FabSwingers.com forum: A to Z of unacceptable excuses for meets

By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

They don't need to be excuses that you have used

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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ants in your pants

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

If it does happen, it's probably because I've been out on the razz for 4-5 days already and I just over-reached myself.

Rare.

Man of my word.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

B: Bee stung my bits

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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cock fell off in the car. no idea how.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dick fell off....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C chafed

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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eggs replaced my eyes and idk how to get to yours

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Elephants blocking the road, can't make it, soz

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

For fuck's sake! The other half's in a bad mood and the kid won't settle. I'm gonna have to call it off.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Fufu caught Fire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fingered myself raw

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Goullies all swollen....

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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gorilla got into my house and is forcing me to hand feed it bananas

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Horse bit my boob!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

warts

oops...went ahead too much

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I lost one of my shoes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really a man pretending to be a couple......shit...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Judge Judy ordered me bound over!

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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jacked off and cba to travel now

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

J: Just another common or garden timewaster, just sayin', soz.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

K: Kicked in the shin by small girl. Can't walk. Soz.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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licked a frog and trippin now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

KNACKERED

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost my house keys....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

labia frosted

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

L: Liver bust unexpectedly. Soz. Next time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mums watching

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

M: Mum won't let me out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum won't let strangers in the house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, No, No, No.... Just No,

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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orange got stuck up my bum.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"My mum won't let strangers in the house "

I've shagged people whilst their mum was in the house. Awake. A few times.

Pfft

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Penis fell off

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Orgasm lasted 2 days - can't walk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quebec had an earthquake and I cannot shag anyone with this misery

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Queing for the GUM clnic - gotta get rid of this itch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Qi was on....secret crush for Stephen Fry

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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run over someone in my haste to drive to yours quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stuck on the loo with the shits

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

S: Shit! My mother died and I'm the best man, I've gotta run... byeeeee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tight foreskin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

UNLOS

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Tazar was set too high - soz, lost function of legs.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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"Tazar was set too high - soz, lost function of legs."

dunno why that really made me laugh.

v virginity needs to be kept intact

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I didn't clean my room,

My mum won't let me out to play..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

L last time i saw someone like you i got arrested not doing that again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U: Universe expanded, now you are too far away

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

You know, it's a real funny story..

So there was this business man, well a twat really..

So he thinks he could be president.. Yeh right..

All a bit of a larf really..

So I make this bet.. 100% I'm gonna win..

But you know what.....

So I'm stuck here, naval orange up my arse and Turkey feathers stuck on my back..

I'm told I'll be let go after thanksgiving..

Anyone know when thanksgiving is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know, it's a real funny story..

So there was this business man, well a twat really..

So he thinks he could be president.. Yeh right..

All a bit of a larf really..

So I make this bet.. 100% I'm gonna win..

But you know what..... y

So I'm stuck here, naval orange up my arse and Turkey feathers stuck on my back..

I'm told I'll be let go after thanksgiving..

Anyone know when thanksgiving is?"

Be careful, I have seen the YouTube Videos, thanks giving Thursday is often followed by smash your doors in Friday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

zelda...as a ninty freak, for zelda...I strangely felt the cock rise for her...

sad I know lol

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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what about w x and y?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 00:43:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what about w x and y?"

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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"what about w x and y?

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

they're usually clever though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what about w x and y?

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

lol....whio cares the thread ends at Z...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what about w x and y?

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

they're usually clever though.

We give them free education, but... *shrugs*

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I didn't clean my room,

My mum won't let me out to play.. "

She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"what about w x and y?

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

they're usually clever though.

We give them free education, but... *shrugs*"

he's starting trouble now, look above you.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Y: Yachting accident. Soz

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"what about w x and y?

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

lol....whio cares the thread ends at Z..."

willie got stuck to my face so i'm shy to go out now

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

x-ray machine showed me what you look like underneath your clothes and i'm not keen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what about w x and y?

Sssh, he's Scottish - don't embarass him for being an uneducated wildling.

they're usually clever though.

We give them free education, but... *shrugs*"

I'm discusted with your anti-scot attitude so i wont meet ya...cos you are a

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Z: Zulus, ma'am, 'faasends ov 'em!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Zanex...got a headache

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"I didn't clean my room,

My mum won't let me out to play..

She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she

Are yer questioning me upbringing??

