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Friend love.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol! "

Her defence mechanism has kicked in i think. Dont rush it. Might turn out ok in the end x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give her time. Maybe ask again when some time has passed. Or ask her advice on 'a woman you like', and why your friend thinks this woman will or won't want you.

It may give her the chance to reveal her own feelings.

It sucks when feelings aren't reciprocated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You backed off, so she put the walls up. She felt hurt so you're going to have to give her time to trust you and open up again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You rejected her when she put it all on the line for you and told you how she felt.

She probably thinks you're saying all this now just to keep sleeping with her, which I'm sure you're not. However, she will be questioning the about turn from you.

Maybe she's doing this to see if you mean what you say, like a test?

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city


"You rejected her when she put it all on the line for you and told you how she felt.

She probably thinks you're saying all this now just to keep sleeping with her, which I'm sure you're not. However, she will be questioning the about turn from you.

Maybe she's doing this to see if you mean what you say, like a test?

"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it slow, she opened up and you ran, that'll take some getting over for her. Maybe try a little tit for tat, have you tried opening up to her and feeling vulnerable? Doesn't have to be about this but about something.

Failing that arrange something nice where you know she's going to feel relaxed and happy in your company and just let her see how great you can be together if she can be brave and give it another go x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the others. Give it time. It may happen in the future, carry on being friends with her but don't push the issue. Not yet anyway.

Sounds to me like she's 'testing' you, to see of you still carry on being friends when sex isn't in the equation.

I hope it all works out good for you both though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She has built barriers up to protect herself. She emotionally opened herself up to you and you backed away.

It will take time now for those barriers to come back down again.

I build barriers with people, it's called self preservation, but they do come back down, brick by brick.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

woo her, it might help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She has built barriers up to protect herself. She emotionally opened herself up to you and you backed away.

It will take time now for those barriers to come back down again.

I build barriers with people, it's called self preservation, but they do come back down, brick by brick."

This. So invest time and don't rush. You have to prove she can trust you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good advice and I'm glad I've already opened up to her and told her how I feel. I guess next stage is carry on being her true friend and carry on being honest. I've tried wooing, flirting and honesty.

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By *owdyboy 890Man
over a year ago

Country West

As a few of them have said your going too fast with it if you take your time with it you'll have more success xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stay friends and if its meant to be i think it will simply drift into more again -

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol! "

I can't tell you with any certainty what's going on, only she can do that.

When you say you freaked out, what do you mean, could your behaviour then have influenced how she feels now?

She can't be an emotional stone if she's your friend, she must at least like you.

Personally I think you've got to accept that your time has passed with this lady, she's protecting herself from being rejected again or genuinely has no feelings for you other than friendship. If you need to ask other people what's going on she has properly closed herself off from you and if you can't accept that in the long-term then I suggest you rethink.

Of course I could be completely wrong, so why not lay it on the line with her...at least you'd know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol!

I can't tell you with any certainty what's going on, only she can do that.

When you say you freaked out, what do you mean, could your behaviour then have influenced how she feels now?

She can't be an emotional stone if she's your friend, she must at least like you.

Personally I think you've got to accept that your time has passed with this lady, she's protecting herself from being rejected again or genuinely has no feelings for you other than friendship. If you need to ask other people what's going on she has properly closed herself off from you and if you can't accept that in the long-term then I suggest you rethink.

Of course I could be completely wrong, so why not lay it on the line with her...at least you'd know."

I like your 'emotional stone' comment. That's got me thinking.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol!

I can't tell you with any certainty what's going on, only she can do that.

When you say you freaked out, what do you mean, could your behaviour then have influenced how she feels now?

She can't be an emotional stone if she's your friend, she must at least like you.

Personally I think you've got to accept that your time has passed with this lady, she's protecting herself from being rejected again or genuinely has no feelings for you other than friendship. If you need to ask other people what's going on she has properly closed herself off from you and if you can't accept that in the long-term then I suggest you rethink.

Of course I could be completely wrong, so why not lay it on the line with her...at least you'd know.

I like your 'emotional stone' comment. That's got me thinking. "

Oh!? Not in a bad way I hope.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol!

I can't tell you with any certainty what's going on, only she can do that.

When you say you freaked out, what do you mean, could your behaviour then have influenced how she feels now?

She can't be an emotional stone if she's your friend, she must at least like you.

Personally I think you've got to accept that your time has passed with this lady, she's protecting herself from being rejected again or genuinely has no feelings for you other than friendship. If you need to ask other people what's going on she has properly closed herself off from you and if you can't accept that in the long-term then I suggest you rethink.

