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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

How does that actually happen? Surely, in the course of meeting people, you unexpectedly find someone you click with and then act upon it or not.

I see people commenting all the time that they are or are not seeking it out but I just don't understand the practicalities of that.

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Didn't look for love but got smacked between the eyes by it ... Wow .. I'm just a romantic Fool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does that actually happen? Surely, in the course of meeting people, you unexpectedly find someone you click with and then act upon it or not.

I see people commenting all the time that they are or are not seeking it out but I just don't understand the practicalities of that.

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?"

happened to me last June.. fabber persisted with me and luckily he fel the same.. we are making plans for the future.. I'm on here for the tips and banter!!!

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out. "

That's what I don't get, how is it possible to seek it out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am actively seeking it as nothing comes knocking in your door. I've been single a long time and have both actively searched for a decent fella and I've just gone about my business waiting for it to happen. Neither worked so as I now know what I want in a future partner I'm actively advertising so ha ha (I live in hope)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am actively seeking it as nothing comes knocking in your door. I've been single a long time and have both actively searched for a decent fella and I've just gone about my business waiting for it to happen. Neither worked so as I now know what I want in a future partner I'm actively advertising so ha ha (I live in hope) "

I feel your pain. In the same situation but not wanting the conventional relationship but more of a swinging relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love don't live here anymore

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"How does that actually happen? Surely, in the course of meeting people, you unexpectedly find someone you click with and then act upon it or not.

I see people commenting all the time that they are or are not seeking it out but I just don't understand the practicalities of that.

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?

happened to me last June.. fabber persisted with me and luckily he fel the same.. we are making plans for the future.. I'm on here for the tips and banter!!!"

Did he do that because he felt that attract when you met or was it something you both realised as time went on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing."

You have a point, but I think it can happen as the `finding love on fab' threads prove.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

go for the guys who are struggling but never verify them and never flirt with them in the forums then everyone thinks they are still a sad case and doesn't want them.

lonely people who have given up have the best partners potential.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I am actively seeking it as nothing comes knocking in your door. I've been single a long time and have both actively searched for a decent fella and I've just gone about my business waiting for it to happen. Neither worked so as I now know what I want in a future partner I'm actively advertising so ha ha (I live in hope) "

How it it possible to actively seek? Surely we all meet people every day that we could possibly be attracted to, how does that change if you are choosing to find an attraction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"go for the guys who are struggling but never verify them and never flirt with them in the forums then everyone thinks they are still a sad case and doesn't want them.

lonely people who have given up have the best partners potential. "

I might change my filters now lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you can actively seek out love as opposed to sitting at home waiting for it to knock on your door or in the sense that you're open to it.

Accepting dates with people you might not normally meet, joining clubs, volunteering etc.

I don't think you can guarantee to find it tnough.

I also think that people can fall in love when they don't even want to.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing."

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"go for the guys who are struggling but never verify them and never flirt with them in the forums then everyone thinks they are still a sad case and doesn't want them.

lonely people who have given up have the best partners potential.

I might change my filters now lol"

they'll still be looking for the next, more better, thing but will fail haha.

crush them.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy."

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out.

That's what I don't get, how is it possible to seek it out?"

Actively looking for singles. Dating websites.. asking people out etc

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Try leaning on a lamppost on the corner of the street ... Or lurking in a jacuzzi in a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid fuck buddys, that will end in love!

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I think you can actively seek out love as opposed to sitting at home waiting for it to knock on your door or in the sense that you're open to it.

Accepting dates with people you might not normally meet, joining clubs, volunteering etc.

I don't think you can guarantee to find it tnough.

I also think that people can fall in love when they don't even want to."

But that's my point. Unless you are a hermit with a bad case of misanthropy, there's always a possibility of meeting someone so how does activey seeking someone differ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"go for the guys who are struggling but never verify them and never flirt with them in the forums then everyone thinks they are still a sad case and doesn't want them.

lonely people who have given up have the best partners potential.

I might change my filters now lol

they'll still be looking for the next, more better, thing but will fail haha.

crush them. "

I will make them my slave and they will never want to stray ... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice."

