FabSwingers.com forum: Retail stupid questions

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guessing that some or vast majority of everyone on here has worked in retail at one point in your life

I have had some weird ass customers asking for stupid things...and I bet you have too

"Looking for a machine to make toast"

"I need the packaging back for the instructions for the yoyo"

"I'm looking for pussy shampoo"...which she proceed to point at her pussy

What has happened to you?

Weirdest request you have been asked?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it works the other way too with Claire's accessories being the worse offender, Fred's been in there shopping for his daughter and they always say "are you interested in this eyeshadow" or something equally ridiculous.

The pussy shampoo I suspect was a dare

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By *ilvercharmCouple
over a year ago

Our gate

I went into the pet shop the other week and asked if he had any Pokemon for sale

sad now but tickled me at the time

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By *obwithkiltMan
over a year ago

Belton

I worked in lots of areas of retail but the best was in a record shop..

'I'm after a piece of classical music '

'any particular composer sir?'

'all I know is they are dead'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does sir not realise this is a ladies shoe shop ?.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does sir not realise this is a ladies shoe shop ?.....

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By *imited 3EditionCouple
over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

People working in pound shops always get asked 'How much is this?'

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Mine wasn't a question... but a basket of shopping.

Baby oil. Vaseline. Condoms. Pregnancy test.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mine wasn't a question... but a basket of shopping.

Baby oil. Vaseline. Condoms. Pregnancy test. "

Guessing shopping for valentines day then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It doesn't have a price on the shelf...does that mean it's free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had someone asking if we sold moanies... .took quite a lot of detective work to suss out they meant ammonia!

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By *eather_Loves_SexWoman
over a year ago

Halfway Between London and Brighton

I work in retail Pharmacy, you can only imagine!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm looking for febreeze

Is it room spray or fabric your looking for

Yeah that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pussy shampoo I suspect was a dare"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once heard within earshot, the guy in front of me in KFC ask:

"How much is that £1.99 Special?"....

Absolutely 100% serious.

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By *-angel-XWoman
over a year ago

hell

Does the beach have sand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago, I worked in a local shop selling push bikes and some car parts. I was asked for -

1 Tights

2 Cheese

3 Bread

4 Record needles (the guy was getting annoyed because he was 100% adamant that he bought them from here in the past)

....and a whole raft of other stupid items.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I've had people turning up for kids parties.... on the wrong day.

We do unlimited Pepsi, the amount of times I've been asked if the beer is unlimited it mind blowing. Yeah dude, the first time it was funny, the 4000 following ...

Also we have a buzzer system for people waiting for tables. You hand them the buzzer, it goes off to show them what it will do when I call them....

*hands customer buzzer*

Me:"When it buzzes and flashes like this again, it means your table is ready, just come back over to me"

Customer: "well it's doing it now, does that mean it's ready?"

Kill....me.....now.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I worked for a large uk retailer in their customer service department and a lady brought a bra back and I had to ask what was the reason -

It didn't work was the response

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I demand a refund I've been charged for a extra 10p bag I didnt even want

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By *imited 3EditionCouple
over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

'Gies a poke' ...

When i first moved to Scotland it took me a while to learn this was Scots for requesting a bag for their shopping.

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

I was at a cinema and a someone asked the guy behind the counter what was the difference in taste between the sweet and salty popcorn. All credit to him, he kept a straight face and replied "one is sweet, the other is salty".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a friend who worked in a supermarket. A customer took a Cadburys flake back because it was too flaky !!

One lady took one crisp in because it had some tiny hairs on the end, little tiny roots. The shop give her a packet of 8 bags free !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went into the pet shop the other week and asked if he had any Pokemon for sale

sad now but tickled me at the time

That's well funny XXX XXX

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By *ibbyhunterCouple
over a year ago

keighley

Once went to the post office and asked the girl behind the counter if they sold first class stamps here,

(I meant loose not in books ).

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford

I used to work in boots as a part time job.

One customer came in and asked for some deodorant.

I asked "ball or aerosol ?"

He replied "No it's for under my armpits"

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Working in hotels, I have heard lots of idiotic questions but the best were reserved by American tourists in a coach tour of the UK who stopped at our hotel in Edinburgh.

1) How big is Scotland? Is it a village or town?

2) Do you have television (we'd always answer with, We invented it, so we ought to!)

