FabSwingers.com forum: Thanks But No Thanks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So... my first post here although ive read a few, this seems similar to the one im following below.

I have even updated my profile with something like the below earlier.

I know some ladys recieve unacceptable reactions from guys who get rejected which is wrong and those members clearly dont have any manners or etiquette but personally speaking i find a reply of "thanks but no thanks" an acceptable and reapectfull response, at least they are honest, otherwise guys are inclined to keep "knocking the door till its opened or slammed in their face"

If i have spent the time to read your profile and enjoyed it so that i send you a message or even if i just find you damn sexy and wanna say hi and see if i have a chance, some responce is better than no responce.

I sometimes send a message just to make a lady feel better about something they have written a status about or just to make em smile, a thank you goes a long way.

I think the problem stems from the hundreds of messages ladys recieve personally so not sure it will ever change but just wanted other persons opinions...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your last paragraph hit the nail in the head. Volume.

Site rules say no response means 'not interested' - move on

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

There you go...

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum-search/Replies

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I know some ladys recieve unacceptable reactions from guys who get rejected which is wrong and those members clearly dont have any manners or etiquette but personally speaking i find a reply of "thanks but no thanks" an acceptable and reapectfull response, at least they are honest, otherwise guys are inclined to keep "knocking the door till its opened or slammed in their face"

Is way too negative for me. Are you selling yourself or putting other guys down?

The latter is not sexy

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If I get a message and its clear that they have read my profile I do try and send a response. If it's obvious they haven't read it or its a one liner/from someone miles away/a shadow I'll just delete. Occasionally I'll do a bulk delete when my inbox is exploding. Unlike some I don't get 100's of messages a day. You have to love the filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always politely reply but then you get...oh why not...go on give me a chance. Etc....or they tell. Me I'm a fat slag. It does get annoying and makes you want to not politely reply and just delete or block

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, is your name pronounced Cum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""I know some ladys recieve unacceptable reactions from guys who get rejected which is wrong and those members clearly dont have any manners or etiquette but personally speaking i find a reply of "thanks but no thanks" an acceptable and reapectfull response, at least they are honest, otherwise guys are inclined to keep "knocking the door till its opened or slammed in their face"

Is way too negative for me. Are you selling yourself or putting other guys down?

The latter is not sexy

Neither... i think...

Ive been guilty of sending a message or 2 without a reply, sometimes i think maybe it was the wrong time last time and i will have better luck this time, this can annoy some ladys im sure so sometimes its better for guys to know where they stand if it is a bug or someones bugging you.

Didnt mean any disrespect to any other member by it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, is your name pronounced Cum?

No... they are initials lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a couple of reasons for me OP, although as I'm slick with my filters my inbox is more manageable these days.

Main reasons for not replying at all are; the sender clearly hasn't read my profile, or has read it and disregarded all of my preferences that I bothered to write

Sender is vulgar or abusive

Sender is someone I know or have history with and I do t wish to open a dialogue

Other reasons which I used to delete without replying were just because of sheer volume, and also that once I reply to someone they can then always get around my filters, and filters are a girls best friend.

Don't be disheartened, save yourself for someone who does reply, and don't think bad of those who don't / can't reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

unfortunately,there is no way of telling which guy is likely to respond to a polite no thanks negatively...hence the reason a lot of women just go with the 'no response=no interest'...not a lot you can do about it other than accept it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always politely reply but then you get...oh why not...go on give me a chance. Etc....or they tell. Me I'm a fat slag. It does get annoying and makes you want to not politely reply and just delete or block"

Those are the members that need blocking and ruin it for other gents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to all messages eventually..

but if I get a follow up message asking me why I haven't replied to the original message they sent then I just block them

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Ive been guilty of sending a message or 2 without a reply, sometimes i think maybe it was the wrong time last time and i will have better luck this time"

That is a massive no no

And that's why I block guys who I say no thanks to

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Those are the members that need blocking and ruin it for other gents

Consider this OP, if you can't stand out amongst a group of ignorant and foolish men then you need to revamp yourself into someone who would catch a woman's/couple's eye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don't get a response, then I take it as not interested. Which Is fine, I see no need to do a follow up message. LOL! I'm not that desperate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't imagine what it will be like having every lady I message give me a response - I'll be confused!

I've had loads of "no response", " no thanks" and a few successes.