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me. "

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you can actively seek out love as opposed to sitting at home waiting for it to knock on your door or in the sense that you're open to it.

Accepting dates with people you might not normally meet, joining clubs, volunteering etc.

I don't think you can guarantee to find it tnough.

I also think that people can fall in love when they don't even want to.

But that's my point. Unless you are a hermit with a bad case of misanthropy, there's always a possibility of meeting someone so how does activey seeking someone differ?"

I think it makes you more open to possibilities.

I'm not looking for love as I have it and don't want my situation to change, however if I was I would look at the men I meet differently.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months."

do what they did then? they had their kids pretty fast also. having kids can force a relationship also. and i don't mean in a shot gun way but it gives people something to create and look forward to together and bonds form that way.

but there's your answer, you have several recent examples of how people made relationships happen online, follow them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am actively seeking it as nothing comes knocking in your door. I've been single a long time and have both actively searched for a decent fella and I've just gone about my business waiting for it to happen. Neither worked so as I now know what I want in a future partner I'm actively advertising so ha ha (I live in hope)

How it it possible to actively seek? Surely we all meet people every day that we could possibly be attracted to, how does that change if you are choosing to find an attraction?"

I a man just putting it out there that it's what I'm looking for especially in a site like this where basically 90% just want to fuck and go. It is a swingers site after all so I'm hoping to meet someone who wants a relationship with me and we would swing together. As a single mum no I don't meet various people everyday who may or may not be a potential partner but even if I did it's not easy to say on the first date, oh by the way I'm into swinging ha ha. So in the world of Fab I suppose I am actively seeking a relationship and hopefully love, I am not a fool though and love would develop or not as time went on (I hope)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me. "

I kinda disagree. I watched a programme about a woman who went on the search for her ideal man. Science played a part in her search and she kept narrowing it down based on things she wanted in a fella, height, race, family history etc. She met her mr right if you want to call him that and they married. Yes its extreme but she was far from insecure .. had a very good job and was very outgoing. All she wanted was to find the right man for her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me. "

I don't think it smacks of insecurity. Its not always going to happen by chance, sometimes you have to actively look. Meet new people, open yourself up to new possibilities and increase the probability of it "just happening".

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months.

do what they did then? they had their kids pretty fast also. having kids can force a relationship also. and i don't mean in a shot gun way but it gives people something to create and look forward to together and bonds form that way.

but there's your answer, you have several recent examples of how people made relationships happen online, follow them."

That still makes no sense. All online dating is, is increasing your chances of meeting more people. It still doesn't explain how some choose to have a relationship or not.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months.

do what they did then? they had their kids pretty fast also. having kids can force a relationship also. and i don't mean in a shot gun way but it gives people something to create and look forward to together and bonds form that way.

but there's your answer, you have several recent examples of how people made relationships happen online, follow them.

That still makes no sense. All online dating is, is increasing your chances of meeting more people. It still doesn't explain how some choose to have a relationship or not."

Does falling in love with someone mean you have to have a relationship with them?

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Love like everything thing else in life takes effort. And even on finding love, it isn't always hearts and flowers either.

You do have to put yourself out there, date, interact, be open to love. Believe in it and drop your guard. Sometimes that means you risk getting hurt.

Its a decision for some. For others I guess they are lucky, it does just happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

I kinda disagree. I watched a programme about a woman who went on the search for her ideal man. Science played a part in her search and she kept narrowing it down based on things she wanted in a fella, height, race, family history etc. She met her mr right if you want to call him that and they married. Yes its extreme but she was far from insecure .. had a very good job and was very outgoing. All she wanted was to find the right man for her. "

Exactly. I'm not insecure or desperate I just know what I want

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for."

I actually think its very brave to look for love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months.

do what they did then? they had their kids pretty fast also. having kids can force a relationship also. and i don't mean in a shot gun way but it gives people something to create and look forward to together and bonds form that way.

but there's your answer, you have several recent examples of how people made relationships happen online, follow them.

