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"If you're single past a certain age then there must be something wrong with you. Discuss..." depends if it's through choice or not | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... " those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. | |||
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"If you're single past a certain age then there must be something wrong with you. Discuss..." You mean 30 actually means 40 I bet ?? | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse." Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. | |||
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"I choose to be single, a lot of people dont get that, some people have that need to be with somebody, some don't, i know a few people who just can't be single as soon as one relationship ends they are actively on the look for a new partner, and thats fine but i just don't get why some people don't get not everybody has that need to be in a relationship " I have tended to have a 3 yr break inbetween relationships (not intentionally), I'm on yr 4 now so look out ladies | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. " you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up. | |||
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"I choose to be single, a lot of people dont get that, some people have that need to be with somebody, some don't, i know a few people who just can't be single as soon as one relationship ends they are actively on the look for a new partner, and thats fine but i just don't get why some people don't get not everybody has that need to be in a relationship " | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up." | |||
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" Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. " Same situation here | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up." Another thing is I've been on my own so long I don't know how someone would fit in my life. I know I want a guy but think it's too much to ask of someone, I want them to be totally exclusive to me but only see them on weekends! | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up. Another thing is I've been on my own so long I don't know how someone would fit in my life. I know I want a guy but think it's too much to ask of someone, I want them to be totally exclusive to me but only see them on weekends! " you could find someone like that probably. a long distance relationship sounds ideal tbh. | |||
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"I choose to be single, a lot of people dont get that, some people have that need to be with somebody, some don't, i know a few people who just can't be single as soon as one relationship ends they are actively on the look for a new partner, and thats fine but i just don't get why some people don't get not everybody has that need to be in a relationship " | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up. Another thing is I've been on my own so long I don't know how someone would fit in my life. I know I want a guy but think it's too much to ask of someone, I want them to be totally exclusive to me but only see them on weekends! " | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up. Another thing is I've been on my own so long I don't know how someone would fit in my life. I know I want a guy but think it's too much to ask of someone, I want them to be totally exclusive to me but only see them on weekends! " That's fucked up half the males on here then Single claimed however more than likely not ?? | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up. Another thing is I've been on my own so long I don't know how someone would fit in my life. I know I want a guy but think it's too much to ask of someone, I want them to be totally exclusive to me but only see them on weekends! you could find someone like that probably. a long distance relationship sounds ideal tbh." I did long distance a few years back with a guy I met off here end of 2011, was sort of seeing him got around 18 months but he was younger than me and when he wasn't down here or me up there he was always out partying. Even though he'd ring me after a night out he'd be at house parties and if hear birds in the background and I used to kick off. Long distance with someone older or my age who I knew was past all that phase of house parties and clubbing, maybe that would suit. I dunno, I just think it's hard to meet people in this technological age. Wish single guys would wear some sort of badge that's says "available!" | |||
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"I have a mild personality disorder at the most but I'm fine with it " One of you is handsome | |||
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"I have a mild personality disorder at the most but I'm fine with it One of you is handsome " He says thanks and he likes your breasts | |||
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"my god!!! i must be damaged goods...... those were the words i was looking for. i actually am damaged, and more people are adding to that. so yeah fuck this bullshit. i'd rather repair myself, by myself, than take any of the crap offered to me that will make me worse. Kind of why I'm still single. When I split with my child's father after 9 years together I was only interested in bringing up my new baby and being a first time mum. Life and other things got in the way, few trials and tribulations and complications. Need to be happy in myself before having another person around me. you have your priorities right, that has to count for something. so we're not really that bad, at least we recognise our faults and are trying to fix them too. also, nobody is perfect. if they were nobody would be fucked up. Another thing is I've been on my own so long I don't know how someone would fit in my life. I know I want a guy but think it's too much to ask of someone, I want them to be totally exclusive to me but only see them on weekends! you could find someone like that probably. a long distance relationship sounds ideal tbh. I did long distance a few years back with a guy I met off here end of 2011, was sort of seeing him got around 18 months but he was younger than me and when he wasn't down here or me up there he was always out partying. Even though he'd ring me after a night out he'd be at house parties and if hear birds in the background and I used to kick off. Long distance with someone older or my age who I knew was past all that phase of house parties and clubbing, maybe that would suit. I dunno, I just think it's hard to meet people in this technological age. Wish single guys would wear some sort of badge that's says "available!" " yeah you need a lot of trust for LDR really. maybe work on that? although i find you need other people to prove they're trustworthy for to work on that, so you can prove to yourself you're making the right choices in who you trust. | |||
