FabSwingers.com forum: As a parent how do u control yourself

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My 16 daughter was walking into town today with her boyfriend, when a group of scummy kids started calling her a fat c**t and shouting how she needs to lose weight, her boyfriend tells them to shut it. They all gang up and start laying into him, giving him a bloody nose while my daughter is standing by hysterically. She phoned and told her older sister that it's "them kids they know from the area" so we jump in car ... only get round corner and the older sister shouts .. stop there they are .. we both jump out of car and they all shit themselves and leg it barring one. wen confronted he is shitting himself. he soon ran as I got close to him. it's been reported to police, but as a parent self restraint is extremely difficult. just need to let off some steam. how do other parents deal with the anger that is created when their children are hurt ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

you don't retaliate with violence, unless officials do fuck all and then i think it's ok to do that.

just concentrate on the kid that needs you, the one who has been hurt in all this. boost them up, make sure they're ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out."

my other daughter said .. it does make you wonder how these kids are brought up. so I guess from that I know I am doing something right .. but how I stopped myself I don't know

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you don't retaliate with violence, unless officials do fuck all and then i think it's ok to do that.

just concentrate on the kid that needs you, the one who has been hurt in all this. boost them up, make sure they're ok."

yeah I am wise enough to realise that it won't do me any favours, doesn't stop that overwhelming feeling of wanting to though eh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my daughter was beaten up by a group of girls I also wanted to grab hold of each and every girl there. We got the police involved and even though there was independent witnesses it was a case of her word against theirs. Sometimes you have to just take a step back comfort your daughter and trust that one day soon the culprits will end up in a whole lot of trouble and won't be able to defend themselves.

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By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

I know how you feel my son was assaulted at school they stamped on hes head ,im still waiting for the police to sorte it out a year later.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

It doesn't go away. My son was the victim of a very clever, fast and rehearsed mugging when in his twenties. The first instincts were for me and his big sister to jump in the car and trawl the streets of Birmingham until we found them and then vent our anger on them.

I'm actually glad he was so far away as I'm not sure I could have contained myself.

The universe paid back well a week later. An older acquaintance of his spotted that he was troubled, even though he insisted he was ok and she 'mothered' him when I couldn't. He and I are very greatful for that.

I'm calmer about the grandchildren getting bullied though as those youngsters are usually victims of crappy parenting and know no better.

I still occasionally want to do a hand that rocks the cradle moment on them though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you feel better knowing that poeple care xx the girls seem worse than the boys these days xx

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It's very hard. My lad got robbed at knife point last year by a group. You do find yourself losing it. I was sat on a hill waiting for them to pass the next day. I don't know what I thought I was gonna achieve. Luckily for everyone they never walked that way. It could have been very nasty indeed. It's an overwhelming feeling of "how fucking dare you?" That primal protection instinct.

I feel for you. Be there for your daughter and her chap. Xx

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Its so hard...my daughter was about 13 when a group of lads started on her. I went down our village, they all hid in the public toilet, too scared to come out. I stood there for a long time, evetually the ring leader came out and apologised to my daughter. Fair play to him, from that day he actually stuck up for her at school. I could have battered them all at the time. Its hard being a parent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out."

Not all parents would think their child would do this, how their child is at home and how they are when with friends are completely different. Some children are easily influenced by peers, many wanting to fit in/be accepted, so do anything to get that recognisation.

Don't get me wrong some parents will be fully aware of what their child is doing, but I guarantee many wouldn't expect that behaviour from their child; so last thing to solve it would be to smash their teeth in. I would, depending on their age, talk to the parents and make them aware of the situation and from their attitude you would be able to identify whether they knew or not. Alongside this inform the police and hopefully they'll do their job to prevent it happening again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son and a friend of his was jumped by around 20 lads last year, my son had a chunk of his hair pulled out, a lot of cuts to his face and bruising on the upper body, I wanted to baseball bat the lot of them back to the Stone Age.