That still makes no sense. All online dating is, is increasing your chances of meeting more people. It still doesn't explain how some choose to have a relationship or not."

You answered your own question......it's a choice, to seek a relationship and or to take a chance on someone and have a relationship in whatever form it takes lol

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Love like everything thing else in life takes effort. And even on finding love, it isn't always hearts and flowers either.

You do have to put yourself out there, date, interact, be open to love. Believe in it and drop your guard. Sometimes that means you risk getting hurt.

Its a decision for some. For others I guess they are lucky, it does just happen.

"

Drop what guard? I live my life accepting the full range of emotions we experience and being heart broken is one of them, it's normal.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months.

do what they did then? they had their kids pretty fast also. having kids can force a relationship also. and i don't mean in a shot gun way but it gives people something to create and look forward to together and bonds form that way.

but there's your answer, you have several recent examples of how people made relationships happen online, follow them.

That still makes no sense. All online dating is, is increasing your chances of meeting more people. It still doesn't explain how some choose to have a relationship or not."

totally misunderstood your topic and thought you were seeking a relationship yourself, sorry.

for me, i wanted that person to stay in my life. spending a lot of time with them was important to me also. and we both wanted the relationship so it 'happened'. i never sought out a relationship though, they just happened.

with my last ex i was looking for a relationship and met him and then the same as above happened. i wanted certain things and knew if someone met my criteria or surpassed it i would consider them for a relationship.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"Love don't live here anymore "

I'm with you lol

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy.

bet they met 10 yrs ago when there wasn't as much choice.

Most recent was about a year ago and it's happened for my daughter and three of her friends (all in their 30's and 40's) in the last 18 months.

do what they did then? they had their kids pretty fast also. having kids can force a relationship also. and i don't mean in a shot gun way but it gives people something to create and look forward to together and bonds form that way.

but there's your answer, you have several recent examples of how people made relationships happen online, follow them.

That still makes no sense. All online dating is, is increasing your chances of meeting more people. It still doesn't explain how some choose to have a relationship or not.

You answered your own question......it's a choice, to seek a relationship and or to take a chance on someone and have a relationship in whatever form it takes lol "

No, I meet men from online sites (well, I don't anymore because I'm way past the 50 cut off for all but old men) it increases my chances of finding someone I may have an attraction to, but I stil, don't see that as actively seeking out someone, I meet new people every day that I may have an attraction to.

The opposite could be true but that would mean choosing to never meeting anyone, ever and living in a cave and that's impossible.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"Love like everything thing else in life takes effort. And even on finding love, it isn't always hearts and flowers either.

You do have to put yourself out there, date, interact, be open to love. Believe in it and drop your guard. Sometimes that means you risk getting hurt.

Its a decision for some. For others I guess they are lucky, it does just happen.

Drop what guard? I live my life accepting the full range of emotions we experience and being heart broken is one of them, it's normal.

"

Might be normal for you, but being broken hearted isn't always something everyone is willing to accept.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Love like everything thing else in life takes effort. And even on finding love, it isn't always hearts and flowers either.

You do have to put yourself out there, date, interact, be open to love. Believe in it and drop your guard. Sometimes that means you risk getting hurt.

Its a decision for some. For others I guess they are lucky, it does just happen.

Drop what guard? I live my life accepting the full range of emotions we experience and being heart broken is one of them, it's normal.

Might be normal for you, but being broken hearted isn't always something everyone is willing to accept. "

But that means never allowing yourself to love or be loved and I think that is a terrible life to live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last thing on my mind was falling in love. I never ever expected it happening. But it did, and hit me with an overwhelming force that I couldn't deny.

But, it broke out hearts as we couldn't be together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't look for it and it just came into my life. Sometimes that's the best thing to do

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will someone just start an actual looking for love thread so I can join it already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one should look for love. You should let love find you. If it's meant to be it will happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one should look for love. You should let love find you. If it's meant to be it will happen."
lovely spoken could not put it better my self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out. "

Please expand...

