FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

social meets

Jump to newest
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I am all for them whether just a friendly coffee with someone you've struck up a rapper with or someone who has caught your eye and you want some neutral territory to see if there is a click outside of a white box.

However I've not long since had a chat with another fab member who said they feel uncomfortable with socials as it feels too much like dating and that's not why they joined fab.

This has kinda bugged my happy. I don't think you can form an accurate impression until you've met in person and that doesn't mean saying hi and dropping your knickers.

Yes I have met and had sex on the first meet without a social but it hasn't been all that and invariably you don't see the person again .

*this isn't a judgemental post in any way shape or form*

Just intrigued to see how others view socials. I see them now almost as mandatory

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I get both sides.

However, the most sexually charged meets are those where she is blindfolded and doesn't see me til afterwards.

Takes a lot of trust and lots of communication beforehand...but wow.

And about as Fab as it gets.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like a social, and often insist on one before any sexual shenanigans take place..,

There has to be some chemistry on my part and fuck and go meets just aren't my thing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always prefer, and suggest, a social meet first. Must admit tho....either it is deemed not necessary by the lady/couple, or the social becomes much more.... but that's on their terms.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to have a social op.

I have left afterward thinking I could have jumped in them. But always better to leave wanting than regretting.

A social is always a great way to have safe fun. You might not be sexualy attracted, but you can still have a laugh.

Socials are great.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Pretty much any first meet with us will be social with the possibility of it going further if we all get on. You do find the odd person that seems to read that as

"As long as we are laughy & chatty all is good & you'll play". When in reality it doesn't.

S

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Always prefer, and suggest, a social meet first. Must admit tho....either it is deemed not necessary by the lady/couple, or the social becomes much more.... but that's on their terms."

I have known a social to be electric and before long clothes are getting thrown all over. I jist can't see you reaching that stage without verbal communication.

I do like a good clothes throwing bit of play

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I have to have a social op.

I have left afterward thinking I could have jumped in them. But always better to leave wanting than regretting.

A social is always a great way to have safe fun. You might not be sexualy attracted, but you can still have a laugh.

Socials are great. "

I love socials and have made some great friends via meeting for a social . There might be no chemistry there but you can strike up a great friendship which can be better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo.

Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done "

Don't worry we are having coffee before I take you to bed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I say all my meets are socials. Its a get out clause for if i dont fancy em xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo.

Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac "

My thoughts exactly. Loved it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I get both sides.

However, the most sexually charged meets are those where she is blindfolded and doesn't see me til afterwards.

Takes a lot of trust and lots of communication beforehand...but wow.

And about as Fab as it gets. "

Haha I'd do that to a guy but wouldn't trust someone to do it to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

I prefer a social meet to see if they resemble their profile and to see if there is that spark of attraction that makes me want to suggest a further meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I always have a social first ... some people are not what they seem .... its always best to be cautious .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done

Don't worry we are having coffee before I take you to bed "

Make it tea and I drag you up the stairs myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ick1979xxMan
over a year ago

hornyville

I often meet for a social 1st. Not as a date but just for a coffee or a pint. Only so many messages can be exchanged and with so many fakes nowadays it proves everyone is who they say

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo.

Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac "

Haha it could happen! I'll take selfies if it does

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always prefer a social first you can tell when meeting someone face to face if there is any chemistry and the flirting during a social adds to the build up to things going further however everyone is different and some will feel the fuck and go meets are more risky/dangerous or just more mysterious

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I prefer a social first prior to any shenanigans, the flirting over a cuppa has to be done

Don't worry we are having coffee before I take you to bed

Make it tea and I drag you up the stairs myself "

You can have whatever you like in your cuppa

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

They're important to me. You can't always tell if that chemistry translates well in real life. It's not to say there hasn't been the odd occasion where they merge into play but yeah, I prefer them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Would always prefer a social first, although that social turning into something more than a coffee and a chat wouldn't be beyond the realms of possibility if it was agreed by all concerned, and didn't disrupt personal life too much.

Whilst you CAN get a sense of a person from swapping messages and interacting on the forums here, you can't truly know if there's a connection and a chemistry to want to take things further until you're face to face in person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo.

Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac

My thoughts exactly. Loved it "

Providing inadvertent amusement everywhere I go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to have a social first.