As my son knew most of them from his school, he chose to pick them off one by one, didn't really get to the bottom of them all attacking my son and his friend, but when I was first alerted to the attack on my son, I drove round to where it happened hoping to find some one to damage. Since then though my son isn't bothered by the group anymore, mainly cause he put most of them on their arses one at a time when they didn't have any back up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's very hard. My lad got robbed at knife point last year by a group. You do find yourself losing it. I was sat on a hill waiting for them to pass the next day. I don't know what I thought I was gonna achieve. Luckily for everyone they never walked that way. It could have been very nasty indeed. It's an overwhelming feeling of "how fucking dare you?" That primal protection instinct.

I feel for you. Be there for your daughter and her chap. Xx"

all I kept thinking was exactly that "how fucking dare you" .. she may be a bigger girl but that doesn't give anyone the right to assume she's lazy and eats too much (she's under the hospital) but a little cushion to her day is .. she went slimming world tonight and lost 4lb this week . she can do something about her weight. it will take alot more for them to become decent human beings.

thankyou everyone .. it does help to just speak to others who feel the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I have a kid and I find out he bullied someone, their ass is going straight to boot camp.

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out."

Well that's very mature, punishing someone for someone else's behaviour

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out."

Well that's very mature, punishing someone for someone else's behaviour

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I feel for you. Be there for your daughter and her chap. Xx

thankyou everyone .. it does help to just speak to others who feel the same. "

Well I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we wish her well, what brill news that she's lost this week. Help keep her on the right track, I know from personal experience how much a knock can send you back down the wrong path.

I know it's no comfort, but kids are cruel. Some grow up to be just as cruel in their adult life, which is very saddening, but they'll find they're the lonely ones eventually. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of these replies.

It socks but it's part of growing up and life. There are plenty worse things coming their way you can't protect them from either.

Follow the law where applicable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I have a kid and I find out he bullied someone, their ass is going straight to boot camp. "

oh absolutely .. as someone who was bullied for years .. and my daughter was bullied too I would disown any of mine if I knew they did any such thing.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"If I have a kid and I find out he bullied someone, their ass is going straight to boot camp. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of these replies.

It socks but it's part of growing up and life. There are plenty worse things coming their way you can't protect them from either.

Follow the law where applicable. "

Never been bullied?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's dealt with by the family.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

"Some of these replies.

It socks but it's part of growing up and life. There are plenty worse things coming their way you can't protect them from either.

Follow the law where applicable.

Never been bullied?"

I was at first but soon got fed up with that! But I have to agree with Lib's comment, you do have to stand your ground at times. If that means getting an unfair slap, so be it but if you chin a couple of them first... they'll think twice next time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of these replies.

It socks but it's part of growing up and life. There are plenty worse things coming their way you can't protect them from either.

Follow the law where applicable. "

It's not part of growing up when the poor kid commits suicide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My middle son got beaten up recently and he just wanted me to pick him up from his friends house, he was crying his eyes out and cuddled me for ages, I know this scared the life out of him as usually he is mr tough man.

I would have wanted to go and have a word with the parents but this is the kicker, his mum died years ago and his dad don't want to know him so he lives with hiss grandparents, the little shit is untouchable because his mum died when he was 2...he is 15 now. Every single time I had a call from the school that my sons been bullied by this boy, they always use that as an excuse, it got to the point where I snapped and said 'look, I know he lost his mum but he was 2 at the time, I knew her, he can't keep using that excuse for his bad behaviour towards people, not just my son'. I've not had a call since, only because he got expelled.

G x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My middle son got beaten up recently and he just wanted me to pick him up from his friends house, he was crying his eyes out and cuddled me for ages, I know this scared the life out of him as usually he is mr tough man.

G x"

this sounds all too familiar with schools .. my daughter was bullied in primary school too .. and wasn't just name calling .. and the head said .. "but he has family problems" that don't give him no right to kick my daughter though ..and I said "and when he does I expect her to get protected while shes in your care." this cotton wool society is beyond a joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out."