I had a very questionable upbringing I'll have yer know!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I didn't clean my room,

My mum won't let me out to play..

She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she

Are yer questioning me upbringing??

I had a very questionable upbringing I'll have yer know!! "

We can tell!

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I'm sorry I couldn't make it..

One of them tried to escape from my cellar and I've just spent the last three hours cleaning the blood and checking the other fifteen are still secured....

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"I didn't clean my room,

My mum won't let me out to play..

She didn't make you learn your alphabet though did she

Are yer questioning me upbringing??

I had a very questionable upbringing I'll have yer know!!

We can tell!

Hey,

I resemble that comment..

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Round Two - some good entries in first round

A - Angina. I got out of bed too quickly, to wipe the cum off the flock wallpaper, so my angina won't be up for me shagging now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dad said that it was his turn to travel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

B: because I fell down a blasted badger set and broke my toe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My farmer friend died last night, drinking a pint of milk

the cow fell on him

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

My Dog can tell I've got a meet and won't stop barking

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

C - cat puked on my basque so I've nothing to wear now!

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

E. Electricity bill has come and I can't afford to shower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuckidyfuckinfuckereits sorry can't fuckin cum.

xxx

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

G spot fell off.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Horrendous wart eruptions on my genitals that won't cover with makeup

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

It's my Dad's birthday. Like it was an unexpected occurrence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex was released from prison early and I need to disappear

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Jury unexpectedly found me guilty.

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I was wanking furiously over your pics, I slipped on the cum puddle and well, I broke my Cock...

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Remeber it'supposed be A - Z lol. Last one was J Jury

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

KKK meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

L lost my car keys, mind, mojo etc...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum has my tea ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No number 37 in the street you told me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O: oh shit I have a zit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 11:45:59]

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

P: Police won't release me until I tell them the location of my last victim.

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

piles came back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite a strange thing happened, aliens have abducted me, they allowed me one call so I used it to let you know.. sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Queen has requested my company

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottled it. Sorry. (truths always best)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really really really really wanted to meet.. but I had something better to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost my dick! Had it in my pants lastnight b4 bed, but just can't find it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex.....I've decided I no longer like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lost my dick! Had it in my pants lastnight b4 bed, but just can't find it now

It's supposed to be in alphabetic order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stuck on the hard shoulder.

Got a puncture

AA said at least a 2 hour wait.

Hope we can re arrange and please for give lol lol lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh...I just dont fancy you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unbeknownst to me, my wife made plans for us tonight..

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By *ayde BlanchardTV/TS
over a year ago

lancashire

The dog got d*unk on wine gums.

The Mrs burnt her arse on the sunbed (I have actually had that one)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The dog got d*unk on wine gums.

The Mrs burnt her arse on the sunbed (I have actually had that one)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xylophone practice! I forgot - we've got a clash, can we rearrange?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neighbours are fucking in the road, police have blocked off the road

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Very sorry .. the dog ate my cock

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Wet snow is falling fast - I dare not risk it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xylophone injury, hit my cock with the hammer and it's too flat to fuck.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Zeppelin album was so good I lost track of time! !

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Ooops..

Yodelling class overan...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Zeppelin album was so good I lost track of time! !

That happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cut my cock while shaving

From the female I was supposed to be meeting

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"Ooops..

Yodelling class overan...

Oi! I'm doing Y now seeing as you forgot

Yul Brynner popped round. I was so shocked, seeing as he's been dead for over 30 years that I just lost track of time.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Zeppelin album was so good I lost track of time! !

That happens.

It does lol!

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Ooops..

Yodelling class overan...

Round again.

A: Alphabet class overan

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

This thread has made me laugh.....brilliant

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

A - absailing accident - in A&E

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

B: Best friend got arrested in a stolen car with three transvestites and a monkey so had to go and bail them out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cunilingous lesson doesn't finish til 10 so can't make it

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

C: Car got stolen by some guy, 3 TVs and a monkey, so I couldn't travel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C- cats stuck up a tree.

So got a load of firemen here.

I maybe a while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dead f**ckin horny for you but I need to clip my toe nails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

D: didn't realise until now that I'm actually a box of strawberries trapped in a man's body so I can't meet because I've got to throw myself into a bowl with style meringue and whipped cream.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"D: didn't realise until now that I'm actually a box of strawberries trapped in a man's body so I can't meet because I've got to throw myself into a bowl with style meringue and whipped cream."