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"If only there was a place for all of us to hang out together? " My bedrooms free and I have a large bed | |||
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"I bite the heads off lovers after sex.... nothing wrong with me. " **opens door** (I haven't got a head) **closes door** | |||
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"I bite the heads off lovers after sex.... nothing wrong with me. **opens door** (I haven't got a head) **closes door** " Another victim then. ... | |||
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"I am 8 years single. I have a habit of choosing the wrong men. As much as it saddens me I've come to realise I'll likely always be single now." Similar to me, why do you think you'll always be single now? I bloody hope I'm not single for the rest of my life, sounds lonely! | |||
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"I am 8 years single. I have a habit of choosing the wrong men. As much as it saddens me I've come to realise I'll likely always be single now. Similar to me, why do you think you'll always be single now? I bloody hope I'm not single for the rest of my life, sounds lonely!" For me it simply comes down to the type of man that I'd need to knock down the walls and be willing to take me and my life on doesn't exist. I'm a lot of work and most only ever seem to see me as fun as opposed to potentially anything more. | |||
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"I am 8 years single. I have a habit of choosing the wrong men. As much as it saddens me I've come to realise I'll likely always be single now. Similar to me, why do you think you'll always be single now? I bloody hope I'm not single for the rest of my life, sounds lonely! For me it simply comes down to the type of man that I'd need to knock down the walls and be willing to take me and my life on doesn't exist. I'm a lot of work and most only ever seem to see me as fun as opposed to potentially anything more. " i've got to the point now where i don't even think most men are worthy of fucking me coz that's pretty much the only thing they see me for. i cba with their bullshit either, just for a fuck. i got a few trusted guys i've known for years off here and that's it now. i don't even care if i got without sex, at least i'm not devaluing myself by fucking half the douchebags i have off here. | |||
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"I'm 43, single for 11+ years, never married, so yeah there must be something wrong with me " You have a great collection of knickers | |||
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"anyone who is over thirty and single (as opposed to divorced) is a survivor, and probably looks better than their married counterparts who will have those stress wrinkles that married people have especially the ones with kids who not even the 10 years younger programme could help! " I think I look in good shape for being divorced and a single mother compared to people my age that are still single. | |||
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"If you're single past a certain age then there must be something wrong with you. Discuss..." I don't let flippant comments like that bother me, I'm having a great time | |||
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"Thoughts from the daytime members..." You're bored ? | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids." Is that how you feel ? | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ?" No im already married thats how some people think though. | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though." Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect. | |||
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"If you're single past a certain age then there must be something wrong with you. Discuss..." No this is why I failed my English exam | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though. Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect." I used to be like that before I had my child but now I'm a mother it would be easier for me to date a guy who had a child from a previous relationship, providing his ex isn't hard work. A guy who had children himself would hopefully understand that children are the priority and if a date was made and child care arranged he would understand the effort involved. | |||
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"Since my 30s people have always said why haven't you got a gf or why aren't you married, My only thought on this is, The Women I like don't like me, I even heard my mum at a family party say to someone "I hope he finds someone and has a child before I go" Now that did make me think what's wrong with me " I don't find many guys that I like and tick all my boxes but when I do I come on way too strong and end up sending them screaming running for the hills. | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though. Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect. I used to be like that before I had my child but now I'm a mother it would be easier for me to date a guy who had a child from a previous relationship, providing his ex isn't hard work. A guy who had children himself would hopefully understand that children are the priority and if a date was made and child care arranged he would understand the effort involved. " Yes I agree and thats cool for a date. But I was meaning a relationship with someone with kids. Its alot to take on and life changing for someone who doesnt have children themselves. Its not just the person you are taking on but also their offspring. You lose your freedom to be able to do what you want when you want and will usually have the persons ex the childs other parent and their family in the picture too. Its a big ask. | |||