No matter how good the online conversation is with someone, it's only when I meet them in person that I know if I want to get naked with them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think this emphasises the importance of good communicators, so that you can better understand people and filter out, where they don't match you. Those who aren't so good at communication are more likely to leave others without a good understanding of their needs, making negotiation and compromise with flexibility more difficult.

We reserve our rights to alter things, including our minds, as we go along - including saying 'no' and stopping anything. Tentatively getting to know others socially is good, evening when your sex needs are driving you up the wall. Switch it up and go full-on lust at the right point. I like both and the guy above who likes the action first, revealing himself later, offers something that is also very appealing - even though I'm not experienced with this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one of those 'social first' weirdos I'm afraid. It's not a date, it's a teasing out process for both sides.

Plus I like tea

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I'm one of those 'social first' weirdos I'm afraid. It's not a date, it's a teasing out process for both sides.

Plus I like tea "

I think it is a great way. I've saw some cracking pics and conversation has flowed on here but died a death in person. You just can't tell

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social first, it's better for both parties. You all know why your there it just adds to the excitement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No social = No meet for me.

It's important for my safety and plus I don't want to end up meeting someone who's given a very false account of themselves.

If I'd of met all the men I've had a social with for a play meet I'd have a lot of regrets !!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

don't think I have ever been to a pure social. having a drink yes- and then decide if you want to take things further. you can kind of get a feel for a person via chatting- and at the end of the day I don't want to be their best buddy but just want some sex. saying that I wouldn't say no to a pure social if I have been chatting to someone for a while but not my main goal...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo.

Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac

Haha it could happen! I'll take selfies if it does "

I doubt it, isn't he dead lol?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I like socials but haven't been to an organised one for ages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Loving the "struck up a rapper" typo.

Now got a vision of you sat in wetherspoons with tupac

Haha it could happen! I'll take selfies if it does

I doubt it, isn't he dead lol? "

Depends if you believe the thories or not. Haha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm one of those 'social first' weirdos I'm afraid. It's not a date, it's a teasing out process for both sides.

Plus I like tea

I think it is a great way. I've saw some cracking pics and conversation has flowed on here but died a death in person. You just can't tell "

I fully agree. I've only had one social on here and it went really well but I've known people in the past I've been super close with on line and that hasn't transferred into our first social interaction

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials always for me now, i tend to find the guys who dont want them are either just after getting their dick wet by anyone, embarassed to be seen in public with a woman who isnt slim or in a relationship and doesnt want to get caught.

No social means they will never meet me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social is mandatory with us, we are more attracted to the person than an image.

Having said that, I think all parties need to find each other attractive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reokinkMan
over a year ago

London

Chemistry is the deal breaker for me so I always preferred socials when I was single.

However my girlfriend gets nervous beforehand and prefers going with the flow in the heat of the moment at clubs and spas.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not interested in a social first anymore as they where only used by the guys as a grope session which made me very uncomfortable and feel like a piece of meat being perved at or they'd try to initiate a quickie in their car which is not my thing so would turn me off meeting again... now it's meet for sex only and we're both on same page about whats on offer, I don't do quickies either it's usually a minimum of 5hours, if we don't click it's acceptable to say it's not happening as obviously we both know we've just meet and that's a risk we both are prepared to take...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon

Definitely coffee and a chat first!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not mandatory for me but sometimes it can put your mind at rest to check on the person.

I actually love the social side of Fab. Not as much as the naughty side but occasionally it's nice to have a coffee and a chat. Not all guys like that...Only the good ones

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social first... if it's good, I call it pre-foreplay

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

l like a social first, having chatted for a while beforehand, to see if we really click. I also make it clear it's about people who enjoy each others company getting together for some mutual fun, no obligations. I also like coffee and cake.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Social first... if it's good, I call it pre-foreplay "

It is extended foreplay

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials all the way with me, sometimes I've had many socials with the same person,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *laskan lovers 1984Couple
over a year ago

West midlands

A social is a must for us

A drink or meal

And sexy chat .If gel we play straight away

Or arrange a meet up a week later xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night "

What if you met thrm and they pissed you off within minutes? Surely you wouldn't still bump uglies?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Sod it I need a social now that has the potential to become a filthy few nights fuck!

