FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Eeerrrrm Hello Dumb Ass

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have re-enacted the opening scene from The Sound of Music to kill time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

were you over loaded then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems the mechanics ability to drive to strange locations are better than the drivers ability to do a quick mechanical fix

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have re-enacted the opening scene from The Sound of Music to kill time."

if you re enact the opening scene from the sound of music but there's nobody there to see it, does it make any noise though?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Should have called international rescue

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford

I wouldn't use this one in your after dinner repertoire.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would have re-enacted the opening scene from The Sound of Music to kill time.

if you re enact the opening scene from the sound of music but there's nobody there to see it, does it make any noise though?"

It still feels gooooooood even if there's no sound.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"were you over loaded then? "

Nope well within weight, I think it was the angle as I came over the top that caused the problem. I'm guessing back axle was in the air and the air bags stretched and blew. But can't be sure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr"

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

So who is the dumbass?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"were you over loaded then?

Nope well within weight, I think it was the angle as I came over the top that caused the problem. I'm guessing back axle was in the air and the air bags stretched and blew. But can't be sure"

Obviously not funny for you but that would have made a good video clip

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems the mechanics ability to drive to strange locations are better than the drivers ability to do a quick mechanical fix "

Oh I could have kinked the pipes but didn't fancy coming down the side of a mountain like that and ripping my mud guards off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did you pass the time by taking creepy eye photos?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages. "

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

Everything looks very similar once you go up a mountain, Maybe the directions he was given wasn't as precise as you thought, New on the job ? Or just rubbish at it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So who is the dumbass?"

You need to read the whole post.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"did you pass the time by taking creepy eye photos? "

Of course lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"did you pass the time by taking creepy eye photos? "

And a few penis shots just to wind people up lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.


"Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

"

How else do you think they end up in fish tanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"were you over loaded then?

Nope well within weight, I think it was the angle as I came over the top that caused the problem. I'm guessing back axle was in the air and the air bags stretched and blew. But can't be sure"

bad luck one of those live and learn things though i suppose.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

How else do you think they end up in fish tanks

"

How big are the fish tanks??

I thought rocks came from America and were broken up by prisoners

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

"

They go to stone mason's who work magic and make pretty things from them. Churches, mosques, posh houses. Often have nice detailed sand stone around the windows and doors. Some bloke makes that from a block weighing anything from 3 to 15 ton.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

How else do you think they end up in fish tanks

How big are the fish tanks??

I thought rocks came from America and were broken up by prisoners "

Well obviously the American prisoners need to buy the rocks from somewhere or they would just be swinging hammers for no good reason

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

How else do you think they end up in fish tanks

How big are the fish tanks??

I thought rocks came from America and were broken up by prisoners

Well obviously the American prisoners need to buy the rocks from somewhere or they would just be swinging hammers for no good reason "

Did you salvage those poor rocks?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have several Options, Dont panic.

1. Light a fire,

tell mechanic to follow the smoke signal?

2. Wait until nightfall.

tell mechanic to navigate by the stars?

3. Set fire to the forest.

You might get one of those bushfire helicopters

to show up?

4. Set fire to your truck.

tell mechanic trucks on fire so bring a fire extinguisher.

That's it. I'm out of ideas

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"were you over loaded then?

Nope well within weight, I think it was the angle as I came over the top that caused the problem. I'm guessing back axle was in the air and the air bags stretched and blew. But can't be sure

bad luck one of those live and learn things though i suppose."

Unavoidable really, unless they re grade the access and egress. Hey ho guess I'll find out next time I'm there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So who is the dumbass?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why are you taking rocks from mountains?

How else do you think they end up in fish tanks

How big are the fish tanks??

I thought rocks came from America and were broken up by prisoners

Well obviously the American prisoners need to buy the rocks from somewhere or they would just be swinging hammers for no good reason

Did you salvage those poor rocks?"

In other words -did you get your rocks off?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have several Options, Dont panic.

1. Light a fire,

tell mechanic to follow the smoke signal?

2. Wait until nightfall.

tell mechanic to navigate by the stars?

3. Set fire to the forest.

You might get one of those bushfire helicopters

to show up?

4. Set fire to your truck.

tell mechanic trucks on fire so bring a fire extinguisher.

That's it. I'm out of ideas

"

5. Build a tower from the rocks, climb to the top and shout helloooooooooo!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You have several Options, Dont panic.

1. Light a fire,

tell mechanic to follow the smoke signal?

2. Wait until nightfall.

tell mechanic to navigate by the stars?

3. Set fire to the forest.

You might get one of those bushfire helicopters

to show up?

4. Set fire to your truck.

tell mechanic trucks on fire so bring a fire extinguisher.

That's it. I'm out of ideas

5. Build a tower from the rocks, climb to the top and shout helloooooooooo!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You have several Options, Dont panic.

1. Light a fire,

tell mechanic to follow the smoke signal?

2. Wait until nightfall.

tell mechanic to navigate by the stars?

3. Set fire to the forest.

You might get one of those bushfire helicopters

to show up?

4. Set fire to your truck.

tell mechanic trucks on fire so bring a fire extinguisher.

That's it. I'm out of ideas

5. Build a tower from the rocks, climb to the top and shout helloooooooooo!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks. "

It was leaving a trail of rocks that was concerning me lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course if you had a satnav you could have pressed the where am I button and given the mechanic your location accurately...

But then we would have missed out on this fine thread

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Of course if you had a satnav you could have pressed the where am I button and given the mechanic your location accurately...

But then we would have missed out on this fine thread "

I had a sat nav but up there even the gprs wouldn't pick up.

