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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Subject: Letter from the Prime Minister's office
Dear Mr. Simpleton, Please find below our response to your fix for the UK's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks we could have let them go bust. The next morning all the cash machines would not have been working, all the direct debits and standing orders you have would not have been paid, most of your savings would have been lost, in fact you'd have struggled to get that weeks wages!......we think it was a bit of a no brainer really.
With reference to your 'Patriotic Retirement Plan', I refer to to earlier correspondence from our Ministry of Sense, the Minister (Wishy) did some basic figure work on the back of his hand and I believe has already written to you with his findings. (the sums were really quite simple, he didn't need to set up a commons committee!).
By the way, we haven't got any money left, so the £Trillion or so needed would have to be borrowed, thereby increasing the deficit and......oh dear!
Besides if we could live in la la land, oops I mean adopt your Patriotic Pension Plan, how could we guarantee that all these new millionaires would remain patriotic and stay and spend all the money in this country on non imported British goods!
P.S. As for having all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances that would probably just about cover the wages of a top premier league footballer (I appreciate it might make you feel better but it won't clear the national debt).
Also………..
Putting the pensioners in Jail was considered by my team looking at the pension crisis, but there are a lot more pensioners than prisoners so we'd have to build a lot more Jails, which would increase govt spending and therefore govt borrowing and.........oh here we go again!
Putting the prisoners in care homes would certainly solve the abuse in car homes issue, but in our humble opinion most of the prisoners may choose to leave and go back to doing what some of them do best to society......you never know, some might come back for dinner now and then if we ask nicely
COWS
It does not surprise me that cows can be tracked, after all they are not the most transient of animals, they seem pretty content with their lot, and to be honest they'd stand out a bit if they were singing for a bit of loose change in Leicester Square.....I know, maybe I'm being a bit silly, but you started the cow-immigrant argument!
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Also;
Think about this ... If there was an easy solution who on earth would decide to ignore it? -- If you belIeve there is a simple painless solution YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
Ps. Are you from Greece? |