Too horny for my own good!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer socials to start with, a play at the end of the night is never ruled out but I wouldn't expect anything other than great company and great conversation, a little flirting and teasing maybe.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

What if you met thrm and they pissed you off within minutes? Surely you wouldn't still bump uglies?"

I think you already knew the answer to that, but no we wouldn't.

If we arrange to meet and for whatever reason they aren't floating the proverbial boat we'll walk away.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night "

Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.

Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not happy to do socials simply because I worry I'll get spotted and I don't want to have to explain anything to anybody if i do (I'm aware it sounds a bit silly)

But that being said I don't drop my knickers as soon as I walk through the door hahaha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.

Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me' "

Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.

We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.

But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.

Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'

Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.

We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.

But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do. "

Aah that is far more succinct! I've had loads of socials and a lot of the time sex is never on the cards. Some people are that shy that jusy having a coffee is more than enough for them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

do more socials than anything on here, love meeting people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.

Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'

Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.

We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.

But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do.

Aah that is far more succinct! I've had loads of socials and a lot of the time sex is never on the cards. Some people are that shy that jusy having a coffee is more than enough for them "

It's pretty much down to the fact we get very little free time together, so if we arrange to meet then we're going for a reason.

Clubs work perfect for us,

Gives the chance for a drink first, if we don't get on the we go our separate ways. And it's got plenty of opportunities for bonking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

Did that once, never again but at least I was honest so told him I was happy to chat and have a drink but.....no sex.....know he was a little pissed off but he was a gent about it.

Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.

Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me' "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely no interest in meeting at a coffee shop etc

Going out for tea and a bun isn't why we meet people from here.

If we arrange to meet, we pretty much want to end up in bed the same night

Fully understand that in most instances sex is the end game but it's the bit before that I need to be sure of before we play the game.

Can't imagine traveling, booking a hotel etc and then meeting and thinking 'hmmmmm not for me'

Think I'll be a bit clearer on this.

We don't meet and jump straight into bed, we'll meet up, go for drinks etc or meet at a club. You're right the end of the night the idea is to end up doing the rudies.

But meeting purely on a social level with no chance of things progressing is a better way of putting what we don't do. "

No in that setting I can totally understand what you mean and why that would work for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird. "

Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I like to meet socially first. You obviously get to confirm any perceived attraction, but getting to know someone better and making a connection works far better for me than going in cold. I am attracted to more than just the appearance. The more I am attracted, the better the sexual potential in most cases. I consider myself reasonably attractive, but definitely not gorgeous and sending face pics can often get a no thanks, which is fine. I am not everyone's cup of tea, like most of us. But at least with a social it gives me a chance to let a woman be attracted to my intellect and humour, not just what she sees in a photo. For me a social means a better chance of chemistry.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

When we organise 3some then a bit of char is usually enough to meet someone. When Em plays on her own she insists on a social meet first. Safety first and all that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird.

Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet?"

Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

For me if I am meeting someone new, from forum or adverts then I will tend to meet for a social with a possibility to play

If the person is from club scene then I normally will say let's meet at the club and catch up their

At the end of the day people have to feel safe, and that includes both myself and others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get how some people can view socials as almost a date, but for me sex is so much better when you know a bit about the person beforehand.

Bur I've had it before where I've met a girl for a social and after an hour or so we went straight back to hers.

Basically I prefer it if there is at least a bit of a social beforehand

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird.

Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet?

Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates"."

I guess ultimately it comes down to your objective and also your subjective opinion of what a 'social' is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird.

Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet?

Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates".

I guess ultimately it comes down to your objective and also your subjective opinion of what a 'social' is "

Seems on here to mean meeting for a coffee/ beer? Possibly even a meal. Am i wrong?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I always have a social first. It's a 'will we, won't we' thing. Once I'd didn't but I'd seen lots of pics and chatted for a while so I knew we'd get on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a social to break the ice. I'm very shy and need a bit of chat to warm me up otherwise i appear to have the morals of a nun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll just say it this way.

I've had good and bad meets, and I've had social meets first and meets straight into the play.

I've NEVER had a bad experience with anyone I've had a social meet with first, but have had bad experiences with people that would have been avoided if a social had happened first.