What if the parent twatted you?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out.

What if the parent twatted you?"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out.

What if the parent twatted you?"

Then the circle is complete.

My opinion of people who adopt this attitude is they're no better than original perpetrators.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nephew is being bullied at his school for no reason and now im moving down there I want to pick him up from school one day, i wouldnt hurt a child but a look and a few words to put the fear of god into this child may work.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

[Removed by poster at 16/02/17 22:50:42]

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

I broke up a fight recently between late teenage school kids (girls) outside a supermarket. There was big gang of them stood round watching. Obviously I was careful to not man handle or grab either of them. Anyway the one who was getting the worse of it, I shielded her away from it to the edge, a woman walks up, who was stood watching - it was the girls mother! I was gobsmacked.

It's a different world for some poor kids.

MrB

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

[Removed by poster at 16/02/17 22:58:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From someone who spent over 10 years working the doors . I've seen and dealt with confrontation daily . My kids know if they come home beaten and bruised they will get cuddles and support . If they have started something they will get in trouble . If they are a victim then we will help them resolve it and if we can't do that then I am more than prepared to knock on parents doors and get it resolved .

I was taught do not look for trouble . But if trouble finds its way to you then take its head off .

I have never started a fight and never will I know there is always someone bigger and tougher around the corner .

But I will not be intimidated or harassed or threatened and neither will my family . Those out there in society that behave like animals will only ever day learn a hard lesson in what being hard is the wannabe gangsters and thugs will get the fair share of violence come back at them . Amd it's usually when they are 18-19 on a night out somewhere new where they think they are hard as fuck and then they get the arses handed to them .

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Show your anger to the little shit, scare the living daylights out of it. Maybe next time he might be the sensible head, that stops the others shits going for your daughter.

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By *eardedSilverFoxMan
over a year ago

Colchester

I feel for you. Be there for your daughter and her chap. Xx

thankyou everyone .. it does help to just speak to others who feel the same. "

Well done to you're wee girl for losing 4lbs this week that is fantastic!

I'm just so sorry that these small minded idiots have made her so sad, I hate bullies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmm... touch my babies and I WILL skull drag you!!

The boss is the calmer and more logical one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly I'm the phyco from hell when it comes to protecting my kids. I'd give you an award for your restraint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out.

Well that's very mature, punishing someone for someone else's behaviour

Please take offence, your reply is a common Liberal wet pussy reply.

I was brought up never to hit first, but if you were hit or attempted bully, one smack in their eyeball halted the problem. And you know what, it worked.

My boys were brought up the same way. The eldest stuck up for his girlfriend in school and smacked a bullies face in. Sure, they both got into trouble but they were best of pals after that!! So I treated my lad to a pub lunch.

I don't advocate starting violence, but if someone does, you smack them in the chops, nose or eye.

Like I said, the Liberal pussies can continue with the naughty step and use the 'fuck useless' police. And you get no where, continue to get trodden on.

After the parent has had a smack in the chops, that might motivate them in disciplining their kid correctly.

But each to their own. The world has been going down the pussy PC path for far too long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, Please DON'T take offence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out.

Well that's very mature, punishing someone for someone else's behaviour

Please take offence, your reply is a common Liberal wet pussy reply.

I was brought up never to hit first, but if you were hit or attempted bully, one smack in their eyeball halted the problem. And you know what, it worked.

I don't advocate starting violence, but if someone does, you smack them in the chops, nose or eye.

Like I said, the Liberal pussies can continue with the naughty step and use the 'fuck useless' police. And you get no where, continue to get trodden on.

After the parent has had a smack in the chops, that might motivate them in disciplining their kid correctly.

But each to their own. The world has been going down the pussy PC path for far too long."

Or... that parent gets you done for assault.

The end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, Please DON'T take offence"

What if the shoe was on the other foot, your child had done it to someone so their parent come round and smacked your teeth in. Oh but you're completely oblivious to what your child is meant to of done and instead of the parent speaking to you, you're still none the wiser.