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"Doesnt take into account people who have had a divorce -people who dont marry are all technically single too as they havent committted legally way I look at it " not really. the government doesn't even accept you as legally single if you live with someone you're in a relationship with. | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though. Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect. I used to be like that before I had my child but now I'm a mother it would be easier for me to date a guy who had a child from a previous relationship, providing his ex isn't hard work. A guy who had children himself would hopefully understand that children are the priority and if a date was made and child care arranged he would understand the effort involved. Yes I agree and thats cool for a date. But I was meaning a relationship with someone with kids. Its alot to take on and life changing for someone who doesnt have children themselves. Its not just the person you are taking on but also their offspring. You lose your freedom to be able to do what you want when you want and will usually have the persons ex the childs other parent and their family in the picture too. Its a big ask. " Maybe it is, but for everyone that thinks that way there is someone crying out for a ready made family and willing to accept them into their lives. | |||
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"I don't really put much effort into dating because i know i come with way too much baggage, two young children (one with extra needs), live with my mum due to her health...and i know that most men feel like Jesus does. But i'd rather hear tales of hope than know i'm going to die alone, unloved and uncared for. It's too depressing to think about. " Theres someone for everyone You will be suprised at how they can pop into your life when least expected | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though. Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect. I used to be like that before I had my child but now I'm a mother it would be easier for me to date a guy who had a child from a previous relationship, providing his ex isn't hard work. A guy who had children himself would hopefully understand that children are the priority and if a date was made and child care arranged he would understand the effort involved. Yes I agree and thats cool for a date. But I was meaning a relationship with someone with kids. Its alot to take on and life changing for someone who doesnt have children themselves. Its not just the person you are taking on but also their offspring. You lose your freedom to be able to do what you want when you want and will usually have the persons ex the childs other parent and their family in the picture too. Its a big ask. " I wouldn't expect any guy to take on my offspring, my child is mine and we've got our routine already. Any man I had a relationship with I'd ask nothing more of him other than be a friend to my child. My child is my own person to take care of and the guy would have to prove himself to be some kind of special incredible person for me to share any responsibility or allow him to have any input with regards to my child. | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though. Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect. I used to be like that before I had my child but now I'm a mother it would be easier for me to date a guy who had a child from a previous relationship, providing his ex isn't hard work. A guy who had children himself would hopefully understand that children are the priority and if a date was made and child care arranged he would understand the effort involved. Yes I agree and thats cool for a date. But I was meaning a relationship with someone with kids. Its alot to take on and life changing for someone who doesnt have children themselves. Its not just the person you are taking on but also their offspring. You lose your freedom to be able to do what you want when you want and will usually have the persons ex the childs other parent and their family in the picture too. Its a big ask. I wouldn't expect any guy to take on my offspring, my child is mine and we've got our routine already. Any man I had a relationship with I'd ask nothing more of him other than be a friend to my child. My child is my own person to take care of and the guy would have to prove himself to be some kind of special incredible person for me to share any responsibility or allow him to have any input with regards to my child. " | |||
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"Maybe though some people dont want to marry someone who has already got kids. Is that how you feel ? No im already married thats how some people think though. Tbh I prefer to date a woman without kids. Most women I know would rather date a guy without kids too in an ideal world. But life doesnt always work out the way you expect." Its not that hard, once you find out they have kids dump them. People in my family who have married someone with kids have all sorts of problems with them, even when they grow up sometimes even worst when they grow up. | |||
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"I'm definitely fucked as I'm past 40 and single It's nonsense ... There are many reasons why someone is single past a certain age. Being "undatable" is only one. I think I'm far too set in my ways now to get into a relationship. And if I did have one I definitely wouldn't want dependant children in the picture. Most men of my age have small children and a baby momma inot the background. Relationships are hard enough without all of that to deal with. My idea of hell is spending my weekends at soft play " toddler groups are tedious as fuck. | |||
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"Doesnt take into account people who have had a divorce -people who dont marry are all technically single too as they havent committted legally way I look at it not really. the government doesn't even accept you as legally single if you live with someone you're in a relationship with." Yes so why cant we get tax relief as a married couple then? Government likes to take money off you if you are living together But wont give you fuck all back?? | |||
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"If you're single past a certain age then there must be something wrong with you. Discuss..." not true! | |||
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"Doesnt take into account people who have had a divorce -people who dont marry are all technically single too as they havent committted legally way I look at it not really. the government doesn't even accept you as legally single if you live with someone you're in a relationship with. Yes so why cant we get tax relief as a married couple then? Government likes to take money off you if you are living together But wont give you fuck all back?? " that pretty much is the government, yes. | |||