That's why, although not essential, I much prefer a social meet first..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always do a social as they work for me. Both sides then whether I'm meeting a guy, lady or couple can see if we want to take it further. There's no pressure. It doesn't need to take ages -,it can be a quick 30 min coffee or I've done drinks and dinner. I don't see why it's an issue and it's personal choice. It's my preference though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/17 14:10:09]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll just say it this way.

I've had good and bad meets, and I've had social meets first and meets straight into the play.

I've NEVER had a bad experience with anyone I've had a social meet with first, but have had bad experiences with people that would have been avoided if a social had happened first.

That's why, although not essential, I much prefer a social meet first.."

Pretty accurate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I think having much of a social while my wife was at home would feel weird.

Would that thought process change if it wasn't a social and it was a sexual meet?

Well we swing to have sex with other people. Not "dates".

I guess ultimately it comes down to your objective and also your subjective opinion of what a 'social' is

Seems on here to mean meeting for a coffee/ beer? Possibly even a meal. Am i wrong? "

Can be anything I've done coffee , drinks; lunch, a meal. A walk, shopping trip, you name it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People always say a social isn't a date. I always like to challenge that. What's wrong with a date prior to sex? I'm sure some smart alec will say 'join a dating site then'. My answer to that is that as a couple we can't join a dating site. But yeah we like to go for a drink or have a guy round for dinner at our house as part of the whole experience. For every meet, not just the first meet.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

For me its a social meet 1st.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social meet, neutral safe venue, If sparks fly all well and good, sometimes it's a slow burn.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?"

Depends on if you have selective reading skills

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you will find that it's horses for courses.

I myself like a social and had the straight full on meets....but I'm adaptable.

Some on here will always think it's just a sex site whilst others maybe looking for a little more. Just my opinion

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always social first for me with no play at all. Other people prefer to meet and fuck straight off. That's cool- we're just not compatible.

If they choose to slag me off for my choices it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like to meet socially first. You obviously get to confirm any perceived attraction, but getting to know someone better and making a connection works far better for me than going in cold. I am attracted to more than just the appearance. The more I am attracted, the better the sexual potential in most cases. I consider myself reasonably attractive, but definitely not gorgeous and sending face pics can often get a no thanks, which is fine. I am not everyone's cup of tea, like most of us. But at least with a social it gives me a chance to let a woman be attracted to my intellect and humour, not just what she sees in a photo. For me a social means a better chance of chemistry."

This for me too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

We've found it's genuinely a way of ing out the time wasters too. A lot of guys are 'well up for it' but when you mention a social first the lose the bottle.

If you cant be bothered to spend an hour or so of your time with us over a coffee first why should we be bothered to spend a couple of hours with you for sex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really.

I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures.

I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview.

They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile.

I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview.

If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am all for them whether just a friendly coffee with someone you've struck up a rapper with or someone who has caught your eye and you want some neutral territory to see if there is a click outside of a white box.

However I've not long since had a chat with another fab member who said they feel uncomfortable with socials as it feels too much like dating and that's not why they joined fab.

This has kinda bugged my happy. I don't think you can form an accurate impression until you've met in person and that doesn't mean saying hi and dropping your knickers.

Yes I have met and had sex on the first meet without a social but it hasn't been all that and invariably you don't see the person again .

*this isn't a judgemental post in any way shape or form*

Just intrigued to see how others view socials. I see them now almost as mandatory "

I would go with my instinct on this one, some like socials others don't and you said you've don't without in the past, so I would say go with the flow, if it seems that's there's more to be said before those knickers drop then head on down to your local coffee shop. I like socials because you get to know the person face to face not through a screen, but sometimes a social just isn't needed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?"

Nope. I'm a good judge of character and I never bother with a social. I can tell from messaging and pics etc whether o want to meet for sex or not. I don't just fuck anybody and I do like a connection I'm just lucky that I don't need to sit through a coffee (or 6) to make my mind up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Not really.

I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures.

I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview.

They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile.

I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview.

If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too. "

How can you expect someone to let you play "2 in the pink, 1 in the stink" if you won't have coffee with them first? Unfathomable!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not really.

I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures.

I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview.

They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile.

I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview.

If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too.

How can you expect someone to let you play "2 in the pink, 1 in the stink" if you won't have coffee with them first? Unfathomable! "

I know.

