FabSwingers.com forum: Are you where you thought you would be?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In my teens I was a quiet pony club girl who spent every spare minute mucking out or riding.

I always assumed I'd end up married to guy in a checked shirt and t with 2.4 labradors (because I hated kids)and be part of the Burghley Brigade.

Fast forward a few years and I'm a purple haired dancer, married to a long haired, tattooed musician with a talented brood of mini me's and we attend parties where we fuck strangers!

Life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh completely!

I was sure I'd be married, with children and some cool career. Now I want the opposite.

I'm a 33 year-old Granny who gets excited over steam cleaning and likes a cheese board!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never thought I'd have kids. Never ever. Now i wouldn't be without them

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Oh completely!

I was sure I'd be married, with children and some cool career. Now I want the opposite.

I'm a 33 year-old Granny who gets excited over steam cleaning and likes a cheese board! "

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By *amianoMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Never thought I would join fab I use too hate swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life has thrown me some curved balls. Didn't expect to be where I am, but love it anyway.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Honestly didn't expect to live this long so had no expectations

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm probably the least ambitious person on the planet so I didn't have a clear idea of where I thought I'd be.

Its all turned out so much better than I imagined though

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Absolutely not where I thought I'd be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No; never thought that I would be here now, mind you, if I ever had chance I would tell my younger self not to worry and just enjoy it!

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By *iss InnocenceWoman
over a year ago

Coventry/Bristol

Nope my life nothing how I thought it would be, but wouldn't change anything cause if I did I wouldn't be me,no matter how hard life gets

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Eight years ago when I left my husband,I had a very high paid job, I lived in Surrey, I thought I was in love and my boys and I were going to ride off in to the sunset with my first proper love.. I never thought 8 years later I'd still be on my own. I never imagined how hard lifes been. However without the struggles I wouldn't realise how lucky I am. I have 3 sons who make me so proud and happy. A job I love where I get to make a difference. I live in a cottage that I can't wait to come home to. I may be lonely,poor and broken hearted,but I'm very lucky and truly believe this is the journey I was meant to have. I have no idea what happens next but I'm sure it won't be boring. No matter how much I think that's what I want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much the opposite. In fact, 16 year old me had no idea the life I lead now existed. I'm a happy soldier most of the time because of it.

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By *ueenofheartsWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Didn't expect to be where I am right now, but it's of my own doing...

Massive life changes over the last couple of years..... I'm hoping I'll end up with a lifestyle more suited to me than the previous one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the same place emotionally but that's by choice...family wise that's all good and career wise I'm good...just doing it in a different country lol...been a swinger that long it's part of me but content with that...so all in all can't complain...

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I never ever expected I'd be like I am now and where I am in my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really.

When I was really young I wanted to go into politics. It was something my family was involved in and I loved it. When I got to high school and worked for a prominent politician I realized that I don't want to sell my soul for a campaign so I decided to be a lawyer with the ACLU in NYC instead. I was never going to get married because I didn't believe in it.

Fast forward to today, I did become a lawyer but kinda gave it up for that husband I swore I would never have. I'm also living in another country, which I never expected.

But life works in funny ways and I'm more than happy.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I honestly don't know. At 15 I was ready to be a nun, at 16 I was very clear what I would be doing but by 17 all that changed. By 20 I embarked on 12 years of the most emotionally painful losses with a little side-step at 26 of losing physical (and mental) health and expecting not to live.

I don't think I expected that I would always be alone; that I would always be described as loveable and yet never loved.

I'm alive, I'm well, I'm productive and mostly not as bonkers as I could have been.

Apologies, this time of year is difficult.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Before and after leaving school I didn't know what I wanted to do for work or in life, I tried a few things and by the time I was in my early 20's I started doing the same job I have now but for 3 different companies, As for a family, I have always wanted children, most of the people I have grown up with have them and most are with the same partners, Judging by the way my life has gone and is going I honestly don't think I will have any

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

In my teens I thought I would be an officer, till I picked up a permanent injury.

Fast forward several years, I have a liking for wearing women's clothing complete with make up & wigs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not at all.

Thought I would of ended up in jail when I was a kid. Got in that much trouble.

Instead I've travelled the world worked with some fantastic people and done thing that i could of only dreamed about.

Love my life.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I've met some people who seemed to get exactly what they wanted/worked for out of life.

