FabSwingers.com forum: Message system too tricky to use

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stop chatting when I get bored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/03/17 20:14:09]

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they stop replying it means they aren't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in and out of here like a yoyo and assume others are too. Life outside of Fab always comes first so I get used to conversations with long pauses in them.

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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago

somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either."

Plus if you get a lot of messages they get pushed down the page and don't show anymore until you've sorted through them and deleted...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I be the first sarcastic git on this thread to ask....

What is a message??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either."

Get back to your real life please....

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times."
There is Use the filters.

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

"Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?"
It's called being ghosted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply = Not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my kids were also running round at the pub and demanded my attention then yes I'd stop talking to go see to them.

When you are messaging on here or kik life keeps going on around you, there aren't many people who have the luxury of sitting in a quiet room to hold a conversation on here, they are multitasking and just sometimes, stuff happens that makes you forget you were talking to stranger on the Internet.

Either that or they just had no polite answer to whatever question you had asked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times."

I just wish i could mail you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times."

Block men from messaging you - job done

OP I think life gets in the way and messages get pushed to the bottom of the page or people arent interested anymore x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times.

Block men from messaging you - job done

OP I think life gets in the way and messages get pushed to the bottom of the page or people arent interested anymore x"

No no no. ...we're all too thick to understand those pesky messages. They're beyond my tiny little brain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times.

Block men from messaging you - job done

OP I think life gets in the way and messages get pushed to the bottom of the page or people arent interested anymore x"

Seems mean but i guess it give me a breather without having to keep hiding my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times.

Block men from messaging you - job done

OP I think life gets in the way and messages get pushed to the bottom of the page or people arent interested anymore x

Seems mean but i guess it give me a breather without having to keep hiding my profile.

Filters are great, however the one of no public pictures is the biggest waste of time, just filter all from messaging you. People that have previously messaged can still message though as can your friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times.

Block men from messaging you - job done

OP I think life gets in the way and messages get pushed to the bottom of the page or people arent interested anymore x

Seems mean but i guess it give me a breather without having to keep hiding my profile.

But why not just hide it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either.

Get back to your real life please....

Oh but Fab is so much more fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind."

Same could be said if you plan your evening around waiting for a reply!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When someone has cuckoo moment, we just simply delete all received and sent texts and move on.

When it comes to basic social skills, it's really not tricky just to say you'll catch with them if you decide to etc..

Anyone struggling with such basics are welcome to send the message they've received and wish to decline but find it too tricky to give a basic reply.

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

Same could be said if you plan your evening around waiting for a reply! "
But their emotions have been messed with

you would think at a certain age you would mature and realise how the game works but obviously not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages aren't like a conversation in a pub or a phone call, they are more like emails. I reply when it's convenient, same as I expect from others. There may be a few times when not receiving an immediate reply is annoying, but those are a minority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

Same could be said if you plan your evening around waiting for a reply! But their emotions have been messed with

you would think at a certain age you would mature and realise how the game works but obviously not."

I didn't realise people held messaging on fab so highly. I don't even reply immediately to texts from my mother. ..it's sometimes the next day. I'm glad she's a bit more understanding that other things in life sometimes take precedence!

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

Same could be said if you plan your evening around waiting for a reply! But their emotions have been messed with

you would think at a certain age you would mature and realise how the game works but obviously not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish there was a button that could stop people sending you mail without having to hide your profile sometimes.

Make life so much less hassle on here at times.

Block men from messaging you - job done

OP I think life gets in the way and messages get pushed to the bottom of the page or people arent interested anymore x

Seems mean but i guess it give me a breather without having to keep hiding my profile.

Thanks Sexybrunette i wasn't aware of that and have been swamped non stop 700+ a day and its flattering but just too much to shift through and no fun anymore.

At last i can take back control and once again thank you you little diamond. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to report a guy for sending me abuse for this exact same thing.

I stay logged in on my Internet browser on my phone just I'm lazy and can't be bothered to keep logging in an out so sometimes I show online when I'm not.

People have lives out side of the Internet you can't expect someone to sit glued to their phone just because you're in the middle of a conversation with them.

Would you expect the same if it was a text or WhatsApp conversation or would you appreciate that people have things to do?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

Same could be said if you plan your evening around waiting for a reply! But their emotions have been messed with

you would think at a certain age you would mature and realise how the game works but obviously not.

Sex is a serious business, apparently.

I sometimes don't reply to messages for days, when I can be arsed to sift through my inbox. If I was then deleted mid chat I would be fine. Flouncing is not attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind."