That's fine by me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive been guilty of sending a message or 2 without a reply, sometimes i think maybe it was the wrong time last time and i will have better luck this time

That is a massive no no

And that's why I block guys who I say no thanks to

I understand what your saying, i do think your right but I of course would respect a ladys decision and not write twice if i had a thanks but no thanks, but i do understand not all blokes take it well.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

OP would you really, honestly sit and type 'thanks but no thanks' to dozens of messages every single day?

Somebody might go weeks or months before wanting to chat or meet someone new. How many replies would that be?

It's not realistic. I wouldn't do it.

MrB

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP would you really, honestly sit and type 'thanks but no thanks' to dozens of messages every single day?

Somebody might go weeks or months before wanting to chat or meet someone new. How many replies would that be?

It's not realistic. I wouldn't do it.

MrB"

I dont mean every message, i only mean the messages that have any meaning.

For example if i actually manage to write something humerous based on the profile which is a little original (it does happened haha) or related to a status which is designed to make the lady smile.

If it was every message it must be impossible..

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"OP would you really, honestly sit and type 'thanks but no thanks' to dozens of messages every single day?

Somebody might go weeks or months before wanting to chat or meet someone new. How many replies would that be?

It's not realistic. I wouldn't do it.

MrB

I dont mean every message, i only mean the messages that have any meaning.

For example if i actually manage to write something humerous based on the profile which is a little original (it does happened haha) or related to a status which is designed to make the lady smile.

If it was every message it must be impossible.. "

I get what you mean. I think the problems are described above. We have female friends who have tried to be polite and then eventually received really nasty personal replies which have upset them. That does unfortunately lead to a 'once bitten twice shy' or 'never again' result. Plus the fab message inbox is fairly poor the preview pane is small, so not easy to see if the message is carefully crafted or a c+p.

And after a long day at work, returning to an inbox of dozens of mails, I'm sure many ladies do just scan for messages from friends and delete the rest. It isn't malicious or lazy or superior (you didn't say those things) its just life.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I dont mean every message, i only mean the messages that have any meaning.

For example if i actually manage to write something humerous based on the profile which is a little original (it does happened haha) or related to a status which is designed to make the lady smile.

If it was every message it must be impossible.. "

Yeah but define "have any meaning" or "humourous" or "original" - what you might deem to be any of those the recipient might not.

Best way is to not expect a response and that way it's a pleasant surprise if you do get one.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

"i find a reply of "thanks but no thanks" an acceptable and reapectfull response, at least they are honest, otherwise guys are inclined to keep "knocking the door till its opened or slammed in their face"

You can say no till your blue in the face and they will still message and try there luck. I've told a particular person 'No thanks' many times yet they messaged me again tonight... not once, but twice!!!

So I prefere to just ignore and delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I don't get a response, then I take it as not interested. Which Is fine, I see no need to do a follow up message. LOL! I'm not that desperate.

but some do...and are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't pinpoint exactly what makes me reply to someone.

It could be that well thought out message crafted from reading my profile but it's more likely to be that your avatar / username caught my eye, you caught me at the right time or you've mailed me about a forum thread.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Ive been guilty of sending a message or 2 without a reply, sometimes i think maybe it was the wrong time last time and i will have better luck this time

That is a massive no no

And that's why I block guys who I say no thanks to

But no reply means No Thanks. It's in the FAQs

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I dont mean every message, i only mean the messages that have any meaning.

For example if i actually manage to write something humerous based on the profile which is a little original (it does happened haha) or related to a status which is designed to make the lady smile.

If it was every message it must be impossible.. "

Every guy thinks they've sent the best messages and every woman can decide what she wants to do about it.

Getting hung up over replies is spoiling your experience of Fab. Maybe put more effort into being a great guy and not worry about it so much?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

And "chewing your ear off in the non sexual way" is something we do with our Fab friends and 'real life' friends.

I would never want to chat endlessly with a silhouette man

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"OP, is your name pronounced Cum?

That's funny - I was wondering the same, when I saw the thread.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

if you did it to make someone feel better then you shouldn't need a thank you. although i understand why you might want feedback this also means you aren't really doing it for them if you expect something in return.

the problem stems from a few things, these being the main ones;

one being on the internet gives you easy access to anyone who has their inbox open to messaging.

another being you have expectations that are not realistic on here.

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