me laugh .

Don't do yourself down though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm gonna put forward a very atypical experience as a millennial.

I'm in a strong committed relationship that I expect to last the rest of my life.

I'm aware of how unprepared most of my generation are for adult life, but I was lucky - my parents taught me enough to work it out myself.

I'm happy to work and wait for things, and I'm generally a very patient person.

Just like any generation, the older generations will tar us all with the same brush and call us lazy or entitled or privileged without knowing anything about us.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm gonna put forward a very atypical experience as a millennial.

I'm in a strong committed relationship that I expect to last the rest of my life.

I'm aware of how unprepared most of my generation are for adult life, but I was lucky - my parents taught me enough to work it out myself.

I'm happy to work and wait for things, and I'm generally a very patient person.

Just like any generation, the older generations will tar us all with the same brush and call us lazy or entitled or privileged without knowing anything about us."

Before you tar all of us older generation with the same brush you will see that I haven't done that.

The generations traditionally hold generalised opinions about each other but some of us try to look outside of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/04/17 22:38:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" people like to keep to themselves, are reserved and don't actually know how to react to someone talking to them.

It's fucking weird."

I'm like this though.

^ this

I had loads of "dates" on Tinder with women where if those SAME women had they come up to me conventionally in a bar I'd have froze and they'd have thought I was arrogant or obnoxious.

It's not arrogance, I just don't know what to fucking say to you in fact, I don't even know how to react let alone process what you're saying to me.

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By *eachPreacherMan
over a year ago

Kent/London


" people like to keep to themselves, are reserved and don't actually know how to react to someone talking to them.

It's fucking weird.

I'm like this though.

^ this

I had loads of "dates" on Tinder with women where if those SAME women had they come up to me conventionally in a bar I'd have froze and they'd have thought I was arrogant or obnoxious.

It's not arrogance, I just don't know what to fucking say to you in fact, I don't even know how to react let alone process what you're saying to me."

I totally agree with you, I'm much the same. I've turned down every woman to ever approach me at a bar or club because I instantly feel very self concious and awkward. Also I'm absolutely awful at small talk, so conversations with me very quickly devolve into silence

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


" people like to keep to themselves, are reserved and don't actually know how to react to someone talking to them.

It's fucking weird.

I'm like this though.

^ this

I had loads of "dates" on Tinder with women where if those SAME women had they come up to me conventionally in a bar I'd have froze and they'd have thought I was arrogant or obnoxious.

It's not arrogance, I just don't know what to fucking say to you in fact, I don't even know how to react let alone process what you're saying to me.

I totally agree with you, I'm much the same. I've turned down every woman to ever approach me at a bar or club because I instantly feel very self concious and awkward. Also I'm absolutely awful at small talk, so conversations with me very quickly devolve into silence "

For me a simmilar experience when I go out to vanila clubs and a girl comes over for a dance and I like her I instantly assume that she there for just that, a dance, any other attempt is just that ... a breck of trust, attemptd mysogny. Uness she makes the move or let me know somehow. (which may add rairly ever happens, much rairer than me going out)

Ofcourse everyones expereince ofthis is different depending on demographics.

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By *oxes OP   Man
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

An interesting thing we learnt on a course today about teens, is that the current genration of teens apparently dont like being looked into the eyes when you listerning to them because they see it as being threataning.

on different studdies showed a greater interaction with peers when they looked at the teens mouth, not eyes.

The teens felt less thretened. of course demographics come in to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Google "problem with millenials" and watch the video....its quite interesting

Watched the video and for the most part it's evidence based, many of the things I can relate to Leaving Uni thinking and being told I should get good jobs so long as I work hard, oh am working to gain expereince of experinece to earn the minimum wage.

Not quite sure about the pairent thing, I thnk enviroment has greater impact.

But he did not expliane why Milenials are more cynacal than previuse generations.

I don't millennial are near cynical enough. They seem to all be the exact same... Same fashion (globally), same shit pop music and same internet group think opinions.

They are lemmings. "

I'd massively disagree, i think you're generalising far too much. There's much less focus on cliques and trends these days - i.e. shaving your hair and dressing like a punk is pretty conformist when you think about it but it was alt culture back then.

Plus because of the internet people have more room for information through which to inform their opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm gonna put forward a very atypical experience as a millennial.

I'm in a strong committed relationship that I expect to last the rest of my life.

I'm aware of how unprepared most of my generation are for adult life, but I was lucky - my parents taught me enough to work it out myself.

I'm happy to work and wait for things, and I'm generally a very patient person.

Just like any generation, the older generations will tar us all with the same brush and call us lazy or entitled or privileged without knowing anything about us."

We do know you. We used to be you, and we raised you...

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I think I saw a trend emerging in my generation, that has become even more prevalent amongst the youn, and that is that TV has sold them a vision of how life and releationships are supposed to look, which is not based in reality, and which they seem to be searching for.

I also think that the rise in anxiety amongst the young, fuelled by the focus on extrinisic goals, away from the intrinsic goals of former generations makes for poor interpesonal relationsips.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I'm gonna put forward a very atypical experience as a millennial.

I'm in a strong committed relationship that I expect to last the rest of my life.

I'm aware of how unprepared most of my generation are for adult life, but I was lucky - my parents taught me enough to work it out myself.

I'm happy to work and wait for things, and I'm generally a very patient person.

Just like any generation, the older generations will tar us all with the same brush and call us lazy or entitled or privileged without knowing anything about us.

We do know you. We used to be you, and we raised you..."

You didn't "used to be them" and nor did I, times have changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I saw a trend emerging in my generation, that has become even more prevalent amongst the youn, and that is that TV has sold them a vision of how life and releationships are supposed to look, which is not based in reality, and which they seem to be searching for.

I also think that the rise in anxiety amongst the young, fuelled by the focus on extrinisic goals, away from the intrinsic goals of former generations makes for poor interpesonal relationsips."

spot on.

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