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Chuck norris

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Chucks daughter lost her virginity.

Chuck got it back

Insert chuck norris jokes here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha Chuck Norris wish he was on here

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to live the quirky thing Google used to do.

If you tired "Chuck Norris" in the search bar, and clicked "i feel lucky", you'd get one hit stating:

You don't find Chuck Norris.

He finds you.

Used to think that was awesome

Sky they've removed it now, along with the French foreign military victory search too

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Chuck Norris does not flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

CHUCK NORRIS FOUND DEAD !!!

but he's ok now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number,you answer the wrong phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chuck Norris does not flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it! "

Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris will never have a heart attack, his heart isnt silly enough to attack him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris knows Victoriam's secret

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's my favourite. - Chuck Norris can pick an orange from an apple tree and squeeze it to make lemonade.

And. He can hide behind a sheet of glass.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorn.

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris doesnt breathe air, he holds air hostage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death once had a near chuck experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't do press ups. He pushes the Earth down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris"

Haha love it

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.

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By *isexhotcoupleCouple
over a year ago

london

Chuck Norris grinds coffee with his teeth and boils it with his Rage!!!

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.

If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits.

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By *isexhotcoupleCouple
over a year ago

london

When alexander graham bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chuck Norris grinds coffee with his teeth and boils it with his Rage!!! "

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.

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By *isexhotcoupleCouple
over a year ago

london

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table, cos the only element he believes in is the element of surprise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Chuck Norris was born,he drove his mother home from the hospital

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When Chuck Norris was born,he drove his mother home from the hospital"

Hahaha

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

[Removed by poster at 16/03/17 16:57:16]

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Chuck Norris once pissed in the gas tank of a truck.

That truck is now Optimus Prime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table, cos the only element he believes in is the element of surprise!"

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Chuck Norris can punch you in your feelings

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his living room. The bear isn't dead it's just too scared to move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hahaha some crackers on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Chuck norris can rip a page out of facebook

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris but they had to change it....no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

My favourite was always. Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Chuck Norris once made a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

Chuck Norris has tears that can cure cancer, too bad he has never cried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't move when he walks, the earth rotates.

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Chuck Norris was born May 6th 1945, the Nazi's surrendered May 7th 1945....coincidence?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer.

It's a pity he never crys

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

Chuck Norris eats After Eights at 7:30.

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

Chuck norris goes in the sea, he doesn't get wet, the sea gets chuck norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris died five years ago,but Death is too scared to tell him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah but can chuck norris eat 3 shredded wheat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can't really travel faster than the speed of light. The light just kind of slows down and pulls over to let Chuck through.

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury


"Yeah but can chuck norris eat 3 shredded wheat?"

He doesn't eat anything....he simply vaporises it with a glance

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By *ichael McCarthyMan
over a year ago

Lucan

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

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By *mber GamblerCouple
over a year ago

rugby


"I used to live the quirky thing Google used to do.

If you tired "Chuck Norris" in the search bar, and clicked "i feel lucky", you'd get one hit stating:

You don't find Chuck Norris.

He finds you.

Used to think that was awesome

Sky they've removed it now, along with the French foreign military victory search too "

I remember that!. That was so funny.

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By *al2001Man
over a year ago

kildare

This is the only time in a long time I've opened a thread named after an aging celebrity and have been sure it wasn't an RIP thread. It's just not possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some crackers here!

Nice guy...he knows not to mess though!

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

Chuck Norris doesn't have sex.....no one fucks with Chuck

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