I live with my family, if I'm mid-messaging and my family member wants me, then I'm afraid they do come first above strangers on a website. That may seem strange but that's how I operate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

I live with my family, if I'm mid-messaging and my family member wants me, then I'm afraid they do come first above strangers on a website. That may seem strange but that's how I operate."

Jeez your proper odd... Family first what is wrong with you lol......

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"When we're not interested, we have the ability to say so, seven if, "Thank you, we'll have a think about that and we might get back in touch".

Not rocket science is it !!!!

Just imagine you're chatting with someone in the pub, they suddenly stop and walk out. Cuckoo springs to mind.

Same could be said if you plan your evening around waiting for a reply! But their emotions have been messed with

you would think at a certain age you would mature and realise how the game works but obviously not.

Sex is a serious business, apparently.

I sometimes don't reply to messages for days, when I can be arsed to sift through my inbox. If I was then deleted mid chat I would be fine. Flouncing is not attractive."

Even if you've got fabulous hair that does the swishy and bouncy thing when you flounce?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if you've got fabulous hair that does the swishy and bouncy thing when you flounce? "

"Because I'm worth it! "

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Even if you've got fabulous hair that does the swishy and bouncy thing when you flounce?

"Because I'm worth it! "

Thank you so much for replying to my post in this here pub. I appreciate your attention but realise that you may need to disengage without informing me.

Does that cover it?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either."

My phone is usually logged on 24/7 almost, most of the time its in the house & i'm in the workshop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i stop talking i'm bored of the conversation... surely they dont want an explanation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Messages aren't like a conversation in a pub or a phone call, they are more like emails. I reply when it's convenient, same as I expect from others. There may be a few times when not receiving an immediate reply is annoying, but those are a minority. "

Communication is communication. Letter, e-mail, talk, drawn in sand; communication is communication. There are plenty of books on the subject. Doesn't matter by what means you use, if you abruptly stop communicating, you've simply stopped conversing. If you don't give a reason, what will the other party think of the other party? Not tricky is it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either.

My phone is usually logged on 24/7 almost, most of the time its in the house & i'm in the workshop.

Yes, what we do is say, "We'll catch up later in the evening/tomorrow" etc..

Did you see how easy that was?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" If you don't give a reason, what will the other party think of the other party? "

If you're not interested why would your party care what the other party think?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If i stop talking i'm bored of the conversation... surely they dont want an explanation"

Depends if you think people have a crystal ball or not. We know they don't so a polite let down is a mature direction to take, is it not?

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?"
People are just ignorant that's all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" If you don't give a reason, what will the other party think of the other party?

If you're not interested why would your party care what the other party think?

Decency !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?People are just ignorant that's all"

I think you summed it really well in one simple line.

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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago

somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen

I'll often just stop communicating if the sender becomes aggressive or patronising. I don't feel guilty about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll often just stop communicating if the sender becomes aggressive or patronising. I don't feel guilty about that. "

Patronising?

Don't worry your little head about that poppet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" If you don't give a reason, what will the other party think of the other party?

If you're not interested why would your party care what the other party think?

Decency !!

I'm here for indecency though

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"How could a basic message system be made easier to use?"

I don't think it needs to be, most of us have worked out how to use it.

Keep at it OP, you'll get there

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"If i stop talking i'm bored of the conversation... surely they dont want an explanation

Depends if you think people have a crystal ball or not. We know they don't so a polite let down is a mature direction to take, is it not?"

Has anyone quoted the FAQs yet?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If i stop talking i'm bored of the conversation... surely they dont want an explanation

Depends if you think people have a crystal ball or not. We know they don't so a polite let down is a mature direction to take, is it not?

Has anyone quoted the FAQs yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do most of my chatting in work not the pub

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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago

somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen

"I'll often just stop communicating if the sender becomes aggressive or patronising. I don't feel guilty about that.

Patronising?

Don't worry your little head about that poppet.

That's fighting talk where I come from.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do most of my chatting in work not the pub"

You need to work on your "Work" "Leisure" ratio.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would not know because i do not get any messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do most of my chatting in work not the pub

You need to work on your "Work" "Leisure" ratio."

Nah, i i like to get a good 3-4 hours slacking in per shift

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If i stop talking i'm bored of the conversation... surely they dont want an explanation

Depends if you think people have a crystal ball or not. We know they don't so a polite let down is a mature direction to take, is it not?

Has anyone quoted the FAQs yet?