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"Quite an insulting/annoying presumption about single parents being made by some people. " Yes, not always the single parents choice. And most of us aren't looking for replacement dads. We're entitled to have a relationship and someone to love just for us. | |||
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"Quite an insulting/annoying presumption about single parents being made by some people. Yes, not always the single parents choice. And most of us aren't looking for replacement dads. We're entitled to have a relationship and someone to love just for us. " That's what I was thinking. It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along so they can bring up their children. The reality is single parents will have a routine already and be fully functioning families, have their own support network around them. Any new person being introduced would have to jump through hoops and prove themselves worthy of being around the child and consider it a privilege if they are able to be included in your child's life. I work 2 jobs, my child does kickboxing, tumbling, trampolining, gymnastics, drama, Krav Maga, piano and swimming lessons over 6 days of the week. I take her to every class, I wouldn't expect anybody else to take her, I wouldn't trust anyone else to take her, that's completely my domain. | |||
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"Quite an insulting/annoying presumption about single parents being made by some people. Yes, not always the single parents choice. And most of us aren't looking for replacement dads. We're entitled to have a relationship and someone to love just for us. That's what I was thinking. It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along so they can bring up their children. The reality is single parents will have a routine already and be fully functioning families, have their own support network around them. Any new person being introduced would have to jump through hoops and prove themselves worthy of being around the child and consider it a privilege if they are able to be included in your child's life. I work 2 jobs, my child does kickboxing, tumbling, trampolining, gymnastics, drama, Krav Maga, piano and swimming lessons over 6 days of the week. I take her to every class, I wouldn't expect anybody else to take her, I wouldn't trust anyone else to take her, that's completely my domain. " i got a lot more response on POF when i put on my profile i wasn't looking for anyone to help bring up my kids. POF still sucks but it goes to show a lot of people maybe do think what you jut said. | |||
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"Just something that was said in another thread. I'm single and almost 34, been single nearly 8 years! Think it's actually quite hard this day and age to find a partner. Lots of options available to be people makes you seem more disposable. Friends your age already in relationships so no one to go out to bars. " Come to glasgow and we can go to bars together ... oh wait! Ive seen the men here ... maybe i better come to wales | |||
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"Wrong like what? I just enjoy the bed space..." I agree and your builders hear darling | |||
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"I'm 47 this year , been single for nearly 5 years after 17yr relationship , for me I'm too guarded now , have massive trust issues , do miss someone else being there occasionally but also enjoy the freedom I have now that I didn't have for so many years , the ability to just go off and do something without having to be made to feel guilty for wanting a bit of a life " Shall I pop round and hold your hand | |||
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"I'm 47 this year , been single for nearly 5 years after 17yr relationship , for me I'm too guarded now , have massive trust issues , do miss someone else being there occasionally but also enjoy the freedom I have now that I didn't have for so many years , the ability to just go off and do something without having to be made to feel guilty for wanting a bit of a life Shall I pop round and hold your hand " | |||
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"Like a fine wine I've matured with age. Experience has made me wiser & I carry those lessons with me. It's the age old saying of youth is wasted on the young. I'm more content now in myself than I've ever been. So bollocks to that quote. " | |||
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"It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along " That's a rather unnecessary generalisation | |||
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"It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along so they can bring up their children. That's a rather unnecessary generalisation " If you're going to quote me do the full sentence so it's not out of context. That sentence was written based on the responses shown in this thread that dating someone with a child meant they had to take on the role of a parent and that they would have all these duties and responsibilities. I don't think I'm the only one who felt the same. | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! " More appropriate | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! More appropriate " Partner me now, someone, please! | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! More appropriate Partner me now, someone, please! " Even more appropriate | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! More appropriate Partner me now, someone, please! Even more appropriate " But....there's something wrong with me! | |||
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"It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along so they can bring up their children. That's a rather unnecessary generalisation If you're going to quote me do the full sentence so it's not out of context. That sentence was written based on the responses shown in this thread that dating someone with a child meant they had to take on the role of a parent and that they would have all these duties and responsibilities. I don't think I'm the only one who felt the same. " I've deffo had people who wanted to date me until they found out I had a kid. | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! More appropriate Partner me now, someone, please! Even more appropriate But....there's something wrong with me! " Too perfect? | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! More appropriate Partner me now, someone, please! Even more appropriate But....there's something wrong with me! Too perfect? " Online only. Trust me. | |||
