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In a zombie apocalypse

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My plan is to flutter my eyelashes at a kick ass guy and have him look after me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm good at running

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Team up with "rick" he's done ok

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

I am familiar with most automatic weapons of the last 25 years and can handle a chainsaw.

In a zombie film I would be down to the final three but die heroically while allowing the other two to escape to freedom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My willingness to survive, mainly.

Along with that I'm a big, strong guy, and you've got yourself a pretty decent Apocalypse partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can tie a reef knot.

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By *ondon-guy68Man
over a year ago

London

I'm good at hide and seek

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?"

I can find the Winchester

I have an appropriate queen album

I have a cricket bat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Um, I can make balloon animals

Maybe theyd let me live if I made them all a balloon doggie?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I did my gold D of E - something from that must come in use. Oh and I have stamina and am fat so will be able to survive without food for a bit as I carry around my own bakery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can tie a reef knot. "

You're hired, you can be on my team.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can tie a reef knot.

You're hired, you can be on my team."

I knew it would come in handy one day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would selflessly throw myself at the feet of the oncoming zombie horde, after cutting myself, to give my family time to escape, as the zombies devour me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a trained archer so I can attack from range

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an over 50 single male on fab. Nobody else gives a shit, why should a zombie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a zombie gangbang orgy just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might as well shag a corpse. Lol.

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By *rightonfranceMan
over a year ago

brighton - chalais france

i live in france so have a lot of the essential goodies already, several chain saws, shotguns, axes archery equip and cross bows.. petrol, generators quad bikes etc.. I think I'm well sorted..lol

And of course in a very desolate area so very few peeps about in the first place.. lol

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

I've got keys to the cellar of the Winchester pub, and I'm handy with a pool cue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im a trained archer so I can attack from range "

Good skills

I'm an accountant, I can bore them to death

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I did my gold D of E - something from that must come in use. Oh and I have stamina and am fat so will be able to survive without food for a bit as I carry around my own bakery."

Get away, you are not fat

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By *rince Charming 69Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

I did my cycling proficiency test,

( And have the badge to prove it....)

So I can pedal away quickly in the opposite direction!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I carry a baton and handcuffs for work so I could bring those along to the party....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look like one most mornings so could be inside man!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Im a trained archer so I can attack from range

Good skills

I'm an accountant"

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I did my gold D of E - something from that must come in use. Oh and I have stamina and am fat so will be able to survive without food for a bit as I carry around my own bakery.

Get away, you are not fat"

No, I am. But I'm surprisingly quick so I'll last long against the zombies. Are they shufflers? Demonically possessed and sprint like hell hounds?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

A, teach them the monster mash then invite them in for tea and cake

B, head to my local Weatherspoons, the zombies will assume the pubs already full of zombies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im a trained archer so I can attack from range

Good skills

I'm an accountant

"

Can honestly say it's never had that reaction before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a builder ,I'll build us a shelter while account counts how many of those fuckers are still coming ...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

It's been a while but I'm pretty nifty with a rifle.

But I'm slow at running so will probably get eaten and then sides ah well

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Im a trained archer so I can attack from range

Good skills

I'm an accountant

Can honestly say it's never had that reaction before "

You shouldn't depreciate yourself like that (sorry, not sorry).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?"

1. Yeah..I'd tie their shoe laces together.

2. I'm good at tying shoes laces.

...

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

give me a university lab and I can make useful stuff... probably. I can grow plants-food like stuff. I can sew and knit- clothes. In a pinch I could do basic day surgery- probably...

all that is true but I'm such a wimp that I'd be 1st against the wall come the revolution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im a trained archer so I can attack from range

Good skills

I'm an accountant

Can honestly say it's never had that reaction before

You shouldn't depreciate yourself like that (sorry, not sorry)."

that's a good one! You really are the LIFO the party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv got a cooking stove and few supplies plus I have watched a lot of man vs wild so could knock up a fire and a few traps lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick with me. I'll save us all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?"

I can hang blinds and curtain for our hideout. Any use?