3) Do you have electricity? Our reply was usually to advise when they get to their room, ss the key goes in the lock, stamp your feet twice on the floor! That wakes up and terrifies the two mice in the treadmill below that section beneath the floor, they run in sheer panic for 30 minutes or so, thus powering the room! Just repeat that every half an hour and you'll be ok.

The number of times we had to convince some it was,actually a joke!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I used to work in boots as a part time job.

One customer came in and asked for some deodorant.

I asked "ball or aerosol ?"

He replied "No it's for under my armpits" "

Brilliant

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By *ilvercharmCouple
over a year ago

Our gate

"I work in retail Pharmacy, you can only imagine!!!

Lol me too had s lady bring some condoms back once even the used one she had washed and put in a bag because it had split, you can guess what she was after

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Working in hotels, I have heard lots of idiotic questions but the best were reserved by American tourists in a coach tour of the UK who stopped at our hotel in Edinburgh.

1) How big is Scotland? Is it a village or town?

2) Do you have television (we'd always answer with, We invented it, so we ought to!)

The number of times we had to convince some it was,actually a joke!

You can see them actually trying number 3

Next room putting in complaints about them with all that noise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm, didn't used to get weird questions as much as I would get annoying ones.

"If it's in the catalogue then I should be able to f**king order it! Why can't I?!"

"I am going to say it one more time ma'am. IT IS OUT OF STOCK. If there was something I could do about it I would do it. The till doesn't just have a magic fix-it button. Do you have any idea how much it costs to contract a wizard to install one of those?!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hmmm, didn't used to get weird questions as much as I would get annoying ones.

"If it's in the catalogue then I should be able to f**king order it! Why can't I?!"

Had that happen

What you mean it's sold out...you had it in store 4 months ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once approached a member of staff in Tesco with a bottle of Cillit Bang that had a an advert round the neck of the bottle that said "Removes all soap scum" and asked her if it would get Hollyoaks off my telly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once approached a member of staff in Tesco with a bottle of Cillit Bang that had a an advert round the neck of the bottle that said "Removes all soap scum" and asked her if it would get Hollyoaks off my telly

Guessing it never worked

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I used to work in a music shop, someone once came in and asked if we "sold fishing reels"?

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many slices in a round of toast?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Hmmm, didn't used to get weird questions as much as I would get annoying ones.

"If it's in the catalogue then I should be able to f**king order it! Why can't I?!"

Oh God don't get me started.

"You're a restaurant, how can you run out??"

Erm.... You've arrived 10 mins before closing at the end of a busy weekend and a few thousand people before you have also ordered that meal that's on special offer perhaps?

I try to put it into words they understand, especially if they want to speak to a manager because running out of a certain food item is unacceptable.

"It's only the same as going to a supermarket and they've run out of something that's on offer. It's frustrating, but these things happen, when it happens to me I always kick myself for not going earlier"

Usually does the trick.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I work in retail Pharmacy, you can only imagine!!!

Lol me too had s lady bring some condoms back once even the used one she had washed and put in a bag because it had split, you can guess what she was after

A better cock or shag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

worked in a large supermarket when I was on my y.t.s ( yea i'm that old ) and a woman was at the checkout arguing with her 5yr old about sweets then the kid yelled at the top of his voice if he didn't get any sweets he would tell his nan that she put daddys tale in her mouth .... so funny she left her shopping grabbed the kid and ran out of the store

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By *imited 3EditionCouple
over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

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By *uttyjonnMan
over a year ago

SEA

"I worked in lots of areas of retail but the best was in a record shop..

'I'm after a piece of classical music '

'any particular composer sir?'

'all I know is they are dead'

a decomposer then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in JD sports when I was 16. Some guy said

'Do I get a discount on these Fred Perry trainers?'

I said 'no why would you.'

He said 'because I'm Fred perry'

He got his driving licence out and sure enough... that was the poor sods real name.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

My best come from working in a restaurant. Nothing classy just a typical pub chain type.

"Would you like garden peas or mushy peas with that Sir?"

"I dunno, what's the difference?"

"Do you have a table for 6? One with chairs please?"

"I'll have the gammon please. But can I have it rare?"

"Sorry Sir, but gammon is pork, so it can't be cooked rare."

"Shit. It's pig? I can't eat that!"