Outrageous!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?

Nope. I'm a good judge of character and I never bother with a social. I can tell from messaging and pics etc whether o want to meet for sex or not. I don't just fuck anybody and I do like a connection I'm just lucky that I don't need to sit through a coffee (or 6) to make my mind up. "

This ^^^

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating.

Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer.....

Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a social is important to find out if there's any chemistry, we wouldn't want to ride anyone and the social aspect is also nice with some teasing , flirting and build up whats to come x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?"

I don't bother with socials either if the lass is happy to meet without one.

By the time we meet though,more often than not we'll have been messaging back n forth for a week or two or sometimes even longer,and also have spoken on the phone at least once.

I find by doing it this way then by the time we meet we both know enough about each other to feel fairly comfortable.

Doing this n also going with my gut feeling hasn't let me down so far n I've yet to have any unwanted surprises upon meeting.

Works for me anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We always have a social only meet first. Totally respect that other people don't want that but there's room for us all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

This will come as something of a surprise to most regular forumites , but we now love socials !

Well , that's not strictly true as every one that we've had recently has ended up in play at some point , but we love a drink and a flirt .

We generally got out at about 7.30 , and have to be home by 12 so there's no way we would play non stop for almost 5 hours . So a drink , a chat and a laugh are a great way to fill out the evening

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating.

Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer.....

Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time..."

Spot on , and the only time we don't play is when the people we meet are either nothing like their pics , or they are rude , dirty , or arrogant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

Social first always

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Am i the only one who really isnt bothered for a social then?

Nope. I'm a good judge of character and I never bother with a social. I can tell from messaging and pics etc whether o want to meet for sex or not. I don't just fuck anybody and I do like a connection I'm just lucky that I don't need to sit through a coffee (or 6) to make my mind up. "

Agree...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i didn't need social meets when i was meeting for sex.

but the guys i were meeting for sex were doing it in a way that was unsatisfactory for me and i did feel a need for something more to keep me interested and keep me turned on, a social could do that for me.

i need a lot of sex, got sick of having to constantly meet new guys to fulfil that need so just lost all interest now and looking elsewhere for what i want.

even socials can lead to something shallow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do like a social, and often insist on one before any sexual shenanigans take place..,

There has to be some chemistry on my part and fuck and go meets just aren't my thing "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating.

Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer.....

Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time...

Spot on , and the only time we don't play is when the people we meet are either nothing like their pics , or they are rude , dirty , or arrogant "

If you were only closer...... xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"i didn't need social meets when i was meeting for sex.

but the guys i were meeting for sex were doing it in a way that was unsatisfactory for me and i did feel a need for something more to keep me interested and keep me turned on, a social could do that for me.

i need a lot of sex, got sick of having to constantly meet new guys to fulfil that need so just lost all interest now and looking elsewhere for what i want.

even socials can lead to something shallow.

"

If you are meeting fuck and go's you won't get any satisfaction. If you want sex tp connect and have a chance of being satisfactory you have to know the person. Fuck and gos don't care if you enjoy it. You'd be better off finding 3/4 that you regularly play with who can satisfy and merge sex and social.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating.

Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer.....

Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time..."

Perhaps there's a difference being in a couple. When I was previously we still met for socials because if they didn't match up in person we wouldn't play . However if they did or didn't it was irrelevant because we had each other.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlo82 OP   Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"Not really.

I think you can kind of work out if you're gonna fuck each other or not by messaging and seeing pictures.

I like a night out on meets followed by sex..but I'm not going to attend someones fucking interview.

They should know if I'm for them after messaging swapping pics, reading my profile.

I'm not going to sit there like it's an interview.

If I'm not for you, you'd know that pretty quickly, equally, if she's not for me, I'd also know that pretty quickly too. "

I've sat and chatted for weeks with numerous pics exchanged. Met up and the person doesn't look anything like their pics so was very glad it was a social first. Plus conversation didn't flow in person. It's easy to text on a screen. That doesn't translate into dialogue in person though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Have to have a social first as you need to see if there is a certain chemistry and attraction between you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We now have a rule no social only meets, what do they achieve? A social with a view to play on that meet is great, but not a social only, we've found them in the past to be like a job interview, Everyone saying the right thing, very boring, time wasting, cold & calculating.