I wouldn't expect my children to behave this way, but can guarantee if they did and the parent took that approach, I wouldn't hesitate in contacting the police. Adults are dealt with more seriously than children, allow me to punish my children my way, if you want to resort to violence then that's up to you, but I won't stand there and take it. It's nothing to do with PC is called being mature about the situation and thinking about all possible situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, Please DON'T take offence"

I'm all for people sticking up for themselves but it's a different matter entirely to match around to the kids parents and beat them up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, Please DON'T take offence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's a thin line....

I was bullied at school, first for being quiet and later for being tall but I was never beat up for it so my parents never knew as I kept it to myself for years..

now with my son, he is a target because he has ADHD and ASD and his boundaries are different to that of other kids ... I tell him he needs to tell a teacher at school if anyone behaves in a bullying manner and so far he's doing ok but I did tell him if anyone ever hits him he should hit back, as that would probably stop them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids are generally horid things, groups of them are truly evil.

But of course they are wonderful when they are yours... bet the parents of every child in that group believes their child is a little angel.

Police are generally useless, as are schools but a list of names to both is sometimes worthwhile.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Did anyone see that documentary recently? One Punch I think it was called, highlighting the deaths of people after just one punch.

All on CCTV too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/02/17 00:12:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very difficult. My daughter was bullied for 18 months by a gang of a few jealous girls led by my (then) best friend's son. I went to her school, but the bullies were sly and the teacher couldn't catch them in the act. I went to my friend, and she totally denied her son was involved...and our 10 year friendship ended overnight.

Nothing worked, until my daughter's big brother bumped into the ringleader one day, said hi, smiled and shook his hand, then whispered in his ear if he ever went near his sister again he'd break the bully's legs and make it look like an accident.

Not ideal, but when all other routes fail, sometimes fighting fire with fire is the only way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did anyone see that documentary recently? One Punch I think it was called, highlighting the deaths of people after just one punch.

All on CCTV too. "

Not seen but experienced similar, my uncle was punched by an 18yr old and he hit his head on the pavement, ended up in a coma, had part of his brain removed and now has a metal plate in, lost about ten years of memory, cant taste or smell anything and cannot feel pain properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If one of my lads got thumped, I would find the kids address, go to their house and smack the parents front teeth out."

Bravo, bravo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's very difficult. My daughter was bullied for 18 months by a gang of a few jealous girls led by my (then) best friend's son. I went to her school, but the bullies were sly and the teacher couldn't catch them in the act. I went to my friend, and she totally denied her son was involved...and our 10 year friendship ended overnight.

Not ideal, but when all other routes fail, sometimes fighting fire with fire is the only way

Fire with fire is all they understand...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a grown adult doing my kids wrong? Simple, they should run, hide, get out of town. I WILL cause them irreparable harm!

If it's a case of bullying or just other kids ganging up on them then that is a bit different. I'll wear a balaclava!

Very difficult to keep your emotions in check when your children are involved.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I so get the lowering yourself to their standards makes you no better than them but that overwhelming urge to hurt anyone who hurts your kids is like no other ... it's hard to be rational and logical.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

Anyway....

At the end of the day, who do you blame it on? The Government, the film censors or the game censors, other folk, the list goes on and on.

I'll let you into a little secret that not a lot of people know...

'We' are to blame!

'We' are the people that allowed it happen and

'We' are the people that can also stop it happening. Our government may try to tell us/you different but the crafty bit is 'we' employ them, 'we' pay their wages and if you disagree... 'we' as a population can change these things. All its called is manners and respect. Please and Thank you.

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By *inzi LTV/TS
over a year ago

The Garden of Eden in Beautiful North Wales

I've gotta stop thinking out loud!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

psst Linzi, your sense is showing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why didn't he start throwing fists? They want to be fight men they can take a slap to the mouth.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why didn't he start throwing fists? They want to be fight men they can take a slap to the mouth."

who said he didn't .. bit different 5 against 1

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