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

I was forever getting asked where things was or have you got this is a smaller size by people when I used to do some contracting work in retail shops supermarkets etc

But I did go into a shop looking for a nail brush once and asked could I buy just the one as I didn't want the pack of 4, I didn't realise that it was a pound shop

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"I went into the pet shop the other week and asked if he had any Pokemon for sale

sad now but tickled me at the time

No worse than asking them "How much for the fly buzzing around in the window?..."

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By *aughty_nymphWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

As a chef the funniest requests I've had -

"Is the vegetable soup vegetarian"

"Can I have my chicken medium rare"

"Rare steak (no blood)"

"A half fried egg"

"Eggless omelette"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the thread title. It reads as if stupid questions are available to buy.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Two from me...

"I'm sorry, we have no widgets"

"What, none at all?"

That happened a lot.

This happened once.

"I want to complain, there was a hair in my food"

"I'm very sorry to hear that, may I see?"

"I swallowed it, but it was a blonde one"

He got his replacement food. Anyone that willing to peddle bullshit deserved it...

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By *ilary and DonaldCouple
over a year ago

chingford

"As a chef the funniest requests I've had -

"Is the vegetable soup vegetarian"

"Can I have my chicken medium rare"

"Rare steak (no blood)"

"A half fried egg"

"Eggless omelette""

You'd be surprised how many vegetable soups are not vegetarian.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we didn't have or stock the item, then we were asked-:

"Do you know who stocks them, have they got them in and when do they close?".

So we picked a supermarket right on the other end of town that had no chance of stocking the item and send them on their way. They can lose 30mins in traffic for asking stupid questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just customers who ask daft questions.

My local petrol station has a supermarket attached to it.

Absolutely no cars on the forecourt. The guy on the counter watches me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

I pick up a newspaper, pint of milk, loaf of bread and walk up to the counter.

"Any petrol sir" Bearing in mind he just watched me walk in....

"Not today, just these please"

"That's £3.95, any petrol sir?"

Me, looking puzzled.... "oh go on then, fill my shoes up........"

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By *Devil77Man
over a year ago

West Midlands

We once sent the new kid to the bakery for drippy minge cakes.

He came back with nothing and a bit red tbh lol

My friend was once asked (in asda) for doughnuts but quote " without the hole in it"

That's my favourite

When I worked in a factory, we did the usual tartan paint, glass hammer, long wait trick on the yts kids

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

"It's not just customers who ask daft questions.

My local petrol station has a supermarket attached to it.

Absolutely no cars on the forecourt. The guy on the counter watches me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

I pick up a newspaper, pint of milk, loaf of bread and walk up to the counter.

"Any petrol sir" Bearing in mind he just watched me walk in....

"Not today, just these please"

"That's £3.95, any petrol sir?"

Me, looking puzzled.... "oh go on then, fill my shoes up........"

True, it may seen like a daft question, but staff are trained to always ask all customers if they've had fuel, whether they had it or not. It's to protect the business from a loophole in the law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just customers who ask daft questions.

My local petrol station has a supermarket attached to it.

Absolutely no cars on the forecourt. The guy on the counter watches me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

I pick up a newspaper, pint of milk, loaf of bread and walk up to the counter.

"Any petrol sir" Bearing in mind he just watched me walk in....

"Not today, just these please"

"That's £3.95, any petrol sir?"

Me, looking puzzled.... "oh go on then, fill my shoes up........"

True, it may seen like a daft question, but staff are trained to always ask all customers if they've had fuel, whether they had it or not. It's to protect the business from a loophole in the law."

It seems like a very daft question when they stand and watch you walk across the forecourt and into the shop.......

Out of interest, what's the loophole?

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

"It's not just customers who ask daft questions.

My local petrol station has a supermarket attached to it.

Absolutely no cars on the forecourt. The guy on the counter watches me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

I pick up a newspaper, pint of milk, loaf of bread and walk up to the counter.

"Any petrol sir" Bearing in mind he just watched me walk in....

"Not today, just these please"

"That's £3.95, any petrol sir?"

Me, looking puzzled.... "oh go on then, fill my shoes up........"

True, it may seen like a daft question, but staff are trained to always ask all customers if they've had fuel, whether they had it or not. It's to protect the business from a loophole in the law.

