FabSwingers.com forum: So now im a snob

By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

My first grandchild is due in September and I'm over the moon. So my sons partneres parents have told me I'm a snob for wanting everything new for the baby , hopefully the baby will be the first one of a couple which is what they want so I think its worth the money am I wrong ?

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

I'd be more worried what the expectant parents want more than anything else, if you can afford it and and it's going to be used again in the future, why not.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

It's your money...spend it how you like.

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

What you or the other grandparents want is irrelevant, it's what the parents want that's important. If they want all new and you're in a position to help them get that then great

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

Oh and congrats.

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

"My first grandchild is due in September and I'm over the moon. So my sons partneres parents have told me I'm a snob for wanting everything new for the baby , hopefully the baby will be the first one of a couple which is what they want so I think its worth the money am I wrong ?"
Perhaps they are just insecure that they don't have the kind of money to buy new things for the baby. Another perspective is there isn't much point as they grow out of clothes etc so fast. I personally think grandparents should spoil their grandchildren though.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

I'd be more worried what the expectant parents want more than anything else, if you can afford it and and it's going to be used again in the future, why not.

"
We are lucky we are in a position to help , just buying bits every week and putting them away ,crib comeing tomorrow chosen by them I know they arnt in the same position as us but its not a completion

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"Oh and congrats.

"
Thanks ,carnt wait x

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

First congratulations all round.

Perhaps they don't feel they have the funds you do. They could feel it'll get difficult trying to "keep up" with the other grandparents

Have you asked the new to be parents

My personal view is that rate they grow/dirty stuff expensive fancy clothes are a waste baby grows and hand knitted cardigans are enough (and very retro)

As for equipment: it depends so much that we are told we need is actually pointless (bit like kitchen gadgets) and the selling get sites are full of them unused and unwanted as they take up space.

Spend money on the safety aspects

Pram/car seats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations. We found that a mixture of new, borrowed and passed on worked great for us. But it's not snobbish to want to buy everything new, but it's a very expensive thing to do. Even 18 years ago it was very pricey so the help we received from our parents, relatives and friends was welcomed. However we were in charge of the decision making as the baby was ours.

Wish you many years of happy grandparenting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and buy second hand when I can. Does a baby need a new crib? It's just wood. They're only used for a very short amount of time. It's not going to infect the baby with anything to have a second hand on, and buying a second hand one would prevent something ending up in landfill.

Plus sometimes you might get something far, far, far nicer for your £X if you buy second hand than if you buy new.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

I learnt from my son , hes an only child how fast they grow out of things so I have been buying a mixture of sizes I told my son to just say they were buying things but he says we shouldn't need to lie x

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"I try and buy second hand when I can. Does a baby need a new crib? It's just wood. They're only used for a very short amount of time. It's not going to infect the baby with anything to have a second hand on, and buying a second hand one would prevent something ending up in landfill.

Plus sometimes you might get something far, far, far nicer for your £X if you buy second hand than if you buy new."
Good point x

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

Steve says to walk away from the computer or he will empty my shopping basket , carnt help it so excited and I don't want them to struggle like we did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They might think you are trying to take over. Are you letting them buy anything at all? I understand you are excited but it's their daughter, they will want to help out too. Congrats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going be nana in September too. We buying mostly new stuff. Her partner is waste of oxygen. No job no intention of getting one etc. I think we all want new but sometimes can't afford it.. Congratulations. X Marie.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

"They might think you are trying to take over. Are you letting them buy anything at all? I understand you are excited but it's their daughter, they will want to help out too. Congrats. as I have said its not a competision , but its complicated they are heavy drinkers so money is tight but I don't think we should be put in a position where we shouldn't buy , its going to be a struggle for them when my sons partner stops working x"
Fuck them, doesn't mean you love the kid more than them or that the kid will make you favourites. They should want the best for the kid and if they can't provide that they should be happy you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I didn't mean you're making it a competition, just they might feel that way. They may be heavy drinkers but they'll have feelings too.

Maybe talk and agree what each set of grannys will buy? Or give your son some cash to help with the bills. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations

I'd recommend NCT nearly new sales.

I got lots of stuff for my son from them including a Silver Cross pram which converted into a pushchair for a lot less money than if I'd bought it new.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"They might think you are trying to take over. Are you letting them buy anything at all? I understand you are excited but it's their daughter, they will want to help out too. Congrats. as I have said its not a competision , but its complicated they are heavy drinkers so money is tight but I don't think we should be put in a position where we shouldn't buy , its going to be a struggle for them when my sons partner stops working x Fuck them, doesn't mean you love the kid more than them or that the kid will make you favourites. They should want the best for the kid and if they can't provide that they should be happy you can."
Don't get us wrong we arnt loaded we can afford to buy bits every week and so can my sons aunties but its making everbody feel awkward x

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

Sorry I didn't mean you're making it a competition, just they might feel that way. They may be heavy drinkers but they'll have feelings too.

Maybe talk and agree what each set of grannys will buy? Or give your son some cash to help with the bills. x"
We have tried to talk to them and said we could make the stuff as a joint gift but that didn't go down very well x

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

"Steve says to walk away from the computer or he will empty my shopping basket , carnt help it so excited and I don't want them to struggle like we did "

Congratulations!