Must be boring.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

I hoped id be married with a nice lady and with kids if at all possible.

instead im single got 2 children, girl and a boy

A daughter thats made me proud already

would I ever change the past to something else.

no the future id like something different though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well after the divorce and all that - going from that point i thought - me and the kids - maybe get a dog or two and that would be me - 2 year gap and well - lets just say glad i didnt tie myself down with woofters and now the kids have flown the nest - never in a million years would i have thought id be doing any of the stuff i do now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was a kid I always said I would be a millionaire by 30

I hit that mark at 24

I done well ha!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

I don't think anybody's life ambition is to be a single parent on minimum wage.

That being said - I'm a darned site happier than I was when I was in a (bad) relationship and relatively wealthy!

I'd still like to meet 'Mr right' at some point though - and have a career that enables me to treat the kids more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger I aimed my sights at becoming an accountant as 'accountants earn lots'.

I became an accountant and quickly realised that only partners in firms make lots of money

Other than that I hadn't planned anything so no I'm not where I planned to be as I don't work in practice anymore and I'm living in a different country

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In some respects I am so much further than I thought I would be

In others, I am nowhere near where I'd like to be

Regrets ?

I wish I'd have been better with money and would be better equipped to land an early retirement and be 'comfortable' in my later years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was talking about this the other day with my friend. Whilst I have no real regrets & lived life to the full in my younger days I look back and think I really should have applied myself more & partied less.

I think it comes down to always taking the safe option instead of taking risks, I'm not sure I can change that now.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I wish I'd have been better with money and would be better equipped to land an early retirement and be 'comfortable' in my later years."

Postcards

"I think it comes down to always taking the safe option instead of taking risks, I'm not sure I can change that now."

Roxi

The past is another country... there's no saying that if you had saved something wouldn't have happened to make you think you should have spent the money and enjoyed yourself.

If you'd taken the risks you might not have had some of things you truly value (like your children).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think, for me, it's a selfless thing.

If I was on my own, it wouldn't bother me as much but now I have found 'the one' I want to give him everything, I want to make sure he is sorted when I am not here, I want to make sure he doesn't struggle.

It's daft really because he has such a good head on his shoulders and he will considerably outstrip me earnings potential wise when he's 3 to 4 years further down the line. So I know he'll be fine.

I also want to enjoy the time we are together and just feel it would have been so much easier had I made some better choices when I was younger rather than spending it on nights out, holidays, expensive clothes and cars not to mention the amount of mates I bailed out.

We're far from skint, we have a good life. I just think it could be better.

Thanks OP for providing the catalyst for my mid life crisis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've no bloody idea where I am half the time!

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

"I think, for me, it's a selfless thing.

It's daft really because he has such a good head on his shoulders and he will considerably outstrip me earnings potential wise when he's 3 to 4 years further down the line. So I know he'll be fine.

We're far from skint, we have a good life. I just think it could be better.

Thanks OP for providing the catalyst for my mid life crisis

Awww I want someone who wants to make sure I'm alright after reading that I've been reminded there isnt!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks OP for providing the catalyst for my mid life crisis

Aww you're welcome. Anytime!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, i was certain i didn't want kids marriage settling down any of that stuff, met L she fell pregnant not planned, and now we have just celebrated 20 years together our kids are basically grown up and we have a good life, so it worked out in the end

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By *rGuyMan
over a year ago

Croydon

Not at this moment in time. Bit of a shit end to last year. Ended up having to move back into my old dears after splitting up with the ex!

Starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel though. Signing the contract to open my own garage tomorrow and start saving some money to move out again.

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford

Hilary was also into all things horse related and left a family of rotary club and W I members in the shires and came to the big smoke and turned into a right one.

She's certainly not where her parents thought she would be or ought to be and I'm sure if you asked her ten years ago she wouldn't dream she'd be meeting strangers for sex.

Me, I thought I'd be in the chokey, and so did many others, but Hilary saved me and now I have a wife , children and a house. If you told me I'd have all those when I was 21, I would have laughed at you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha 16 year old me dreamt of being married and having kids and I saw myself as more of a corporate person.

But my life is so much better than that. I don't really see myself ever settling down and having kids and I am quite happy with that. After doing the office thing reality hit and I got my degree and a job I love that isn't behind some desk all day.