It seems like a very daft question when they stand and watch you walk across the forecourt and into the shop.......

Out of interest, what's the loophole?"

If a customer has had fuel and then comes in to buy something in the kiosk, too, and fails to mention they've had fuel, the onus is on the business to ask. Otherwise, the customer can literally have free fuel, as in the eyes of the law: they made an attempt to come in and pay by just coming into the kiosk. All the businesses can do afterwards is ask the customer to come back and pay. Sometimes it's difficult to keep track who's had fuel and who hasn't, especially if it's busy. So all staff are trained to ask everyone 100% of the time.

If I had seen you walk in, I probably would have asked: 'is this all', or 'anything else'?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I have never worked in retail

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By *osmicplusMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Surely questions asked in the pound shop are the best... For example... How much is this???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never worked in retail"

It's a great job, if it wasn't for the customers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never worked in retail"

Me neither. I'm not a "people person" apparently

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I have never worked in retail

Me neither. I'm not a "people person" apparently

Oh, I've worked extensively with people - especially difficult, disturbing and sometimes dangerous ones - I am a people person.

Just not cut out for retail.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I have never worked in retail

Me neither. I'm not a "people person" apparently

Oh, I've worked extensively with people - especially difficult, disturbing and sometimes dangerous ones - I am a people person.

Just not cut out for retail. "

That's bollox - I've worked in pubs and bars. That's retail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have never worked in retail

Me neither. I'm not a "people person" apparently

Oh, I've worked extensively with people - especially difficult, disturbing and sometimes dangerous ones - I am a people person.

Just not cut out for retail.

That's bollox - I've worked in pubs and bars. That's retail."

You really need to make up your mind.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I have never worked in retail

Me neither. I'm not a "people person" apparently

Oh, I've worked extensively with people - especially difficult, disturbing and sometimes dangerous ones - I am a people person.

Just not cut out for retail.

That's bollox - I've worked in pubs and bars. That's retail.

You really need to make up your mind.

I didn't really think of it as retail at the time. But I suppose it is...

Got a bit messy.

That was the last job I walked out of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People working in pound shops always get asked 'How much is this?'

You can have a lot of fun doing that...totally and utterly childish, but it can be very entertaining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once, an old guy came in to browse, he apologised and left. He had shit himself and lumps had fell out, down his trouser leg and onto the floor. He was either going commando or wore loose boxers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never worked retail, but reading this thread has made me wonder...

1 how many slices are there in a round of toast? a round of drinks is not a fixed quantity...

2 pound shop, our local one often has 'specials' that don't cost £1

3 what is wrong with asking for a machine to make toast? there are options.

various other thoughts, but the prime one is, if you don't want to answer questions from the public, why do you work in retail?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just customers who ask daft questions.

My local petrol station has a supermarket attached to it.

Absolutely no cars on the forecourt. The guy on the counter watches me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

I pick up a newspaper, pint of milk, loaf of bread and walk up to the counter.

"Any petrol sir" Bearing in mind he just watched me walk in....

"Not today, just these please"

"That's £3.95, any petrol sir?"

Me, looking puzzled.... "oh go on then, fill my shoes up........"

True, it may seen like a daft question, but staff are trained to always ask all customers if they've had fuel, whether they had it or not. It's to protect the business from a loophole in the law.

It seems like a very daft question when they stand and watch you walk across the forecourt and into the shop.......

Out of interest, what's the loophole?

If I had seen you walk in, I probably would have asked: 'is this all', or 'anything else'?"

Every day is a school day.

So my point still stands, I was the only customer in the shop and he watched me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

There were no cars on the forecourt.

Plus, I clearly said "just these please"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every day is a school day.

So my point still stands, I was the only customer in the shop and he watched me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

There were no cars on the forecourt.

Plus, I clearly said "just these please"

You should work in a forecourt and train the business owners that own petrol stations as you sound better qualified

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I'm a mystery shopper we often get requested to ask stupid questions and make weird requests to test people customer services skills as well as doing the standard checks that store asks for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every day is a school day.

So my point still stands, I was the only customer in the shop and he watched me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

There were no cars on the forecourt.

Plus, I clearly said "just these please"

You should work in a forecourt and train the business owners that own petrol stations as you sound better qualified

I'd like to think that if there were no cars on the forecourt and I watched the customer walk in off the street I'd be sensible enough to not ask a clearly fucking stupid question. Twice.