Of course I could be completely wrong, so why not lay it on the line with her...at least you'd know."

Nope, I'd say you were probably right.

Freaked out as in.. I wasn't expecting to be told she was falling in love with me. I wasn't sure how I felt. I knew I liked her a lot, but wasn't sure if I was just carried away in the moment or falling in love. We'd said it was friends, then fuck buddies and that was emotional state I was in.. But secretly hoping for more.

My freak out was trying to reassure her I felt very similar, but wasn't sure, worried about both our sets of kids as well. For kids sake. I needed more time to accept it.

We stayed as friends but didn't have sex, I was politely declined. Then about two weeks later I started to realize I felt the same.

Moment may have passed, I've just got to accept it.

Weird thing is now, we're back to pre sex level friends. She knows I'm mentally, physically and emotionally attracted to her. I'm nwot going to pretend I'm not, so I still flirt, which she thinks is funny. But she's very strict, no sex.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol!

I can't tell you with any certainty what's going on, only she can do that.

When you say you freaked out, what do you mean, could your behaviour then have influenced how she feels now?

She can't be an emotional stone if she's your friend, she must at least like you.

Personally I think you've got to accept that your time has passed with this lady, she's protecting herself from being rejected again or genuinely has no feelings for you other than friendship. If you need to ask other people what's going on she has properly closed herself off from you and if you can't accept that in the long-term then I suggest you rethink.

Of course I could be completely wrong, so why not lay it on the line with her...at least you'd know.

Nope, I'd say you were probably right.

Freaked out as in.. I wasn't expecting to be told she was falling in love with me. I wasn't sure how I felt. I knew I liked her a lot, but wasn't sure if I was just carried away in the moment or falling in love. We'd said it was friends, then fuck buddies and that was emotional state I was in.. But secretly hoping for more.

My freak out was trying to reassure her I felt very similar, but wasn't sure, worried about both our sets of kids as well. For kids sake. I needed more time to accept it.

We stayed as friends but didn't have sex, I was politely declined. Then about two weeks later I started to realize I felt the same.

Moment may have passed, I've just got to accept it.

Weird thing is now, we're back to pre sex level friends. She knows I'm mentally, physically and emotionally attracted to her. I'm nwot going to pretend I'm not, so I still flirt, which she thinks is funny. But she's very strict, no sex. "

I'm really confused now because you say in your original post that you have incredible sex

Whatever the outcome I hope its the right one for all involved

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I'm in love with my friend, although I've had to knock it down a peg or two to remain friends with her, it sucks.

We met, talked for months, flirted heavily, then had sex. After a while she told me she had feelings and I freaked out, two weeks later, I realized I was falling for her. In the meantime she hardened her feelings and got colder and we stopped talking.

Now we're friends and talking again, but I can't get her out of my mind.

She says she doesn't want to try, because I have children, but so does she...but she doesn't want to lose my friendship.

I don't understand, we get on really well, we have incredible sex - both of us say we're each other's best, and I believe her. We both fell emotionally for each other. But now she's an emotional stone with me, no flirting and no fun, just genuine friendship.

What's going on girls? Help lol!

I can't tell you with any certainty what's going on, only she can do that.

When you say you freaked out, what do you mean, could your behaviour then have influenced how she feels now?

She can't be an emotional stone if she's your friend, she must at least like you.

Personally I think you've got to accept that your time has passed with this lady, she's protecting herself from being rejected again or genuinely has no feelings for you other than friendship. If you need to ask other people what's going on she has properly closed herself off from you and if you can't accept that in the long-term then I suggest you rethink.

Of course I could be completely wrong, so why not lay it on the line with her...at least you'd know.

Nope, I'd say you were probably right.

Freaked out as in.. I wasn't expecting to be told she was falling in love with me. I wasn't sure how I felt. I knew I liked her a lot, but wasn't sure if I was just carried away in the moment or falling in love. We'd said it was friends, then fuck buddies and that was emotional state I was in.. But secretly hoping for more.

My freak out was trying to reassure her I felt very similar, but wasn't sure, worried about both our sets of kids as well. For kids sake. I needed more time to accept it.

We stayed as friends but didn't have sex, I was politely declined. Then about two weeks later I started to realize I felt the same.

Moment may have passed, I've just got to accept it.

Weird thing is now, we're back to pre sex level friends. She knows I'm mentally, physically and emotionally attracted to her. I'm nwot going to pretend I'm not, so I still flirt, which she thinks is funny. But she's very strict, no sex. "

You're on probation. If you really want her, dig in, be a wonderful friend, and wait.

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