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be. Douglas Adams

i was going to be a car designer, then in media....long marriage like my parents...not everything worked out....well I have 2 wonderful daughters, a few close friends and every now and then i get paid to do the most amazing jobs so i'm with Douglas on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha. No. I'm not where I expected to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not where I expected to be, which as it turns out is a good thing.

15 year old me wanted enough kids to start a football team, a house in the country and family roasts on Sunday's.

Then life promptly fucked me over on numerous occasions and hell was somewhere I got used to being.

(Seriously my past would give soap writers enough material for a decade)

No kids, a horrific marriage and high level career abandoned - at 38 I'm the most content I've ever been.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" at 38 I'm the most content I've ever been.

That's the important bit

All that went before ... it makes you appreciate what you have now just that little bit more.

I bet you take sod all for granted and you work so much harder to hold onto and cherish what you have.

I'm so glad you've got what makes you happy x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

After a long marriage.. three grown up kids .. slaving to climb the greasy property ladder and raise a family... I've dropped out .. shacked up .. chilled and found happiness in a new family where hopefully I will grab this second chance with both hands .. and enjoy to the full my new freedom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lifes treated me shit at times in more ways than one lol left school wanted to be a football player had trials for watford,stoke,preston, but came to nothing then had a real bad injury playing for local side,also played rugby but it also put paid to that aswell the injury,been married and then had her take me for a mug money wise in divorce etc but,cant complain now as have a very good job money wise and travel the world on some great holidays but life could be so much better at times but people tell me life is what u make it or you get out of life what you put into it hmmmm anyway enough said have a great day fabbers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Council estate kid left home at seventeen to live with my girlfriend . Lived in a crappy flat with next to nothing, sixteen years later the girlfriend is my wife and the flat is a five bed house we own. we sometimes sit at home and wonder how the hell we did it

Oh and we attend parties to have sex with strangers

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Didn't expect to get married. My mum said men didn't like fat girls so groomed me to be her carer in case dad popped off first. I ate for comfort and the doctors said I'd be dead by 30 if I didn't stop.

I didn't stop.

I'm now 56, married, had four children, will have four grandchildren by my birthday in September, retired, quite well off, with a younger partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought when I got married I married for life. Sadly he had other ideas.

After time and healing a broken heart, Fab entered my life and I've never been happier.

Wouldn't change anything, past or present

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"In my teens I was a quiet pony club girl who spent every spare minute mucking out or riding.

I always assumed I'd end up married to guy in a checked shirt and t with 2.4 labradors (because I hated kids)and be part of the Burghley Brigade.

Fast forward a few years and I'm a purple haired dancer, married to a long haired, tattooed musician with a talented brood of mini me's and we attend parties where we fuck strangers!

Life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need sometimes

I exceeded my own expectation I mess up my life big time because I went off the rails from 13 to 16 ,

was told with my attitude id be banged up before my teens were over told I needed a attitude change ( this reminds me of fab members

)

I didn't really change my attitude I just rechanneled my anger into proving that person wrong .

the work environment made me by the time I was 27 I had exceeded all my own expectations on what I could achieve and make my mother very proud in the process , the feeling of her telling me out of the blue over a mothers day meal that she was proud of the man I had become still chokes me up to this day.

so to answer your question op I surprised myself and exceeded not only my own expectations of what I could achieve but also others expectations of me to

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Council estate kid left home at seventeen to live with my girlfriend . Lived in a crappy flat with next to nothing, sixteen years later the girlfriend is my wife and the flat is a five bed house we own. we sometimes sit at home and wonder how the hell we did it

Oh and we attend parties to have sex with strangers "

You were lucky

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

Ive everthing i hoped for and more swinging wasnt in the plan ...but its the icing and the cherry on top ...yay !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a fascinating thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the best threads on here for a while...a real good read. No..not where I thought I'd be. First wife...good woman but strung out and not by me. Second wife...my soul mate...wonderful woman and the right woman. But losing your business...money trouble...young kids...caring for my mother with severe dementia...things just piled up and my wife said..don't love you anymore. Devastated..only now several years on am I starting to feel like taking life on again. So heart broken to be a part time dad...when I was cut out and destined to do it full time as I adore my boys and my input with them. Recently met a lovely woman so maybe a new journey is to start. That said I have done some great things..and travelled to some great places...so I have experienced much. Better to have loved and lost than not lived at all....i think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loved...not lived...!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" at 38 I'm the most content I've ever been.

