FabSwingers.com forum: What's brown and sticky?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A stick! Post your bad jokes here and let's have a laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do you get if you if you cross a dog with a giraffe?

A pet that barks at low flying aircraft.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

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why didn't the cannibal eat the clown?

coz he tasted funny.

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By *eeky goodnessMan
over a year ago

Worcester

How do you kill and entire circus?

Go for the juggler

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Why do cows have hooves?

Because they lac toes

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

That was my bad joke.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the vegetarian cannibal?

He only ate swedes.

(Groan)

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

so they can hide in cherry trees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

so they can hide in cherry trees."

What's the loudest sound in the jungle.

Monkey's eating cherries.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

"why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

so they can hide in cherry trees.

What's the loudest sound in the jungle.

Monkey's eating cherries.

or are they eating elephants toes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why had Noddy got a bell on his hat?

....

Because he's a cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two birds are sat on a perch and one says to other "can you smell fish?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off of a horse?

About a gallon

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

A penguin was driving his car on a hot sunny day when it started to smoke,

He finds the nearest garage and the mechanic tells him to come back in half an hour..

The penguin waddles off, he is so hot he gets an ice cream.

Oh how he enjoys his icecream and he ends up with melted icecream all around his face..

After half an hour he goes and finds the mechanic and asks what's wrong with his Car?

"looks like you've blown a seal" says the mechanic...

"no it wasn't" replies the penguin "I have eaten an icecream"

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By *edkent69Man
over a year ago

maidstone

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

Wi' jammin'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bob Marley's wife has just left him and taken the satellite dish. " no woman, no sky"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/17 22:49:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you grow your own dope?

Plant a man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the best cheese to lure a bear out of a tree?

Camembert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the best cheese to lure a bear out of a tree?

Camembert"

Actually this doesn't belong here because it's a fantastic joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the best cheese to lure a bear out of a tree?

Camembert

Actually this doesn't belong here because it's a fantastic joke"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what do you get if you if you cross a dog with a giraffe?

A pet that barks at low flying aircraft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a man with a spade in his head called

Dug

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By *oyle_45Man
over a year ago

Worthing

ken Dodd died today

Did he?

Nah, doddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What's E.T short for?

Because he only has little legs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roses are red,

Violets are glorious,

Don't try to surprise

Oscar Pistorius

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to say sticky toffee pudding OP.

Afraid I can't think of a half decent joke right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did Rihanna know Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's blue and white and hard....?

A fridge in a denim jacket!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

What's brown and sticky ?

...Anal sex

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Why does piglet smell?

Because he plays with pooh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's a man with a spade in his head called

Dug

what do you call a man without a spade in his head

dug less

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's grey and cones in buckets....?

Elephants (with or without red toe nails)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the definition of Trust?

Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So who invented the round table?

Wait for answer then say

No was circumference

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

Small medium at large.

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By *unjamesMan
over a year ago

Banbury

Elderly couple sat on a park bench. Wife says to husband

'What would you do if I started smoking?'

Husband thinks for a while and says 'I would pull it out and use lube'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was just looking at my ceiling...

Not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but it's definitely up there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bloke goes to the doctor because hes been raped by an elephant.

doctor says "thats strange, your ass is 11 inches wide, and elephant cock is only 3 inches!" blokes says "yeah i know the bastard fingered me first"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a woman earlier who washes her fanny with kitchen cleaner...

Flash twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors.

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

A penguin takes his car to the garage because it's smoking.

The mechanic says leave it with me for an hour. So the penguin goes for an ice cream and while eating, it melts all down the front of him.

When back at the garage the mechanic turns to him and says it looks like you have blown a seal.

The penguin says no its just ice cream.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's red and white and sits in a tree?

A sanitary owl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's pink and hard???

A pig with a flick knife.

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What invisible and smells of carrots?

Rabbit farts

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By *eeky goodnessMan
over a year ago

Worcester

What's green and smells like pork? Kermits fingers

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By *.1079Man
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalotapus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was walking in the grave yard earlier today and saw someone sat next to a grave

"Mourning? " I asked

"No, just having a shit " they replied

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