Training really shouldn't be necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to work in boots as a part time job.

One customer came in and asked for some deodorant.

I asked "ball or aerosol ?"

He replied "No it's for under my armpits" "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message to both sides:

Customers:

You do not have the full attention of the seller, they are bored so 93% of their brain is planning a holiday, fucking someone, or remembering that funny thing the hamster did in his cage this morning.

Also your original and wittiest comment probably came from arsebook and they heard it 2000 times this week, so pay up and fuck off, they are not paid enough to be nice to you.

Retailers:

The customer doesn't want to be there either, 93% of their brain is where they would prefer to be. They are however uniquely aware that you stand between them and what they want, so will take the piss with that hilarious gag they saw on arsebook that nobody else would dare say or do.

You are however getting paid to pretend to be happy to serve them, so be nice take their money, so they can fuck off quickly.

Bloody people... life would be so much easier if they were not forced to interact...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every day is a school day.

So my point still stands, I was the only customer in the shop and he watched me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

There were no cars on the forecourt.

Plus, I clearly said "just these please"

You should work in a forecourt and train the business owners that own petrol stations as you sound better qualified

I'd like to think that if there were no cars on the forecourt and I watched the customer walk in off the street I'd be sensible enough to not ask a clearly fucking stupid question. Twice.

Training really shouldn't be necessary.

Like I said, you should work in a petrol station you're awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work in retail some questions I have had..

..woman standing at bottom of a flight of stairs.." Do these stairs go up as well as down..

girl standing at an open shop door.." how do I get in

man buying socks.." which sock would you recommend I put on my left foot and which on my right..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every day is a school day.

So my point still stands, I was the only customer in the shop and he watched me walk across the forecourt and into the shop.

There were no cars on the forecourt.

Plus, I clearly said "just these please"

You should work in a forecourt and train the business owners that own petrol stations as you sound better qualified

I'd like to think that if there were no cars on the forecourt and I watched the customer walk in off the street I'd be sensible enough to not ask a clearly fucking stupid question. Twice.

Training really shouldn't be necessary.

Like I said, you should work in a petrol station you're awesome

I used to.

I never asked fucking stupid questions.

But thanks for the input. You're awesome too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where do you keep the ice?

I replied in the freezers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we didn't have or stock the item, then we were asked-:

"Do you know who stocks them, have they got them in and when do they close?".

So we picked a supermarket right on the other end of town that had no chance of stocking the item and send them on their way. They can lose 30mins in traffic for asking stupid questions."

How dare they think you have some kind of ability to communicate with your other stores or know your market and competitors

It is however amusing how many of these "stupid" questions have shown up the poster rather than the person who asked.

Ie table with chairs...its a chain pub many have tables with stools unsuitable for many people.

Or the vegetarian asking if the vegetable soup is vegetarian given its common for them to have meat products in them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend was once asked (in asda) for doughnuts but quote " without the hole in it"

That's my favourite

Again perfectly common product.

Pretty much every supermarket brand filled donought has no hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a chef the funniest requests I've had -

"Is the vegetable soup vegetarian"

"Can I have my chicken medium rare"

"Rare steak (no blood)"

"A half fried egg"

"Eggless omelette""

Ahhh the vegetable soup one is not so silly to ask...

Mum had a veg soup and found meat floating in it... they used chicken stock!

The server pointed out it was vegetable not vegetarian soup

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

In the que at a burger van and a woman asked for a cheeseburger without the burger "So you want a cheese & onion roll?" was the dry sarcky response.

I couldnt laugh as it was my then wife that asked for it, but I did risk a little smirk..

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

My friend was once asked (in asda) for doughnuts but quote " without the hole in it"

That's my favourite

Again perfectly common product.

Pretty much every supermarket brand filled donought has no hole"

How do they get the filling in?

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

My friend was once asked (in asda) for doughnuts but quote " without the hole in it"

That's my favourite

Again perfectly common product.

Pretty much every supermarket brand filled donought has no hole

How do they get the filling in?

Metal tube, after they're cooked like syringe and a dosing pump. I used to do it when a student. Sometimes, 'accidentally' would do five pumps of jam

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

My friend was once asked (in asda) for doughnuts but quote " without the hole in it"

That's my favourite

Again perfectly common product.