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Will someone just start an actual looking for love thread so I can join it already "

You do it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/342279

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/342279"

Thanks, that makes for an interesting read FAB.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will someone just start an actual looking for love thread so I can join it already

You do it! "

No one likes me lol. It won't work

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"Will someone just start an actual looking for love thread so I can join it already

You do it!

No one likes me lol. It won't work"

i will do one but it'll be silly or nobody will take it seriously anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out.

Please expand..."

I'm not sure how to expand on this. I don't know how to go about finding a match for myself and feel like I'm crap at it. So I'm sitting here waiting. I have a recurring dream I fall in love at first sight at a petrol station

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By *ornyminx13Woman
over a year ago

lurgan

I want guys to make love to me not fall in love with me..... men seem to fall in love easier than women

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"No one should look for love. You should let love find you. If it's meant to be it will happen."

I don't agree.

I have two single wome friends, they frequently complain that although they would like a relationship there are no eligible men. The problem is they aren't looking, they're doing the same things with the same people.

Sometimes if you want something, you have to go out and look for it.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

done the topic if anyone cares.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one should look for love. You should let love find you. If it's meant to be it will happen.

I don't agree.

I have two single wome friends, they frequently complain that although they would like a relationship there are no eligible men. The problem is they aren't looking, they're doing the same things with the same people.

Sometimes if you want something, you have to go out and look for it."

Oh I'm in totally agreement that you have to go out and meet people, socialise, but not go out looking for love. You should look for people that appeal to you, spend time with them and then let nature take its course, if love develops then all well and good, but if people are going out hoping to fall in love at the first glance, then I fear people will be disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does that actually happen? Surely, in the course of meeting people, you unexpectedly find someone you click with and then act upon it or not.

I see people commenting all the time that they are or are not seeking it out but I just don't understand the practicalities of that.

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?"

Your first paragraph answers your last sentence.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think you can seek it by preparing yourself and putting yourself out there. But it's more of an openness to the type of person you'd match with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does that actually happen? Surely, in the course of meeting people, you unexpectedly find someone you click with and then act upon it or not.

I see people commenting all the time that they are or are not seeking it out but I just don't understand the practicalities of that.

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?

happened to me last June.. fabber persisted with me and luckily he fel the same.. we are making plans for the future.. I'm on here for the tips and banter!!!

Did he do that because he felt that attract when you met or was it something you both realised as time went on?"

Instant attraction and connection.. hasn't lessened with time and we are 51 and 55.. both thought it would never happen again..

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife


"I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out.

That's what I don't get, how is it possible to seek it out?"

it takes you by surprise and happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn't that why its called "Falling in love", because it takes you by surprise, then POW, love?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/17 06:46:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people say they are in lurv in every relationship they have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No one should look for love. You should let love find you. If it's meant to be it will happen.

I don't agree.

I have two single wome friends, they frequently complain that although they would like a relationship there are no eligible men. The problem is they aren't looking, they're doing the same things with the same people.

Sometimes if you want something, you have to go out and look for it."

Absolutely agree. Why shouldn't you look for it if it's not happening. Not all of us are so lucky that love comes Knocking so some have to search for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for."

I don't think it's a choice. It either happens and it doesn't. You can't force it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for.

I don't think it's a choice. It either happens and it doesn't. You can't force it."

Absolutely disagree see my earlier post. If you know what you are looking for and you search for it you may well find it. Love doesn't always happen when you're not looking for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for.

I don't think it's a choice. It either happens and it doesn't. You can't force it.

Absolutely disagree see my earlier post. If you know what you are looking for and you search for it you may well find it. Love doesn't always happen when you're not looking for it. "

That hasn't been my experience....the more you search, the less you find in my view....I prefer to let things happen naturally but each to his/her own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for.

I don't think it's a choice. It either happens and it doesn't. You can't force it.

Absolutely disagree see my earlier post. If you know what you are looking for and you search for it you may well find it. Love doesn't always happen when you're not looking for it.

That hasn't been my experience....the more you search, the less you find in my view....I prefer to let things happen naturally but each to his/her own"

Sorry to hear and for some maybe this is the case but not everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely it just happens by chance. Nobody sets out to find someone to love. Just smacks of insecurity to me.

