FabSwingers.com forum: losing a friend

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i had a bit of a knock last night.

my mate hasn't been well for a few weeks now & yesterday evening he confirmed my gut instinct.

he has been told he has cancer in his left kidney and 'numerous' small tumours in both lungs.

been given 3 - 6 months. he's 48.

it's kinda knocked me for six

i am no stranger to death. my mum was mid 30's when she had me and her mum was late 30s's when she had her so been used to digging out the black suit quite a bit over the years.

however this is the first time i have to deal with the death of a friend as opposed to an elderly relative.

he doesn't have any family so it's gonna fall to myself and 2 other close friends to look out for him (obviously alongside macmillan and nhs support).

think it's time to straighten the back and take some deep breaths !

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

My cousins husbad was given 6 months to live with the same diagnosis, that was 21 months ago.

Keep him positive and who knows what will happen

Good luck to him and god bless his carers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i had a bit of a knock last night.

my mate hasn't been well for a few weeks now & yesterday evening he confirmed my gut instinct.

he has been told he has cancer in his left kidney and 'numerous' small tumours in both lungs.

been given 3 - 6 months. he's 48.

it's kinda knocked me for six

i am no stranger to death. my mum was mid 30's when she had me and her mum was late 30s's when she had her so been used to digging out the black suit quite a bit over the years.

however this is the first time i have to deal with the death of a friend as opposed to an elderly relative.

he doesn't have any family so it's gonna fall to myself and 2 other close friends to look out for him (obviously alongside macmillan and nhs support).

think it's time to straighten the back and take some deep breaths !"

I'm sorry to hear that, thoughts with you both.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Be strong Iso, thoughts and prayers are with you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be there for him and he may well be there for you a little longer than you both know. It can't be easy for either of you.

Wishy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel mate....

I lost a very close friend at 27 to cancer....

My wife was diagnosed at 45

And recently lost a 49 yr old close mate to a Heart Attack

My suit is hanging up all pressed ready for the next one....

Just be their for your mate, its hard I know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

awww thanks folks

(i think) i know what we need to do & it'll be a shitty few months

it's therapeutic to write things down which is why i needed to open the post

needed to get it off my chest that's all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a daunting task, dealing with the loss of anyone close...some are quick and some slow but try and make his time with his loved ones and friends as good as it can be...great memories are what keep us going after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

really truly sorry to hear that hunny

i wish i had some wise words to help you through but all i have is a pm box and the ability to listen

here for you if you need to talk, vent or cry

huge huge hugs

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These words help someone who is yet still here, but soon to go. They'll help you think about who he is while he's still with you.

Not, how will he die, but how did he live?

Not, what did he gain, but what did he give?

These are the units to measure the worth

Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Not what is his church, nor what is his creed?

But does he befriend those really in need?

Is he ever ready, with words of good cheer,

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not what will the sketch in the newspaper say,

But how many will mourn when he passes away?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"These words help someone who is yet still here, but soon to go. They'll help you think about who he is while he's still with you.

Not, how will he die, but how did he live?

Not, what did he gain, but what did he give?

These are the units to measure the worth

Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Not what is his church, nor what is his creed?

But does he befriend those really in need?

Is he ever ready, with words of good cheer,

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?

Not what will the sketch in the newspaper say,

But how many will mourn when he passes away?"

is this your 'lesser spotted' sentimental side i'm seeing here wishy ?

it actually did make me laugh especially regards 'how did he live ?'

well, he's the only person i have ever known who :

1. went to live in a brothel in paris to write poetry and 'find himself'

2. got a job as a concierge in some posh apartments in london where the major perk was free cocaine from arab princes

3. got 'done' for non payment of council tax by the very same council he was a local councillor for

4. joined the clergy but was asked to leave cos he kept crying at funerals and having an 'inappropriate encounter' with the bishops nephew

I could go on, but yeah thanks for that Wishy, it did prompt some smiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds as though he's had a good life. Amd that's what it's all about really isn't it.

I used ot have this on our profile as my mantra:

Life isn't about arriving at your destination in a perfectly preserved body, but more of a slide in sideways on your knees in a shower of gravel, proclaiming loudly, "Fuck me, what a rush!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

p.s. I am a sensitive little soul you know. Once you cut through the big tough guy exterior, I blub like a girl!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It sounds as though he's had a good life. Amd that's what it's all about really isn't it.

I used ot have this on our profile as my mantra:

Life isn't about arriving at your destination in a perfectly preserved body, but more of a slide in sideways on your knees in a shower of gravel, proclaiming loudly, "Fuck me, what a rush!"

that's how i arrive at work most mornings

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

1. went to live in a brothel in paris to write poetry and 'find himself'

2. got a job as a concierge in some posh apartments in london where the major perk was free cocaine from arab princes

3. got 'done' for non payment of council tax by the very same council he was a local councillor for

4. joined the clergy but was asked to leave cos he kept crying at funerals and having an 'inappropriate encounter' with the bishops nephew

I could go on, but yeah thanks for that Wishy, it did prompt some smiles

Iso he sounds a hell of a character

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. went to live in a brothel in paris to write poetry and 'find himself'

2. got a job as a concierge in some posh apartments in london where the major perk was free cocaine from arab princes

3. got 'done' for non payment of council tax by the very same council he was a local councillor for

4. joined the clergy but was asked to leave cos he kept crying at funerals and having an 'inappropriate encounter' with the bishops nephew

I could go on, but yeah thanks for that Wishy, it did prompt some smiles

Iso he sounds a hell of a character

I had a friend who was training to become a priest ...till they sent him to Amsterdam to complete his calling .....he always says he failed on all 3 counts .... the sex the drugs and the rock and roll !!........

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