Pretty much every supermarket brand filled donought has no hole

How do they get the filling in?

Metal tube, after they're cooked like syringe and a dosing pump. I used to do it when a student. Sometimes, 'accidentally' would do five pumps of jam

So, ermm, you make a hole in it, usually the same one the filling comes out of onto your shirt if your not careful, love the extra pumps though, I can blame mischevious staff for being a messy bugger now

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I was in a charity shop last year and in the rare books section behind the countre was a volume that the man in front of me wanted to inspect more closely.

"Can I have a look at that book, please, Two-And-A-Half Year's A Slave, is it?"

"What," I interjected quickly before the woman behind the countre could say anything, "Is that the abridged version?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a mystery shopper we often get requested to ask stupid questions and make weird requests to test people customer services skills as well as doing the standard checks that store asks for "

No...I'm not going to say it. Mystery shoppers!!!

A stupid question deserves, at the very least, a stupid answer. Please LEAVE the business...do not darken my shop again...!!! The companies instructing mystery shoppers to ask stupid questions just waste people's time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a mystery shopper we often get requested to ask stupid questions and make weird requests to test people customer services skills as well as doing the standard checks that store asks for

No...I'm not going to say it. Mystery shoppers!!!

But the Mystery Shoppers are employed by the shop chain to test honesty, security, and customer service. So any time they are wasting is bought and paid for, and considered an investment by the company.

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By *oisineandAlCouple
over a year ago

limerick

was on the checkout (I was the cashier) in front of the liquor aisle, and I was asked where was the liquor aisle. I was going to be be funny but i kept a straight face and pointed to it.

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By *oisineandAlCouple
over a year ago

limerick

"Where do you keep the ice?

I replied in the freezers.

or where is the milk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where do you keep the ice?

I replied in the freezers.

or where is the milk "

To be fair to the customer, our local store has 7 double rows of fridges, and 4 of freezers. If I didn't know where, it could take ages to find some items.

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By *XMandMXxCouple
over a year ago

swindon

"I'm a mystery shopper we often get requested to ask stupid questions and make weird requests to test people customer services skills as well as doing the standard checks that store asks for

No...I'm not going to say it. Mystery shoppers!!!

I used to work for a large retail jeweller who hired said mystery shoppers.

I had my report come through which showed a glowing account of the delightful lady that served the gent, who knew all about the three diamond rings she showed him and spoke about the brands, offered all the protection and cover and different payment options, scored 98%

Being the store manager, I wanted to find out who had served this gent to congratulate them on such an outstanding report, I checked the date and time of the said visit which was verified with a photo of the outside of the store, according to the date and time, the only female on duty at the time was myself... no such customer entered the store that day, even went back and checked the cctv.

Mystery shoppers are paid in the form of perks and will tell companies what they want to hear. This guy clearly was in a very generous mood when he wrote his imaginary report.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the age old question "do you work here" no i just bought this uniform for the hell of it as i thought it was my colour oh my name tag yeah that's for when i get a bus because im for forgetful of my own name

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Guy was standing in front of all the bottles and cans of pop for a while, I asked him if I could be of any help. He said he was looking for ice. I took him to the freezers!

Announcement to the store, that it's closing in ten minutes. I then get asked, so what time do you close?!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I worked in McDonald's:

"Can I have one beef burger please"

"Ok, one hamburger"

"No, I want a beef burger"

"A hamburger is made of beef"

"So why is it called a hamburger if it made of beef instead of ham?"

"Because they originally come from the city of Hamburg in Germany"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend was once asked (in asda) for doughnuts but quote " without the hole in it"

That's my favourite

Again perfectly common product.

Pretty much every supermarket brand filled donought has no hole

How do they get the filling in?

Metal tube, after they're cooked like syringe and a dosing pump. I used to do it when a student. Sometimes, 'accidentally' would do five pumps of jam

Guessing he meant jam doughnuts instead of sugared ring ones, saying that to me i would know exactly what he meant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a student brought back a absolutely rotting bag of chicken breast. It stank the entire shop. He said he left it on the counter by accident all weekend. Wanted a refund

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate the age old question "do you work here" no i just bought this uniform for the hell of it as i thought it was my colour oh my name tag yeah that's for when i get a bus because im for forgetful of my own name"

this made me laugh out loud

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