We struggled with a baby, it was a financial blow tbh. My mum bought cheap practical bits, my husband's parents ridiculous gifts and no matter how I tried to say please spend money on important stuff my toddler still had 2 pairs of uggs and I had to work alot of overtime for neccasaties

So if it's needed - bloody do it! Baby's and baby stuff are magical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your money , your grandchild , spoil it rotten xxx why wouldnt you .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can afford it. So be it.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"Steve says to walk away from the computer or he will empty my shopping basket , carnt help it so excited and I don't want them to struggle like we did

Congratulations!

So if it's needed - bloody do it! Baby's and baby stuff are magical"
I'm buying stuff like baby grows vests , little unisex stuff they don't want to know the sex and stuff like baby shampoo and baby bath cotton wool , I did tell my son to bugger of at a eight hundred pound pram lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations on the good news spoil your grandwean it's a grandparents progrative fs.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"Congratulations on the good news spoil your grandwean it's a grandparents progrative fs.

"
Thanks it took us a long time to get our son so this is so exciteing xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends how you are going about things. Personally I was grateful for any help when we had our kids but if one of the grandparents tried to enforce their way of doing things I wouldn't have been happy. I'm a believer that it's a waste of money to spend top money on baby things because you get so little use out of it. I'd rather grandparents put money into savings for the kids if they want to help rather than insist on expensive new things for a baby. Just my view.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"It depends how you are going about things. Personally I was grateful for any help when we had our kids but if one of the grandparents tried to enforce their way of doing things I wouldn't have been happy. I'm a believer that it's a waste of money to spend top money on baby things because you get so little use out of it. I'd rather grandparents put money into savings for the kids if they want to help rather than insist on expensive new things for a baby. Just my view. "
I don't agree with buying expensive things for a baby , they are in them so little time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have kids but what I do know is a I have a new little nephew, he's just turned 1 years old.

And they grow FAST.

Every month they are changing his clothes, I wouldn't go crazy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and also congratz on that.

I fucking love kids.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

I don't have kids but what I do know is a I have a new little nephew, he's just turned 1 years old.

And they grow FAST.

Every month they are changing his clothes, I wouldn't go crazy.

"
ive bought o to three months and three to six months and I refuse to buy a pair of jeans 0 to 3months I know how fast they grow x

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

Plus sometimes you might get something far, far, far nicer for your £X if you buy second hand than if you buy new."

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

From the end training information you've given as the he read has grown it sounds as if you may need to step back and little if it's already caused some issues.

Your views of your daughter in laws parents has to be put aside - so they drink- they are her parents and I'm sure she has views on things.

You will never please everyone but maybe put the money aside for a bit so it's there when they ask/mention /see something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be a snob. If the baby's parents are happy for you to help, buy what you want.

When my girls told me what they were having I couldn't walk past mamas n papas without buying an outfit, and a trip to Mothercare every month with my daughters for buggies, baby bouncers, nappies and such. I'll be the same if my son ever has children.

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

"From the end training information you've given as the he read has grown it sounds as if you may need to step back and little if it's already caused some issues.

Your views of your daughter in laws parents has to be put aside - so they drink- they are her parents and I'm sure she has views on things.

You will never please everyone but maybe put the money aside for a bit so it's there when they ask/mention /see something?"
My sons partner has no time for her parents because of the way she has been brought up , that was their choice not ours she has only just relaxed and been able to show affection so we will do everything we can do to make them happy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey, congratulations. I don't think it should matter what anyone else thinks. It's perfectly normal to want only the best for your grandchild, i'm speaking from experience - i have 3. Chances are if there's to be more on the way then new will last longer when it's passed down so go for it.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I've always found that people who call other people snobs are something I should probably not say on here

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By *tarbeck OP Couple
over a year ago

york

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FWIW - I've just been to university. It was really expensive. A few thousand saved for me as a baby/young child instead of having fancy stuff that I don't even remember would have been so much more helpful to my life.

Like, I literally don't remember anything before the age of about four. I can't tell you what my crib looked like, what bedding I had, what clothes I had, or what toys I had (except for Minty the Lamb which I left in a toilet in Liverpool). I can't remember anything. Anything that I used was basically for the benefit of the adults around me.

It doesn't help the child to have new things. If it makes you feel good about it then that's good - but *that* should be your justification. (But seriously - match anything you spend £ for £ into a savings account. After Brexit everything is going to get more expensive for our next generation of young people.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#Firstworldproblems

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

The cost can be eye watering nowadays, especially the prams or buggys

And a lot of it was/is unnecessary

Why not put what you can into a baby fund ? That way the parents can get what they want, when they need it.

And second hand/ repurposed is just as good the way they grow so fast.

I've still got high chairs and seats, pushchairs etc.

Tried to car boot them, ideal for seconds/ grandparents and occasional use, but no one wants them

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Congratulations how wonderful.. So sad my daughter tells me she is far too selfish to have children so no hope for me. I still have the gorgeous SilverCross Pram in the loft which finally needs to be sold this summer.

They sound jealous maybe they dont have spare money to buy new stuff.

Things are expensive and sometimes it really isnt needed to have brand new.

In the end you and they will do what they want.

Have fun with it .

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Have you thought the other family may have things that new babies in their family traditionally use?

As with everything in life its a bit of give and take to find peace

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By *W ChapMan
over a year ago

Swindon

Maybe they feel bad because they can't afford to do what you can......careful with this, I've had to sit back and say nothing with my normally rational daughter with things surrounding my grandaughter.

It's their child at the end of the day and what they say has to go....

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