That's what I believe so I'm trying to understand the practicalities of how people choose who to have feelings for.

I don't think it's a choice. It either happens and it doesn't. You can't force it.

Absolutely disagree see my earlier post. If you know what you are looking for and you search for it you may well find it. Love doesn't always happen when you're not looking for it.

That hasn't been my experience....the more you search, the less you find in my view....I prefer to let things happen naturally but each to his/her own

Sorry to hear and for some maybe this is the case but not everyone. "

Indeed, we are all different with varied experience and expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if you are actively looking for it you are more likely to find it.. even if it isn't there

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I think if you are actively looking for it you are more likely to find it.. even if it isn't there"

What are the practicalities of looking for it, other than being around people?

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

We met online. Became casual play partners and very soon graduated to being deeply in love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can look for it. It Doesn't mean you'll find it.

Let's say I have 100 dates, I still might not fall in love. I might fall for someone unexpectedly though, and find love in an unusual place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love happens when you least expect it. Yes you can meet up with people, that's being proactive, but you can't physically find love. It's a natural process, that happens naturally. It can't be forced or that is fake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you are actively looking for it you are more likely to find it.. even if it isn't there

What are the practicalities of looking for it, other than being around people?"

Umm maybe rushing things would be one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think if you are actively looking for it you are more likely to find it.. even if it isn't there

What are the practicalities of looking for it, other than being around people?"

Go on dating sites.. Inform friend and work colleagues you are looking and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love happens when you least expect it. Yes you can meet up with people, that's being proactive, but you can't physically find love. It's a natural process, that happens naturally. It can't be forced or that is fake."

Totally disagree. See my earlier post. Seems to me that those who found it When they weren't searching have this opinion.

For all those who still haven't found it.. What are they meant to do? Pray for it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love happens when you least expect it. Yes you can meet up with people, that's being proactive, but you can't physically find love. It's a natural process, that happens naturally. It can't be forced or that is fake.

Totally disagree. See my earlier post. Seems to me that those who found it When they weren't searching have this opinion.

For all those who still haven't found it.. What are they meant to do? Pray for it? "

Play the waiting game

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does that actually happen? Surely, in the course of meeting people, you unexpectedly find someone you click with and then act upon it or not.

I see people commenting all the time that they are or are not seeking it out but I just don't understand the practicalities of that.

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?

"

It hits you like a tonne of bricks! Or it creeps slowly into your consciousness...

I wasn't looking for love, just good sex, but I was open to the possibility, I think that is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The heart wants what it can't have ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more people you meet and the more social you are, i think your chances of meeting someone you could fall in love with skyrocket.

As my mum says, you won't meet anyone sat indoors (although obviously she's not seen my POF account).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The heart wants what it can't have ... "

Do elaborate? We talking unrequited love? Or a married woman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive always found better more meaningful relationships come from meeting someone when you dont really expect to ?

Like doing a hobby like attending a class or swimming or going to the gym etc.

You get chatting to people you see regular and build up a relationship of sorts then sometime you meet someone and you both just really really like each other and end up looking forward to your usual activities not just because you enjoy them but because you are also looking forward to seeing that certain person again.

Those are the best types of ways Ive met people before.

Dating sites seem to be a bit more staged and a bit cold like catalogue shopping.

Thats my own view on it from my experience

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I think if you are actively looking for it you are more likely to find it.. even if it isn't there

What are the practicalities of looking for it, other than being around people?"

Being open to possibilities, taking chances, and being emotionally open - available.

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By *opsy Rogers OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

Thanks for everyone's input, it's appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Heart breaking stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's worse falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Heart breaking stuff "

I have never fallen for anyone who doesnt love me back. How on earth does that work? Unrequited love? but surely you cant fall for someone who doesnt love you? Unless you have been in love and one of you decides to call it a day. I understand that part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's worse falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Heart breaking stuff

I have never fallen for anyone who doesnt love me back. How on earth does that work? Unrequited love? but surely you cant fall for someone who doesnt love you? Unless you have been in love and one of you decides to call it a day. I understand that part."