Or maybe should have a hammer drill and know how to use it.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Can I just be like Michon please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can run and scream and scream and run some more... so all the zombies will follow the hysterically screaming eejit! All you lot will be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also have a nail gun ,always useful in case we need to nail down a sacrifice ...

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

I survived a Bareback Forum thread.....compared to that a zombie apocalypse is a piece of piss

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I can run and scream and scream and run some more... so all the zombies will follow the hysterically screaming eejit! All you lot will be fine "

Are you scared of the zombies?

Poor peach, come here...I've got a rifle and a blade.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I also have a nail gun ,always useful in case we need to nail down a sacrifice ... "

Twisted. I like it

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I did my gold D of E - something from that must come in use. Oh and I have stamina and am fat so will be able to survive without food for a bit as I carry around my own bakery.

Get away, you are not fat

No, I am. But I'm surprisingly quick so I'll last long against the zombies. Are they shufflers? Demonically possessed and sprint like hell hounds?"

Shufflers.

You need a bat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also have a nail gun ,always useful in case we need to nail down a sacrifice ...

Twisted. I like it "

Oh I'm twisted

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"I'm an over 50 single male on fab. Nobody else gives a shit, why should a zombie. "

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"I survived a Bareback Forum thread.....compared to that a zombie apocalypse is a piece of piss "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?"

Im a chemist so can synthesise drugs and antiobiotics etc, i work in a chemical company with a secure compound

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to army base and rob a tank no zombie getting in it and fully armed or just run them over propperjob

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We own - and use - crossbows, longbows, axes, maces, swords and various pole weapons, so we'd give 'em hell!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, in a pinch, I can fly a light aircraft - something with a prop, and not too much bigger than a 2-seater, so I'm afraid getting us all out on a Hercules might be a bit beyond my skills. (Bit rusty though - I haven't logged a single hour in 20 years, and I'm not entirely certain how to land...)

Failing that? Vegetable gardening, bookkeeping, administration, creative writing, and a healthily dark, bleak, occasionally sarcastic sense of humour (meaning I'll probably survive until halfway through the third reel, and then expire with a final quip). Oh, and back around the time I was learning to fly, I was also pretty reasonable with a bolt-action .22!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well, in a pinch, I can fly a light aircraft - something with a prop, and not too much bigger than a 2-seater, so I'm afraid getting us all out on a Hercules might be a bit beyond my skills. (Bit rusty though - I haven't logged a single hour in 20 years, and I'm not entirely certain how to land...)

Failing that? Vegetable gardening, bookkeeping, administration, creative writing, and a healthily dark, bleak, occasionally sarcastic sense of humour (meaning I'll probably survive until halfway through the third reel, and then expire with a final quip). Oh, and back around the time I was learning to fly, I was also pretty reasonable with a bolt-action .22!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cardio is pretty good. Pretty sure I could just outrun the zombies if I couldn't be arsed head stabbing anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty handy with a screwdriver, so could stab them in the head.

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By *reeneyedbuddhaCouple
over a year ago

on tees

I am pretty medical and can patch up wounds , stitch etc.Buddhas also EX army so could come in handy. I can also pitch a tent blindfold , useful for those hideouts in dark forests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Kill lots of people I don't like and if they say "I'm not a zombie" stab them and quote "that's exactly what a zombie would say"

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Ooh and put on my chain armour, zombies can't get you if they can't bite you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I can handle a chainsaw and I've already got a plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can tie a reef knot. "

Excellent skill for when the reef needs to be re-tied!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can handle a chainsaw and I've already got a plan "

You can be in my team, as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We own - and use - crossbows, longbows, axes, maces, swords and various pole weapons, so we'd give 'em hell!"

So not jehovas then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to the Winchester, to have a nice cold pint, and wait for it all blow over.

How's that for a slice of fried gold?