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"Ruin me now, someone, please! More appropriate Partner me now, someone, please! Even more appropriate But....there's something wrong with me! Too perfect? Online only. Trust me." | |||
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"It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along so they can bring up their children. That's a rather unnecessary generalisation If you're going to quote me do the full sentence so it's not out of context. That sentence was written based on the responses shown in this thread that dating someone with a child meant they had to take on the role of a parent and that they would have all these duties and responsibilities. I don't think I'm the only one who felt the same. " But you have to admit that being with someone with a child means you have to spend time with said child Maybe you won't have sole responsibility but a parent and a child come as a package deal. I'd rather not spend time with children. | |||
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"It seems that people (without children) think that single parents are just waiting for a partner to come along so they can bring up their children. That's a rather unnecessary generalisation If you're going to quote me do the full sentence so it's not out of context. That sentence was written based on the responses shown in this thread that dating someone with a child meant they had to take on the role of a parent and that they would have all these duties and responsibilities. I don't think I'm the only one who felt the same. But you have to admit that being with someone with a child means you have to spend time with said child Maybe you won't have sole responsibility but a parent and a child come as a package deal. I'd rather not spend time with children. " If I got with someone that had a child or children from a previous relationship I would be kind and treat the kid exactly like a friends child. I wouldn't try and be a mother to the child, I'd know that the child has a mother already. If it got to a place where I lived with a guy and his children stayed with us I'd make sure the child left to go home with all the clothes and belongings washed and put back in their bag to take home. I've got my own child I wouldn't feel at all obliged to be a parent to that child unless the father and the child wanted me to take more of a parental role. I'd totally understand if the guy wanted to see his child or children separately and would have the sense to know that they've already got their routine set up and I'd just let them get on with it. | |||
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"You're missing the point ... Most childless people don't want to spend time with children. It's not about taking on a parental role. " "Most"? Nah, its just a few of them, I know plenty of childless people who got together with a person who has children in r/l. | |||
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"You're missing the point ... Most childless people don't want to spend time with children. It's not about taking on a parental role. "Most"? Nah, its just a few of them, I know plenty of childless people who got together with a person who has children in r/l. " OK... I don't want to spend time with children and I know plenty of people that feel the same way | |||
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"You're missing the point ... Most childless people don't want to spend time with children. It's not about taking on a parental role. "Most"? Nah, its just a few of them, I know plenty of childless people who got together with a person who has children in r/l. OK... I don't want to spend time with children and I know plenty of people that feel the same way" To be fair, its mostly fellers I knkow who have got together with women who have kids, although I can think of at least two women who have done the same. I think, on the whole, guys are less bothered about that sort of thing. | |||
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"You're missing the point ... Most childless people don't want to spend time with children. It's not about taking on a parental role. " children may not want to spent time with an adult, that doesn't appreciate them... my kids are often more wise that the adult i'm seeing, hence i don't date, cos, if you feel they are a 'just children' then its your loss anyway...they don't need a father figure, i know, they've told me so..and i don't need help parenting ..got it covered. | |||
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"You're missing the point ... Most childless people don't want to spend time with children. It's not about taking on a parental role. children may not want to spent time with an adult, that doesn't appreciate them... my kids are often more wise that the adult i'm seeing, hence i don't date, cos, if you feel they are a 'just children' then its your loss anyway...they don't need a father figure, i know, they've told me so..and i don't need help parenting ..got it covered." Yeah. I'd be mortified if any woman I was dating felt they had to be a mother to my daughter. She has a mother and a father, we have it covered, ta. | |||
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"I'm not looking to date. But it's not the presence of a kid(s) that's the problem. Men are wary of the domestic baggage that comes with it. That child has a father, he's going to be a presence in the relationship. I've NEVER dated anyone who has kids for this reason alone. It wouldn't be the child that's the issue. At least not for me." Doesn't have to be an issue unless you make it one - my ex's new bloke is a decent felleer and we get on just fine. If they didn't live so far away, I'd happily have a pint with him. | |||
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"I've been in two relationships with guys who have had children. My role was to support him, be a diplomat if things got tough and just try and treat the child as I would my own. It's hard because you have to understand that you can't get involved in certain things and you're always going to come second, but one good thing about it is that most of the time, you get every other weekend free depending on the ex-partner... " This is how I see it. You don't want to take on a parental dutiesyour in a supporting one. Which may become more involved depending on their age & if you end moving in together. | |||