Yes, the FAQ's requires updating to include such words as communication, decency, maturity etc..

If someone gets abusive, just advise them so and then block them.

If you're bored, just say if it's something you become interested in, you'll catch up with them.

If arranging a date is currently difficult, then just say so and if you get time, you'll catch up with them.

Or simply go down silence path that the FAQ's recommend !! Classic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You come across as aggressive and pushy.

It's not tricky to say "sorry not interested after all".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You come across as aggressive and pushy.

It's not tricky to say "sorry not interested after all". "

Or sorry you're not my/our type

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By *aroleBaskinWoman
over a year ago

somewhere down the rabbit hole, Aberdeen

I can't actually remember any proper conversation I've had with anyone on here being abrupty cut off for no reason (other than maybe a couple of Unlos accounts) if it became an issue for me I think the first thing I'd do would be re-evaluate the types of profiles I was communicating with and perhaps reflect on my messaging style.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe some people just desert a conversation on here to avoid another's abrasive 'but why?' attitude? Daresay that I have a few times.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Or simply go down silence path that the FAQ's recommend !! Classic.

Yep, it works great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op just out if curiosity how long do you spend on fab daily?

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By *ySweetLadyWoman
over a year ago

London

"I have real life to contend with too. Just because it says I'm online it doesn't mean I am either.

Plus if you get a lot of messages they get pushed down the page and don't show anymore until you've sorted through them and deleted..."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When someone has cuckoo moment, we just simply delete all received and sent texts and move on.

When it comes to basic social skills, it's really not tricky just to say you'll catch with them if you decide to etc..

Anyone struggling with such basics are welcome to send the message they've received and wish to decline but find it too tricky to give a basic reply."

So you just delete and move on and thats fine but when others do it it must be because they're too dim or rude?

Could be they just think you're cuckoo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they have a life and children and better things to do

Maybe they just can't bear the condescending tone and references to messaging etiquette which has clearly suddenly somehow transposed from the Victorian rule books to fab swingers.

Cant blame them either way

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?"

Maybe, just maybe, this is a casual sex site and people use it how they like, in their own time, and don't need to fit in your perceived rules of etiquette.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saying communication is communication is rather simplistic. I treat different forms of communication differently. Very few things are that black and white.

However, if someone just stopped communicating with me altogether? No, it isn't tricky at all - it means they aren't interested. Simple, indeed. Personally, I send a message to tell people when I'm not interested, but I'm not confused/annoyed/angry when others don't.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

For the love of Mike!

I have grandchildren still in nappies, less needy than some people on here. Perhaps if less time was spent on line trying to engage with strangers, and more time interacting with family, friends, meeting people out and about, there'd be less ire and angst!

Blimey, it can be days before I hear from my children and I don't fret let alone strangers!

Get a grip!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the love of Mike!

Blimey, it can be days before I hear from my children and I don't fret let alone strangers!

Get a grip!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?"

But we aren't in a pub are we? Rules of o line engagement are very different from face to face.

Perhaps the problem isn't with the users who choose to message when it's convenient to them, rather it is with the ones who have a sense of entitlement the everyone muse message them the second they log on other wise they are labelled rude.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"For the love of Mike!

Blimey, it can be days before I hear from my children and I don't fret let alone strangers!

Get a grip!

.... Sooooo many thumbs up!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do many members struggle with the message system?

Imagine you're in a pub chatting to someone, do you suddenly stop talking to them?

Do you chat to someone then suddenly stop but you still log in but don't read the last message, it goes unread?

We would never assume that they must feel they're above others or that they may have mentally challenging issues, we just assume the message system is too complicated for them to use.

How could a basic message system be made easier to use?"

Have you considered that people stop messaging you because they realise that they have no interest in meeting you and don't feel the need to engage with you further?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP considering that a few days ago you were telling people ho the site need a system to rate users reliability, your disdain for other site users across multiple threads and that you are now moaning about the message system and FAQS not meeting your expectations, have you considered that this isn't perhaps the best site for you?

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

[Removed by poster at 16/03/17 10:28:58]

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

[Removed by poster at 16/03/17 10:31:33]

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

"I'll often just stop communicating if the sender becomes aggressive or patronising. I don't feel guilty about that. "

I think you've hit the nail on the head here!

Op, we all get frustrated sometimes when people don't follow the etiquette of communication on here, as in the real world. Assuming that someone is loopy or unintelligent, because they appear not to be able to handle technology is a fallacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use our phones so it's just easier to stay connected so that's why it's says we're online constantly

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