That's the important bit

All that went before ... it makes you appreciate what you have now just that little bit more.

I bet you take sod all for granted and you work so much harder to hold onto and cherish what you have.

I'm so glad you've got what makes you happy x"

Thank you

And yes I know the value of kindness and compassion and the fallacy of 'things'.

There have been many days I have cursed my tenacity but it's who I am and I no longer see it as a weakness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all. Life throws things at you, circumstances change, things happen that you'd never imagine would, but here I am and I'm very happy with my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither of us expected to be so happy !

We do what we enjoy in every aspect of our lives .

We are financially comfortable , and everything is great . And it's far from boring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and couldn't be happier.

Without bragging I'm ahead of where I thought I would be in life!

Things change quickly though so I'm taking nothing for granted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much, plus a little one and a sister I never planned on having with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im where i am ...no more no less

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was in my teens, I wanted to be an actor. I did 3 years of drama courses at college years ago and passed them with flying colours.

During and after college, I worked at McDonalds for 2 years. Hated every minute of it. I've now worked at a cinema for over 11 years. Enjoyed it at first but now sort of hate it.

I always wanted to have my own place and a family of my own in my earlier years as well.

Here I am, 32 years old, still single, still living at home and my acting career is practically dead in the water. I guess those 3 years of drama courses was just a waste of time then.

Man this is depressing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. I am neither where I thought I would be nor am I where I would like to be. However, I am grown up enough to know that real life is what it is and that you can make of it what you are able to and learn to like what you've got.

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By *r. Pepper...Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Not at all. In my early 20's I was travelling the world on my own and everything was going good.

By my early to mid 30's I was back at my parents after a two and a half year jail sentence. How quickly life can change.

Getting things back together now and working on my own business to start up.

Swings and roundabouts x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, but the highs and lows have reached extremes beyond those a young mind was capable of imagining......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all. I envisaged being a continent hopping journo. No ties.

Instead I'm back in hotels where I cut my teeth. Crap wage. Living in a house I don't particularly like. Got a gorgeous child in tow so although she wasn't in the plan I reckon I did alright there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was in my teens, I wanted to be an actor. I did 3 years of drama courses at college years ago and passed them with flying colours.

During and after college, I worked at McDonalds for 2 years. Hated every minute of it. I've now worked at a cinema for over 11 years. Enjoyed it at first but now sort of hate it.

I always wanted to have my own place and a family of my own in my earlier years as well.

Here I am, 32 years old, still single, still living at home and my acting career is practically dead in the water. I guess those 3 years of drama courses was just a waste of time then.

Man this is depressing

I guess I'll just have to accept that I'm not meant to achieve these kind of dreams and will always be a failure

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By *onforming_deviantWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"Didn't expect to be where I am right now, but it's of my own doing...

Massive life changes over the last couple of years..... I'm hoping I'll end up with a lifestyle more suited to me than the previous one "

I'm feeling the same... Its not all of my own doing but i am whete I am and i hope the choices I make in the future work out better than the ones I made in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was in my teens, I wanted to be an actor. I did 3 years of drama courses at college years ago and passed them with flying colours.

During and after college, I worked at McDonalds for 2 years. Hated every minute of it. I've now worked at a cinema for over 11 years. Enjoyed it at first but now sort of hate it.

I always wanted to have my own place and a family of my own in my earlier years as well.

Here I am, 32 years old, still single, still living at home and my acting career is practically dead in the water. I guess those 3 years of drama courses was just a waste of time then.

Man this is depressing

I guess I'll just have to accept that I'm not meant to achieve these kind of dreams and will always be a failure

So not achieving dreams makes you a failure ?

I fkin think not

I may not have achieved all I wanted in life but in no way do I regard my life as a failure

Straighten your back young man and concentrate on what you HAVE achieved rather than concentrating on what you haven't

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

At 18 I was on the rifle range during basic training, unknown to me the Squaddie next to me rather than ensuring the barrel of his SLR was pointing down the range, it was pointing straight at my head. Spoiler Alert ('I didn't die

) luckily a Corporal saw and dealt with the issue (yes that Squaddie career was soon ended)

Life could've ended there, my three Children wouldn't be alive, some of the wonderful and not so wonderful experiences I have had, so I never really care about the future or the disappointments. I have lived and I have loved and been loved. But all could've been taken away with a slight move of a finger

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Without going into any great detail, my upbringing wasn't pretty. I guess it's normal for people to dream of careers, relationships or having children etc. From my earliest days I always just dreamed of being me when I grew up. That's what I always wanted. I knew he was in there somewhere and until I found my true self I was never going to amount to anything. Sounds bonkers I know.