You can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's worse falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Heart breaking stuff

I have never fallen for anyone who doesnt love me back. How on earth does that work? Unrequited love? but surely you cant fall for someone who doesnt love you? Unless you have been in love and one of you decides to call it a day. I understand that part.

You can. "

So what you're saying is you can only love someone if they fall in love with you at exactly the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's worse falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Heart breaking stuff

I have never fallen for anyone who doesnt love me back. How on earth does that work? Unrequited love? but surely you cant fall for someone who doesnt love you? Unless you have been in love and one of you decides to call it a day. I understand that part.

You can.

So what you're saying is you can only love someone if they fall in love with you at exactly the same time. "

I cant fall in love with someone who doesnt show that he loves me back .. i wouldnt want to get hurt .. so i dont fall in love. Simple really .. well for me it is .. not sure about others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/03/17 14:31:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The heart wants what it can't have ...

Do elaborate? We talking unrequited love? Or a married woman?"

In a nutshell... when you get what you want you will always end up wanting more... or something else

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Personally i would love to be in love again but i pretty much avoid dating as i like having fun with men but would only date women and frankly most women would not accept the Lilly side of my life. So my choice is between giving up something that has always been a part of me or waiting and hoping i find that needle in a haystack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've waited a long time for it to happen. It hasnt.

But I refuse to seek it out. "

I'd imagine that's why you haven't found it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more you look ,the harder it is to find ...

And when you stop looking and probably someone that's not your type ...Boom there it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing."

Is there any stats behind that?? I would imagine that nowadays the majority of relationships are forged on line x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's worse falling in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Heart breaking stuff

I have never fallen for anyone who doesnt love me back. How on earth does that work? Unrequited love? but surely you cant fall for someone who doesnt love you? Unless you have been in love and one of you decides to call it a day. I understand that part.

You can.

So what you're saying is you can only love someone if they fall in love with you at exactly the same time.

I cant fall in love with someone who doesnt show that he loves me back .. i wouldnt want to get hurt .. so i dont fall in love. Simple really .. well for me it is .. not sure about others."

Yes, we're all different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive always found better more meaningful relationships come from meeting someone when you dont really expect to ?

Like doing a hobby like attending a class or swimming or going to the gym etc.

You get chatting to people you see regular and build up a relationship of sorts then sometime you meet someone and you both just really really like each other and end up looking forward to your usual activities not just because you enjoy them but because you are also looking forward to seeing that certain person again.

Those are the best types of ways Ive met people before.

Dating sites seem to be a bit more staged and a bit cold like catalogue shopping.

Thats my own view on it from my experience "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing."

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

"

I wouldn't be too certain of that... I have created some great connections online.... If I wasn't committed they could have easily flourished I think xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I wouldn't be too certain of that... I have created some great connections online.... If I wasn't committed they could have easily flourished I think xx"

My opinion is most even if connection and sex is good. Move on as they want better ,but I think seeing same friend it gets better and more naughty. A lot want to meet randoms so they don't get feelings. But randoms is always cold sex,in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the majority of respondents on this thread are missing out because they are emotionally closed to it.

You have to be open to the possibility x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm not looking for love, I'm looking for awesome people I have amazing sex with.... if it followed naturally, well, I wouldn't argue

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I wouldn't be too certain of that... I have created some great connections online.... If I wasn't committed they could have easily flourished I think xx"

i think it's because you're committed (and therefore not seen as possible relationship material) is why they've flourished.

my best sex and most regular/connected meets were with attached guys. everyone else seems flakey and to have a low sex drive and i do wonder if it's coz they're scared we'll get attached to them...they spoil it for themselves really coz i want more sex, they don't wanna give it me, i move onto someone else who seems more promising...same cycle begins. i've stopped meeting now.

seriously thinking about getting with married only guys who are very local to me so i can have all the sex i need. there are a few, some i used to see a lot but my morals said i shouldn't.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"The heart wants what it can't have ... "

Isn't that the truth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want guys to make love to me not fall in love with me..... men seem to fall in love easier than women"

Not in my experience.