Meet up, flirt, chat, have a drink if you like each other have a play, if you click when you play, great, if not, one evening wasted or would you prefer.....

Chat online for weeks, meet up for a social, get on great, so carry on chatting online, text etc. Meet up again, have a play, bit of a disaster, so what a waste of a load of time...

Perhaps there's a difference being in a couple. When I was previously we still met for socials because if they didn't match up in person we wouldn't play . However if they did or didn't it was irrelevant because we had each other. "

It's a totally different dynamic for couples.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people saying they don't need a social to decide whether they like someone. Although we're big on socials, to the extent we expect it for every meet not just the first, I actually agree with that view. When we meet, we meet to play, and that decision has been made prior to the meet. The purpose of the social is because we like to make an evening of it. The first social will be to establish a friendship, and subsequent socials will be because we will be to have a catch up and a fun time with someone we regard as a friend. Doing that also helps establish the mood for sex. So our socials could involve anything from drinks in a pub, dinner/lunch, chatting over a bottle of wine at a club, dinner at our house. But we will not under circumstances meet for a meagre cup of coffee to check all is fine, and I would be insulted if someone suggested that. Most guys proabably run a mile when they look at our profile and realise what we expect, as they joined Fab to bypass the dating aspect. But we only need 2 or 3 guys, so it's not hard to find men who share our friendship based approach to swinging.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one man i hadn't met for a social (although we had skyped and chatted on the phone numerously) turned out to be a total weirdo and went on to harrass me and i had to threaten him with getting Police involved to get him to fuck off.

Had i met him first, socially, in a public place, then i wouldn't have found myself in the uncomfortable and scary situation that i did. Never again. Social first, always.

I appreciate it's not for everyone, but for me now, it's the only way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An absolutely must, when I get the chance, because I think you need a completely neutral public venue such as coffee shop so there's no pressure and you can just stand up and walk away.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"i didn't need social meets when i was meeting for sex.

but the guys i were meeting for sex were doing it in a way that was unsatisfactory for me and i did feel a need for something more to keep me interested and keep me turned on, a social could do that for me.

i need a lot of sex, got sick of having to constantly meet new guys to fulfil that need so just lost all interest now and looking elsewhere for what i want.

even socials can lead to something shallow.

If you are meeting fuck and go's you won't get any satisfaction. If you want sex tp connect and have a chance of being satisfactory you have to know the person. Fuck and gos don't care if you enjoy it. You'd be better off finding 3/4 that you regularly play with who can satisfy and merge sex and social. "

fuck and go can be good if they're regular. the guy i was meeting for the longest was fuck and go and i enjoyed fucking him very often, shame he moved away with work and can't meet as often now.

i don't need a connection, the social part did help a bit coz it changed my mindset from only looking to a fuck to becoming more mentally prepared for a fuck.

just i was hoping for more regular sex with just a few guys, or even one guy if it was often enough. i've had that before and enjoyed it.

cutting my losses now, not focusing on meeting randoms at all and all my regulars (apart from the one mentioned above) aren't regular enough so they're gone too.

fantasy is a part of the enjoyment of sex. fantasising about fucking someone is good but it's not possible if they only contact you when they want a fuck AND you've no idea when that will be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

fantasy is a part of the enjoyment of sex. fantasising about fucking someone is good but it's not possible if they only contact you when they want a fuck AND you've no idea when that will be."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *laskan lovers 1984Couple
over a year ago

West midlands

Most times when we say about a social in a pub

It dies a death

And other couple or lady disappear

Xx

So frustrating

Plus each to there own

Especially when you've done quiet a bit of ground work

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We organise Leeds social and we do it cos it's a great party atmosphere and see who we want to take home or contact later love the build up flirting and playing however if I'm in the mood I don't mind just playing with randomers too if they are hot!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *norksterMan
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond

I'd meet just for a chat, coffee n cake, doesn't need to be sexual, could end up being a real friend who you can bounce all your thoughts off. Then eat more cake, or shenanigans or cake and shenanigans...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd meet just for a chat, coffee n cake, doesn't need to be sexual, could end up being a real friend who you can bounce all your thoughts off. Then eat more cake, or shenanigans or cake and shenanigans..."

all this bouncing talk is making me aroused

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cake and shenanigans you cant beat it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top