After about 20 years of hell I eventually woke up one day aged 35, questioning who I was, where I was and just how I was still alive. It was a true awakening.

Fast forward a few years and I'm happier right now than I've been at any point in my whole life...even though I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I'm just thankful to be alive and have a future that has hope in it. So just to answer the OP's question. I never knew where I was heading or thought where I might end up. All I know is that I'm right here, right now and I'm more than happy about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not sure if I even remember where I thought I would be

The unexpected turn in my life and becoming a Mum when I hadn't planned on having children was a big change

But I kinda feel like where I thought I would be is irrelevant....I have an fantastic teenager and I don't often 'big' myself up but I have done a bloody good job as a parent and that's enough for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My family thought I'd be married with kids like my sisters. But all that matters is that you are happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

26 today and I can honestly say that I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be. Even the last 6 years just seem to have been a huge waste of life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God no, not sure where I wanted to be at this age but I'm here . I just drifted from one occupation to another when younger. Met and married my ex had 3 children and lots of heartache.

Finally got rid of him and had a stroke of luck in agreeing to meet my mr. Being on here definitely wasn't in my plans neither. Life is hard in many ways but I'm much happier than I have been for a lot of years. Who knows what the future brings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly don't know. At 15 I was ready to be a nun, at 16 I was very clear what I would be doing but by 17 all that changed. By 20 I embarked on 12 years of the most emotionally painful losses with a little side-step at 26 of losing physical (and mental) health and expecting not to live.

I don't think I expected that I would always be alone; that I would always be described as loveable and yet never loved.

I'm alive, I'm well, I'm productive and mostly not as bonkers as I could have been.

Apologies, this time of year is difficult.

"I don't think I expected that I would always be alone; that I would always be described as loveable and yet never loved."

So much this.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

""I don't think I expected that I would always be alone; that I would always be described as loveable and yet never loved."

So much this.

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I expected that I would always be alone; that I would always be described as loveable and yet never loved.

I'm alive, I'm well, I'm productive and mostly not as bonkers as I could have been.

Apologies, this time of year is difficult.

"I don't think I expected that I would always be alone; that I would always be described as loveable and yet never loved."

So much this.

Oh lovely

you are far too wonderful for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my teens I was a quiet pony club girl who spent every spare minute mucking out or riding.

I always assumed I'd end up married to guy in a checked shirt and t with 2.4 labradors (because I hated kids)and be part of the Burghley Brigade.

Fast forward a few years and I'm a purple haired dancer, married to a long haired, tattooed musician with a talented brood of mini me's and we attend parties where we fuck strangers!

Life has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need sometimes

In my teens I remember having many a conversation with friends about our lives when we were "grown ups". Apart from having my children, it's nothing like I expected. It's not something that makes me feel sad but I do ponder on it at times. Who knows what the next 40 odd years will bring but as long as there is happiness and laughter then it can't be all bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm exactly where I thought I would be...my family, career and home are what I'd always planned and worked hard for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life has a habit of giving you what you need rather than what you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh completely!

I was sure I'd be married, with children and some cool career. Now I want the opposite.

I'm a 33 year-old Granny who gets excited over steam cleaning and likes a cheese board! "
lol this made me laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've no bloody idea where I am half the time!

I'm with you there lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/02/17 16:33:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without going into any great detail, my upbringing wasn't pretty. I guess it's normal for people to dream of careers, relationships or having children etc. From my earliest days I always just dreamed of being me when I grew up. That's what I always wanted. I knew he was in there somewhere and until I found my true self I was never going to amount to anything. Sounds bonkers I know.

After about 20 years of hell I eventually woke up one day aged 35, questioning who I was, where I was and just how I was still alive. It was a true awakening.

https://youtu.be/G1QkpGMN_C4

You've achieved this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first reply only considered career type stuff, mainly because that's relatively easy to quantify while avoiding complicated shit like emotions. Personally I would never imagine that I'd marry such an amazing person, raise two wonderful children into pretty decent young adults only to see the marriage gradually disintegrate as my partner in crime gradually accepted that she's gay.