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

I'm reasonably good with a shotgun and a rifle, damn good with a crossbow and bow and arrow, own several swords and a chainsaw. I'm too fat for running, I'll fight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I learned recently I'm pretty deadly with an axe at 15 paces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I learned recently I'm pretty deadly with an axe at 15 paces "

Dare we ask how you found this out

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go "

I'm with you, and can vouch for Pud and Bryan^^^

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I'm going to the Winchester, to have a nice cold pint, and wait for it all blow over.

How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I learned recently I'm pretty deadly with an axe at 15 paces

Dare we ask how you found this out "

She could tell you bet then she'd have to

*thump*

Aargh.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go

I'm with you, and can vouch for Pud and Bryan^^^ "

+ sammi makes 5. we're full. pick up and get used to a weapon, three at the windows, one standing gunner, standing takes the heavy 10 gauge, there's three and a half inch magnum shells under the seat for that, whoever is on that, you've got a bit more range ok? and mount it up good and tight on that shoulder, got a kick!

windows, take a 12 gauge, there are three inch mags for those under the other seat, let 'em get in a bit closer before firing, no worries, we're armored we good? lets roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go "

Transforming the shed into an underground bunker?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go

Transforming the shed into an underground bunker? "

it had crossed my mind! but no.....too many people around here, resource would be gone in no time and the place would be over run, in between a town centre and a uni? ...there would be bedreadlocked student zombies all over the gaff!

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By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I'd just get a load of treadmills all around my house. They could walk all day and never get any closer so it'd be pretty easy I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd just get a load of treadmills all around my house. They could walk all day and never get any closer so it'd be pretty easy I think "

Think we'll take the run away option. Grab a van, stock it chock full of tinned goods. Nick a yacht and float offshore for a year. Oh and we'll hold orgies on the yacht too. It'll be a long twelve months otherwise.

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I know how to make beer and can make a still

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cardio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spend my last few weeks fucking everything possible then go out swinging... Preferably with some music on in the back ground like eye of the tiger

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go

I'm with you, and can vouch for Pud and Bryan^^^

+ sammi makes 5. we're full. pick up and get used to a weapon, three at the windows, one standing gunner, standing takes the heavy 10 gauge, there's three and a half inch magnum shells under the seat for that, whoever is on that, you've got a bit more range ok? and mount it up good and tight on that shoulder, got a kick!

windows, take a 12 gauge, there are three inch mags for those under the other seat, let 'em get in a bit closer before firing, no worries, we're armored we good? lets roll "

6. we need a child on board sticker. she gets a nerf gun and chain mail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id be a good killer id grpup up with 10k addy n doc and go n see citizen Z

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By *estivalMan
over a year ago

borehamwood

I can use a crossbow and im pretty good with a chainsaw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id be a good killer id grpup up with 10k addy n doc and go n see citizen Z "

Mr Mc... Haven't watched Z nation in a while, stopped watching at a certain point.... Have you watche it all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"6. we need a child on board sticker. she gets a nerf gun and chain mail. "

Why do I get the impression she's going to grow up as Tank Girl?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just head somewhere that not even the zombies would go, like Morecambe or any branch of Ikea.

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon


"6. we need a child on board sticker. she gets a nerf gun and chain mail.

Why do I get the impression she's going to grow up as Tank Girl?"

my brothers in the REME. its a distict possibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a pretty decent sabre fencer and i own a bow. Not the most efficient tools for zombies but I'll go out in style if i do.

My first goal would to go and find the Primitive Technology guy from YouTube and become his friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If just be a good zombie hunter well armed melee weapons only, to be as silent as possible. No how to forge weapons and sharpen the blade without tools. Reckon I'd survive a while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Military experience, Extensive knowledge of zombie lore including George Romero and Max Brooks work.

Also know how to fix vehicles, electrical systems and electronics so handy for rebuilding in the aftermath.

Is it sad I already know which buildings nearby to loot, where to get fuel and where would be a good hideout?