Personally I would never look for love or a relationship, and the two are not synonymous.

Love happens when it happens, you either clique or you don't. Yes, you can grow to love someone, but that's not the same as being in love.

Two people can have a great relationship, great sex and have love for each other, but not be in love with each other.

I have been in love and I have also been in the situation above, but I had a very clear definition of the two and didn't confuse one with the other. But in both cases I didn't go looking for the end result. They just happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want guys to make love to me not fall in love with me..... men seem to fall in love easier than women

Not in my experience.

Personally I would never look for love or a relationship, and the two are not synonymous.

Love happens when it happens, you either clique or you don't. Yes, you can grow to love someone, but that's not the same as being in love.

Two people can have a great relationship, great sex and have love for each other, but not be in love with each other.

I have been in love and I have also been in the situation above, but I had a very clear definition of the two and didn't confuse one with the other. But in both cases I didn't go looking for the end result. They just happened.

"

I think lots of people in relationships arnt actually in love but love each other for lots of different reasons.

I think if you havent been in love then you wouldnt actually know if you was in love or just loved someone ?

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I wouldn't be too certain of that... I have created some great connections online.... If I wasn't committed they could have easily flourished I think xx

i think it's because you're committed (and therefore not seen as possible relationship material) is why they've flourished.

my best sex and most regular/connected meets were with attached guys. everyone else seems flakey and to have a low sex drive and i do wonder if it's coz they're scared we'll get attached to them...they spoil it for themselves really coz i want more sex, they don't wanna give it me, i move onto someone else who seems more promising...same cycle begins. i've stopped meeting now.

seriously thinking about getting with married only guys who are very local to me so i can have all the sex i need. there are a few, some i used to see a lot but my morals said i shouldn't."

Yeah you're probably right but also maybe it depends on the type of meet too I guess.

The few I have spent the night with have been very attached to me by the time we parted which wasn't what i'd expect....having to face me in the morning as a TV etc lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

How is it possible to actually choose someone to have a relationship with?"

I think it's easier now with all the different dating apps/sites.

I met my Ex on Tinder...I wanted her...but it took her AGES to decide that I was someone she wanted a relationship with...it wasn't a case of "pick & choose".

I wanted her but I had to work for it and she MADE me work for it aswell.

When it comes to relationships, I think the foundations have to already exist sub-consciously and you can't choose that.

You can choose what you want "Physically" and "personality" yeah.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I wouldn't be too certain of that... I have created some great connections online.... If I wasn't committed they could have easily flourished I think xx

i think it's because you're committed (and therefore not seen as possible relationship material) is why they've flourished.

my best sex and most regular/connected meets were with attached guys. everyone else seems flakey and to have a low sex drive and i do wonder if it's coz they're scared we'll get attached to them...they spoil it for themselves really coz i want more sex, they don't wanna give it me, i move onto someone else who seems more promising...same cycle begins. i've stopped meeting now.

seriously thinking about getting with married only guys who are very local to me so i can have all the sex i need. there are a few, some i used to see a lot but my morals said i shouldn't.

Yeah you're probably right but also maybe it depends on the type of meet too I guess.

The few I have spent the night with have been very attached to me by the time we parted which wasn't what i'd expect....having to face me in the morning as a TV etc lol."

i'm not you but that's my experience on here really, that a lot of guys remain emotionally flat/distant. it's rare a guy even wants to be friends or do stuff that normal people do. when they're attached they tend to be more friendly, relaxed, and put more effort in for me. and the more regular sex is good also.

i've gone back to other ways of meeting guys now that i had before i joined here and it's a lot more enjoyable.

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife


"Some people say they are in lurv in every relationship they have "
everyone's idea of love different,what do you think love means?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"won't happen online, or rarely will.

everybody is seeking the next, more better, thing.

I have loads of friends who met online are are married, together or have children and are extremely happy."

Same here!

Ruby

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