This transition hasn't necessarily been easy, but I think we're almost there and now, at the age of 46, it would seem that I've begun a new, if not ever so slightly terrifying, chapter in this funny old life. Would I go back and change anything? Maybe, but ultimately this wouldn't effect where we (I) am now.

I'm both happy and sad, if that can make any sort of sense, and I'm not really sure what the future holds for me.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"My first reply only considered career type stuff, mainly because that's relatively easy to quantify while avoiding complicated shit like emotions. Personally I would never imagine that I'd marry such an amazing person, raise two wonderful children into pretty decent young adults only to see the marriage gradually disintegrate as my partner in crime gradually accepted that she's gay.

I'm both happy and sad, if that can make any sort of sense, and I'm not really sure what the future holds for me. "

Happy and sad sounds balanced to me. You get to write your future, unhampered by an expectation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happy and sad sounds balanced to me. You get to write your future, unhampered by an expectation.

That is a very good, positive point, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anybody's life ambition is to be a single parent on minimum wage.

That being said - I'm a darned site happier than I was when I was in a (bad) relationship and relatively wealthy!

I'd still like to meet 'Mr right' at some point though - and have a career that enables me to treat the kids more!

Exactly. This is me also. Myself and my kids are not only a lot happier away from my ex/their dad but I now have my dream career which he stopped me doing when I was with him. Kids can tell when they're living within a toxic relationship. It's not healthy for them, which is why I left. Life is going so well for our children too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.. But I only look forward.

I make myself happy, not things or people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exactly. This is me also. Myself and my kids are not only a lot happier away from my ex/their dad but I now have my dream career which he stopped me doing when I was with him. Kids can tell when they're living within a toxic relationship. It's not healthy for them, which is why I left. Life is going so well for our children too.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

My life is nothing like I dreamed it would be when I was young, it has turned out far better. I have had one successful career and have now started on a second one, I have a beautiful wife and two kids. We live comfortably and enjoy ourselves what more could I want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you where you thought you would be?

Ummm compared to most people in my age bracket, I'm not doing too bad as far as life goes.

There are still things about myself and in my life that need adjusting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Nor would I want to be where I thought I wanted to be. Having goals is great as it can focus oneself, however dwelling on the past leads to depression and worrying about the future leads to anxiety. I have goals but concentrate on the here and now. Some bits I absolutely love. Others I wish to change. One small step at time leads to happiness. Mr L

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Wouldn't it be boring to know what life bringsor plan everything?

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Well I had no clue what I wanted so that made me lack focus and I bummed around from job to job, I didn't make to most out of my 20s, and I regret that, and I felt I underachieved.

So I went back to uni aged 29 and have sorted most of my life out, career, car, house etc.

Just wish I didn't waste all that time before.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Not quite. I thought I would end up in academia since I was a little girl and follow my grandparents and great grandparents etc.

But life happened when I was in my early twenties (various family things contributing to it) and I am where I am now - very content and successful in many aspects of my life after some sad hardships. I feel better for having experienced life and not continuing in my privileged bubble, I wouldn't have it any other way.

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

I'm not where I imagined I'd be career wise. I'd always wanted to join the police but found my eyesight was far too bad. It took me a long time to get over that disappointment until I set my sights on either an academic or legal career, but real life intervened and made that impossible too. As someone with very little personal self confidence in most things, studying was the thing that made me feel successful and strong and it's a bitter pill to know it's now far too late to put that to good practice.

I don't live how, or where, I 'should' be, all things being equal. A lot of what I think of as spiteful 'third party' interference and very bad luck has seen to that. It's infuriating and, in many respects, worrying too.

I also always imagined I'd be able to plan my family to my own timetable - but have had several miscarriages.

I kind of also thought that when I 'grew up' everything would fall into place as if by magic and I'd finally feel like I fitted in, but even at 52, I still often feel like a weird little kid.

All that said .... I *do* know that by comparison to some I'm very fortunate. I do have children, unlike some, and they're fantastic kids. I've got my own home which some (many) will never have and a very understanding partner. A whole new exciting world has opened up to me in the past year and how many people can say that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm liking this opportunity for reflection and find other poster's reflections fascinating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I always thought I was going to be a scientist or business man but nope and I definitely didn't envision myslef on a swingers site. I always thought the building trade was for dummies and now I'm a builders labourer and going to start college to become a stone mason and I definitely thought I'd be in a serious relationship by now.

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