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Let's just head to the Winchester till it all blows over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my brothers in the REME. its a distict possibility. "

I don't know what's more impressive - your list of skills, or that someone besides me actually remembers that comic

(And what a career to have! Definitely a chap we need on-side when civilisation falls. Which should be in about thirty minutes, if Trump isn't impeached first.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go

I'm with you, and can vouch for Pud and Bryan^^^

+ sammi makes 5. we're full. pick up and get used to a weapon, three at the windows, one standing gunner, standing takes the heavy 10 gauge, there's three and a half inch magnum shells under the seat for that, whoever is on that, you've got a bit more range ok? and mount it up good and tight on that shoulder, got a kick!

windows, take a 12 gauge, there are three inch mags for those under the other seat, let 'em get in a bit closer before firing, no worries, we're armored we good? lets roll

6. we need a child on board sticker. she gets a nerf gun and chain mail. "
i have a lovely lille belgian .410 shotgun she could easily handle i could at that age and she seems as capable as i was back then few pointers in safety (hers and ours! not the zombie hordes! ain't no h&s for them mo' fo's!), she'll make a regular little mad max!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cardio "

^ what he said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t even have any good skills. You know like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?"

I bring the God damn table.

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon


"i can shoot, i can trap, i can fish, i can forage pretty effectively, i can brew alcohol from wild fruit for those who desire it (not for me though ta) i own shotguns, i have chainsaws and long handled bill hooks, take a head clean off with one pass with those =) i'm half way ok mechanically, i'm pretty ok with plumbing/electrics..enough to get by, i have a plan already in place, the 4x4 is getting loaded up with weapons, shells and some supplies, right to my mates metal workshop to get the full A team treatment, steel plate everywhere, riot van style front window bars, roof hatch for a gunner, gonna lift his c.b radio from the workshop too...beyond there only i know where i'm going

yeah, i'm good to go

I'm with you, and can vouch for Pud and Bryan^^^

+ sammi makes 5. we're full. pick up and get used to a weapon, three at the windows, one standing gunner, standing takes the heavy 10 gauge, there's three and a half inch magnum shells under the seat for that, whoever is on that, you've got a bit more range ok? and mount it up good and tight on that shoulder, got a kick!

windows, take a 12 gauge, there are three inch mags for those under the other seat, let 'em get in a bit closer before firing, no worries, we're armored we good? lets roll

6. we need a child on board sticker. she gets a nerf gun and chain mail. i have a lovely lille belgian .410 shotgun she could easily handle i could at that age and she seems as capable as i was back then few pointers in safety (hers and ours! not the zombie hordes! ain't no h&s for them mo' fo's!), she'll make a regular little mad max!"

I recon she'd be pretty good tbh, I'll supply the guard dogs.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I'm good with firearms, I've seen World War Z twice, I'm a bit tubby so wont starve to death first, that also means I'm slow so if we get chased chances are they'll get me and you get to live another day. I'm a good cook, I notice things that others dont, like ninja zombies hiding in the trees.

That's about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How would you survive?

What skill set do you bring to the table?"

Zombies cant swim, im taking the van, loading it with food, finding a boat and getting on it, sit out to shore & wait for it to be dealt with. Simple.

Also, dont live too near a graveyard

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Cardio is over rated, a knife and someone you can stab in the leg removes all need to run

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id be a good killer id grpup up with 10k addy n doc and go n see citizen Z

Mr Mc... Haven't watched Z nation in a while, stopped watching at a certain point.... Have you watche it all? "
yea 3 seasons apparently there making the 4th this year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd find the best looking zombie girl and fuck her to death. Then she'd come back to life and we'd start again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id be a good killer id grpup up with 10k addy n doc and go n see citizen Z

Mr Mc... Haven't watched Z nation in a while, stopped watching at a certain point.... Have you watche it all? yea 3 seasons apparently there making the 4th this year."

I stopped watching at the alien bit, do you not think it just got silly from there?

I understand zombies aren't real but bringing aliens into it hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a thought, do all zombies have to eat human flesh?,what if before they became a zombie they were a vegetarian?

Could they not have a light option of say a fava bean salad washed down with a nice chianti? fffffffffff!

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