In the end I had to run down to a farm at the bottom to get some info. Was bloody knackered by the time I got back up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Carry a ball of wool with you and unravel it as you go up the mountain.

That way, you can find your way down if you get lost, and B) any mechanic can follow the trail of wool up.

Simples!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks.

It was leaving a trail of cocks that was concerning me lol"

Crikey

Are you home now? I won't sleep till I know you're safe tucked up in bed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If anyone would like to see one of said chunks of rock I can send privately. Ya'll just have to excuse the fact that my face is in same picture

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks.

It was leaving a trail of cocks that was concerning me lol

Crikey

Are you home now? I won't sleep till I know you're safe tucked up in bed. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks.

It was leaving a trail of cocks that was concerning me lol

Crikey

Are you home now? I won't sleep till I know you're safe tucked up in bed. "

Nope one is now way way from home. I'm down in Avonmouth, and will be further tomorrow. But stopped for the night

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol"

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should have called international rescue "

They called someone from Middlesbrough lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol "

Yeah just talking, said I wasn't her type. Just like fab really ha ha ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks.

It was leaving a trail of cocks that was concerning me lol

Crikey

Are you home now? I won't sleep till I know you're safe tucked up in bed.

Nope one is now way way from home. I'm down in Avonmouth, and will be further tomorrow. But stopped for the night"

Glad you're ok. Hope you're not going back up that mountain tomorrow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should have called international rescue "

F.A.B.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol

Yeah just talking, said I wasn't her type. Just like fab really ha ha ha"

She probably has a couples profile too just to play hard to get

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand!

But to be fair this thread really made me laugh

I took a fair few tabs of acid in my youth too ....

And collecting rocks from a mountain, whilst acting scenes from the sound of music - whilst taking creepy eye pictures would have made loads of sense

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Leave a trail of bread crumbs next time. Or rocks.

It was leaving a trail of cocks that was concerning me lol

Crikey

Are you home now? I won't sleep till I know you're safe tucked up in bed.

Nope one is now way way from home. I'm down in Avonmouth, and will be further tomorrow. But stopped for the night

Glad you're ok. Hope you're not going back up that mountain tomorrow. "

No one is off to Devon, think I'm more worried to be honest lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"So who is the dumbass?

You need to read the whole post.

"

I did

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I don't understand!

But to be fair this thread really made me laugh

I took a fair few tabs of acid in my youth too ....

And collecting rocks from a mountain, whilst acting scenes from the sound of music - whilst taking creepy eye pictures would have made loads of sense "

It's however you get your rocks off lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol

Yeah just talking, said I wasn't her type. Just like fab really ha ha ha

She probably has a couples profile too just to play hard to get "

Yeah apparently I sent copy and paste message to the joint profile. Lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol

Yeah just talking, said I wasn't her type. Just like fab really ha ha ha

She probably has a couples profile too just to play hard to get "

Honestly though, there are only so many ways you can pay bah

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

This the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Honestly dude I was that bored I actually started talking to the sheep. Bitch didn't want my number though lol

You sure you were just 'talking' to the sheep lol

Yeah just talking, said I wasn't her type. Just like fab really ha ha ha

She probably has a couples profile too just to play hard to get

Yeah apparently I sent copy and paste message to the joint profile. Lol"

You too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

next time tell the fitter you have a bottle of JD with his name on it

guarantee he will be there in 20 mins

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should have called international rescue

F.A.B. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr"

Does the quarry not hsve an adress given its a busines?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So as some of you may know I drive a truck for a living. My work is quite diverse and today I find myself up a mountain again loading massive chunks of rock. The load goes fine as always and then I leave, the track down is just a muddy dirt track, is very steep, with a bitch of a hair pin and only wide enough for one vehicle.

About a quarter of way down my trailer air bags blow (part of the suspension system) and that's me pretty much fucked without spares or a mechanic. So I phone the office and they arrange for someone to come out. After what seems like forever my phone rings and it's the mechanic. He tells me he can't find me even though he's been given precise directions. Then he asks for a post code. A fucking post code? I'm like yeah mate all mountains, hills and fells come with fucking post codes. Hang on a minute I'll just ask that bloody sheep if it knows it. It did not woolly, ignorant bugger just looked at me as if I was a thick lost mechanic.

Now the smart ones amongst you will will be thinking why not just go on Google maps and get a grid reference. Simple answere, I'm up a fucking mountain and I've no 4g signal. I even lose mobile reception once the bloody fog comes down. 4 and a half hours of boredom later I eventually get off the mountain. Couldn't even watch porn because I had no fucking Internet.

Incidentally the bloke was based an hour or so away and the job was a quick fix, gggrrrr

Does the quarry not hsve an adress given its a busines?"

Nope their business address is the yard 20 miles away

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Just looked at the opening thread and you say you drive a truck for a living and your work can be quite diverse. It can't be tho can it. You get in your truck and drive it!!! Regardless of location you.still just drove truck!! It doesn't matter what you're 'hauling' yoyn still drive your truck. Have i missed the diverse part ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Damn sausage fingers and typos

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just looked at the opening thread and you say you drive a truck for a living and your work can be quite diverse. It can't be tho can it. You get in your truck and drive it!!! Regardless of location you.still just drove truck!! It doesn't matter what you're 'hauling' yoyn still drive your truck. Have i missed the diverse part ? "

The diversity comes with what we load and the challenges of making it safe to transport, for example I've 3 great big tractors on the back, yesterday rock. The driving bit is but a part of things and not the best part either

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Damn sausage fingers and typos "

Mr as my friend calls it premature textulation lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top