Now I'm hungry!

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Donald Trump has put a ban on me entering your cuntry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"D: didn't realise until now that I'm actually a box of strawberries trapped in a man's body so I can't meet because I've got to throw myself into a bowl with style meringue and whipped cream."

Eaton mess - got distracted eating it after reading that post and lost track of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donald Trump has put a ban on me entering your cuntry."

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

F: Forum too busy for me to actually go on a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

G: Grear Scott! I've just realised what a horrible person I am and am leaving on a religious retreat straight away in an effort to improve my soul and save you from the ordeal of having me naked, sweating and swearing ontop of you. Sorry.

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By *ilvercharmCouple
over a year ago

Our gate

H. Hairy day prevents me from waxing

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I - igloo burned down sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jungle fever: I trekked the amazon last week and have come back with some rabid disease. I'll be fighting for next week - faf then?

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By *lassy pairCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich London

"Fufu caught Fire

We like that X

As it was so hot in anticipation lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

K: Keith Richards and the Rolling broke in, raided my wife's wardrobe then stole my monkey and my neighbours car, so Ive been giving a statement to the police for the last 4 hrs and now I have sticky fingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

L - liposuction scars are weeping

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

M - sorry my mooncup is stuck

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Nut allergy. I've just realised you're fuckin' nuts!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Orks have laid seige to the citadel - can't lower the drawbridge to get out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pussy is still sore from last nights 20 man gang bang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quiet in the library.....I'm reading war and peace.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

R: Robin Hood came by and we've been gang banging Friar Tuck all day. I think I broke my cock in him.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Stephen K Amos promised to finally say something funny if I called off our meet. I just couldn't let such an opportunity pass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loaned my cock to my cousin, won't have it back till Thursday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Elephants blocking the road, can't make it, soz"

I think the 'soz' really sells it here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

T: Transvestite rock stars on a joy ride threw a monkey at me and I've got mashed banana in my hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Utterly engrossed in a documentary on Sumatran organutans. Planning on adopting one actually. This took priority over meeting you. Soz

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By *arren the doggerMan
over a year ago

willenhall

Virgin required !! No chance

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By *arren the doggerMan
over a year ago

willenhall

W. Wanked myself all day and no jizz left

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By *arren the doggerMan
over a year ago

willenhall

X. Dropped my xylophone on my bollocks and can't perform to the required standard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xander got there first...

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Vaginaphobia. Sorry it's just come on all of a sudden. I had to cancel my meet with Piers Morgan yesterday for the very same reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"X. Dropped my xylophone on my bollocks and can't perform to the required standard!"

Yours is a better 'X' excuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Y: You'll never believe what heppened...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yanks are coming. Quick I've gotta hid.

xxx

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By *arren the doggerMan
over a year ago

willenhall

Y Your wife wants to leave you and run away with me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Y Your wife wants to leave you and run away with me !"

You're on a roll!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Zebras have eaten my brain so can't go out.

xxx

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By *arren the doggerMan
over a year ago

willenhall

Z zinger strips from KFC have burnt my tongue and I can't lick u out as I should !!

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

A Alphabet soup was the only food option in the hostel doss house but I've struggled getting the letters eaten in sequence but I can have visitors until we're de-loused after I eat Z. Probs best tomoz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My balls have dropped and I can't find a wheel barrow to put them in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

B breast..My breast implants have exploded x

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

C. Your crabs look a bit too aggressive and rabid for my liking.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Dildo got stuck, sorry!

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I died yesterday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

J- just leaving.what's the address again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

K: Killer clowns chased me and now I'm scared to come outside!

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

eaten too many m&m

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

F I'm feeling funny - so funny I don't know what I'm feeling. I'd not want to laugh at you as you get undressed or tell me you've finished. But feel free to arrange

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gunna have to pass my test results are back I've got genital herpes

xxx

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

herpes

PTU gave me them

caught up to L now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Z zinger strips from KFC have burnt my tongue and I can't lick u out as I should !!"

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

[Removed by poster at 11/02/17 17:32:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Granny's pet gerbil escaped and I had to help her look for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a toilet brush stuck up my bum, I need to go to urgent care !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just joking I haven't got herpes. Eirenikos where have you been?

xxx

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