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"I'm not looking to date. But it's not the presence of a kid(s) that's the problem. Men are wary of the domestic baggage that comes with it. That child has a father, he's going to be a presence in the relationship. I've NEVER dated anyone who has kids for this reason alone. It wouldn't be the child that's the issue. At least not for me. Doesn't have to be an issue unless you make it one - my ex's new bloke is a decent felleer and we get on just fine. If they didn't live so far away, I'd happily have a pint with him. " He might not like me. And that's hassle. | |||
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"You're missing the point ... Most childless people don't want to spend time with children. It's not about taking on a parental role. " You (and others) are also missing the point that we want relationships for ourselves. We may not even want potential partners to meet our children. I certainly wouldn't have anyone around my child until a relationship was well established and secure and even then there wouldn't really be any need for him to be around my child unless he had children the same age and we could all go somewhere child friendly together or if it got to the stage where we lived together. Other than that it would be adult dates in the evenings, usually on weekends as most adults do (end of working week etc) I have my family support network around me like I've always had and my daughter likes to sleep over her Nans house or my mother or sister stays in my house for me to go out. There is absolutely no need for any potential partner to meet my child unless I want him to and I don't, I've got that side of things covered. | |||
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"I've been in two relationships with guys who have had children. My role was to support him, be a diplomat if things got tough and just try and treat the child as I would my own. It's hard because you have to understand that you can't get involved in certain things and you're always going to come second, but one good thing about it is that most of the time, you get every other weekend free depending on the ex-partner... This is how I see it. You don't want to take on a parental dutiesyour in a supporting one. Which may become more involved depending on their age & if you end moving in together." Completely! After 6 years together, I did feel like a sort-of Mum but with less responsibility. The most important part is being aware that you can't be jealous. There will always be a child and another woman in their life. | |||
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"I'm not looking to date. But it's not the presence of a kid(s) that's the problem. Men are wary of the domestic baggage that comes with it. That child has a father, he's going to be a presence in the relationship. I've NEVER dated anyone who has kids for this reason alone. It wouldn't be the child that's the issue. At least not for me." same the other way round..i dont want to deal with ex's and the strife, they cause..my ex's are not in the picture at all, in other countries in fact, but im glad, i wouldnt want their interference with whatever relationships i found myself in. i get on with other peoples children as i treat them like people, unfortunately, some don't like me getting on with them that well, they think they are being superseded, well thats their problem not mine. i wont stop being myself so i avoid the whole thing these days..too much grief. | |||
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"A parent and child come as a package. It's not for everyone. But some people may want that dynamic You can dress it up as much as you like that you're an individual- but as soon as you have a child you've given up that right. Any relationship you have from then on will include that childant the other parent. And you have to accept that some people don't want that x" I kind of agree with this ... to the posters saying you are looking for someone to date you as an individual and not even meet or be involved with your child ... surely you mean for now? until you are ready for them to be involved? ....because if you mean never then thats unfair to the person you are dating ... you cant get into a long term relationship with someone and keep them completely excluded from part of your life ... no way that could work So if it is the case that you more meant not straight away then I agree with marypoppins ... if i go into a dating situation hoping it has some long term potential and i know there is a road block for me further down the road im not going to carry on for the phase that suits me and get emotionally attached when i know i will never want to get to that next stage meeting the kids etc which is inevitable if it will work long term ... so i just avoid meeting people with kids full stop | |||
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"A parent and child come as a package. It's not for everyone. But some people may want that dynamic You can dress it up as much as you like that you're an individual- but as soon as you have a child you've given up that right. Any relationship you have from then on will include that childant the other parent. And you have to accept that some people don't want that x I kind of agree with this ... to the posters saying you are looking for someone to date you as an individual and not even meet or be involved with your child ... surely you mean for now? until you are ready for them to be involved? ....because if you mean never then thats unfair to the person you are dating ... you cant get into a long term relationship with someone and keep them completely excluded from part of your life ... no way that could work So if it is the case that you more meant not straight away then I agree with marypoppins ... if i go into a dating situation hoping it has some long term potential and i know there is a road block for me further down the road im not going to carry on for the phase that suits me and get emotionally attached when i know i will never want to get to that next stage meeting the kids etc which is inevitable if it will work long term ... so i just avoid meeting people with kids full stop " That's quite shit then. Would hate someone to use my child as a reason not to date or have a relationship with me. | |||
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